How To Have Fun (No Alcohol Required)

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On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom, that's today's topic: sober fun.

I, for the grace of God, have been sober for 43 years.

How old are you now? How old are you now?

I'm 67. So I drank all through college, right?

Exactly. So 24, you became sober.

Okay.

Correct. Yep. And what I've discovered, it's the most important thing, is you have to find internal peace first. And then I drank for that enhancement. You know, there's a line in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when, um, I think Elizabeth Taylor says to Paul Newman, why do you drink so much? And he says, well, I'm trying to get that click. Well, you only get that click the first time you get high, or like you said, the first time you have sex, the first time you do drugs, and then you're trying to chase it ever thereafter.

That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.

If you're eating less, staying disciplined, and the weight still isn't coming off, the problem may not be your effort. It may be your metabolism. After years of stress, dieting, and lack of sleep, the body adapts. It slows down and holds on to fat. That's why PhD Weight Loss focuses on your metabolism first, so your body stops working against you. Mention Prager today and receive 2 free weeks plus free food, a $1,500 value. Call 864-644-1900. That's 864-644-1900.

Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.

It's the happy, happy, happy, happy hour. Yes, it is, ladies and gentlemen. The Happiness Hour, every Friday the 2nd hour. No matter what— hail, smiting of the firstborn, frogs, lice, vermin, blood, leftism— no matter what. All right, y'all, join me. It's the happy— uh-oh, uh-oh, I went too fast. Uh-oh, I went too fast. Yes, everybody, it's a dark time we're living in, but you still have to be happy. I know it sounds contradictory, but what is your choice? To be unhappy? First of all, you give the bad guys a victory. They would be more than happy to know they made you unhappy. Secondly, what good does it do? It's a— it I mean, if you can only be happy in good times, doesn't say much for the power of happiness. So I am adamant about it, and I've never missed a Friday that I've been on. I mean, some Fridays I'm off, obviously, but I would say 48 out of 52 Fridays a year since 1999 I've done the Happiness Hour, because the happy make the world better and the unhappy tend to make it worse. That's the way it works. I have a great topic for you today, and I rarely have a title. So Sean, if you keep— who keeps the sums? You do, right? All right, so here it is: Sober Fun. That's today's topic, Sober Fun. My son is very open about it, my second son, who was born to a very heavily drug-addicted birth mother. His late mom and I adopted him the day he was born. As I have no— I attach little to no significance to blood. It has never meant anything to me. He's my son, period, from the day he was born. And I have one biological son whom I adore as well, obviously. Anyway, the, uh, he was— he battled alcohol and drugs for a good chunk of his youth, and he's been sober now, I think, by— I think 5 years, is it? And he said to me something when he first began to be— his sobriety— that he couldn't imagine having fun while sober. And that was a revelation to me, and it opened my eyes to the fact that The idea that you could have fun in life and be sober is in fact not a popular idea among many people. You don't have to be an addict to worry that you can't have fun if you're sober. This, uh, this issue arose in my latest Dennis and Julie podcast. It'll come out on Monday. Parts air on the Salem News Channel this weekend. To see all of them in their entirety, go to the Dennis Prager Show on YouTube. Again, we have to have a link at DennisPrager.com. It's a little silly that we don't. I'm telling you though, these, uh, this hour to an hour and a half that I do each week with Julie Hartman is very powerful stuff. And it's— it brings out things in me that, even though I'm very open on the show, I— are parts of me that I just— I would never have mentioned. Not because I want to hide it, but because it's not brought out of me as she does. And likewise her. It's, it's a, it's remarkable. It's called Dennis and Julie. And this, this notion of can you be sober and have fun is a very, very big one. It's, it's not only the addict who thinks it's impossible. A lot of people think it's impossible. I remember in college when kids would say, my peers would say Oh man, when you, you know, when there's nothing like sex when after, you know, on marijuana, or when you're, when you're high on something, whether it's alcohol or a drug. And I remember thinking, wait a minute, you, you need something to enhance the fun of sex. You gotta— I couldn't believe it. Like, it isn't fun enough? You needed an enhancer at 22 years of age? I didn't realize what I was confronting. The belief that you can't have fun if you're sober. That's really part of what— that approach was a manifestation of that thinking. I have to be high on something. Could be gambling, by the way. It's not necessarily a drug or alcohol, but high— those things are what really make life exciting and fun.

It—

a lot came together in talking to Julie about this notion of sober fun. It actually arose in a very small way. She was at my house with my wife and me, and she came over to my desk to see what I was looking at on the, on the internet. It was, for whatever reason, it was apparent I wasn't working. As I say to you, I take a vacation every day. So she comes over to the computer. You'll get a charge out of this. What do you think I was looking at?

Stereo something.

Very, absolutely a coherent response. Something audio equipment. I was looking— I'm almost embarrassed to say— I was looking at different inks. I told you folks, I'm really into fountain pens. And the variety of colors that were available with a certain brand, and many brands, She— so she came over and she looks and sees on the screen all these colors of fountain pen inks. And to my great joy and amazement, she found it fascinating. Just fascinating.

And I—

we spent quite a while on these various screens. And she's fallen in love with writing with a fountain pen anyway. And now that she sees, oh my God, all of these varieties, it's almost an infinite variety of colors, which is half the fun of fountain pen writing, is choosing the color ink you have. It's not something you can do with a ballpoint pen. You got a big choice in most ballpoint pens between blue and black. But here it was infinite. She saw a pink that she fell in love with.

Not—

it was not my personal favorite for sexist reasons, but anyway, it wasn't. But it was beautiful in its way. Absolutely. Pink's a beautiful color. And that's what hit her. She said, you, Dennis Prager, you have a lot of sober fun. And I always did. That's why I have recommended on the Happiness Hour hobbies. Hobbies are the perfect example of sober fun. And there's been an absolute decline in hobbies. What does this— what does the youngest generation today do for hobbies? I hear very often video games. I'm not sure that that qualifies. It might. That, that, that's amusement. I don't think that's a hobby. I think it's amusement. Anyway, how do you react? Do you, you hear what I'm saying on the need for sober fun? It's a better life. Has that been a battle in your life? 1-8-PRAAGER-776. 877-243-7776. The Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

If you're eating less, staying disciplined, and the weight still isn't coming off, the problem may not be your effort. It may be your metabolism. After years of stress, dieting, and lack of sleep, The body adapts. It slows down and holds on to fat. That's why PhD Weight Loss focuses on your metabolism first so your body stops working against you. Mention Prager today and receive 2 free weeks plus free food, a $1,500 value. Call 864-644-1900. That's 864-644-1900.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

Hey, I'm just an old chunk of coal, but I'm gonna be a diamond someday. I'm gonna grow and glow till I'm so blue, pure, perfect. I'm gonna put a smile on everybody's face.

Hi everybody, Happiness Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. Sober fun is the topic. So, Rick, may I mention you in the context here? So Rick, who works on the show next to Sean, periodically punches Sean to make sure that Sean stays on the straight and narrow.

It's sober fun.

Sober fun for both of you, which is a beautiful thing. Anyway, Rick was like, like my, uh, one of my sons, was addicted for many years as a kid. And he came in to say to me, that's exactly what he feared, could not imagine getting sober and still having fun. But these are not the only— it's not only addicts, the I told you about how many kids my age, in my 20s, would say, oh yeah, you know, if you have sex, you should really, uh, get high first, and then it's really intense. Like, sex in your 20s needs an enhancement. It's not enough. And the pursuit of The, the adrenaline rush, or whatever the chemical description would be, is a very big one today. I guess one way of putting my message here on this Happiness Hour edition would be that one should try to get high on life. Which I think is very possible. I mean, there is so much available that maybe I'm built differently, but I, I don't, I don't think it's that different. The, the rush that I feel with music, for example, Now, my, my, mine is classical music, but yours may well be another type of music. That does— that doesn't provide some, some sort of quote-unquote high music. A sober high is, is being with friends. I have a sober high every week in my Sabbath. Told you it's my secret weapon for my energy my outlook, my joy. Away a week, a day a week away from everything, just with, just with people and/or family. In other words, friends and/or family. If you don't have it, you can't imagine it. It's not something you can imagine. You'd have to, you have to experience it. While 99% of the rest of the country was locked down, willingly or forcibly, I was gathered with my same dozen friends every single Friday night as if nothing were happening. That was a very big deal in my life and in, and in the other 11 people's lives. Hobbies afford a sober high or sober fun. That's, that's a big trick in life in terms of happiness. Okay, let's go to Marty in Plymouth, Michigan. Hello, Marty.

Hello Dennis, this is a real honor to speak with you. Thank you. You're on a good topic today.

Yep, I know.

I, for the grace of God, have been sober for 43 years.

How old are you now? How old are you now?

I'm 67. So I drank all through college, right?

Exactly. So 24, you became sober?

Okay, correct. Yep. And what I've discovered, it's the most important thing, is you have to find internal peace first. And then I drank for that enhancement. You know, there's a line in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when, um, I think Elizabeth Taylor says to Paul Newman, why do you drink so much? And he says, well, I'm trying to get that click. Well, you only get that click the first time you get high, or like you said, the first time you have sex, the first time you do drugs, and then you're trying to chase it ever thereafter. And so you have to find peace in your heart, and then you can find joy being— doing things by yourself. Or I love to bike ride and swim and ski, but I will do those things alone. I don't need anybody to do those with me to have joy.

Well, obviously you have found sober fun.

I have, yeah. Oh, and I had—

I told you when, when you were 23 that you can have sober fun, would you have thought I was out of my mind? Probably.

Right.

Okay, that's my plan, ladies and gentlemen. I thank you, sir. I do thank you. I gotta move on here. And all right, let's see. David in Deerfield, Wisconsin. Hello.

Dennis, pleasure to speak with you.

Thank you.

You've helped me save my children's lives. You're a good man.

How did I help you save your children's lives?

Well, I mean, you just speak common sense, and I'm able to— I'm able to impart that.

Oh, good, good. You made my day. Thank you.

Yes, yes. One of them's a little off the deep end, but three of them at least are.

Well, you know, 3 for 4 is batting .750. Yeah, that's, that's Hall of Fame.

So I have, I have, I have 4 major hobbies. Um, I'm a semi-professional guitar player. Um, I like studying the Bible. Uh, I play golf and I brew beer. And I'm probably— 2 of them I'm typically sober for. I'm sober. And the other 2 I probably drink. When I'm doing that.

So, well, it doesn't mean you're not sober. Are you— do you drink to get— are you getting drunk?

I drink just because I enjoy it, right? So, okay, yeah, not falling, not falling. No, I don't like to drink and get— okay, inebriated.

All right, so they're all sober fun.

Yeah, yeah. But the— when I study the Bible, of course I don't drink. And typically when I'm brewing beer I don't drink. Uh, it seems like if I, um, by the end, by the time that I'm done brewing the beer though, I am definitely having one. So I find that it comes out better, uh, if I hold off.

That's fascinating. Well, thank you very much. Maybe one way of describing this hour's subject is The more sober fun you can have in life, the happier your life will be. And if you can't find sober fun, that's a very serious problem. There are so many avenues. I mean, I didn't mention another one— travel. That's a high. At least for me and for a lot of people, maybe not for you. Back in a moment.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

If you're eating less, staying disciplined, and the weight still isn't coming off, the problem may not be your effort. It may be your metabolism. After years of stress, dieting, and lack of sleep, the body adapts. It slows down and holds on to fat. That's why PhD Weight Loss focuses on your metabolism first. So your body stops working against you. Mention Prager today and receive 2 free weeks plus free food, a $1,500 value. Call 864-644-1900. That's 864-644-1900.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

I used to come home late, not a minute too soon, barking like a dog, howling at the moon. You'd be mad as a Norwegian. —up all night wondering where I'd been. I'd fall down and say, "Come help me, honey." You laughed out loud. I guess you thought it was funny. But I sobered up. I got to thinking, girl, you ain't much fun since I quit drinking.

Now, ain't no—

All right, everybody. Happiness Hour, second hour every Friday. I'm Dennis Prager. The subject is sober fun. Increasingly— well, I don't know if it's increasingly, I think it is, I'm not certain— people are not having fun from life but from additives. Drugs and alcohol are the most obvious, or gambling. Or any, any addictive behavior like that. But it's a reliance on adrenaline producers outside of normal life. I mean, friends, sometimes family if you have good family relations. If you have a good marriage, your marriage, you travel, music, hobbies. I mean, there are so many sources of what I call sober fun. It's quite remarkable that people do not find in life itself those fun things, those exciting things even. Okay, I learned that from people who feared getting sober because they couldn't believe they'd have fun. And I'm gonna have fun without drinking? It's almost impossible for the regular drinker to think that. Okay, let's see here. Thinks if someone smokes, it turns out— okay, all right, I'll try that. Springfield, Pennsylvania.

Mike, hello. Hello, Dennis. Hi. You signed my Deuteronomy book at the Fuse with a light green. Did it have a special name?

That's funny. I must admit, I don't remember the name of all the inks that I use, but it is a very fair question.

Yeah, I was gonna— my comment was maybe some people— I'm not talking from experience, I was a late bloomer— maybe some people smoke and it masks or turns off the guilt switch before they have sex.

Well, I think that's an interesting question. Uh, when my peers would tell me how much better sex was went high, I don't think it was to reduce guilt. I don't think they had any guilt. However, there are women who will in fact take something, I mean, have a drink or, or smoke a joint perhaps, if they're not committed to the guy that they're about to have sex with. In other words, like girls in the hookup culture at college. So it would, it might be more applicable in those, in those cases. All right. I thank you for that. And Ruth Ann in Erie, Pennsylvania. Hello.

Hello. Thank you for taking my call. The reason that I called is I was raised by Christian parents that really lived it and had a church that believed that we have a hole-shaped vacuum in our heart that only God can fill. And I never needed that other stuff because I had— Jesus had forgiven my sins. And when your sins are forgiven, you don't have to numb any pain that you caused others or others caused you. And it's— I'm not saying that every day was blissful. We go through trials just like everyone else. But another thing is, I think I never cared what other people thought because I knew that God approved of me, and so I didn't have to have a drink to go dancing and enjoy it. And what I found— and I— everybody knows that alcohol is a depressant. I used to go to parties where they drink, get high, do all kinds of stuff, and I drink my water. And, uh, come— some of them were afraid and thought it was a narc, and they're like, no, she's just a Jesus freak. And I got to tell them about Jesus. Of course, I didn't get invited back too many times, but I just, I'm happy even in the midst of horrible things because this earth is not our forever home. We're gonna be in heaven forever.

By the way, I'm curious, did you ever get married?

Unfortunately, I did not pick well, yes.

Wait, you did, oh wait, you did not pick well and you did get married? Right. I see. Okay. All right. I got it.

All right.

We'll, we'll be back in a moment.

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Stay in the grass and kill some time, looking like I'm in a daze, but it ain't no purple haze. I ain't stalled on what you think, just an afternoon sun that's starting to sink. I ain't drunk on nothing you can buy, just a gift from a woman, and I look at her eyes Hi everybody, Dennis Prager Happiness Hour.

Sober fun is the subject. People Vast numbers of people do not think you can have fun without some additive, without being high, for example, or assume that only high is real, where the real fun is. Addicts tend to believe that they have a fear, and if they do get sober, they won't have fun again. I suspect almost every addict has that particular fear. But a lot of people have it who are not addicts and who think that it's, it's necessary to escape the world in order to be high. And there was so much in the world to get high on. And that's not just the cute line, a throwaway line. I, I actually believe that. I, I marvel when I think of all the things that bring me joy And I think, don't any of them work for others? That's why I'm a big fan of hobbies and just interests in general. You know, I think one of the damaging aspects of modern life— the social media is, is a killer because it takes away from the joy of real life, the the real life joys you can have by preoccupying oneself in, in the electronic world like that. But there's another thing that I think that ruins kids' ability to enjoy life— too much homework. Can't tell you the contempt I have for schools that assign a lot of homework, and I don't have particular fondness for the parents who believe that it's important. You're depriving your children of exploring life. The purpose of life is not to get good grades in high school so as to get into a good college, contrary to what vast numbers of parents think. What's your purpose in life once you get into a good college? There is none. You realize that? You've lost your purpose. Your whole life has been get into a good college. Okay, you get into a quote-unquote good college. By the way, there are almost no good colleges, so it's an idiotic thing to begin with. But you mean, you don't mean good in any event, you mean prestigious. So your kid gets into a prestigious college and then what? What's their next, what's the purpose of life after that? They're now 21 years old, they've graduated the good college, now what? High-paying job? Whoa, whoopie-doo. Yeah, that's a biggie. So when did they have time? Again, I have to use my own life because it's the life I know best. I was very, very, very, very, very lucky in that I thought clearly at a very, very young age. I did no homework, none, for 4 years of high school. Graduated in the bottom 20% of my class, or as I often put it, the top 80%. Couldn't care less. It meant nothing to me. In the meantime, I did what I wanted, and I got high on music and on international correspondence. My hobby— one of my hobbies was shortwave radio listening. I mean, I, I developed so many joys of life instead of doing homework. It's— they have lasted with me my whole life. So it's, uh, it's worth thinking What joys does your kid have? Homework is not one of them. Getting into a good college does not do for your ultimate happiness what celebrating life does. Very good. Thank you, Dennis. You're welcome. San Antonio and Margo, hello.

Hello, Dennis. Hi. Thank you. Hi, uh, the secret that no one tells you about having sober fun is that it is 1,000% more fun than being high on anything. My drug of choice was alcohol, and I was so scared to lose a best friend that I had for 30 years if I gave it up, and it's the best thing that's ever happened in my life. So, very happy. There's so— I do so much more now, and I don't know how I ever managed to do anything, honestly, because it was a full-time job with my drinking.

Yep, yep. Well, I salute you. I salute every sober person. You, you have done something. Every one of you who has been— who's chosen sobriety, you have conquered something that is equivalent to climbing Everest. I have tremendous admiration for every one of you. The odds are also that you have more wisdom than most people because you went through AA. 12-step programs have more wisdom than any university in the country, with very few exceptions. Okay, Julie, Asheville, North Carolina. Hello.

Hi there. Um, I was just going to say that, uh, hobbies, successful, I think, sober fun when you're a creator, when you're doing photography or gardening or, or making something, as opposed to at your point on video games being amusement. You can be amused high or drunk, whatever. But I, I don't see kids with the hobbies, as you said, like we used to have— knitting, sewing.

God, you say knitting or sewing to, uh, a— what is it— Gen Xer, they may not even know what you're talking about.

Well, yeah, um, there's a— that people don't sew anymore, just really surprises me, right?

Well, they don't. So in, in anything, you— I like your point because I— what I take from it is in hobbies, you're, you're the actor. In amusements, they're the actors. You're the acted upon. So we're both making that point but in different ways, and it's a very important one. Think about the homework thing that I said though.

That's a biggie. This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

If you're eating less, staying disciplined, and the weight still isn't coming off, the problem may not be your effort. It may be your metabolism. After years of stress, dieting, and lack of sleep, the body adapts. It slows down and holds on to fat. That's why PhD Weight Loss focuses on your metabolism first, so your body stops working against you. Mention Prager today and receive 2 free weeks plus free food, a $1,500 value. Call 864-644-1900. That's 864-644-1900.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

He said, hey, mister, can you tell me how far? A walk it is to the nearest bar so I can turn around and run the other way. Got a tendency to tie one on. If stupid was a shirt, my sleeves would be long. I'm never too far from making my next mistake because it's hard to outrun the devil when he's sitting on your shoulders. You can't feel the warmer side of life when your world's getting colder. You know I'm gonna be a better man for it when my dark days are over, but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel this side of sober. And he said, yeah, I'm a guy— Hi everybody!

I'm gonna summarize your calls. Don't hang up, otherwise I won't know what you said. If you hang up, I lose your comments. Final segment of Sober Fun, that's the subject of today's Happiness Hour. Does your kid have sober fun other than video games or some other social media thing? Are they doing 3, 4, 5 hours of homework a night? Wasting their time doing it? You think they're learning? You're fooling yourself. They're certainly not learning how to love learning, which is all that matters in the final analysis. Eh, I ought to do an hour on homework. All right, let's see here. Seattle Bill said hobbies all his life. That's right, hobbies. I've talked about it often, and now I put two and two together and showed you why it's so important to have that sober fun. Keith in Carrollton, Texas, and there's so much happiness and joy, he's been accused of being drunk. That's cute. I, I hear you. And let's see, Castleberry, Florida, Kevin: If you can't be happy sober, you can't be happy unsober. Well, they think they're happy when they're not sober. That's the point. And what they have— there's a— there is an adrenaline rush. But it's not happiness. People who use drugs at a young age won't discover how to have fun when they are not on drugs. Stacy in Dallas, that's the point. That's correct. In Louisville, Kentucky, Scott is restoring a '65 Ford F-100 while listening to me. Good man. That, that's, that's great. Okay, anyway, and Joyce and Mary, I thank you both as well. There's so much in life. If you need an artificial ingredient, it's a bad sign. On tomorrow's episode of Dennis Teaches the Torah, I'd like to read to you, uh, Interesting observations faxed to me by a friend, Alan Estrin, who has finked out this evening and is watching the Academy Awards. So this is on tape for posterity that Alan Estrin, my dear friend, preferred Whoopi Goldberg to the Bible.

Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures to purchase courses and classic radio programs and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles. We want to take just a second to thank the team at Life Audio for their partnership with us on the podcast. Go to lifeaudio.com to find dozens of other faith-centered podcasts in their network, including shows about prayer, Bible study, parenting, and more.

If you're eating less, staying disciplined, and the weight still isn't coming off, the problem may not be your effort. It may be your metabolism. After years of stress, diet, eating and lack of sleep, the body adapts. It slows down and holds on to fat. That's why PhD Weight Loss focuses on your metabolism first so your body stops working against you. Mention Prager today and receive 2 free weeks plus free food, a $1,500 value. Call 864-644-1900. That's 864-644-1900.