Dave Kashen explores how your reactions to others' emotions reveal what you don't allow yourself to feel. When you're annoyed by someone crying or angry, you're often projecting your own emotional restrictions back at them.
If you said to somebody randomly, you sent— you— I think you resist, they'd be like, what the hell are you talking about? Yeah, what do you mean I resist something?
So if you're, if you're intrigued and embarking on this journey, you know, one place to look is look at life and how you react to other people when they're having feelings. Um, like, uh, another coach, Joe Hudson, recently said, if you want to know who was not allowed to cry Look at who reacts when babies cry on an airplane, right? There's some people who are just like, "Oh God!" You know, they're just visibly annoyed, you know, 'cause it's like, "Oh, if I don't let myself feel that feeling, I get annoyed when other people feel the feeling." So that's one place to look is just what annoys you, what feelings annoy you when other people feel them. That's a good sign that you probably don't allow yourself to feel it. And you're resisting it in some way. And then, yeah, you know, if you reflect honestly, you can probably see a pattern of, okay, yeah, I let myself feel a certain level of joy, you know, some sadness, maybe if somebody dies or something like obviously, you know, a really sad movie, but there's not much anger in my life.
Or just the things I think you say you're not. I mean, I think that's a very easy, Or that annoys you in other people, or if you're a parent and your kids, what annoys you? Like, my kid's so, so angry all the time. Or like, I'm not an angry person, or I don't— I think any of those sort of— because I think most founders are intelligent enough to— and they'll say things like that. I don't— yeah, I don't tend to get sad. It just doesn't really happen. Like, I think I would have said that. I still kind of feel like I say, hey, I'm a happy guy. Yeah. I'm a happy guy. And, and yeah, and I think the, um, so anyway, okay, so that's how people kind of— it shows up, that's how it manifests.
Presumably everyone kind of developed it like two flavors of projection we could talk about as a way to again sort of self-diagnose, for lack of a better word, right? You know, one is the first one we said, if someone else does it and you get annoyed. The other is if someone else does it and you judge it, or even if you judge it in yourself, like, oh, I keep getting angry, what's wrong with me? Right. I have a bad temper. I shouldn't, I shouldn't get angry. Or, God, I'm getting like, I'm getting sad. Why am I so weak? What, you know? So if you judge it, you're probably, you know,
