How to See Everything as an Ally

Hey everybody. This is a conscious leadership group and I'm Daphne Scott and this is Diana Chapman. And we're here today to talk about our commitment, seeing every situation in life and person as an ally for our own growth and development. And Diana, you have a particular story that we wanted to share about you losing your bag in an Uber. And not only losing it, but not getting it back. That's right.

So I was thinking about this last night when I was going to bed and I realized I still have some anger and some agitation toward Uber as an organization. I'm actually okay with a guy stealing my bag. I don't know if somehow I've forgiven that. But there's something still about Uber's lack of support and their lack of getting engaged to help me that I still have this judgment toward and this, like they kept me from getting what I wanted. Yeah, yeah.

And so, you know, as you, as you were thinking about that, you know, the big practice here is to see how that, that not getting what you wanted or somebody keeping you from getting what you wanted is actually there to support your greatest learning and seeing that situation, which is really difficult. Right. Like we lose something or somebody doesn't give us what we want or doesn't show up the way we think it's supposed to show up it immediately, we go against that versus seeing how it could be there for our highest learning.

Yes, yes. So I want to learn a little bit more about what is it? I'm still a little unclear, but what is it? There's something else in here that's wanting to become known inside of me. Yeah, yeah.

Something about support, I imagine.

Yes, I think so.

This is where it helps as the interviewer to know the person you're interviewing. Let's see.

So the thing I have, the thing I judge most about them is.

You.

Know, they shouldn't have said, let's, you know, it's not ours to deal with. They should have, they should have said it's ours to deal with too.

So.

I have that part in me too. That one that says it's not mine to deal with. Take care of it yourself. I have that. Yeah. Oh yeah, I do have that. Uh huh.

Yeah.

Now I notice I have a big, My stomach's flip flopping around. Yeah, the one that says it's not my problem. I don't want to have to take this on as my problem.

Okay, that's great. So you found through this, through this.

Scenario of leaving your bag in the Uber.

And by the way, it wasn't just like Your bag, it was like your computer, and you had work on your computer that you were being paid for and all kinds of other things. So it wasn't like you just lost your bag. So through this, you're starting to find a part in you.

Yes.

And you're learning about a part in you. Who says, this isn't mine to deal with and I don't want to handle this.

Yeah. Yeah. And how I can. I have that part. And that. That part shows up in relationship to others. It says, hey, it's yours to deal with. I don't want to deal with it. And. Yeah. And what that must feel like. And.

Yeah.

And I'm thinking about how I already have enough on my plate as it is. I can only handle so much. And I imagine Uber having so many thousands and thousands of clients can only help at so much of a level and. Yeah.

Oh, that's great. Yeah.

So first of all, I think I have some judgment that I should help more. I definitely have been having. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I also feel like this kind of like the narcissistic side of I don't want to help.

Yeah.

You know, and I don't think I fully have valued and loved the part that says deal with it.

Yeah. So I think a really key point to bring. To bring back to this really, is that it isn't. The learning isn't just about the content of the situation. Right. It isn't like, what did I learn from losing my bag? Well, I learned not to lose my bag. It's not like that. It's. You're learning. You're seeing the. This situation as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

Yeah. Right.

And how that's becoming an ally for you. Yeah.

And I think the thing I most want to bring forward is more of a sensitivity to people's struggles and to see, is there a place I could help maybe that I hadn't seen before? And to the extent that there's not to be more articulate about why I'm going to choose not to help so that it doesn't just feel like a door closing to somebody, but that there's something more sensitive that I could express to others.

Beautiful.

Yeah, that feels good, actually. I feel like I could be more of a loving presence to others if I could open more to that inside of myself.

So that is the practice of the commitment in seeing all situations, people and circumstances as here for our greatest growth and seeing them as our allies. Thank you, Uber, in real time. Thank you all on behalf of the Conscious Leadership Group, thanks for watching.