Dave Kashen explores the difference between reacting and responding to emotions. The key is letting feelings move through your body instead of suppressing them, then choosing how to express anger or frustration in ways that actually work.
Even if you feel the feeling all the way through, you could still choose to express it. Like, it's still useful to express it, I find, and express it with emotion. So like, what's like my, uh, let's say my son lies to me and I'm really angry probably a good idea for me to go move that anger, you know, wiffle ball bat the bed or whatever, you know. And then I might go to him and be like, hey, Ben, I'm really angry that you lied. I do not want you to lie to me. I want to have a relationship, or blah blah blah, you know. Like, so I might still express anger in, in a way that is clear that I feel it, but I'm choosing to do it rather than it just you know, anger arising, throw stapler across room because like I just like I need to discharge the energy. And that's, that's what creates reactivity versus responsiveness.
Yeah. Yeah. So it's like the unhealthy ways or—
Yeah, to move the energy, like emotion, right? Energy in motion. Like it's just energy moving through your body. And if you allow it, it moves. If you don't allow it, then it gets like, and it wants to come out anyway. So it leaks out. Yeah. In often unhealthy ways.
