Emotional Reactions: Avoiding Damage When Things Go Wrong #innergame #emotions #founderwellbeing

I would be like, how come we didn't think to do this? How, why, what about this? Where, you know, somebody else is doing it this way. Why are we like all it? I don't even have to yell even to make the person feel bad because now you're basically just preying on their worst insecurities of themselves. Right. Uh, because you're feeling scared and that's what would happen. So it allowed me to, to notice it, not push it away by the way, but just be aware of it and sometimes even make other people aware of it. And, and that, that process was actually a very healthy process for everyone.

Yeah, you probably went into blame mode, Jesse, is my guess, and started blaming them because you're scared and state of threat. I think there's a really important point you're making here, which is most of us know that like when we really fuck things up, it's when we're most emotional and we react, right? It's like, okay, you know, most of the times we can kind of get away with just operating relatively unconsciously. But those moments where the shit hits the fan, where things don't go right or things don't go the way we expect, where something intense is happening, is usually where we cause the most damage. It's like trust takes a lifetime to build and a minute to destroy in relationships, personally, in business. So I think that's an important point you're making is that like the times where we react like that, it's usually because there's some intense feeling in our body that we either don't notice, don't pay attention to, don't want to feel. And then the way we, we react to avoid feeling it is we express it, but instead of doing it consciously, like, oh, I'm gonna go scream, you know, in my car, or, you know, take a wiffle ball bat to my bed a little while because I'm angry and I need to move some anger, we just throw the stapler across the room or rip into somebody. And it's because our system needs to express that energy. So it can either leak out in unhealthy ways, or we can learn to feel it, be with it, and then choose our response, right? It's like ultimately the difference between reacting and responding.