Dave Kashen talks about breaking free from the need to prove yourself and chasing success on someone else's terms. He explores how comparison and the pressure to justify your choices drain energy, and why pursuing what you love beats pursuing what looks impressive.
I started to have a perspective shift that there are many versions of comparison. And, you know, a Naval quote really reminds me of this that I love. It's like, he's like, I think he's re-quoting someone else, but it's like, if you're envious of someone, think of it like you have to trade their entire life for your life. Like in this case, it's like, would I give up my wife to be CEO of Airbnb? Like, absolutely not. Like, like, there's, there's not a question in my life. Now, if I could bring my wife with me, like, yes, I'd be happy. But like, would I give up?
You can't just take the one slice of their life that you, you're, you know, envious of and leave all the rest and all the rest.
Exactly. So I think that is something that I really have taken with me. So the Burner Proof change and I, and the chip on my shoulder really, really subsided.
And what's the burden of proof now?
I don't know. Is there a burden of proof? I mean, honestly, like, I don't know. Like, maybe it's— there is still things like that I desire and want, but I don't think they come from proving myself. I don't feel— I don't know.
I think it's an illusion. That's— it was a, it was a leading question. I was hoping you'd say that. Um, yeah, I don't think there is any burden of proof. And what— proving what to whom? Like, what do we mean by that? Right. I think that we're inherently and born worthy and the rest is just what we choose to do. And I think you made this point several times in several different ways around authenticity. That is really important because, you know, I've said to a bunch of founders, you know, okay, you're trying to figure out like, what did Sam Altman do? What did Brian Chesky do? Or what would, you know, uh, Larry and Sergey do? It's like, well, what if what they did was be unapologetically themselves, right? And so I see this pattern a lot of, of trying to emulate these other people who have the results that you want. And I think we get overly attached, to your point, to the results because we make them mean something about who we are and trying to prove something versus really just following your authentic truth, your authentic desires and wants. And I believe, and you kind of said this earlier, that leads you to whatever you're here to learn and experience rather than some idea you have of what you're supposed to be learning and experience, which probably came from someone else or some need to prove something by some external standard. So I love that. It seems like that's part of what's been your own insight is, oh, I have these desires and you don't need to feel a sense of lack or need to prove something to follow your desire. Like, I just, I love to ski, so I ski. You love to start companies, so you start companies. Like, and that's, you know, when we talk about the heart of entrepreneurship, right? That is, that's like coming from love. Like, what if you could just do it because you love to do it?
