Dave Kashen explains how denied parts of yourself leak out as projection and aggression. The shadow isn't evil, it's asking for love and integration. Self-compassion beats shame when you notice what you've been refusing to see.
your shadow. These are the parts of you that you deny, that you judge, that you, um, and if you come back to this point that like we all have all the parts, right? Um, one easy way to, to know the parts you deny is, and we talked about this, I think in a previous episode, is projection, right? If you look at the world, you're like, that's bad. Or you get really triggered or upset. Oh, you know, that is such a liar. Yeah. I use this example. It's likely telling you, oh, you don't, you won't, you haven't loved that part of yourself. Right. Because let's face it, let's keep using this example. We're all human and we all lie. All lie. Yeah. We all lie. We lie to ourselves. We, you know, subtly, small ways. Oh no. Uh, no buddy. Uh, that's not, that toy's not available. Right. You know, or, you know, um, yeah. And, and sometimes in big ways and the way we've sort of, most of us have learned to relate to ourselves is like, we're bad and we need to be controlled. Right. And so, oh, I got to stamp out that part. I got to make the liar wrong. I got to shove it down deep and like not see it, not embrace it. And ironically, you know, the result of that is that it, these, these parts tend to leak out right in unhealthy ways. Right. Or I'm not I'm not a jerk, you know, I'm a nice guy. Right. So I like buried deep down the like really aggressive assertive one, but then if I got really upset or, you know, I might get really triggered all of a sudden, you know, I cut, you know, then I really am a jerk. As opposed to if you can love that part, you know, can I, can I love the one in me who wants to lie because I'm scared? You know?
