"Having Liberal Friends," Best of Dennis and Julie

I was at a Rosh Hashanah dinner at a, one of my friends' moms invited me to their, what do you call it, Seder?

That's the Seder.

That's Passover, okay, sorry.

No, no, Rosh Hashanah meal, yeah.

Yeah, Rosh Hashanah meal, and their family is liberal. They know I'm conservative, they're very kind to me, which I very much appreciate, but they had many dinner guests, and all of them were left-wing Democrats. And the whole, the entire dinner conversation was about Trump is evil and thank God that there are certain Democrat leaders. Did you speak up? I did, but the point was there were times in the dinner when I was angry. This is the comment I have to leftists. I'm going on a tangent, but it's relevant to this. Sometimes when people say to me, I'm repulsed by your beliefs, or often on the internet, they don't have the courage to say it in person, my response to them is, As repulsed and reviled as you are by my beliefs, I can promise you I am just as repulsed and reviled by yours. But I actually have manners and I'm not going to troll you on the internet or resort to ad hominem attacks. I'm going to argue based on the merits of my positions. But I just wanna make that clear. We conservatives are always so much on the defensive because we're having the vitriol spewed at us. We are just as repulsed by them as they are by us, but we actually have manners. So, so—

Right. But they're shocked to find out that we dislike Biden as much as they dislike Trump. Exactly.

But we don't, we don't make that clear. And I'm not saying that we should resort to their pettiness, but I think that in a dignified way, we need to remind them of that, that it's not just one way because we're always so much on defense. But anyway, at this Rosh Hashanah dinner, there were times when I was very uncomfortable where, you know, one of them at the dinner was talking about gender-affirming care. And I think gender-affirming care, especially for minors, is one of the moral atrocities of our time. And so I'm just trying to paint a picture, especially for leftists listening, that again, I was uncomfortable by things that they were saying, as they would have been if I were talking about my conservatism. But you know what I realized? I'm a guest in someone's home. When I am stepping into someone's home, it's their rules. I knew what I was getting into. They're liberal, they have every right in their home to talk about every liberal left-wing issue to their heart's desire. And if I agree to come, and if I'm a good guest, I shut up.

I hear you.

Or if I challenge—

this is a very interesting discussion in and of itself. So you are a regular guest at the Shabbat dinner that I attend virtually every Friday night, and virtually the whole crew is conservative, which is rare for Jews, but it is the case. I want you to know this. This will you'll find of interest in light of what you just said. If I knew that someone of the left were attending the dinner, I would ask the group not to talk politics. I would want them to, to feel good and comfortable.

Totally. I do.

I mean, so no, no, you were saying it's their home. They could talk about whatever they want. That is, that is a very fair statement. But I'm giving an example of our home. It's sort of like my home because, you know, I'm sort of the inviter of, of a lot of the people who come. But I, I don't want to subject, especially not because just of the, the comfort issue, especially because of the number issue. There are a dozen of us and one of them, right? And it's not, it's not right.

Well, you have manners. And again, the definition of manners is making other people feel comfortable.

That's right.

And when I was at that Rosh Hashanah dinner, Again, there were, most of the people there didn't know me, I didn't know them, and they said to me, oh, Julie, what do you do? And by the way, I just wanna make something clear. I am very proud of what I do. I never hide it.

Good, so what did you say?

Well, I actually, that's actually a little dishonest. When I say I never hide it, I never want to hide it, but there are times when I know how to package it differently. And so at this dinner I said, I work in media.

All right. And that's all you said?

And they go, oh, what kind? And I said, you know, political talk radio.

And that's— that was it.

And they moved on. I—

it's painful to me that you didn't say, among other things, I do a podcast with Dennis Prager.

But you know why I didn't do that?

Because it would have ruined their meal.

It would have ruined— and I didn't. That's why I didn't.

They would have lost their appetite.

Probably.

Left-wing Jews did not have pictures of me in there.

Well, you know what's funny, Dennis? Oh God, I want to remember what's funny. Bingo! We have Dennis and Julie Bingo, and one of them is whenever we forget something. Damn, I just forgot my point. Oh, it's happened to both of us, and we're—

don't blame me.

Well, it hap— I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying it happens to you too.

Of course, happens to everybody.

For those who don't have Dennis and Julie Bingo, you gotta get it. Um, damn, what was it? It was funny.

Well, wait, the, the point was about why you didn't mention that you have a podcast with me.

Yeah.

So was it— it'll come to you.

It'll come back. But, oh, but you know, this is not, this is not the point, but this is not the thing that I'm remembering. But my point was the reason why I didn't do that was because I knew it would make the people at the table uncomfortable. And it's not that I'm ashamed of what I do, but I know, I know that.

Well, that's interesting.

I didn't really, for the hosts I didn't want to, for her sake, I didn't want someone to go, oh, well you are good.

My view is, well wait, they didn't know you're conservative?

No. Oh, I remembered what it was. So many liberals, I've been at these dinners with a lot of liberals before, and they love me. And I so badly want to cut in and go, I'm conservative, by the way. Right, of course. Their reaction. I want to say, remember how much you like me right now and your impression of me will be undone in a moment, including at this dinner. Like, like halfway through, this woman turned to me and she's like, you're so funny, you're such a, you're such a fun person to sit next to. And after listening to her opinions for the past 30 minutes, I wanted to be like, you're not.

If you knew where I stood politically, you'd hate me. You're not fun to sit next to, right? Okay, so wait, so at no point then you did you speak up? I asked you that earlier.

Oh no, I did, but I was—

I was very soft. Yes, I see.

I, I don't— I will never pretend like I'm liberal when I'm not.

Yeah, no, no, I, I know that.

I'm not gonna change their minds.

You're not. You know, that is correct.

It would just ruin the dinner.

You're— that's fair. However, given my notoriety, especially among Jews— yes, it would have been fascinating if you even did it with a smile Well, since you asked, I can't— I can't lie, and I have a feeling you'll find this fascinating. I do a weekly podcast for an hour and a half with Dennis Prager. There would have been silence, maybe some moaning. I'll tell you what there would not have been.

Who was among that group?

Yes, exactly. But anyway, it's because they got to like you. You're a young woman here, and it just—

I—

none of this has to do with me or ego or any nonsense like that. It is just a fascinating human question. How the group— so I'm the way, by the way, the way I answer all these questions, it's— people should hear this because it's a fantastic way to govern your life. I instinctively, I mean within a nanosecond of taking a position, I always ask, well, Dennis, what if the shoes were on the other feet? What if the tables were turned? Or whatever cliché one comes up with. In other words, let us say I, at one of my Shabbat dinners with all these conservative Jews and non-Jews who come out and somebody visiting, a young woman was visiting and we didn't know her for what, you know, she was the cousin of somebody last week, huh? Oh, no, no, no.

I just think— an actual person.

No, no, not at all. I'm giving a—

I was like, she was a liberal. Yeah.

No, there was, there was no such thing. But let's say somebody was there. We did— none of us knew her, like, like the case with you, just the relative of one of the participants. And the person was— turned out to be on the left.

Mm-hmm.

And so if that person would say, you know, as it happens, Uh, give me a— give me some, uh, Joe Scarborough.

Is he Young Turks?

Yeah. Oh, oh God, that's okay. That would be difficult. But nevertheless, because they're just not nice, it's not a matter of—

right—

that I differ with them. But it doesn't matter. Lauren, the Young Turks or Joe Scarborough or CNN. Morning Joe. Well, CNN is, is, is not as left as those things. In other words, how would would we react? I think we would react with fascination. We, we would want— we would have wanted the young woman to speak up and talk.

So, but you maybe correctly inferred this will make them uncomfortable, going back to reading the room. And I know, I, I know I was right. If I had really come, and by the way, if they had pressed further, I wouldn't have, I give two general answers and then my rule is the third time I'm coming out with it.

And so, how about the H-bomb?

Yes, well, no, I have a theory about the H-bomb. You have to come out with it. You can't go up to someone and go, hi, I went to Harvard. I never do that, but if someone asks you where you went to school, you do not say Massachusetts, Cambridge, Boston. You say Harvard.

Okay, that's fair.

But then again, you're damned because it looks worse if you're trying to conceal it.

That's right, it's a good point.

With regard to this job, and trust me, I have been in many situations where I've had to perfect this practice, I have a rule. If it's in an environment where I know people will be made to feel uncomfortable or get antagonistic, time 1, I say media, time 2, I say radio, talk show hosting.

Question 3.

Question 3, I'm out with it. I'm not gonna hide it. But, you know, so I, having gone to college with 99% of liberal people, I'm very used to being in the position as the one that you just described, where someone says, I'm working for, you know, AOC this summer, or I'm working for XYZ. And I actually was recently— saw, ran into a former classmate, and I said, oh, hey, nice to see you. What are you doing these days? And she said, well, I am actually working at the White House. For the communications team. And you know what I said? And by the way, I hate President Biden. I hate him. I hate the Biden administration. I think they are ruining and destroying the country. But you know what I said to her? I said, good for you.

Good for you. Exactly correct.

Okay, well, right. I'm not gonna say, oh, that's, you know.

Yeah, I think you're helping people ruin the country.

Yeah.

Right.

And I'm not gonna fake like I'm super happy for her.

That's my point. I think that I reversed— remember, I want to make it clear what I said. You were sensitive to the fact that if you said, I do a conservative podcast, or even worse, I do one with Dennis Prager every week, that it would have caused palpable reaction, discomfort.

Yes.

So But it's not correct the other way around. If there was a guest at our table of conservatives on Friday nights, a young woman exactly like you, but on the left, we would be fascinated if she said, oh, I work for the Biden White House. We, we wouldn't be offended. We wouldn't be hurt. We wouldn't lose our appetites. We would just go, tell us about it. And we wouldn't attack the person. So I think we can handle this better than they— they would have been, I think, upset.

Well, again, that's what you think. Yes.

I mean, that's your point.

I know. I mean, I know they would have been upset, but it harkens back a little bit to what I was saying earlier, where on the left it is an obligation and a responsibility to get outraged. That is the way that we are taught to fight alleged bigotry or racism or whatever antiquated thought, wrong thought.

6 terms: sexist, intolerant, xenophobic, homophobic, Islamophobic, racist. Exactly.

We are taught if you don't get upset, if you don't get loud, if you don't get combative, then you are legitimizing the bigotry and allowing the bigotry to exist. On the right, and I have said this many, many times on the show, but it can't be said enough, I am right-wing on many, many issues, obviously, but there are some issues, abortion being one of them, where I get very, very conflicted, and I am at times sympathetic or understanding of the left-wing view. I have guest hosted your show countless times. I have said on your national radio show as well as on Dennis and Julie that I am conflicted on the issue of abortion. I have never once gotten a mean nasty cancel culture email from any of you.

Or has anyone asked Salem not to have you on?

No one ever.

Salem said, Salem has never run by evangelical Christians.

Never ever. And they deserve enormous credit for that, among other things. They have never told me what to say, what to think.

And Larry Elder is one of the heroes of Salem Radio for years. And he's for same-sex marriage. And everybody knows it.

But I tell people that on the left, I go, 'cause they especially think like your audience are super right-wing nutbag, they have this crazy distorted view, but your audience is not crazy right-wing nutbag, but they are right-wing and they are mostly pro-life and deeply committed Christians. And I tell that all the time, that abortion thing. And I say, again, like, doesn't this say something to you about the state of conservatism or the right in America that I can go on one of the most popular national radio shows in the United States with millions of listeners and feel comfortable saying that I'm conflicted on the issue of abortion and I've never been canceled for it. It really is amazing. Now, I've gotten emails of people saying, hey, Julie, I heard you say this. I got one actually this morning from someone saying, I want you to reconsider. Here are some videos I'd like for you to watch. But it's always so conciliatory because on the right, if someone disagrees with us, we try to win them over based on the merits of our argument. And I think we have a greater view that disagreement is OK, and it's what makes our country our country. On the left, if you don't shout people down, you are somehow legitimizing bigotry. How did we get off on this thing? I know it's the general discussion of manners and— oh, I was talking about the Rosh Hashanah dinner.

Yeah. Oh yeah, that's how we got onto that specifically. But back to the, the original thing was who causes the tension at the holiday table? Why would you do that? So you'll like this. I wonder— I, I know I've said this to you privately, and you'll know if I've said it publicly.

Yes, I'll know what episode, I'll know what time in the episode, the day we recorded the episode, the day the episode was aired.

So have I told you what I, what I actually said to my daughter-in-law one, one time on the phone?

No.

Oh, well, you might. I hope you don't. I want— I hope it's the first time I'm mentioning this. So I was talking to my wonderful daughter-in-law My oldest son's— I have two daughters-in-law. My older one, and she's been my daughter-in-law much longer than, than the younger one, for obvious reasons. So I was telling her, you know, I want you to know what I want to be in your and David— David is my son— in, in your and David's life. I want to be easy.

You said that— I'm sorry, go on.

Go on. What? No, I've said it before. I don't know if I said it on Dennis and Julie.

You said to me recently— no, I don't think so. You said it to me privately, but not on this show. You, you did say to me privately recently that the one of the best gifts that you can give to people is being an easy presence in their lives.

So that's what I wanted to say.

And I—

this—

that made a big impression on me. You're totally right. I have left-wing people in my life who I— but, but they're easy. And that makes all the difference.

Yes. This is not necessarily political.

No, no, no.

Right. It just—

I only said left wing because I keep—

It is one of the great ambitions a human should have that I bring calm wherever I go.

Thank you so much for watching. And as I said earlier, you can always email me at julie@julie-hartman.com. I hope to see you soon, and of course we hope so much that Dennis will come back to this chair sooner rather than later. But in the meantime, please continue your prayers and know how deeply we appreciate them. Take care, I'll see you soon, and shalom.