Dave Kashen argues that people cling to unsuitable relationships, jobs, and projects to avoid sadness and grief. Feeling those emotions fully is necessary to clarify what you actually want and live authentically.
A lot of people are in relationships that are not really right for them, in jobs that are not right for them, in business and running businesses that are not right for them, doing projects that no longer make sense, right? A lot of people are way too busy, all because they don't want to feel the sadness and grief of letting go of something. And so it really, the unwillingness to feel that feeling actually impacts your life because you end up making decisions to avoid feeling sadness instead of, okay, I'm willing to feel that. I let myself feel it. Okay, now what do I really want? And so to me, you know, the frame is not like, well, okay, if this gets you to societal success, that means it's a good thing. And if it doesn't, that's bad. My frame is different than that. My frame is what's authentic to you? And if you're not willing to feel the sadness, you're not going to show up authentically. You're not going to get clear about what you really want, and you're not going to sort of live your authentic life.
