Dave Kashen explores how resistance works in two forms: unconscious patterns like repression and bodily tension, and conscious ones like distraction and escapism. He explains how these show up differently in founders and others trying to unlock their potential.
When we say resistance, what are the flavors of the ways people— so let's assume you develop in childhood, assume it's not conscious either. Like, what are the ways that people resist?
Well, yeah, we can maybe break it down to sort of conscious and unconscious that, you know, and let's start with unconscious.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, essentially it's like repression and denial, like literally, you know, it's so repressed that you don't know it's there, although it probably leaks out. Now and then when you're, you know, didn't get a good night's sleep or you're really upset about something, you're really, we could say, below the line, right, in a state of threat, it probably leaks out. But yeah, it's basically just repressed. And actually, like, if you think about it, it takes sort of energy and like physical bracing to stop an emotion that's coming through. So we end up getting kind of calcified in our bodies. Like our heart will feel a little bit more like heavier closed if we're constantly resisting sadness. But yeah, it's essentially repression and denial unconsciously. Like I don't even know I'm feeling it. Um, and then consciously, I think the most common pattern is the escape into the head. It's just like anytime I or somebody else even like has a bit of this feeling, I will go into my mind and try to figure out something, right? Oh, let me figure out how to solve this problem instead of just be with the feeling. I think that's probably the most common. Uh, distractions would be the other one, right? I'll go, you know, have a glass of wine, have a beer, uh, right, you know, smoke a joint, um, play games on my mobile phone, exercise. Yeah, scroll X or make—
keep my calendar really busy. You know, not that I do that.
Yeah, I have a friend who keeps his calendar really— yeah, I love that you just said that. There's this quote that just popped to mind, like, most of man's struggles come from his inability to sit quietly alone in a room.
Yeah.
Or woman struggles, her ability. And I think the reason we tend to have such a hard time being still is because there's some feelings we've been avoiding feeling that once we get still, it starts to arise. So, I mean, if you think about founders who are some of the busiest people I know, you know, probably in the world, like, it's interesting to wonder how much of their busyness is just avoiding some feeling they don't want to feel.
