Dave Kashen explains how your listening stance shapes whether people show up for you. When you treat someone as a 10/10 instead of a 1/10, they respond differently. The exercise: listen with curiosity and goodwill instead of judgment, and watch how the interaction changes.
"People don't show up for us as they are. They show up for us as we listen to them." And he had me kind of think of a spectrum of, like, who's the person that I most would not be excited to talk to, and who's the person that I most would be excited to talk to, and notice how different I listened to those two people. And then he was like, "Well, what if you got confused and you accidentally switched, right? And your, like, 10 out of 10 listening you gave to your 1 out of 10 person?" And it really struck me like, wow, I would listen to that person so differently, so much more curiosity and goodwill, and how that shapes how the person shows up for me. So that's something I teach to clients now is really look at how are you listening to the other people and notice how much that shapes how they show up for you.
