Happiness Hour | Don't be a Martyr (Take Care Of Yourself)

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On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.

So I am going to talk to you today about taking care of you, which I have not done, believe it or not, to the best of my recollection thus far. And I would title this as Don't Be a Martyr.

That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.

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Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.

Here we go. It's the happy, happy, happy, happy hour. Yes, it is. It's the happy, happy, happy, happy hour. Hey everybody, welcome to the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show, the longest ongoing program on happiness in the United States of America, probably the world, the cosmos, the galaxy in which we live, the universe. Every week at this time— crank it up there, Sean, let's go! Every— yes, here we go! Yes, it is indeed. Well, my friends, every week at this time come hell or high water, frogs, lice, The smiling of the firstborn. Hail! It doesn't matter. We talk about happiness this hour because happy people make a better world. That's just the way it is, my friends. If you want to increase goodness in this world, increase happiness. That's correct. That's why we— that's among the many reasons we have a moral obligation to be, or at least to act, as happy as we can. We owe it to everybody in our lives. We owe it to humanity. And if you believe in God, you owe it to God.

It's—

that's how big it is. My evolution on this subject would be a fascinating subject. You know what? We ought to do that, Alan. I would like to, uh, I will do that one day on my talk on happiness, which you should get. It's the funniest talk I give, and it's really powerful talk. You get it through my office, one of the many talks that are on CD or tape. My talk on happiness, uh, I explain my evolution. I used to think that the pursuit of happiness was a selfish pursuit. Now I realize that the pursuit of happiness— not the pursuit of fun— the pursuit of happiness, uh, is one of the most altruistic things that you can engage in in your life. It is good for others when you're happy. For others. And I've been making this point for well over a decade Certainly, as long as I have been doing this and writing my book on happiness, which is titled Happiness Is a Serious Problem, as is the name of the lecture. You can get the lecture at 800-225-8584. 800-225-8584. Now, I got a letter here from a listener in Louisville. Eden Gassior. Dennis, I love your show. Listen and download as often as I can. I don't know if you've done this before, but I thought that a good topic for me would be how to be your own best friend or something like that. Ways that you could treat yourself nicely on a daily basis to keep your happiness level up. Because we can't be happy with others if we have perfectionist tendencies with ourselves. Well, Eden, I won't talk about the perfectionist part as much today. I will leave that for another time. But I will, I will talk about how to be your own best friend or something like that, as you put it, ways to treat yourself nicely on a daily basis. See, everything in life, everything is a middle road, everything. And it is very hard. The human being by nature is not a middle-of-the-roader, is not a moderate. By nature, we are extremists. Whatever we do, we tend to go toward the extreme. So that many people are just preoccupied with themselves. That's narcissism. And I've done a number of programs on that, where you're just preoccupied with you. And you can't be happy if you are. It is not possible. But if you are not sufficiently preoccupied with you, you also can't be happy. How do you like that? Now, yes, the greatest happiness comes from helping others, I agree, but happiness also comes from taking care of you. So I am going to talk to you today about taking care of you, which I have not done, believe it or not, to the best of my recollection thus far. And I would title this as don't be a martyr. There are a lot of people walking around who are martyrs, and I don't mean suicide terrorists. I mean martyrs too. They have given up their life for the sake of others and then wonder why it is that they're just not happier. These are martyrs A typical martyr is the woman who has given up her life for her children. There's a good example of, of a possible martyr. She has just, uh, there's no more her. She is now just a mother. Everything is for her kids. Now you know what happens? It leads to anger. Martyrs are not happy people. And remember, the subject of this hour is happiness. Not goodness, not kindness, not motherhood, nothing. It is happiness. And if you are a martyr and so perceive yourself, or even don't perceive yourself, but you probably will, you won't be happy. There is a great aphorism from the Talmud: The Talmud is the second most important work in Judaism, the first being the Hebrew Bible, the Old Testament. The next is the Talmud. In it, it's a huge— it's as large as the Encyclopedia Britannica. And in it, the tremendous amount of legal material and philosophic material and the like. And there's a lot of philosophy of life, whether the rabbis of the Talmud just debate each other and come up with ideas. One of the most famous aphorisms from the Talmud, from one of the leading rabbis of the Talmud, Hillel. And he came out with a very important statement, and I translate from the Hebrew because that's how I know it, so that's the reason you'll get a little delay here. If I am not, if I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? That's how he summarized how one's attitude to life should be. Let me just take the first two parts. If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? It's a perfect example of the moderate view. First you have to ask Yes, you have to be for you.

You do.

You have to be— you have to help you. You are obligated, even morally, you have to take care of you because nobody else will take care of you. If I don't, right? If, if I am not for myself, who will be for me? That's exactly right. That's why the martyr is not good, because the martyr is— it will still depend on somebody to take care of him or her. While he or she is giving over his or her life to others. So you have to take care of you. Now, I will offer you some simple ideas in this regard. Some of you may— will have even better ideas, perhaps. But we have to begin with the basic notion that you have to take care of yourself. You have to take care of your happiness. Now, if you, again, you're preoccupied with you, if I am only for myself, what am I? What are you? You're a narcissist. You're a failure as a human being, of course. But you have to begin with, if I am not for me, who will be for me? I have to be for me. I have to take care of me. 1-8-Prager-776 is the number. 1-8-Prager-776. Number 1. Is what I'm saying clear to you? In answer to this letter from Eden in Louisville, is it clear how to treat yourself nicely on a daily basis? You're, first of all, you're not a martyr. Now I'll give you some ideas, and if you have ideas or questions, again, the number is 1-8-Prager, P-R-A-G-E-R, 776. Do you know martyrs? I would like to hear from you if you know a martyr who has ended up unhappy and grouchy as a result. I believe that to the best of your absolute ability, every day you have to take some time to do just what you want. You must figure out a way to do it. What is it you— what will give you some pleasure? Will it be going for a coffee? Will it be talking to a friend? Will it be swimming? Will it be taking a nap? Will it be reading for an hour? Will it be— I don't care what, what, doesn't matter what it is. Could be utterly silly. It may be silly. Just you are your only concern for that hour. You have to figure out a way in which you can do it. Maybe it's only a half hour if life is that congested. But if you have no time for you, not only will you pay the price, but I promise, so will everybody around you. Because martyrs are ticked off, that's why.

All right?

That's why.

Why?

Because it mounts up. They do it with a smile for the first 10 months, 5 years, and then they kill you. So that's the subject of this hour on the Happiness Hour. We don't need martyrs. Take care of yourself. 1-800-DENNIS-PRAGER, 776 is 877-243-7777. 877-243-7776.

The Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show, and this is the Happiness Hour. Every week at this hour, I talk about happiness. I've written a book on it. And I have a lot to say about it, no kidding, otherwise I couldn't do this every week. The subject, it was a result of a great letter, and I want to encourage you, this is a great service to others that you can perform. If you have a question, keep it brief, like Eden Gassior in Louisville, please email it to me through DennisPrager.com. It's very easy, it says email Dennis here, you just check it off. And you email me if you have a question with regard to your own happiness or the happiness of someone you know. This is a terrific topic. She wanted me to, uh, speak about, uh, ways that you can treat yourself nicely on a daily basis to keep your happiness level up. And I'm beginning with the statement that you can't be a martyr. And I suspect there are more female martyrs than male martyrs, and it may be part of the greater amount of depression among women than among men. And, uh, I don't buy it. I don't buy this. I give my life over to my children or to my family and that's the end of my life. You know, you need to do something for you. And you know, I believe that a lot of people who, a lot of women, let's say, who have that attitude will not take that hour a day for herself because then she can no longer be a martyr. Now, there are men who have this too, but I think it's more prevalent among women. I may be dead wrong, and I have no agenda here. I couldn't care less if it's the same with each, with each sex, or, or more, or what have you. Doesn't matter to me. Whatever it is, it's not good. Not good. You have to— if im ain anili mili— you ought to remember it even if you don't know Hebrew. It's great. Im ain anili mili— if I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? I won't say that part. He will get you too confused. Alrighty, let's go to, uh, your calls here. If you got in, stay on. 1-800-PRAAGER-776. And let's go to Jacksonville and Yakov. Hello, Yakov. Dennis Prager.

Hello, Dennis. First of all, I gotta tell you, I really appreciate listening to your show here.

Thank you very much.

Actually, Friday afternoon making cholent. It's really a nice delight to listen to you.

You make cholent or your wife?

Actually, I do.

You do. Folks, for those of you who don't know, cholent is an East European Jewish dish traditionally eaten on the Sabbath. The reason that it is done is that it lasts till the next Friday. It stays in your stomach for about 6 days.

Yeah, I mean—

Go ahead.

All right, what's on your mind?

Anyways, I just turned you on and I can't agree with you more. I can't agree with you more. I grew up, there was a family member that I know, a relative, that his whole life was living for other people, was living for his kids, for his friends. He would buy himself a $100 suit and his kids $400 suits. He always particularly never cared for himself. And at the end of his life, he just felt so unappreciated and he turned into be very bitter because he felt—

Oh, what a great example. This is perfect, Yakov.

Perfect.

That he bought his kids more expensive suits than for himself. I could not have thought up a better example if I, I was given 2 months, right? And then of course you're right, and why am I like, my kids don't appreciate me. That's it. It's perfect, perfect.

And, and he ended up, he ended up having such a, such a strange relationship, right?

Because he expected from them commensurate thank-yous, a life devoted back to him. I bought you 4 times as expensive suits. What are you doing for me? Exactly. Yes, well said, well said. Thank you, Yakov. Keep cooking.

Okay, thank you.

All right, thank you. That is perfect. Oh wow, the number of parents who do that, you know, it so doesn't resonate with me. Of course the parent gets a better suit. What kind of nonsense is that? When the kid earns his money, he'll get $400 suits. What nonsense! It is total nonsense to think that way. And you think it makes the kid impressed? Uh, see, Martyr, the Martyr person like that, and I don't mean the real martyr in the best sense, I mean psychological martyrs, I mean the wonderful I mean, the spectacular folks who put their lives on the line to save us, our troops, our people, firefighters, policemen, and so on. I mean, obviously it's a different story. I'm talking about the psychological martyr. Alright, let's talk more here about this. And in Chatsworth, California, it's Nancy. Hello, Nancy. Dennis Prager.

Hi, Dennis. Hi. It's very nice to talk to you.

I've never called a talk radio show before.

Are you nervous?

I am.

No, that was a joke.

That was a joke. Great.

Um, it's funny, I just had a conversation with my best friend yesterday. She just returned from a trip, uh, from the Midwest, and she was calling herself a martyr because—

really? She was? She actually already used it? How old is she?

She's 42.

And why? Go on, why is she— why does she think of herself as a martyr?

Well, the rest of her family lives in the Midwest and her brother has 3 children, and he leaves his children every weekend with her mother, his mother, and she has 2 children of her own here, and so when they go to visit Grandma, my friend kind of overcompensates for trying to get her mother to pay as much attention to her kids as the other kids get throughout the year. So my friend just does everything around the house. She— her mother just put on a big neighborhood party and my friend did all the cooking for 3 days. During the party she was setting all the food up and getting all the different—

And why?

Why?

Just because she felt that she wanted her mom to have a good time, she wanted her kids to have a good time.

Right, so she does not know that she is equally obligated to give herself a good time.

Exactly.

Equally obligated.

Exactly.

Obligated is the key word.

No, exactly, she is. And she, she just said, after she told me the story about the party, how she was even trying to bring the food out, and she was opening the door and trying to shut the door, and her brother was standing right there with a drink, and he would just turn and look at her and then go back to his conversation. And she never said anything to him. She just went through the whole party doing all this stuff to make everybody else happy, and in turn made herself unhappy. And she, she had a terrible time, but everybody else had a great time.

Yeah, what's the deal? Is she less important?

Uh, sometimes I think she thinks so.

All right, well then, then she— again, this is a perfect example. I thank you, Nancy. Your debut on the radio was a 100% success. By the way, you know, I should tell you folks, I often marvel at the immediacy of your ability to start speaking as soon as I come to you, because I know it's nerve-wracking waiting. I do. In some ways, it's more nerve-wracking, your job, calling in and then being plucked out of the universe, than it is for me in the studio. 1-800-PRAGER-776. If I am not for myself, who will be for me? Yes, indeed, you gotta take care of yourself. But if you, if you're preoccupied with yourself, then you're a narcissist, and neither will lead to happiness. The narcissist cannot be happy because if you're preoccupied with you, you will have nobody who cares about you. We'll be back in a moment. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, the Happiness Hour.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

I hope that you have called during the breaks somebody to listen to this hour who might not otherwise be doing so, because this really is a classic example of where I do believe lives can be changed in this, in this hour. This is the hour on happiness each week on my show at this time, and it was prompted by a letter from a listener in Louisville. You asked about taking care of yourself, being nice to yourself, treating yourself nicely on a daily basis, and I'm talking about the person who walks through life as a martyr. The opposite, although I don't believe it's psychologically opposite, it's opposite in action, but it's not opposite in psychological roots to the narcissist. I think it's actually its own, it's almost a an odd form of narcissism, uh, because they want something from it, uh, or, or it may not even— they may not, but whatever it is, you will be unhappy. It leads to the same thing, even though the martyr may do more good than the narcissist. Uh, it leads to the same thing for the individual, and then it hurts others, because when— then you get bitter and angry. That's why the— that example from Yakov in Jacksonville was perfect. The guy, you know, bought always better things for his kids, and now he's an angry man that his kids, they're not reciprocating. See, 'cause come on, let's be honest, the way we treat others, we want to be treated. That's— and it makes perfect sense, and it's generally a good rule. But first of all, it is very rare that a child can give back to you in any event what you've given, and you don't want from a child back what you have given. God, I don't want to be taken care of by my children. Ooh, the thought just frightens me, gives me chills up my spine. I mean, if it has to be, it has to be, but that sure isn't what I want. That's the— my kids will reciprocate my taking care of them by taking care of their kids. That's how I, uh, that's how I look at that part of it. In any event, now obviously I hope they love me and, you know, enjoy being with me, but that's a separate issue. Yeah, the martyr. Uh-oh, I don't count, it doesn't matter me, I don't need to take time for me. Of course you do. You need every day, every day you figure out a way, you just figure out a way. I am going to take an hour for me. If it's to do my nails, if it's to get a facial, if it is to swim, if it's to do a crossword puzzle, if it's to read a book, if it's to watch something inane on TV, if it's to listen to music, if it's to take a nap, If it is to stare in the mirror and say, "Oh, what a wonderful person you are," I don't care what it is. If it's to play Spider Solitaire, it doesn't matter. You must take that time for you. Work it out. Make it possible, or you will eventually get real angry at the people you've martyred yourself to. 1-800-DENNIS-PRAGER-776. Kimberly. Kimberly in Highland, California. Hi, Dennis Prager.

Hi, Dennis. Um, thank you for the opportunity to speak on your show. Um, you remind me of a conversation I had about 18 years ago with a friend of mine. I just brought home my baby. Uh, sorry, I'm nervous.

That's all right, it's all right.

And, um, Anyway, I was sharing with my friend that— oh, first of all, I was formerly a competitive athlete, then I become this mommy, so I went from being—

you don't have the radio on?

I do. Is it too loud?

Well, it's going to drive you nuts because you're going to hear yourself a few seconds later.

Okay, I'm going in the bathroom.

All right, go into the bath. That's fine.

That's—

that may be—

if—

just don't flush.

Okay, I won't. And so I was a former competitive athlete, which I had that typical very me, me kind of attitude.

Right.

Then I shift to be a mommy. Ah, excuse me. And my friend had told me that during the time where I brought the baby home, I was kind of feeling guilty because I didn't want to feel so special spent like the other martyr examples in my life.

Right.

I didn't want to be like them.

Right.

And I was explaining that to my friend, and he says, Kimberly, think about it. When you get on the airplane— this guy is so cool, he's a Southerner, and they give advice through stories. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, and I know the one. Say it before the break, it's brilliant. Go ahead, go ahead. It's okay, you're doing great. Go on.

I'm so nervous.

I know, I know, I know. It's adorable. Go ahead.

And he says to me, Kimberly, when you get on the plane, when you're going to travel, and the instructions in case of an emergency, it says to you, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then assist your child.

I want you to know I cannot thank you enough, Kimberly, for that example. I cannot. It is the perfect example. Now you can leave the bathroom. You did a great job, and thank your Southern Friend, that is exactly what I'm saying. Put your own oxygen mask on first. Dennis Prager will continue. This is the Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show, the hour each week devoted to the subject of happiness. I'm Dennis Prager, and I'm talking to you about taking care of yourself. Many times I have spoken against narcissism, that if you're just preoccupied with you You cannot be happy. You won't make friends. I mean, that's the— that's, by the way, that is probably the, the best telltale sign if you want to know, because it's very hard for a narcissist to know that he or she is narcissistic. Uh, and do you bring people into your life who love you is a very good way of figuring out whether or not you're narcissistic. Because the narcissist will repel people. Not consciously, not consciously. It's, it's really, it's an illness, narcissism. I mean, it's, it's a psychological illness. It's not, it's not just a, it's not just simply a character flaw. It's really a problem for people. They don't know how to conquer it. But, and then many don't know that they have it. But I think that that's the perhaps one of the telltale signs. But on the other side, uh, and the origin psychologically may be similar, is the martyr who just has no self-preoccupation and does take no time to enjoy his or her life, gives it all over to others, and then eventually gets angry and sad and depressed And I, I have a feeling that this does afflict women more than men, this martyrdom, and it may be a factor in women's depression. Because you can't give and give and give and give and give and give and never give to yourself, uh, and, uh, and be happy. You can't. It's— we're not made that way. You have to, you have to do something for you. Now, if you— all your pleasure is derived from giving to others, that's fine. But it is not, it is not the way it normally is. You still need time for you. Take an hour a day if you can, and if you can't, you have to figure out why you can't. What is— what has happened? What has happened? 1-800-DENNIS-PRAGER-776. 1-800-DENNIS-PRAGER-776. And in Rancho Santa Margarita That's, that's a handful, I'll tell you. It's a mouthful. Regan, hello Regan, Dennis Prager.

Hi Dennis, how are you?

Okay, thanks.

Um, just wanted to, uh, agree with everything you're saying about the, uh, martyrs not being happy. Uh, my wife and I just had triplets 3 months ago.

Oh wow.

And, uh, she was on bed rest for, well, maybe about the last 5 months or so. And, uh, so she had to absolutely sacrifice all that she is for the health of our kids.

That's right, that's a good point.

But in talking through all that, I just graduated with my clinical psychology degree. So once we had the kids here, we set up a plan of church friends and family to come and help us so that Jen could, uh, my wife could have a time to herself to go to the pool, to take care of herself, go for a walk. Yes, work on muscles that— I mean, she went through atrophy and she's having difficulty just walking around the block right now. So it is absolutely true, and we have— you—

so you worked in preventative therapy?

Yes.

That was— that's brilliant what you did, because you're right, she was giving up her life for the health of the, of the kids.

Absolutely.

Yep, that's a wonderful example. I thank you very much. 1-800-PRAGER-776. I gotta remind you of that great motto from the nervous woman: who was just, as I said, adorable. And, and that is, you put on your own oxygen mask first. I love that. I can't tell you how much I love that analogy. It is so beautiful because this is oxygen. This is oxygen to take time for yourself. You— that is, that is how you can You can live, and you need that, you need that time for yourself. I am leaving— if you're the mother and you have this martyr thing— I am going out to exercise just to pamper me. A, exercise brings endorphins, so I'll be happier. B, I'm away from the kids and the house for that hour. I mean, that's just one example. And you figure out a way to do it. Or if you want that 1 hour to be with your husband or whatever it is, I mean, that's another issue. That's a separate issue. Well, it's related, but it's separate. Uh, Warren, Michigan. Warren, Michigan. Eric, hello Eric. Dennis Prager.

Well, hi Dennis, and thank you for allowing me to be on your show. I hope I actually get across the point that I'm trying to make and I don't choke on my own words here.

Okay, let's try.

Okay, um, I would submit that the reason that those people aren't happy is because they're actually selfish martyrs. They're, they're not doing what they're doing because they're motivated by love, but they're trying to feel good about themselves by doing what they're doing. And I, I do know somebody—

yeah, well, that is— yeah, that's why I said the genesis may be the same for both, for both The origins, the psychological origins may be the same for narcissism and martyrdom, but they're expressed in opposite ways.

And then at the end of their life, when all those people that they've helped are gone, then they're the most miserable people.

Well, yeah, well, and because others may not martyr themselves for you. It doesn't work. It's not going to work reciprocally. It just isn't.

And if I could say something, when I was a younger man, an older friend taught me something that has always stuck in my mind. He said this to his children one time when I was in the car with them and they were making demands of him. This is a man that loved his kids and did things for his children and in many ways lived for his children. He turned around to them and he looked at them and he goes, "Hey, He goes, be quiet. He goes, you're just along for the ride. And then he laughed. And the point he was making was, I love you and appreciate you and do, do many things for you, but the bottom line is you're a part of this family and me and your mother aren't going to sacrifice our lives for you.

That's the right— that's correct. That is exactly right. I mean, look, parents sacrifice and must a lot. That is part of being a parent. You know, it's very— it's ironic. People go from narcissism, which is often young and single, where everything revolves around yourself, and it's almost like the pent-up energy of altruism, and then become martyrs. So maybe when you're young and single, you shouldn't live just for yourself, and maybe when you have kids, you shouldn't just live for them. We'll be back in a moment.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

Alrighty everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, the Happiness Hour, final segment here. And you can get in— a lot of people just gave up— 1-800-PRAGER-776. Let's go to Patty in Downey, California. Patty, Dennis Prager, hi.

Hi, Dennis.

Hi.

I'm hoping my phone is working. Um, hello?

Yup. Hello.

Yes, I'm hoping my phone is working.

Okay, and we hope so too. Go ahead. Okay, I guess it isn't.

Too bad.

Okay, let's go to, uh, Collingswood, New Jersey, and Gus. Hello, Gus. Dennis Prager.

Hi, Dennis. How you doing?

Okay, thanks.

First-time caller. Uh, I'm a red voter in a hopelessly blue state, but I'm still maintaining my happiness somehow. Okay, uh, listen, I, I, uh, I love your show, but I, you know, the last caller kind of stole, uh, some of what I was, uh, going to discuss. I wondered how you thought about that. Do you think some of these self, uh, these, these martyrs are really looking for self-worth or recognition or accolades from other people? I mean, that, that seems to be my gut feeling. Uh, I have, uh, a couple of church friends who seem to burn themselves out, but they just love to see their name And I think this is a tragedy in some churches, that they publish who's doing what, and they kind of give great applause to people who are constantly giving.

No, I believe in giving applause to people. I think that people who work hard should be given credit, absolutely. And if people are working hard for the church in order to get credit, well, it certainly beats their not working hard for the church and not getting credit. The community has benefits from that, and that's one of the reasons we give them awards. I don't have a problem there, but, but if they— it, the bottom line is, are they happy?

Right. And I think there's a balance somewhere, and I agree with you. I don't, I don't disapprove of credit given where credit is due, but I think some folks tend to go overboard in looking for the credit.

That may be, that may be, but that's a separate issue because my issue is happiness, not not the issue of, you know, looking for credit or not, although they're related, I understand. Let me summarize this by saying the larger theme here. As I, as I get older in life, the more I believe that happiness is our psychological report card. When you're at school as a kid, you get a report card. This is the grade you get in this, this is how well you're doing in this or in that. And The people who have, who navigate life well are happier, independent usually of their circumstances. So if you're unhappy, and I don't mean on any given day or over one given event, but as a chronic problem, then it is worth asking, asking, what am I doing wrong? Doesn't make you bad, but what am I doing wrong? Today the venture was into being a martyr. If I am not for myself, who will be for me? This is the Happiness Hour. On tomorrow's episode of Dennis Teaches the Torah: So he took hold of his father's hand to move it from Ephraim's head to Manasseh's. Not so, Father, Joseph said to Father, for the other is the firstborn. Place your right hand on his head. But his father objected, saying, I know my son, I know. He too shall become a people, and he too shall be great, yet his younger brother shall be greater than he. You always wonder if the kid is hearing this. No, it is a little disconcerting. I mean, I am certainly not into the self-esteem movement, but this is ridiculous.

This is—

you don't want to exactly shatter your kid's ego. I mean, it is one thing to have kids all get up at the school auditorium and go, "I am wonderful, I love myself," and it's quite another to say in front of them, "Well, the reason I'm switching hands is because this one's greater than the other one." They spoke Yiddish so the kid wouldn't understand. Excellent. That is excellent. That's for posterity. That is absolutely right.

Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. We want to take just a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the podcast. Go to LifeAudio.com to find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network, including shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.

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