Dave KashenStartup CEO Coach / 2x founder

Eliminate Drama: How Letting Go of Stories Resolves Conflict

5 Nov 2024 · 1 min

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This content was created by Dave Kashen. This content was uploaded by Dave Kashen. This is a YouTube video titled "Eliminate Drama: How Letting Go of Stories Resolves Conflict" (created 2024-11-05) featuring a monologue by Dave Kashen. In the excerpt Kashen discusses reducing workplace conflict by noticing the automatic stories we tell about others (e.g., assuming someone is closed off or disengaged from body language), and recommends challenging those stories—asking how the opposite might be true—to see more of reality and let go of needing to be right.

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This is how to stop having so much conflict at work. You come up and you see me looking like this. What do you notice about me? Your mind is probably thinking things like, he looks closed off, disengaged, uninterested. He's angry or upset. And what I want you to recognize is those are all stories your mind is making up. And we tell ourselves stories so automatically that most of the time we don't even realize it. Right? The only facts were My arms are crossed and I'm looking down. And then we go and try to relate to other people. So you might come up to me, Dave, what's going on? Why are you closed off? Why are you disengaged? And I'm going to argue with you. And now we're in an argument about who's right about their story. Try asking this question: How is the opposite of my story just as true? If you made up a story that I was closed or disengaged, and if you ask yourself, how might the opposite of my story be true? Almost every time you'll find more of reality and you'll let go of the grip of needing to be right about your initial story.