Dave Kashen argues entitlement is an "IOU for resentment, team dysfunction, and suffering." He offers a three-step shift: notice where you feel entitled, ask if you're willing to appreciate instead, then find something genuine to appreciate in the moment, even in traffic or airport security.
Entitlement. Entitlement is an IOU for resentment, for team dysfunction, and quite frankly, for suffering. Commitment number seven of the 15 commitments of conscious leadership is a commitment to live in a state of appreciation. We suggest that at any moment in time, you're either in appreciation or you're in entitlement. Now, as soon as you hear the word entitlement, you're probably like the vast majority of clients we come into work with because we ask them, how is entitlement showing up in you, in you as an individual and you as your team. And almost never does anybody admit to living from entitlement. So therefore, we like to help people discover how entitlement is showing up in their life. Here's the quick and dirty how to know where you're in entitlement? Just simply ask yourself, what do you get angry about? What frustrates you? What agitates you? Could be something as simple as morning rush hour traffic. You get in rush hour traffic and you start to grind, your jaw tightens up, you really start to get agitated. It could be that a supplier hasn't delivered on time, or the quality wasn't there for you. It could be that your wife doesn't appreciate you the way you want to be appreciated. It could be that. Pick it. For me, it's long lines at the airport when I show up because I tend to be a TSA pre member, I want to get through the line fast. When the line's long, I get agitated. Here's the formula. Anything that you're getting agitated, angry, frustrated, upset by is a source of entitlement. So in my case, what's true is I actually feel entitled to move through the security line at the airport quickly, effortlessly, and with no slow pokes in front of me. Maybe you feel entitled to be appreciated by your wife, or you feel entitled to a certain quality from the supplier, or you feel entitled to getting to work with no traffic. That entitlement really creates a lot of the resentment on teams in the workplace. So first key to living in appreciation, notice where you're entitled. And then if you're willing, ask yourself, wow, am I willing to shift this entitlement to appreciation? So for me, at the airport, what that means is when I notice agitation in the line for security, I ask myself, am I willing to shift to appreciation? And then if I am, I genuinely find something about that moment that I am willing to appreciate. Maybe it's that I'm about ready to go from Chicago to San Francisco in four hours versus four months in a covered wagon. Or four days in a car, and I. I source some appreciation for modern air transportation, and then maybe I place my attention on something else that I genuinely appreciate in the moment. And I'm changing from entitlement to appreciation. Entitlement? An IOU for resentment, suffering, and team dysfunction. What do you want to choose, appreciation or entitlement?
