Calling vs. Career Newsletter Video

Hi everyone. I am really excited about this call. I'm here with my co founder, Jim Dethmer, who many of you all know. And I'm also here with Erica Shriver. And Erica is a key person here at the Conscious Leadership Group. She is involved both in the co designing of what we're up to in the world with Jimini. And she's also someone who is a genius in helping people really get aligned with what is their calling. And we want to talk to you more about the difference between a calling and a career and a job. And so I thought maybe, Jim, you might start us out in defining the differences between those three things.

Yeah, sure. Hi Diana.

Hi.

And hi Erica. So fun to have you here.

So good to be here.

So when you think about it, in my world, a job is just what we do to make money, to put a roof over our head, clothes on our back and food in our stomach. And jobs have been going on as long as people have been on the planet. It's just what I'm doing in exchange for getting those things given to me. The key to a job is I want to optimize financial return on energy invested. So one of our kids, for example, is a performance artist and an actor and creates in the world. And over the course of his life he's had jobs often as a waiter. And when you have a job doing what he's doing, you want to get a job in a restaurant where you can make as much money as possible. It's not his career, it's not his calling, just making money to live life. And then at some point, people often move beyond having a job. It's actually an incredible privilege to move beyond having a job. And then you end up with a career. And you know, you go to school, you get trained, you get certifications, you get a job that has a career path, maybe you have a career coach. And here you're wanting to grow and develop and expand and develop competencies and skills and abilities and so on and so forth. Most people have a career and then we believe there's something actually different from that called a calling. And a calling is actually an ancient spiritual tradition. The idea that the divine or God or love would have something that it wants to do in as and through you in the world. So at the Conscious Leadership Group, we distinguish between a career which can be very much a by me experience of creativity in the world, to a calling which is much more of a listening or through me experience. Because in this great noble tradition, the idea was that we would Listen to. And we would get a download from the universe around what it is that the universe wants to do in as and through us in the world. It's a surrender practice, and it's really in our experience, delightful and fun and magnificent. Kind of answering the question, where do my gifts and passion and purpose meet the world and its deep needs such that something kind of explodes forward into the world? So big difference between whether you have a job, a career, or a college.

Right?

And so it's. It's. It's interesting, right? So many people say that's what they want. Like, they want. You know, I just. I want to be living my purpose. I want to be answering a calling I want to do. Some do work that's really meaningful. And so people, you know, even at a very young age, even at the beginning of their career, will often have that type of idealism. But the trick, right, is really finding what that is and living into it. And so since this is where I put my focus for my own life, it's been my own path because, you know, since I was a little girl, that was, for me, what was most exciting of, you know, what. You know, where meaning lied and how what I was doing in the world matched up with what felt most important internally. And so, of course, I had my own path to getting to the place where it really lined up for me. And I notice in working with other people that we get so good at our jobs and we get brilliant at our careers that at a certain point, that kind of youthful idealism kind of drops away and people forget that they were looking for something. And it kind of hits this, like, tipping point, you know, this moment where the career just doesn't. There's that sense of, okay, I want meaning again, or there's. There's some where it's just no longer satisfying that I find that the career can be really. It's the chase of it and the excitement of it and being so well used is so exciting that it can last for, who knows? Sometimes it lasts for a lifetime. But often people get to a point where it's just not. It's not enough anymore. And so that's kind of when I notice people kind of pick up that, you know, the kind of hunger or curiosity about what calling is.

Yeah, it's often that sense of everything is great. Like, my career is great, but I just. There's something missing, and I don't know how to articulate it, but something's not fulfilling me in the same way anymore. And often it is because the Pursuit or the chase is over with the. The getting there has been gotten. And so then there's this longing for something that's even more creatively engaging.

Right, right. And I think it's interesting because I notice a lot of younger people that, like, there is something to the career that I think that helps get you to the calling. And some people will, you know, go right there. But for most people, it's like, you know, working so hard and achieving in whatever way that they do is kind of this setup. And it works with our model at Conscious Leadership Group, you know, focusing, you know, to me, by me, through me, and as me. Because I think what happens in career, if we're really focused is you kind of. You will make that to me to buy me shift in order to be really powerful, to be this conscious creator. And so with all of that refinement of your skills and your gifts, and you learn so much about yourself and your personality and how you want to show up in the world. And then there's a. And then you know yourself so well. And then there's this like. Like you were saying, Diana. Oh, there's more. What is that? And then how do you get to that next place to figure out what that is?

Yeah. And I want to bring in the interplay of this with the whole idea of living in your zone of genius. Commitment number eight. You know, when people read our book, one of the commitments they get really interested in really fast is this whole idea of living in your zone of genius as opposed to your zone of excellence or competence or incompetence. And so they often say, hey, I want to learn about my genius. I want to learn about my genius. We like to say to people, now hold on just a minute. Because it makes sense. You want to learn about your genius. People love to learn about themselves, whether it's taking our favorite tool, the Enneagram or the Myers Briggs or strength finders. People love that feeling of learning about themselves. But this commitment around genius is a different thing. People often say, I want to know what my genius is. And we say all that, like all the rest of our commitments. First comes willingness, because many people want to know what their zone of genius is, or their purpose or their calling, but they want to know it before they face whether they're willing to live in it. So we always start by saying, are you willing to live in your genius? Are you willing to. To live on purpose? Are you willing to surrender to your calling? Because that information doesn't come forward until you're willing literally to Put your life at risk.

Right?

Yeah.

This is why we say. And of course, we got this. We always say from Gay and Katie Hendricks and Gay's fabulous book, the Big Leap. Unless you're willing to face all the reasons you stay in your zone of excellence or zone of competence, unless you're willing to face all that and take the courageous leap. That's why he's booked the big Leap. The courageous leap into your zone of genius. It can be a little like, you know, narcissistic or even like mental masturbation. I just want to have this momentary satisfaction of knowing what my genius is, even though I'm not willing to live in it, or knowing what my purpose is, even though I'm not willing to be in devotion to it, or even the big game, knowing what my calling is, but I'm unwilling to surrender to it. So I just want to speak that because Eric is a genius at helping people discover their purpose and their genius. But we are pretty ruthless about not wanting her to be available to just anybody who wants to learn about themselves. First comes, are you willing to risk your life for your calling? And that's a strong statement. And if you are, we think Erica is one of the best people on the planet to come alongside you and help you discover that.

Yeah. And it is. It's such a courageous leap because your identity or your ego has so many ideas about how the world is supposed to be for you to make it the best. So I know I'm going to be happiest if I have this much money or if I live in this particular place or if I'm spending time with these particular people. And so to listen means could I let go of any attachments I have to how I think it's all supposed to be? And that's. You have to have guts to be willing to do that.

Right. You know, I'm thinking about, like you, Diana. Diana and Matt have this wonderful life living in Michigan. They've got two kids. Life's unfolding fabulously for them. And Diana starts listening to what wants to happen in an as and through her. And all of a sudden they decide they're going to give up this fabulous existence in Michigan and just uproot and move to California. That was like, step one. As I've watched Diana's life over the last, whatever, 15 years, there's just step two, three, four. Matt decides, wow, I have this incredibly successful job, you know, selling pharmaceutical products and more, but that's not my calling. And he just stops, you know, So I just Want people to get there. This idea of being in calling, you know, if you go back to the archetypal thing like Abraham, you know, Abraham gets this calling from God to leave the Ur of the Chaldees where he's living and just start wandering to this promised land. He put everything at risk to have a calling. So that's why we say it's a through me experience. You got to get some mastery of a job and then a career of moving from to me to buy me. And that's wonderful and fun and enlivening and enriching. And then maybe that gets a little old and you go, is there something beyond just me getting better and better at my career? And we think the answer is, yeah, there is this thing out there called the through me calling. Because I just know people get excited about this and they're going to want to get a hold of Eric and say, can you help me discover my genius with us for years? And we say, sure, we can tell you in the book, we tell you exercises to do, discover your genius, but you're going to bump up against. Am I willing?

Yeah. I saw one of our clients the other day, CEO of a company, and he's no longer there. And he said to me, I've never been poorer financially and never been richer in happiness. And that is my experience and the experience I hear from others who do follow their calling. It's just, can you really, truly trust that if you take this leap, you're going to really enjoy the results?

Right, right. But like you were saying, you don't get to know what's on the other side. You don't get to control what it looks like.

Yes.

So, you know, I want. I want to know this beautiful, you know, the story of who, you know, who I am and, like, this gold that I've got to bring to the world. And then it's like, okay, in order to do that, I'm going to have to let go of X and I'm going to have to embrace Y, which I have spent my whole life avoid embracing or whatever it is. And everyone's details are different, but the scenario is never different. There's always something to give up that is, you know, that you have to acknowledge and grieve. And there's always something to embrace that you never ever thought you would embrace. I've never not seen that happen. Just like, you know, there's a predictability to the hero's journey. The details are different, but like, we all pass through certain gates and it's really Exciting when someone is really willing. Which is why, you know, it's interesting when I work with somebody, why it's so important to me, to. Number one. Okay, we're gonna. We need to articulate genius. We need to articulate purpose. We need to just get this whole, you know,360 understanding and articulation of who you are, what you bring to the table, the whole matrix of your being and your life. But then there's a plan for putting it into action. So without that plan and without the willingness to carry it out, like you were saying, Jim, it's a mental masturbation type of thing. And then, not that there's not value to it, you're planting a seed, you're discovering something, but to really live it requires that willingness to let go, to embrace.

Yes.

Like you were saying, Diana, there's nothing more courageous to me.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it is really exciting, actually, when the calling gets you so strongly. Like when I did, I remember feeling like, you're moving to California. I just built my dream home in Michigan. I had my kids in the perfect school down the street. I lived close to all this amazing community. And there was just this. Literally, I felt like a voice that goes, move to California now. And I didn't. I felt like I. It's just so clear. There's no arguing with it. And it was. It's faith, but it's that really embracing the commitment of if everything is an ally, then whatever I'm going to be up to here and listening to this call will be an ally. It's such a practice of trust.

So my sense is that, you know, if you're getting this from our newsletter and you're watching this on YouTube or whatever, some of you are getting stirred, like you're going, whoa. And that stirring ought to be kind of a. In my experience, it's kind of a combination of excitement and terror. It's kind of like oh, boy and oh, shit at the same time. If you're kind of having an oh, boy and an oh, shit experience, you might want to keep this conversation going. And, you know, a way to do that is just ping us at hello conscious, that is, and say, hey, I might want to have a conversation with Erica. That's her genius is helping you discover this stuff.

Yeah, I really appreciate you saying that, Jim, because just because I'm terrified doesn't mean that this might not be exactly what's wanting to happen next. A lot of people can think that the terror means no instead of the terror could mean yes. So I think that's valuable for people to pay attention to.

And that's interesting, too, because part of the fun of this for me is that, you know, we talk about, you know, going from to me to. By me. And we talk a lot about whole body. Yes. Of what does it feel like? You know, what does a yes feel like? What does a no feel like? And to me, in the through me space, when we're surrendering to calling or just surrendering to life in general, we really shift into this whole being. Yes. And sometimes there is a terror yet. It's like Diana is saying, but there's this voice underneath it saying, go. Go to California. Go to. And whatever it is for you, leave this situation. Say yes to this. Say yes to this offer. And yes, it scares the hell out of me right now. And something in me, deep down is saying, go, take next step. Next step. Next step. Yeah.

Yeah.

We all know what this feels like because it's what we do, what we've done. Yeah.

Well, as usual, great hanging out with you two.

Yeah, you too, Jim and Erica. And if you all feel called to continue this conversation with us, you can contact Hellonscious is. And we will put you in touch with Erica to have a broader conversation about what it might look like for you to get a lot of feedback about how to listen for what's next for you.

Yeah, I look forward to hearing from you.

Bye, all.

Bye, everyone.