Coming Out As Conservative | Sunday Fireside Chat

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Hi, I'm Dennis Prager. Welcome to Fireside number— Fireside Chat number 221. Great. Great to be with you. A reminder, if you just threw a dart at 221 numbers and watched that particular number, it would still be worth it. I, I, I may talk about something that is current, but I always make it timeless. That's my, that's my task, because if we can't derive great ideas from it, I don't really have that much to say. About something, I want to know why it will matter. So that's what I do about every subject. Anyway, welcome to the fireside chat, the unrehearsed, spontaneous time that I have with you. I'm going to do something different today. I always, I think in every instance, I opened up with some thoughts on some issue or issues, but. The one thing I do in advance is I take a look at the questions because then I know which I'd like to answer. They were so good that I decided, and so rich, I decided, you know what, I'll just answer questions. So that's what we'll do today. And let's begin with the video question. By the way, you might want to know something cute. So every time I see the video question beforehand, I, all I see is the person's face, basically, or if they have a full body, though, I see them. And it's sort of a running joke that I, I humor myself a great deal. But Megan, thank God, enjoys it too. And I'll say, oh, okay, his name is, or her name is. And sure enough, I got it right this time. And Meghan nearly fell off the chair. And Nate the Great ceased being great in my eyes when he said I cheated. Do you believe that? That he would think I would cheat on such a trivial matter? Well, cheat even on an important matter. I cheated. That was, that was a terrible moment here before the show. I'm happy we could go on with the show. It was so difficult. But anyway, I guessed her name and here she comes.

Hi.

And let's take it away.

Hi, Dennis. Michelle here, 31, from St. Charles, Iowa. I'm an ex-moderate leftist. I was a copycat. I really didn't understand what I stood for. Since becoming outspoken of my uncompromising faith and my pro-life stances and labeling myself conservative, I've lost many old friends who are clearly leftist, feminist, and even Marxist, or all 3. I say good riddance, but there is a sadness to parting and a shock and horror to see them fight for things that make no logical sense and are often violent and extreme. Have you seen these people change? Is there hope?

Well, Michelle, whose name I guessed, uh, you have asked a very important question and a very sad one in the times in which we live. It is hard for me to imagine that most Americans—I won't speak about other countries in this regard—there's more division here. Most people have gone along with their governments and with their health czars more than Americans. America is really divided about 50-50. So there are very few Americans of any age who have not experienced what you have, the loss of friends or even relatives because of radically different positions on extremely important matters. I mean, it's very hard to imagine. One friend thinks America remains the last best hope of Earth, as Abraham Lincoln said. And the other American thinks this is a pretty scummy country, always has been, founded by bad people and continued by bad people. It's hard. It's hard to imagine that they will remain close. It's such an important subject. So what you have undergone is is not atypical. If any young person comes out. As conservative. They will probably lose friends and hopefully not relatives, but, but that could happen too. I wouldn't even dismiss them as, you know, you, you, I think you put in quotes friends or whatever the term was that you used. They were friends. I don't want to rewrite history. These people were your friends and probably had a lot of affection for you as you did for them. So it's a tragedy that on that on the truly significant issues of our day, you found yourself and they found themselves separating from you or you from them. But that that's. It's sad, but there's nothing you can do about it. There's nothing you can do about it because one of you would have to change. And that was the second part of your question. Can they change? Anyone can change. But the odds of your being able to change them are pretty small, and as likewise the odds of their being able to change you. Friends, in this sense, you're right about putting the word in quotes. Friends have to be people who are kindred spirits. Sure, you can enjoy people with whom you differ on fundamental issues of life. But if they're really important to you, those values, it's very hard to be close or to continue to be close to people who differ with you on the most fundamental matters of life. What is a friend for? A friend is— I've said this, I started speaking on friendship in my mid-twenties when I, when I spoke to college students. And I defined best friend. And the biggest single aspect was to be able to say anything to that person. But if you don't share basic values, you will hide who you are. That's just the way— that's just the way it is. And if you have to hide yourself from, from your best friend or from friends, Or God forbid from your spouse, that's not a genuine relationship. You have to feel free to say anything, not just about what you believe in, about your own life. For example, I've never understood this idea that you don't talk to your spouse about previous relationships you had. I literally never understood that. I want to know everything about my wife, including the boyfriends she had, or in her case, husband she had. Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? That's what makes her who she is. I want to know her. So this is a big issue in our time where people differ. What is his— his contract says only, uh, you know, that's it. If we start late, he— now this is becoming a routine with Otto. You know, I, I think I have— maybe I have to pay him more. You want kindred spirits, Michelle. That's, that's real friendship. So it's, it's painful to lose them. Will they change? I'll tell you, I'll tell you how. Yes, there's one way they can change.

What?

If they open their minds to hearing other arguments, then they can change. But what I have found on the left is they have made a hermetically sealed world. We hear them, we study under them, we watch them, we see them in movies, we, we have them as teachers. We're confronted with people on the left. All of the time. It's unavoidable. But they, they're, I mean, there's proof. A Supreme Court Justice of the United States recently just said that there were 100,000 kids with COVID in hospitals. In fact, the number was 3,500. She exaggerated by 30 times, almost 30 times. That's because she never reads anything that she differs with, ever. I do. I have a subscription to the New York Times, plus the stuff that I read on the internet. So if your friends are willing to watch PragerU videos and you watch whatever they want you to watch, that's, that's not an issue. Then it is possible. Then you can have dialogues. Well, what do you differ with? And that's that. That's your one chance. But most people on the left are not open to hearing other sides because that is why they smear us fascist. Or as I always, always said, six herb: sexist, intolerant, xenophobic, homophobic, Islamophobic, racist, bigoted. So if that's what we are, why talk to us? Why listen to us? Why read us? Why watch our videos? Good luck. Anyway, now find kindred spirits. You'll be a happier woman. Okay, cool. To the questions. Emma in Ontario, Canada, 33 years old. Hello, Dennis, Otto, Snoopy, Nate the Great, Megan's arm, and Megan's baby. It's a recent question because that great news came out just last week. My husband and I faithfully watch your fireside chats every Thursday night, and while we are not particularly religious, we kind of view these sessions as, quote, going to church. I love that. My father-in-law has been recently diagnosed with a very aggressive form of leukemia. And I am trying to navigate this scary and stressful time with my husband and give him all the love and support he needs at this time. You sound like a wonderful woman. I was wondering if you had any wise words or pieces of insight that I could use to help bring comfort to my husband as we face the barrel of the cancer gun together. Thank you for all your hard work and for bringing light into darkness. God bless. Well, it depends on what's on what's eight what's truly aching him. I presume it is the possibility of his dad dying. If you're thirty-three and your husband is let's say thirty-five, thirty-eight, then the assumption is if if his dad is thirty years older than him, it could be less, could be more obviously. And he's only 68. Having my father die at 96, that's 32 years more with my dad than your husband would have if, God forbid, your father-in-law dies now. And presuming that's the age, what you need to do with your husband, and you're doing it, is giving him all this love. Is talk. It's very important for people in pain to talk. Some people like to clam up. People have different natures. But for most people, as Freud put it, talk therapy is a very good therapy. Let let let him emote and what it is, what his fears are. See, if the question is how do you how do you face a loved one's death? Of course, it depends on the loved one. The tragedy of losing a child is a greater tragedy than losing a parent. If you love your parent, it's a very painful thing to lose the parent. But nothing compares to the loss of a child. As my mother, may she rest in peace, always said, Dennis, I'm supposed to go before you do. She always said that. And she was right. So if if there were more specific aspects to the question, I would answer it. I will say one more thing: whenever people call me on the radio and tell me that, for example, they did lose their child, and many people have amazingly, I always tell them, "I just want you to know I do believe you will be reunited. I do believe in an afterlife." It is inconceivable to me that there is a good God and no afterlife. Maybe there's no God, but if there is a God, there's an afterlife. Okay, Evan in Los Angeles, no age given. During a recent fireside chat, you said that you do not expect God to protect you. You mentioned your celestial butler metaphor. Do you believe there have been miracles of provision, e.g., for example, manna from heaven, the walls of Jericho parting the Red Sea, the enemy army becoming confused and killing each other? These are biblical references to miracles. Couldn't some of these miracles of provision also be considered miracles of protection? Of course, that's correct. All I say is I have no such expectation for me. I don't deny that these happened. I believe these happened, as it happens. But that's not the same as therefore, because it happened at a given time in history, it will happen to me. And in virtually every instance, these were done for the nation, not the individual. God's intervention in individuals' lives is not nearly as frequent. As in the whole people's lives, I don't have a problem with that. People do, and I don't. I am at peace with the fact that God may not protect me from a murderer or cancer. That's not His job. Under God's job description is not prevent all tragedy from happening to all people. If it were his job description, by the way, he's really done a lousy job. So we have to be—we religious people—we have to be real. I I I don't like it when religious people lapse into. Clichés that make no sense. That is not God's job. God's job was to make us, to make the world, and to give us rules to live by, which he has, which is why I am such a fan of the Bible, and particularly the Ten Commandments. Okay, Kelsey, 31 years old, Mukilteo, Washington. Hi, Dennis and Megan Otto and Snoopy. As you know, the gender binary is something that God ordained when, quote, he made them male and female. I understand how two specific people can complement each other's personality in a marriage, but I was hoping you could explain why in general men need women and women need men. What are the traits of the sexes that do the other sex so much good when in the context of a relationship? Thank you for all you do. God bless. This is a Uh, a deep person. By the way, I'll bet that this is a religiously active person. The depth that I get from young people who are steeped in, in Judeo-Christian values is greater in general than I do from secular people of the same age or of any age. But that's a subject for another time. How do the— why do men need women and women need men? In a nutshell, because I could, I could do a whole opening monologue just on this. I believe for— there are many reasons. The biggest reason, or one of the biggest, there is no biggest, is that we literally need each other. We become better with the other. So men need women. To, uh, what was— yes, this is an old statement— to civilize them. Men are wild. Every man knows this. Men have wild natures. We are wild in terms of, of aggression and physical violence. We are wild in terms of sexuality. That's male nature. A good woman civilizes her man. And that's one of the big reasons that a man needs a woman. What does a— why does a woman need a man? Just as men have to battle their innate problems or challenges, if you will, sexually and in violence, women have to confront their innate issues with, if you will, hormones. Emotions. Men, a good man, and this is all dependent on a good man and a good woman. A good man helps focus a woman away from being dominated by her emotions. This should have been done just as it is with men. It should have been done when the woman was, was a young girl. But most parents don't do this. They tell their boys to control their nature. But a lot of parents do not tell their girls to control their nature. There's this assumption, oh, she's so sweet, or she's a female, so she's, she's not an issue like a boy is. That's not true. She's as much an issue as boys are. The, uh, as a general rule, understanding there are always exceptions, There's something that both give to the other, and that's maturity. There is no one, no one I have ever met who was married or is married who denies that marriage matured them. Even if they had a lousy marriage, I was going to say crappy. Even if they had a lousy marriage, they were matured by it, let alone a good marriage. Marriage makes you grow up. Children make you grow up even more. Not everybody who got married has grown up. Not everybody with children has grown up. I'm allowed the seatbelts save lives generality. Sometimes seatbelts don't save lives, but overwhelmingly they do. Overwhelmingly, you, you grow up when you get married. Olivia, 19 years old, Bowmanville, New York. Hi, Mr. Prager. As a college student who gets her healthy dose of indoctrination at school, I love listening to your fireside chats and have found them to be most refreshing and insightful. Great. I have a question that arose after listening to Fireside Chat 177. Do you remember the subject of 177? That was a joke. Meghan knows a lot, but I don't think she knows all 221 subjects. You said that you do not allow compliments to go to your head so as to avoid allowing insults to go to your heart. I found this to be very wise advice, but it got me thinking about a balance— really bright people, I'm telling you, this is great stuff— we must maintain concerning what other people think. You have often talked about how you hope people benefit from what you have to say. How do you balance not placing too much significance on what others think, especially when it is human nature to seek validation from others, while still finding purpose in serving and connecting with other people? Thank you for all you do to bring truth to your listeners. God bless. This is a great question. First, let me repeat this line that I came up with for my own life so many years ago. I don't let compliments go to my head, and I don't let insults go to my heart. If you let one do its thing, that means the other will do the other thing. Neither is healthy, so just don't let either happen. I do believe we can control how we react to things. In fact, that's one of the only freedoms we really have is how freedom of reaction, because things happen to us that we can't control. We can control how we react. So yes, that is correct. Now, how do I balance affirmation from others, the natural tendency to want affirmation from others, with doing what I believe is right and not caring if it brings me friends or followers or what have you? Well, number one, You have to do what is right, not what will make you popular. That's true in high school, and it is true for the rest of life. If you if your number one aim is to be popular, you will compromise on virtually every value you hold. That be that's just the way it is because you're not following your values. You're following the route to popularity. So that, that's truly significant. Everybody wants affirmation from others. The question is, who is the others? In my case, being a public figure, I don't seek affirmation from the public. It's one of the reasons you watching take me seriously. You pretty much know I say what I really believe and not what I think people will applaud. If you see how much I'm attacked on the internet, you certainly would know how true that is. And that's the truth. That is the truth about me. But I will admit, I really do care about how the people closest to me in my life do react. That, that does matter to me. So you have to care about the people you respect. Which I presume are the, are people in your life and how they react. But you cannot live to be popular. You cannot be a good parent if you want to be popular with your kids. You cannot be a good teacher if you want to be popular with your students. You might be popular with your students if you're a good teacher, but you can't be a good teacher if you want to be a popular teacher. That's, that's the point. Or popular anything. That is the nature of life. Yes. Oh, by the way, you write it's human nature to seek validation. Listen, whenever I hear the term it's human nature, I immediately think, so what? It's human nature. Human nature is a troubling part of being human. Most of the time you have to fight human nature. David, 21 years old, Newtown, Connecticut. You have several times before, I guess, said that America has a lot less freedom today than when you were growing up and when your parents were growing up. Do you know what caused that? I think I do. Well, first of all, very specifically, it's the Uh, the growth of the left, not liberals. Liberals love freedom, uh, just like conservatives do. But the left has never, uh, valued freedom and they've never allowed it to exist. There's no instance of the left gaining power anywhere in any country or at any university anywhere and allowing free speech, for example, the most important freedom of all. There is not one example in, in history since 1917 And the Russian Revolution. The growth of the left is the single biggest reason. But there's that—that's even that doesn't fully answer your question. It is that parents after World War II did not teach their children the value of freedom. Freedom is not a human yearning. Freedom is a value. People yearn to be taken care of, not to be free, which is another factor for the demise of freedom. People have done the Mephistopheles trade. Mephistopheles is the devil in Dr. Faustus. It's a trade-off. You give me stuff. You the government, you the state give me stuff, and I in turn give you my liberty. There is no exception to that. The more the government gives people, the less free they are. The government controls more and more of people's lives the more it gives people. That's why the left wants an ever-expanding government and the right wants a diminishing government. You can't love liberty. And government at the same time. It's mutually exclusive. So the growth of the state is a major reason for less freedom. We'll take care of you. We'll pass more laws to keep you safe. We'll pass more laws to get you this and that and that and free college and, and free. But it's a cliché, but it's a true cliché. There are no free lunches. Whenever I hear something's free, tell me some— tell me what is free and doesn't come with a catch. You can't. Of course it comes with something. Somebody called you up and said, I just want you to know we have free land for you in Nebraska. Would you think that there was some hidden agenda? You'd be right. What's our story?

We're good.

We're good. Big stuff worth hopefully showing this to a friend. It would be worth showing this to a friend, one who agrees with you or not. Well, it's been a joy, and it is. This is very meaningful to me. It's why I haven't missed one in 221 times, and that includes going away, going to Europe, going to Asia. And going nowhere during, during COVID year. Okay, I'll see you next week. Who's in there today? Oh, Snoopy, you got Otto's bed. We got 2 great dogs. See you next week. Thanks for watching. Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. We want to take just a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the podcast. Go to lifeaudio.com to find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network, including shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.