Minimum Wage in Love

Hey, girl. Welcome to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. My name is Anwar White, but you can just call me your own personal dating and relationship coach. Each week you'll hear actionable advice, tips and strategies that you can implement in your own love life. I'm talking about healing your heart, dating effectively, and understanding men so that you can, you guessed it, get your guy. Are you ready to level up your love life? Alright, let's go.

So tonight I wanted to talk about what I think a lot of people actually don't talk about, which is what the hidden cost is of staying stuck in your love life. And the thing is about staying stuck is it's easier to stay in your inertia, in love. Right? It's easier to do that. Why? Because when you stay and continue to do the same thing, there's a level of familiarity with that. And that's not scary because you know what to expect. Even if it means going to work, coming home, eating and watching Netflix. It might not be the ideal situation of what you want to do, but there's a certain level of comfort there that feels good. And it can be a bit scary to actually put yourself out there and do something different for a different result. But I'm here to actually share with you that doing things differently will be scary. But when you go outside of your comfort zone, that is where the growth actually happens and that's where transformation can happen. At the end of the day, we have the Internet, so there's so much information out there, but information does not equal transformation. You actually have to do things that are different and actually have to do things that are going to stretch you. And for all of my clients as well as you out there, I'm sure you've been stretched your entire life. Like doing something like this is actually not a big ask of you and the rewards are so huge. So I wanted to talk about this concept that I think so many of the women that I talk to on my consultations, on my breakthrough calls, my sales calls, they are experiencing, which is what I call living in minimum wage, in love. Why do I say that? I say that because we stay stuck. We stay stuck because there's one thing that I ask a lot of the people that I talk to. I say, on a scale from 0 to 10, how would you rate your love life? Most of them say a zero, a one or a two. Now, please, in the chat, let me know what you would rate your love life. Right. This is important because I want us to be honest and I want us to be really, really clear about where we are at in our love lives. So when I say that we are living in minimum wage in our love lives, you can understand what that really means. I'm not here to come for you. That's not my job. I'm here to actually uplift women and empower them. That's my mission in life. That's what I do. So I'm seeing zero. I'm seeing three. I'm seeing five. What happens when you live in minimum wage in love is that you're living paycheck to paycheck. There's no stability, there's no security. You can't rest. You're always working hard and probably doing way too damn much in love. Whether you're going out on too many dates with a lot of randos or you're doing things and trying to make the dates happen, you're doing too much because you're living in minimum wage. And this is the hidden cost of staying stuck in your current love life without any true direction or strategy. Talk to me if you're doing way too damn much and you're working way too hard with nothing, no result, or no positive outcomes to actually come from it. Because that's what I think is the most infuriating and frustrating and confusing part about love. If you don't know what to actually do and what to actually work on. It's the same with living in minimum wage. It's not that you're lazy. It's not that you don't have the potential. That's not what this is about. This is about, yes, girl. You've been doing way too damn much. You and so many other women. Because we think that working hard, if we're at minimum wage, we're working two or three jobs just to keep the lights on. And I want to offer to you that maybe you're doing that in your love life as well. Yeah. What also happens when we're living in minimum wage, especially when it comes to our love life, what happens is that we get mad at the rich because they're doing something and they have what we don't have. So when you're on social media and you see that somebody has actually gotten into a relationship, gotten engaged, gotten married. Some people think that that engagement announcement is the herder. It's not the herder. It's seeing those pictures after the wedding that kills. That's the thing that's like, oh, damn, that looks like a beautiful ceremony. I wish I was there. I wish I was her. That's the Thing that really hits you and pangs you or the baby announcements for those that are wanting to have a child and a family but is not there yet, it's the envy and the jealousy. So I want to offer to you that if that comes up, that's your minimum wage talking. That's the. I wish I had what they had, but I don't. I'm staying here. I'm staying stuck here and I'm doing the things that are not going to get me out of minimum wage. That's the hard part about it. This is about getting mad at people that are getting promotions at work, that they're doing things differently and because of that they're getting the results. We can't be mad at them for playing the game, knowing how things are to be done, what relationships to make, how to talk to certain people, how to form those relationships. We want to think that our work is going to speak for itself. No girl, you can be the nice girl all day long doesn't mean that you're going to find connection, get a boyfriend, partner, get married. Being a good girl doesn't mean anything. It's about the skills. It's about learning how to actually connect. Because quiet as it's kept, nice girls are boring.

No shade, all tea. So anyway, why am I talking about this? I'm seeing a lot of ouches. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here for us to understand what the hidden cost is of staying where you're at. Nobody wants to stay at the minimum wage level. That's not what we're here to do. We're here to thrive. We're here to get the cars and the homes and travel wherever we want to go to in our lives. And I want to let you know that that's available to you and your love life too. But it means that you're going to have to get a level of education. And I'm pretty sure that most of you out there that are listening to me right now, as you've grown up, it has been stressed to you over and over and over and over again. Do your work, study hard, get good grades, get that education. That's the push, especially for women of color because your mothers and your grandmothers have experienced the fact that maybe it hasn't been super safe and secure to rely on a man. So now we have an independence of this education is going to hold me down. That's the thing that I can rely on. I want to offer to you that you can also rely on a different level of education when it comes to your love life and dating and relationships. Let me know if you've ever been taught how to date, how to be in relationship. Please let me know in the chat. Who taught you how to do that? Who told you this is what you do? This is what it looks like.

Because I'm pretty sure that that hasn't been the case. Especially if you're a woman of color, right? Which is the majority of women that I work with.

Nobody, no one is teaching you these things. So I don't want you to feel bad when you don't know what the hell you're doing. No one teaches you these things. So I want us to give ourselves grace. I want us to let go of the expectation that you're supposed to know exactly what to do here. No, you shouldn't. Girl, if I told you, hey, could you like do this surgery? Like, can you just go and do this surgery? You'd be like, hell no. I haven't been trained in that. I haven't been taught how to do that. Yeah, girl. Someone's saying example from my parents, which is probably not a great example. I don't know your parents, but I'm just saying most of us don't have great examples and great models in the relationship of our parents. So it's the same as watching Grey's Anatomy. You think you're going to go into the emergency room and do that surgery? I think not. We need a level of education. That can happen with my coaching program. Another dating coach or relationship coach. A therapist, right? Of course. I would love for you to work with me because I love the work that I do and I love getting my clients results. But at the end of the day, it requires a level of education to help you accelerate getting out of minimum wage before you go to college. Most of us are working a minimum wage job, whether it's your tutoring or whether you're working fast food or doing some sort of community service. But we're working, we're doing some sort of minimum wage job. And then we go to college. And after we get out of college, we're able to get a job. A job that puts us on a path, right? That sets the foundation for us to make millions in our lifetime. And what I want to offer you and what I want to explain to you is that is the benefit of my program, get yout Guy Coaching program is that it is a Dating, Love, Relationship Man University where you get to learn all of the things that you were not taught as you were growing up. And many of us let me know in the chat if it's, you are late bloomers. Meaning we weren't having boyfriends in fifth and sixth grade like some of our white counterparts are doing, right? That actually our focus was that we were supposed to study and get good grades and not make too much trouble in our families because our family unit couldn't deal with a lot of extra trouble or drama. That we had to be the good girl. No getting into trouble, put your head down, work hard, get good grades. So you didn't have time to focus on this part of your life, the romantic, social part of your life. Maybe that started later in high school or in college. I'm saying this because so many of the people that I talk to, the women that I talk to, or saying, yeah, I've been in one relationship, right? Or I've never been in a, like, exclusive relationship. That is hard. It's hard because it's going to be difficult for you to transition into something that you don't actually have experience doing. So there's an education that needs to happen here. Without the education, it's going to be really hard to get out of minimum wage. This is what I want to offer to you, that the GetYourGuide coaching program is a university, and you get to decide about whether you would like to educate yourself in this or not. One of the things that I think people don't understand is, like, just like in the university and college that you went to, the things that you learned there, both in the classroom and outside of the classroom, stay with you for the rest of your life. And that's what my program does. I'm teaching my clients the skills that are going to level up not just their dating life now, but their dating life forever. And not just their dating life forever, but all of the other relationships in their lives. Friends, family, work colleagues, all of these different kinds of relationships, so that ultimately they can be happier feeling more power and in control of their lives. So we talked about education. In my program. You're going to learn dating strategy, because I'm sure most of you don't have one. No shade. All tea. Alti. We're gonna talk about boundaries, because you probably didn't grow up with any. Probably couldn't say no. We're gonna talk about vulnerability because it probably wasn't safe for you to speak up and share your emotions, right? And that be a safe space. So we're gonna talk about how to do that again. We're gonna talk about what you actually need, because I'M sure you may not know what you need. You might know what you want, but you may not know what you need and figuring out what your energy is and how you want to move forward in this courtship process. Many of us actually operate in a very masculine energy because that's how we've succeeded in work. But it might not be helping you in your love life. So that's something to actually learn about and understand. The other things that I think are really important as we talk so much about how we grew up is our childhood wounds, what they are and how to heal them. Because you got to get clear around that. Because if you don't any and everything is going to potentially trigger you, and that's going to be difficult. If you can't manage your own emotions and the expectation is that your partner is going to help you do that, that's a lot of burden, that's a lot of weight on your partner. And at the end of the day, that's not his responsibility, that's yours. So that's your stuff that you got to clean up. That's what we do. That's what we work on when it comes to the get your guy coaching program. Okay, so, girl, let's go to university. You ready to go? You ready to get edumacated on all of this? That's what it's about. If you do, I want you to book a call with me. You can go into my DM or you can go into my bio and click the link and we can talk about that. We can talk about your love life and how to level it up, how to get from minimum wage to, at the beginning, a starting salary. And then let's get you into the six figures.

That's what I'm doing with my clients. Yesterday, a client of mine got into an amazing relationship. She's in Seattle. Before she was working with me, she was going on four dates a week and exhausted. Within three months of my program, she's in a relationship. I just got a message from a woman that I worked with last year. Pictures of her engagement party, and she looked gorgeous. I was so happy for her. She told me that she had never been in a relationship before. So she went within one year. Within one year, she went from never been to her in a relationship to getting engaged. Am I saying that's for everybody? No, what I'm saying is that that's the potential. And you won't be able to actually live up to that potential if you stay at minimum wage, if you stay in your love inertia. If you want to just stay where you're at. Yeah. So many wins from so many of my clients this week. I'm in touch with all of my clients. I have about 17 of them right now that I'm working. I generally work with about 20 at the just because I'm very high touch with my clients. I'm messaging, I'm talking with them every week, every other day or so, maybe twice a week, depending on the client. And, you know, I had a client had an amazing date where she was actually herself for the first time in her dating life and not performing for some man. And she had the best time, AKA she finally made dating fun. She was able to talk her shit and just be herself. I had another client who has started implementing my dating strategy. She's a newer client and she has no drama about letting these guys go, blessing and releasing them. Where she had a lot of drama before, where she would hold on to men because she didn't want to, you know, trigger that abandonment wound. She's letting these guys go if they're not serving her. She feels so empowered. She feels so confident. I have another client who I was actually just messaging her an hour ago where she was telling these men exactly what she wanted in dating before. She would drive to them, make it convenient for them, get close to them. She's not doing that anymore. She would be the one that would be setting up the dates and what I call adminning the dates. She didn't do that this time. What did she do? She told him, I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to see what you've surprised me with. And actually, I would love to meet you around where I'm at. I look forward to you letting me know exactly where that is. She couldn't say that before. Now she can because that's just how confident she feels about her love life. That's what this is about more than anything else. This is about becoming the CEO of your love life. And if you don't feel that way, if you don't feel like you got your degree, like you know what you're talking about, then you need to go to Love University. You need to get into the get yout Guy coaching program. I think I gave you an Obama thumb. My apologies.

So again, if you are interested, if this is something that you want to do, book a call with me. Make the decision to do something different, to take action to level up. I was talking to a woman last night who is now my client today. She lives in Italy. And I was talking to her about my program, and she was like, I don't really make decisions on the fly. And I was like, talk to me about how that affects your love life, because I think it's really important.

This. The decision about making changes in your love life, about booking a call with me, these are all decisions. If you can't make a decision for yourself, the way that that looks like in your love life is that that man is going to make a decision for you. It means that you're not going to know because you're not trusting yourself and you're not confident in your intuition and confident in what you want and honoring that. So I want you to really think about what decisions you need to make in your life, regardless of if it's, you know, leveling up your love life. I think that's great if you're ready, because my program does the work and gets great results. But I want you to think about this in totality. Are you making the decisions that you need to make to make your life easier, more fulfilling, make you happier? These are all decisions, and you get to make them. So I want to empower you to make the decisions that are going to help you live the idealized version, the future version of what you want your life to look like. Are you getting closer to that? What decisions are you making to get closer to that? As it relates to love, obviously, but also other things, because my program is not just about love. It's about you. It's about helping you become the woman that's ready for the best relationship and best life. That's what this is about. Just like university helps you get ready for the best version of your life. So if that's something that you're interested in, if you're like, I want to get my BAE by the summer, or I'm ready to actually get this solved this year. No more shoulda, coulda, woulda's. No more oh, I'm gonna wait. It's gonna simply find me on your couch while you're watching Netflix, or I'm gonna work on myself. And then when I feel like I'm perfect, then I'll do it. One, you're never gonna be perfect. Two, you're probably never going to be ready. Three, dating is an opportunity for you to actually heal and learn about yourself. Dating, like parenting, actually brings all your ish up to the surface, at which point you can address. That's what I do with so many of my clients. So I want you to understand that working on myself and Me getting ready. And you do that in dating. That's how you get ready. You can never be ready for war if you're not in war, if you're not in the trenches, it's like, have any of you studied abroad? I studied abroad in Germany, in Italy, in Mexico, and I live in Montreal now. I'm fluent in five languages, but I know a little bit in about 13 because I have been flirting with men from all around the world. I know everything. How to say it in 13 languages, how to talk to a man in Hebrew, in Korean, in Japanese, girl in Arabic, girl. I know it. All right, but why am I saying this? I'm saying this about studying abroad because I've had a lot of experience doing that. And when you're in school and you're learning a language, you might think that you're hot shit. But then you actually go into the country and you're like, oh, I don't know anything. That's how it is when you think that you need to work on yourself before you go into dating. Yeah, you'll prepare a lot in the classroom and you think that, oh, I know how to do my verbs. I know how to say these introduction sentences. I know how to say, where's the bathroom? I'd like a hamburger. But that doesn't prepare you when you're actually in the country. So I want to offer to you that your healing and the things that need to happen as it relates to your love and dating life can actually help you when you actually are in it. A lot of people don't think about that, but I think it's really important to understand that that's the opportunity for you. Okay, so are you ready to book? Are you ready to at least have a conversation that I think is a net positive and can only benefit you when it comes to learning about your love life, Knowing what you need to focus on to help you get to your love goals, to just talk things out. So many of us actually don't talk about our love lives. I think it's very like relieving to actually do that in a non judgmental conversation. Because I'm not judging anybody here. I've heard it all before, so nothing shocks me. So book a call. Okay. This is probably going to be one of the best calls of your life. Literally. Not exaggerating, because we go there and so you can go to my bio and click the link. You can go to www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or you can just slide in my DMs and we can talk a little bit. Just because I'm married doesn't mean I don't like a little sliding in the DMs. Y' all make a girl feel special that you can do that as well. Okay? I hope that this was helpful for you as you're thinking about where you're at in your love journey. On a scale from 0 to 10, if you are anywhere at a 5 or lower, probably need to put some attention to this. You might be living in minimum wage level in your love life. Okay? You get to make a change. You get to educate yourself. You get to find a new job. It's possible and all of my clients are killing it out there. And I know that you'll be able to do it, too. With the right tools, with the right skills, with someone that's believing in you, someone that's mentoring you and helping you to level up. That's what I do. That's what I love to do. And if you're ready for that, I'm ready for you. All right, my loves, have a great evening and I'll talk with you soon. Bye Bye.

Hey girl. Thank you so much for listening to the GetYourGuy coaching podcast. If you like this episode and want to talk with me personally, please book a free consultation at www.getyourguycoaching.com apply or subscribe and leave me a review Wherever you listen to your podcasts. Talk soon.