Dave Kashen and Angie explore how emotions guide decisions. Sadness signals the need to release something. Fear and avoidance push people into rumination and reactive choices instead of grounded ones.
If I'm holding on to something from the past, sadness arises to say, hey, let go of that thing so you can just be with reality as it is. And when you're actually connected to reality as it is, you make better choices, obviously, versus like, I'm just holding— like Jesse's example. I'm like holding on to this thing from the past, and I'm just going to make choices basically to not let go of that, as opposed to, okay, this is actually what's going on right now. I'm grounded in reality and I can choose, you know, both from that, like, grounded in reality and also grounded in myself and my own truth of what I want, as opposed to, to avoid certain feelings or in a reactive state. So it's, it's twofold. Let me be clear. One is you can't be present if you're not willing to feel a feeling that's arising in the present. In fact, one of the reasons we go out of the state of presence is to avoid feeling that feeling. It's like, oh, there's anger. I don't want to feel that. I'll just go into my head and think about things, right? Because in my head I can go into fantasy land and not be in reality.
Um, create my own reality distortion field and then use it as motivation or something.
Yeah. Well, what it looks like for most people is I gotta figure it out. Like, this is kind of what you're describing, Angie. It's like fear, I think, is the most common. So some fears arising, I don't want to feel that fear, so I'll go into my head and try to figure out how to control reality so that I don't have to feel that fear.
