Dave Kashen explores how holding goals loosely, through creative tension rather than desperation, changes what you build and who you become. The difference between being driven by curiosity and being driven by fear shapes not just your outcomes but your team's culture.
But let's be honest, what most teams do unconsciously is, this is bad, this is wrong. And so, we just naturally go toward blame and guilt and shame instead of just genuine curiosity where we can actually learn. Yeah.
And I think two things I'd sort of bring into that. I think one is like, for somebody listening, it's like, oh, there's so much nuance here. Oh, it sounds very confusing and nuanced. And I think for anyone who reads 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership or you go to conscious.is and go to their website about Above and Below the Line, This work, like much spiritual work, always comes back to the same place, which is if you're above the line, which means you're curious, you're interested in learning, you're open, you feel open, likely you're doing the desired future state stuff right and our current reality stuff right. And if you feel constricted and blamey and you're mad and you want to be right about something, you're probably in the fear state. And so this whole framework will, will, you can still use all the words, but it just won't, it'll create the sort of negative version of the tension.
Yeah. If you're not actually accepting reality as it is, you are likely in a state of threat or fear to your point. And you're likely gonna then create your desired future state from like scarcity or from This is a problem. We need— and you're going to end up attached to the desired future state because you think it's the solve for the problem and wrongness of the present moment. So, you're going to hold both really tightly and feel that constriction, which again is back in like Dirty Fuel versus you actually want to hold— well, there's a looseness, like a non-grasping in the like, "Okay, it is what it is." This is another nuance. You actually want to hold your desired future state in a certain sense lightly because if you think you need the desired future state in order to solve your problem or in order to be happy or be fulfilled— be okay, basically, be happy, now you're going to get attached to the desired future state and you're back in grasping and constriction and clinginess.
