Dave Kashen explores the difference between desires born from wholeness and those driven by a sense of lack. Writing a book to seek validation, he explains, won't fill internal emptiness and often creates addictive spirals where external achievements never satisfy.
So then from a place of wholeness, and the question is, now what do you want? And then it becomes a much lighter, just like, I don't know, I just, I don't know why, I just, I don't know, I just want to do this thing. It's like, seems like a fun thing to do. I want to go, you know, I don't know, impact a million lives, like, and how I want to write a book. Like, it's not because like, that's the right way to do it. It's just like, I don't know, I just want to, I feel like excitement around that. Um, so, and there were times where I run and wanted to write a book because that was more like, because that I need to do this so that I— people will know who I am. And, you know, so it's really subtle, like, when you're coming from like your authentic self versus when it's more of like a, like a filling a void or a lack.
Yeah, whenever it comes from that place as well, the void or lack is tends to just bring more lack and more void as well.
Well, yeah, especially because it's, it's the whole— it's an illusion, right? Like, it's like a hungry ghost. And more, more precisely, um, if you really believe that, like, once I have this, then I'll feel that, and then you get the thing and you don't feel it, what we tend to do is go, oh, I— maybe my bar was too low. I need more money to feel that, you know. And then, fuck no, that's still not enough, right? That's how the— that we get into those spirals and like addiction spirals of like, I guess this wasn't enough of that, I must need even more of it, right? Until you see through the illusion that it's not already here, you're going to keep playing that external game. Yeah, more, more precisely If you really believe that, like, once I have this, then I'll feel that, and then you get the thing and you don't feel it, what we tend to do is go, oh, maybe my bar was too low. I need more money to feel that, you know. And then, fuck, no, that's still not enough, right? That's how we get into those spirals and like addiction spirals of like, I guess this wasn't enough of that. I must need even more of it. Right? Until you see through the illusion that it's not already here, you're gonna keep playing that external game.
