A short YouTube discussion (Dave Kashen, uploaded Nov 21, 2015) about ‘story wars’ on teams and a leadership commitment to consider opposing perspectives. Speakers (including Jim) demonstrate a practice: articulate your preference (focus on business leaders vs. serve everyone), then intentionally take the opposite view to see how it could be true, which relaxes conflict and opens both/and possibilities.
Story wars. Story wars are what characterize most teams. A story war is when two members of a team or five members all are absolutely convinced that their story, their reality, their perspective, their opinion is right. Story war is when my story disagrees with your story. And now we're going to fight. Commitment, number 10 of the 15 commitments of conscious leadership says I commit to see that the opposite of my story is as true or true as my story. What does that mean?
Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's role model it here, Jim, by using some place where perhaps we have differences of opinions about how we might want to go forward with our business.
Okay, great. Super.
Okay, wonderful. So one of the things that I know I've been holding is the belief that we should really stick to our brand of only working with business leaders and only really going after them as our target audience.
That's great. And one of my big stories is that what we're offering to the world can serve everybody. So don't be exclusive. And eventually, maybe, probably business leaders will come to the party.
Yeah. And so we've had a difference of opinion about that. And so right here, right now, I want to practice this, and I want to take a look at how the opposite of my story could be at least as true.
Okay.
So one of the things that I really most want is I want to impact the world. And my story has been that going after business leaders is one of the most valuable ways to do that. So what if the opposite were at least as true? What if going after a much broader audience and targeting all of them could make a bigger impact by letting lots of people start to influence each other as they get this material? I could see how that could be at least as true.
Yeah, great. And my story is we ought to go impact everybody. That what we have to offer could really be of service to everybody. And so I could take the opposite of that story, which is what we really need to do is focus and narrow go after the influencers of the influencers. And I can definitely see how that's true. I can see that if we focused on the influencers of the influencers, the greater probability would be in the end that many people would receive the positive benefit of our work. So when I see it that way, I notice, I just kind of relax a little bit. I have less interest to get into a na na na squabble with you. In fact, I can actually fully see your perspective, your story, and how it's really a great way to see the world.
Yeah. And I can actually see your side of the equation. And now I'm actually open to perhaps moving more that direction. So I'm not quite sure anymore really what is the best way.
Right. So now from a place of more open neutrality, we could really explore possibilities, including maybe even a both and a win for all. These become options when we let go of a death grip on being right about our stories.
That sounds really exciting. So want to encourage your team to really tune in and ask yourself, would I be willing to see how the opposite of my story and perhaps how your story could be at least as true.
