God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle - Is This True?

Dennis Prager argues the saying "God never gives us more than we can handle" misquotes 1 Corinthians and isn't true or comforting. He uses the Holocaust and listener stories to show why the cliché fails those in extreme suffering, and defends reason as the path to belief in God.
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On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom, I'd like to challenge you with one today which may be upsetting to some of you. I don't mean to upset you, but I don't, I don't want people walking around with ideas that are so contrary to what I think is obviously true that it will ultimately hurt their religion and hurts religion. See, when religious people come out with, with ideas that a rational non-religious person hears and says But that's just not so. It doesn't help religion. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna challenge you with one that I, I have been told by many of you, both on air and of course by here privately: God never gives us more than we can handle.
That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager, and it starts right now.
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Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and To purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
Where was God? Isn't God supposed to be good? Isn't he supposed to love us? Does God want us to suffer? 10 years, you're not finished yet?
Marty!
Why did you do this to me?
Who are you?
Bruce, I am God.
Bingo!
Yahtzee!
Is that your final answer?
Our service has God!
Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing!
Well, it was nice to meet you, God. Thank you for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the apocalypse.
Okay, my friends, the Ultimate Issues Hour.
Each week, Tuesday, third hour of the Dennis Prager Show is devoted some great issue of life. You see, folks, it's terrific to concentrate on the issues of the day because we have to know what's going on in our lives.
But if we don't have a larger perspective on life, how do we know how to deal with any issues? It's not like we were— we were—
the world was just born. There is wisdom that precedes our time. Uh, that's my big argument with, uh, with what happens in our modern education. We don't give wisdom, and wisdom is usually greater thoughts than we might have at any given moment because we've had some smart people live before we lived.
Anyway, it's the Ultimate Issues Hour.
It's a very popular hour on the show, and I am going to challenge some religious people now. You know my belief, of course, and it's always good that you know where I'm coming from, or anybody knows where where anybody's coming from who has a microphone. And I believe that the death of the Judeo-Christian value system in the West has been a calamity. I am deeply religious in that sense. The system in the West has been a calamity. I am deeply religious in that sense, that God is the author of right and wrong. Without God, there is no right and wrong. There are only opinions about it. If God doesn't say thou shalt not murder, then murder is not wrong. You may think it's wrong, and I'm— well, I hope you do, but it doesn't mean it's wrong. You may think that car A is better than car B, but it doesn't make it true. There is only moral truth if there is a truth and moral truth giver that transcends us.
Having said that, I hardly believe that everything that every religious person thinks is necessarily either religiously accurate or simply makes sense.
I'm a big believer in rational religion. I, I do believe that rational people, actually the more rational they are, will come to God-centered understandings.
The idea, you know, what is the latest idea, by the way? I think the latest ideas are that life began on Earth by extraterrestrials seeding the planet.
Uh, the, uh, the great British genius, uh, the history of the time Stephen Hawking, I think now, has come to that tentative conclusion, as did some other— Fred Hoyle, I believe, was another astronomer, and I don't want to give the man a bad name, but I think that he too had come up with that idea, oh, about 70 years ago, that it was extraterrestrials spreading seeds on Earth because it's so— well, it's almost Twilight Zone-ish.
And the point is that I— it's so interesting that by excluding God as the possible creator, you end up being more irrational. That's what happens.
See, to me, reason leads to God.
It doesn't lead necessarily to any one religion, but it does lead to a God, the creator of Earth.
That a higher intelligence made intelligence is the rational view, in my opinion.
I would consider atheism to be irrational, and it certainly breeds irrationality. Now, having said all that by way of introduction, that doesn't mean that, again, every religious statement or every statement made by a religious person is rational or sustainable. And I'd like to challenge you with one today which may be upsetting to some of you. I don't mean to upset you, but I don't, I don't want people walking around with ideas that are so contrary to what I think is obviously true that it will ultimately hurt their religion and hurts religion. See, when religious people come out with ideas that a rational, non-religious person hears and says, "But that's just not so," it doesn't help religion. So I'm gonna challenge you with one that I have been told by many of you, both on air and of course by here privately. God never gives us more than we can handle.
Or in the positive, God gives us only what we can handle.
I have heard that very often, and I have to say that I never understood that. That may be true for some people, but I want to say that there have been horrible things that have been handed to people that they couldn't handle. The—
this argument holds that no matter what happens to a person's life, they can handle it.
And maybe that's true, but I— then, but, but then what does that mean? That means you cannot come up with any scenario that is quote-unquote unhandleable?
I mean, the, the horrible things that have been inflicted on people in the course of history through nature or through other people in every single instance it's something a person can handle, so then, uh, you might as well— you don't even need God then. Then what does the God part have to do with it?
Just say there's nothing— nothing ever has been doled out to anybody that they couldn't handle.
You don't need the God part.
So, I mean I beg people to handle the adversities of their lives.
I mean, I talk about that somewhat frequently, especially on the Happiness Hour. But I have to say that there are things that have been done to people. People have been tortured to death, and I don't think that it would be fair to go over to the person and say, well, God has given you something that you can handle. A person is burned alive, I, I, you know, while they are burning or watching their family burn. I'm sorry to bring such terrible things up, but these things have happened in great numbers in history.
And I just, I just don't know if that statement makes sense, or even to suggest that God is the one who brought it on them.
Why would I want to, why do, what I want to inflict on God? There was a a story near where, uh, near where I live just recently about some overturned big rig, and 4 children of a family were killed. The parents survived, 4 children were killed. You know, did God, did God cause that to happen?
Why do we saddle God with all of these things? Even that isn't—
doesn't seem to me to be a good thing.
Let us say the driver was drunk. I mean, I don't assume that, but let us say that.
Did God will the driver to be drunk?
I mean, you have to involve God here where God gets involved when we bring God in, but isn't necessarily the author of all acts. Now, there are people who believe that, and that's fine. But since I admit to having a profoundly rational bent, which is, by the way, I just want to say, while there are mystical elements to religion that I admit I don't relate much to, I, and I often envy those who do, I will admit that.
But on the other hand, I have been able to convince more non-religious people of the, of the goodness of good religion because I'm so rational. So it comes with a benefit.
It comes with a price too. Everything comes with a price. My rationality comes with a price.
And ironically, I'm the one who pays it because I would like to have some of these more mystical beliefs on occasion. But I, I have never reacted well to the statement, God never gives us more than we can handle. And again, you might as well say life never gives us more than we can handle.
Now, if you could say we could handle anything with God That's a different story. That's a different statement.
It's a statement of faith. Alrighty, and let's go to your calls. I'm open to being persuaded otherwise. I don't have any, any axe to grind on this except the, the act of being rational while being religious. All right, 1-800-DENNIS-PRAGER-776 is the number. And we'll go to, uh, Willets, Texas, and Lola. Hello, Lola. Dennis Prager, The Ultimate Issues Hour.
It's a pleasure to get to speak to you, Mr. Dennis.
Thank you.
I, I agree. I do. I hate that statement. I, uh, God blessed me with 3 sons, and they all had alcohol and drug problems, and I finally had to just place them in God's hands and trust him to take care of them. And this past November 3rd, my youngest son, 25, had drug overdose. But I— God has just given me this hope and peace knowing how good He is, how faithful He is. I know I can trust Him. And my oldest son's got 3 years sobriety now. So I'm just thankful that I do know that God is good and I can trust Him with those that I love. Right, so you, you're agreeing with me, or I agree that you, when you get to where you have so much that you can't control and do anything about, you can't let go and trust that God can take care of it.
All right, well, that's fine. And that's different from the statement that God gives us only what we can handle.
And, uh, given I, I, whenever I hear that, I wonder, do people know how much spectacular unjust suffering there really is in the world.
We'll be back in a moment.
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Hi everybody, the Dennis Prager Show, and a challenge to a lot of religious people here who have said, and I have heard this my whole life, and I, I never know how to react because I want people to get comfort wherever possible from the, the ubiquitous suffering in life. But what I do on the personal level, whereas I nod and I hug and I agree and I— the last thing I ever want to do is discomfort those needing comfort. I have a slightly different obligation when I feel that I have the microphone and I'm not talking to one individual whom I want to give a hug to and just help, comfort. I have the obligation to reason and truth as best as I can use either. So I have often heard, God will never give you more than you can handle. Apparently it, it is derived from a New Testament verse in 1 Corinthians: God is faithful and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it. That's a far cry from God will never give you more than you can handle. There are people who have undergone the worst horrors imaginable to a human and have in fact come out with their faith intact. Having devoted a lot of my life to reading about the Holocaust, The best records that we have are that the number of Jews who went into the Holocaust with faith and the numbers who went in without faith ended up the same. The numbers ended up the same after the Holocaust. I mean, people who have endured what is simply unimaginable to us, watching their children tortured to death, being experimented on without anesthetics. plus just the enduring daily torture and humiliation of life there, to the extent that there was life. Uh, apparently the same numbers came out with faith intact as who went in. In other words, some atheists became believers, some believers became atheists, and— but most believers stayed believers, most atheists stayed atheists. Uh, so the numbers were apparently the same. So I'm giving the worst-case scenario, obviously, and if, if the if the numbers came out the same. Indeed, that is— that apparently is true. People do maintain, or many do maintain, faith under the worst circumstances. I mean, what else do you have? But it's not the same as God will never give you more than you can handle. It is possible to have things beyond which people can handle. I mean, it's just— or Or one might as well just say life doesn't. Okay, let's go to Anne in Scottsdale, Arizona. Anne, Dennis Prager, hi.
Hi, how are you?
Good, thank you.
Nice to talk to you. I listen to you and I learn.
Good.
And I'm deeply religious as well. I'm a Christian, and I think that the statement that you've been talking about today is about the worst thing you can say to a suffering person. Who needs compassion. And I, you know, I think about Job, who was told over and over again by those who were supposed to be on his team, you know, on his side, "Oh, you brought this on yourself." I mean, that's not something people need to hear either. But my view is that this is a fallen world, and life happens, ugh, at a pace and with an intensity that can't always be endured. And the way I look beyond this and through it is with the forward-looking. Even you can see it in Job, in that the second half of his life was more blessed and better than the first. Not that he ever stopped hurting for his losses, right?
But there are many people who don't have a second half.
No, they don't.
They don't have a good ending.
But here's an even forward— more forward reach than that.
I agree with you.
My sanity— my sanity— my sanity depends on an afterlife. I admit it.
My grace is sufficient for you, not necessarily.
So tell us, why do you think— because this is an important thing from a religious person such as yourself— why do you think telling some people when the worst things are happening that God only gives you what you can handle is such an awful thing to tell them?
Because they feel that they're at the end of their strength and at the end of their rope, and they need compassion and comfort. They need someone who will come along beside them and let them know they're not alone, that they are loved with an everlasting love, and that God is there, and that you are in his name there to help them carry the load of grief and suffering and misery. And, and as a Christian, I say that Jesus died not only for our sins but for our grief and our suffering as well. He took it all upon himself, so he knows how you're feeling. He's been there.
Okay. All right, I thank you.
Uh, the— I, I, I will say I think she hit a point.
I would have given a different answer to my question, but I, I—
that's fine.
There's no right answer or wrong answer here. It's in this sense, it's really what works. But I, I must say that if I were enduring something extraordinarily horrible If I had lost my kids to a big rig knifejacked on the highway and somebody came over to me and said, "Just want you to know, God will never give you what you can't handle," I would want to punch the guy. I mean, maybe I will handle it and maybe I won't handle it, but the— but It almost sounds like it's not that bad, Dennis.
You'll never get anything you can't handle.
Well, you know, that may be true or may not be true, I don't know, but that raises the other question of, you know, what does God have to do with this? Why would God hand me that?
I don't think he would.
I think it would be the truck driver's fault, which is somewhat of a separate subject, but it's obviously related. I'm just saying I don't find that a comfort. I find it almost a challenge, like, what's wrong with you? Come on, God would never give you anything you can't handle. You know, my wife's sister, whom I never met because she died in her early 30s of horrific cancer, and one which was inordinately painful, would it have been very advisable to say to her, you know, in this staggering nerve pain that she was, that that you can't do anything about with any nerve-killing medicines.
Oh God, God would never give you anything you can't handle.
So what is she supposed to think, I'm a wimp? That's why I don't buy— I don't know where this serves a good purpose, theologically or humanly. I wouldn't want to be told that. If you can say, if you'd say to me, Dennis, you are a strong guy and it's better for you to live a life and you have I have a lot to give after this horrific, unbelievable, unfair tragedy. That's something, okay, that would embolden me. But it's almost like a challenge.
Hey, wimp.
God gave you something, you know, you can handle it. We'll be back in a moment. I'm Dennis Prager, The Ultimate Issues Hour.
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Hello everybody, Dennis Prager here, and this is the Ultimate Issues Hour, talking about an ultimate issue, and it is about an element of reacting to people who are suffering horrifically, and there are competing two goods when we react to people who are suffering terribly.
And they are what can make them feel better and what is rational and true. They may be in conflict. There are times in micro life, in individual life, where it is worth saying something that may not be true but is just important to be said at that time. There are times when it may be true and not worth saying. It's—
if there are competing goods here, I'll give you an example.
There's a great Jewish law that you are obligated to tell a bride at her wedding how beautiful she looks. Now, given that looks are not evenly distributed, which is its own question of theodicy. In other words, reconciling a good God with a just world. Because it is unfair how looks are unfair, given how important they are, especially in women.
It is unfair.
Now happily, that's the reason, by the way, I have always been pro-procedures. Whatever, you know, the plastic surgery and all in many of its variations. Can you go too far? Of course you can go too far. You can go too far in anything in life. But this notion of, well, this is the way I was born, has never appealed to me. It just doesn't make any sense. You don't like your nose, you want to change it, fine. I mean, do people go too far? Yeah. People become obsessive, yeah. Do some people look like their skin is the top of a smooth table? Yeah. But that's a separate issue. Anyway, you tell the bride she's beautiful.
You do.
Even if you don't think that. So if it comforts during a specific moment, my incredibly strong commitment to truth-telling takes second for that. But here's an example of something that I don't think is true and I don't think comforts, so I don't even know why it's used. Saying to somebody undergoing horrific tribulation, uh, God never gives us anything we can't handle.
I mean, it's neither true nor comforting. What's, what's the good of it? Parents have lost 4 kids to a drunk driver, you know, coming out, coming from a restaurant, lovely day together, and now they have no more children.
And you're going to say to them, God doesn't give you anything you can't handle? Now, you can say it's exactly at these moments that God is most with you. That's right.
That would be a fine response if you want to invoke God.
But it just drives me nuts, this thing. When I— I mean, it almost—
it's— it's—
I don't mind clichés, but clichés that are not true and not comforting, I do mind.
Okay, let's go to some of your calls here.
We'll go to Arthur in Ohio.
Hello, Arthur.
Dennis Prager.
I'm fine, thank you.
Uh, yes, you know, it's Um, one of those things that I don't— the Bible is one of the most misunderstood books that people read I've ever seen. One, when they speak of God, God and the devil get more credit for stuff they don't do than anything else, I think, on the planet.
I agree with you.
It's funny that you should say that. Go ahead.
But it said God says what he puts on you That's good, that's good.
But he may have not put that— but that's very good.
I had a fella, he— his family got killed in a car accident, and he had this thing about he didn't believe in God no more because how could God, uh, let that happen? And I just asked him a point question. I said, what car was God driving?
Hey, you know what, Arthur? I'm curious. What do you do for a living?
I'm a truck driver.
You know what, I, I give you— I give you my word When I talk about my show off, off the air to strangers, I tell them how many brilliant calls I get from truck drivers.
I give you my word of honor. Back in a moment.
This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.
We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
That's why what Angel is doing matters.
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Fauci, and RFK: Legacy. Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.
Sprout up like weeds. Can't tell what I want from what I need. Find a place in my head that's less wrong than right. No more living, living at the speed of light. Living at the speed of light.
At the speed of light.
You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show.
I think that the truck driver who just called has more wisdom than most of the professors I had at Columbia. No, I don't think, I'm certain. It was just a terrific call. I thank you for it.
I'm dealing with this subject which is worthy of its own— there are so many.
I mean, if there's any hour that I will never run out of subjects, it's the Ultimate Issues Hour. There are so many great issues in life. And talking today about an issue of a sentence that I have been told that I have never found comforting and I've never found rational. So it doesn't have anything going for it, in my opinion.
God will—
God never gives you anything you can't handle.
Telling somebody who is suffering horribly, I don't see how on earth it makes them feel better.
It certainly wouldn't make feel better, make me feel better. First of all, there's points being made by a number of callers is it's a distortion of a verse ultimately in the New Testament in 1 Corinthians which is about testing, and it's about God doing it.
And we don't know that God is necessarily behind every act that is in life, including those that are done by people. As the truck driver said, "What car did God drive?" If a drunk driver hits me, it's the drunk driver who was driving, not God.
Now, God enabled that to happen, That's a separate issue entirely. And then you can ask, well, why didn't God stop the drunk driver? But of course you get into a terrible problem then. Then why didn't he stop every bad thing from happening and then make us robots? So I don't have— that's not my— that's not an insuperable problem for me.
But I don't like clichés that don't work. Clichés that work are fine.
Haste makes waste.
That's true.
By and large, haste makes waste. You know, I'm not a cliché fan, but that's not harmful. This one might be. Okay, Rose in Argyle, Texas. Dennis Prager, hi.
Hi, Dennis. You are one of my favorite people.
Thank you for that.
Many times in the evening, my husband and I sit down and we talk about, uh, your radio show, so we really appreciate you. Yeah, the scripture in Corinthians is misquoted. It's really about being tempted by sin, and the Apostle Paul was telling us that there's no sin that God can't give us the strength to resist.
And so people misquote that, which is a far cry from no tragedy that you can't handle. That's it. One has nothing to do with the other.
Right, because if I didn't have any tragedies, my faith would be tested. And how could I be rewarded for a faith that's never tested? But I'll tell you why I think people misquote that verse. Unfortunately, we in America, we have a watered-down Christianity, and we try to create the God that we want— the God that answers our prayers, that protects our loved ones, that makes us wealthy and healthy, right?
The— what I call the celestial butler.
Right. And there's a saying in Asia, the Asian, the Asian Christians, they pray for God to give them a stronger back.
I love it.
That's right.
In America, pray for God to take things off of our back.
You're God telling you. See, this is— I sit here and I gush with pride over my listeners.
I just want to say that. And you know, I, I never patronize you. When, when I hear dumb calls, I say, folks, you've heard me say, is there a full moon out tonight?
That's, that's exactly right.
That's the prayer that makes sense to me. Give me, you know, give me strength. That's right, that's a good one. By the way, this all reminds me of, uh, of the value of the show, if you believe it is valuable. It's— I— if you're looking for a gift for Father's Day or graduation day from high school or college, I'm telling you, Prager Utopia, where people just get, uh, right every single day They download the show. It's inexpensive and it is a terrific gift for people. So go to, go to DennisPrager.com. It's called Prager Utopia. You get a lot more than the show, by the way, a lot more. Or call 800-225-8584. 800-225-8584 will include a gift subscription. In fact, for the right price, we'll include a new puppy. I've just made that announcement. They don't know this at the Prager store, but You know, you want a Basset Hound with it or a—
I met a dog the other day. What is Peanut?
He's a mix of a Chihuahua and was it, is it an English Bulldog?
This has to be—
you know what I love about dogs? Different dogs have different looks, right? Permanent looks, because they don't express on their face, they express with their tail. He's permanently serious. You have the sense that he's thinking— in fact, I think this dog is listening to this show and only this hour. He only listens to the Ultimate Issues Hour.
You know what? We have to do a show once, not on—
and it won't be an Ultimate Issues show— on one's view of animals. I mean it.
It's such a big issue in American life.
And why?
I have a theory. I do have a theory.
Women love animals more than men do. Men enjoy animals. Women love animals. That's my theory. And this is a big debate between Alan and his wife. Alan does not claim to love their cats, and every time he says it, his wife— well, Susie never goes ballistic, but as emote— as ballistic as his wife could go She goes, Alan does love his cats. And then we have this routine between them. We all, all the friends know it by heart, and there is no, uh, we have come to no conclusion by the end of that debate. Is that correct? And it will happen again and again and again. All right, in fact, Susie will probably call you right now and say, Alan, of course you love the cats, set it straight on the, on the air. So you may hear that from Alan when we come back, and you will know where it came from. From a call from Susie.
We return momentarily.
And a cliché that doesn't work on the Dennis Prager Show.
If knowledge hangs around your neck like pearls instead of chains, you are a lucky man. Takers and fakers and talkers won't tell you. Teachers and preachers will jump by and sell you. When no one can tempt you with heaven or hell, you—
No call from Susie. Wow. We wanted to say we evaded a bullet. What is the word?
We what? Dodge.
We dodged the bullet. You what? You like your cats. Exactly.
I—
it's really— we have— that's, that's a great—
I don't even know if it's meant just a regular hour. We have to do that. My theory— okay, very good. If he knows it's not his cat, so he's not emotionally reacting. So we're, uh, we're talking here in this final segment of the Ultimate Issues Hour. It's an hour you might want because Uh, again, to play for others. That's why we have Prager Utopia. Get any hour. If you just want this hour, call 800-225-8584. 800-225-8584. Got a lot of good ideas, by the way, for Father's Day and graduation. Meaningful stuff. The male sexual nature course that I've given. Happiness, the best of Happiness Hour is a whole— all the lectures. I mean, there's this— it's, it's a lot of good stuff. 800-225-8584.
This hour has been devoted to my finding it unhelpful to tell someone in horrible suffering, God never gives you anything you can't handle. It's, it's not correct.
It's not a correct citation from the New Testament, number one.
Number two, it doesn't make sense and it's not comforting. None of it. None of the thing— nothing about it. If you want to say, out of— eventually with God anything can be handled, that's a separate issue. But that's not what people are being told in the way that's phrased. And it's also like it almost makes the person feel guilty for not handling it. Hey, what's the matter with you? You're never going to be given anything you can't handle.
What's wrong with you?
You lost your 4 kids in a car crash. Cheer up, fella.
There are secular clichés, there are religious clichés, and I don't like most of them in either way. Listen, I gotta tell you, there were some terrific calls today. It, it, it does my heart good. Mary, Cheryl, Lisa, Bill, Darren, and Jason, folks from all over the country. I wish I could have taken your calls. Always feel free to email me, folks. I, I love hearing from you. And also to get your names for the Prager Rational Guard, which is our new subtitle for the Dennis Prager Action Committee.
Anyway, I really, really hope this has been helpful to you. What can we say? We'll do it again, we'll revisit.
What can we say to people who are really suffering? That's a good one. Thanks for listening. This is Dennis Prager.
Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom, we with Dennis Prager.
As a question that I've wanted to raise with you, if it applies to you or if you have experiences or thoughts on it, uh, and that I, I see periodically that fascinates me. And I'm coming at this from a number, a number of, uh, ways, from a number of directions. And that is high school love and high school sweethearts who marry, or high school sweethearts who don't marry.
Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.
We live in a time where the moment you question the narrative, you're told to stop thinking and start complying.
That's why what Angel is doing matters.
With eye-opening documentaries like Thank You, Dr.
Fauci and RFK: Legacy, Angel is willing to explore the issues others avoid.
In a culture shaped by gatekeeping Angel offers something rare, a platform for truth-seeking storytelling that isn't constrained by fear or conformity. Go to angel.com/prager, join the Angel Guild, and watch these films today.
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