Dave Kashen explores how your blind-spot persona controls you without your knowing it. He uses the Karpman drama triangle to show how shame keeps you stuck in hero, victim, or villain roles, and why self-awareness in coaching breaks the cycle.
Amongst those three, hero, victim, and villain, the one that you most don't think you are is probably the one, it's like the blind spot. Like I could really see my victim and villain, but I was like, no, no, I'm, I, I don't hero people. Like I'm a coach. I know how to do that. I realized for so long I would coach from a hero place and be like, like with you, Jesse, if I may, you know, there was times where you're like, oh, I'll feel, I feel whatever shame around this thing. I'm like, no, don't you see? You're such a great person. And like, you know, shame is just a story. You don't need to feel that. And I think it was actually a disservice. Um, so I kind of woke up to that pattern because it was the one I thought I didn't play. So if there's one you're like, no, no, I'm not, you know, I'm not this, that's probably the one.
And or the one that irritates you and other people a lot. And like for me, you know, and it's, it's so recent, it's like in the last 2 or 3 years. I've like found that I actually, like, victim is like, I, I was like, I'm never a victim. I, I like never, like, it felt so not who I was, so opposite. And, and it turns out there's a really big part of me that is.
