How to Use the Clearing Model

Are you willing to clear? Brought to you by the Conscious Leadership Group? Find them on the web@www.conscious.is. if you're in a relationship, you're having issues. All relationships have issues. What differentiates conscious leaders from unconscious leaders is how they deal with the issues that come up in all relationships. Relational issues look like differing beliefs and behaviors that cause irritations, disappointments, betrayals, unmet expectations, and broken agreements. These are all part of being human and having human relationships. Unconscious leaders don't deal with the issues of relationship or they deal with them in ineffective ways that keep them recycling. Some people choose to deny they exist or blame others for them. Others might whine, complain, gossip, or explode about the issue. Conscious leaders choose to clear their issues. Clearing is a formal process where an individual must first choose to be curious and open to learning rather than holding on to being right about how they see the issue. Letting go of being right is one of the cornerstones of conscious leadership. The clearing model is the tool we use to let go. It's quite simple and yet deeply effective. In order to clear, one individual asks another individual to have a clearing conversation and states the positive intention they desire for the relationship. Imagine Jenny has an issue with her co worker Bill. It might sound like Bill, I value our working relationship and would like to have a clearing conversation so that we can work even more effectively together. Are you willing to have this conversation and would now be a good time? If Bill is willing then Jenny shares the the facts. These are what a video camera would have recorded that which is unarguable her stories. These are her thoughts, interpretations and beliefs about the facts, Bill and the situation. Her feelings. These are the core emotions. Sad, angry, scared or sexual creative feelings and her desire. This is what she most wants. Her clearing with Bill would sound like Bill, the facts are that you said you would have the report to me by 5pm on Thursday and and it's Monday and I don't have the report. My story is that you are over committed and unreliable. My feelings are anger and fear. What I want moving forward is for you to keep your agreements with me or renegotiate them before an approaching deadline. Bill's role in clearing is very specific. First he listens and second he really seeks to understand how Jenny is experiencing the situation. Just as Jenny has a prescribed script in the clearing model, so does Bill. He says the what I hear you saying is and he simply says back to Jenny exactly or as close to exactly as possible what it was that he heard her say. Next he asks is that right if what he says is not what Jenny said, she corrects him and he repeats her words until he gets it right. Then Bill asks, is there more? If there is more that Jenny has to say about the issue, she says it and Bill repeats it until there is no more. Bill finally asks, are you clear? This means has Jenny said all that she has to say about this issue? She checks to see if she has cleared out her feelings, stories and wants. It's possible that Bill discovers that he too has something to clear with Jenny. Assuming Jenny is available, they simply reverse roles and repeat the clearing model. This model can be used for both simple slights as well as for deep old trust ruptures. It will only be effective if you begin the process with curiosity. Otherwise it will result in a venting or dumping session. You may not have an immediate resolution after the clearing conversation. However, you have now opened the door to create a win for all outcome. It's a reliable way to face and deal with the issues of relationship. So are you willing to clear.