Are You Willing to End Gossip?

Are you willing to end gossip brought to you by the Conscious Leadership group? Find them on the web@www.conscious.is. conscious leaders choose to end gossip. This is a radical choice. Let's face it, gossip is normal. It's what most people, teams and organizations do most of the time. Why is gossip so pervasive? Here are several reasons. It's fun and entertaining. Whole industries are built around the entertainment value of gossip. It builds alliances. The people I gossip with are people I'm connecting with. At least while we're gossiping. It can make me feel good, at least in the moment, because I get to be right and I get to be better than the people I'm gossiping about. I also get to avoid feeling feelings I find uncomfortable, like anger, fear and sadness. It gives me something to talk about. Many people wouldn't have much to talk about if they didn't gossip about some other people. Some leaders believe gossip is the way for them to find out what people in their organization are really thinking. So it makes sense that people gossip. But before we continue with our discussion, let's define gossip. Gossip is talking about another person in a way you wouldn't talk if they were present. Gossip is saying things about another person you haven't said directly to them. And gossip is talking about another person in a way that makes you right and better than them. Now that we're clear on what gossip is and why we do it, let's look at the cost of gossip. Gossip damages trust. When people find out we've gossiped about them, they trust us less. When we work on teams where gossip is prevalent, we start to believe that our teammates will gossip about us as well. Gossip lets the steam off, and this can feel good for a moment. That steam is actually discomfort. And for conscious leaders, this discomfort is a gift. It motivates them to go have direct conversations with people with whom they have issues. Gossip wastes time and money because gossip never resolves issues. Everything slows down as problems just keep recycling. This wasted time could have been spent accomplishing goals. Gossip reinforces unconscious commitments to taking less than 100% responsibility, being right, not committing to learning, and not seeing others as our allies. These unconscious commitments destroy teams. So are you willing to end gossip? If so, first make the decision to stop gossiping. It's a choice, and like all choices, it begins with clarifying your commitment. If you're willing to commit, then the next step is to put yourself on a gossip free diet. You might start with a small step like choosing not to gossip about your teammates. Then you can add not gossiping about your boss or corporate. You can add more people to the list as you gossip. When you're ready to go deeper with your commitment, you can choose to not listen to others when they gossip. We keep gossip going in our world by both speaking it and by listening to it. When people gossip with you about others, you can just excuse yourself or change the subject. There's no need to become the gossip cop who patrols your organization, penalizing those who gossip. Gossip is normal in most cultures, but conscious leaders and high performing teams recognize the high costs of gossip and choose to end it. Are you willing to end gossip.