Dave Kashen contrasts unconscious leaders who see obstacles and react with anger or avoidance, versus conscious leaders who label events as allies and learning opportunities. When your boss is indifferent or a coworker disrespects you, conscious leaders ask what they can learn instead of pushing back or giving up.
Are you willing to see all people and circumstances as allies brought to you by the conscious Leadership Group? Find them on the web@www.conscious.is at work and in life, things happen. More specifically, things don't always go the way you want. People don't cooperate and circumstances seem to block your desired outcomes. For most people, this is all part of work and life. When unconscious leaders encounter obstacles and impediments to their desired outcomes, they do one of several things. One approach is to try harder to get the outcome they want. They power up and power through. This can look like having one more conversation to convince or persuade the person who is blocking them from getting what they want. It can look like getting frustrated, irritated and angry. It can look like gossiping to others to see if together they can remove the blockage or at least feel better in the moment. All of these are just different ways to try to change what's wrong with the person, circumstance or condition that is blocking them from getting what they want. It can also look like getting discouraged, tired, even exhausted and giving up, quitting, saying it doesn't matter and it won't do any good. In all of the above. The world is happening to you and what you want is being blocked. Conscious leaders choose to see the world differently instead of living in to me, the conscious leader lives in by me and sees the world as for me. Every person, circumstance and condition is for me. My boss not agreeing with my opinion about a new product is for me. My co worker treating me disrespectfully is for me. The product not shipping on time and the upset customer are for me. My child's ADHD is for me as is my spouse's depression and my parents dementia. Conscious leaders choose and it is a choice to see that everything is for them, but for them in what way? The conscious leader chooses to see all occurrences in their life as learning opportunities. Everything is happening to invite the leader to become more aware, more present, to let go of their attachment to defending their ego. The conscious leader understands that the events of life do not come pre labeled. They know that they give everything that occurs in their lives the label. They can call it an obstacle and an impediment or they can call it an ally. This power to label is one of the great opportunities of conscious leadership. The leader who labels the boss's indifference as a problem to be fixed will react one way. They will try to change the boss or give up in discouragement. The leader who labels the boss's attitude as an ally to their growth will actually appreciate the indifference and get a tremendous set of learnings. The first learning they will get is the empowerment that comes from seeing that they get to label the indifference however they want. Next, they might see that their relationship with their boss is an invitation to shift from defensiveness to curiosity and from entitlement to appreciation. They might also see that they are still looking outside themselves for approval and security, which always leads to disappointment. They could also get curious about how they are creating their boss's indifference and see if this is a pattern showing up in other places in their life. Life for the conscious leader is one big learning laboratory. Are you willing to see life as an all.
