How To Make Good People - Sunday Fireside Chat

Hey there, this is Marissa Streit. I am the CEO of PragerU, and you are about to listen to a special edition of Fireside Chat with Dennis Prager. Those of us here at PragerU are continuing to do the very important work that we've been doing with him for over 10 years. We are educating millions of young people online. We have state partnerships to bring our content into schools and so much more. You can head over to prageru.com to see the progress that we've been making. Also, I'd love to invite you to support our mission by donating to our 501. It is a nonprofit. Your tax-deductible donation will go to an institution of higher learning that actually shares your values. So enjoy your podcast and thank you so much for all your support.

Hi everybody. Welcome to my home. I'm Dennis Prager and this really is my home. And I come to you just about every week.

We call it the Fireside Chat. That's the reason.

I think that was obvious, but I thought I'd point to it anyway.

Whatever the season, we have the fire going for the fireside chat.

One of the best parts of this is it's, which unfortunately is sometimes a little too obvious, it's truly not scripted.

It's a way of you're getting to know me and what I think better and as informally as it were as possible.

And for me to take your questions.

So that's, that's the beauty. I always open up with some thoughts on something, might be in the news, it might have nothing to do with the news, and then I take your questions. So anyway, great to be with you and thanks for being with me. And usually it's a cigar, but in my private life away, every day is one cigar and one or two pipefuls. Started when I was a teenager. My dad smoked his last cigar his last year of life at 96. He never smoked a pipe, I don't think so anyway. And I don't like cigarettes, and cigarettes are dangerous. Just wanted to be careful about that. Okay, anyway, I spoke about that, uh, remember, didn't I? I spoke about that.

By the way, when I point to people, it's— there really are people here.

From Prager University, all of whom are on the young side, and they are spectacular, by the way. We have unbelievable people working at PragerU. I am really honored at the terrific people we attract. Okay, so here is my question. I want you to think about it.

It's a serious question. It's not a riddle. It's not a joke.

What is the single most important question society has to, has to answer, or for that matter, individuals have to answer.

The single most important question.

Okay, well, here is my nomination. I'm not saying I'm right, but this is my answer to that question. The most important question society has to answer And parents have to answer, and individuals have to answer, is how do you make good people? Or how do you make people good? You could put it either way. How do you make good people? Or how do you make people good? Very few people today ask that question. I'll explain why in a moment, but I want to contrast it with the past. Certainly in America, the society I know best, that was overwhelmingly the, the most frequently asked question.

That's why if you look at what kids read in school in first grade, second grade, third grade, through elementary school—

many didn't go to high school—

it was all about character development.

How to be an honest person, how to be a good person, how to be a kind person. How to have integrity. That's what the books were about. You don't have those books today. Why? What changed? Okay, what changed is this. About, I would say, starting with about after World War II, Americans started to believe that people were basically good, an idea that is completely foreign to what we call Judeo-Christian values. Both Judaism and Christianity do not hold that people are basically good.

They have, they have different variations, each of the religions, on the theme.

Christians will, uh, will emphasize original sin, a doctrine that the Jews might not emphasize.

But it doesn't matter because both originating with Genesis, which says the will of man's heart is towards evil from his youth.

That's— you want it in Hebrew?

Yetzer lev ha'adam ra min u'urav.

It's there and it's always been there. In fact, I don't know of a religion on Earth— forget Judeo-Christian religions— I don't know of a religion on Earth that does believe that we're born basically good.

Because people weren't stupid. I'm sorry to put it that directly, but there was more wisdom in the past.

I'm not saying people were terrific in the past. There's a lot of evil in the past. But people understood that people aren't basically good.

Human nature is very At best, mixed. Of course, there's good in human nature, otherwise no good would take place. But goodness is like gold.

It's there, but it's very tough to mine. That's the way I would put it. Yes, there is goodness in human nature, but it's very tough to mine.

I have a whole video at PragerU on people not being basically good.

It's very, very worth your while watching it. And of course, like all our videos, it's only 5 minutes long. And in it, I make the case for how naive it is.

It's so unbelievably naive to believe people are basically good. Where did all the slavery come from? Where did all the torture? Where did all the rape? Where did all the murder? Where did all the theft? Where did all the corruption? Where did all the mass murder? Where did all the individual murder come from? If we're basically good, That's a pretty big indictment of good people. It's so— on the one hand, we speak about slavery, right? Well, slavery was universal. By the way, so was human sacrifice.

Talk about people not being basically good.

But putting human sacrifice aside, slavery was universal. The idea that I could own a person and, until the Bible came around, treat them any way I want—

Bible prohibited treating treating people who work for you, whether as indentured servants or as slaves or as whatever they might be called. Anyway, plea— I have a whole large discussion of that in my most recent book, The Rational Bible, Volume 1 being about Exodus, which has the laws of slavery in it. I hope you'll look at it. Anyway, the most important question we could ask is, how do you make good people?

And I always give this example. If we were all born basically good, right, then why would parents have to tell their children, say thank you, about 100,000 times? Wouldn't once be enough? Oh, good idea. Mommy told me to say thank you. And I get it, I should express gratitude to somebody who's done something nice for me, right? If we were basically good. First of all, if we're basically good, we wouldn't even have to be told to say thank you. But let's say we were. Once or twice maybe would be all we would need. How many times were you told, say thank you? I hope tens of thousands.

I hope if your parent was a good parent, They said it a lot, like every day, right?

If people were basically good, we would be told to share things that we got. Do you ever see a kid at a party? This always cracks me up because I remember raising my kids. We had birthday parties and, you know, there would be cookies.

And I know now birthday parties, you know, they're so lavish, cookies is nothing.

But when I gave my kids birthday parties, they weren't lavish.

Intentionally. I could afford a lavish birthday party. I chose not to. Wasn't a good idea.

But be that as it may, they had— and so there would be chocolates or candies, and there would be ice cream and cookies, right? All that golden goodies. So you would see one kid who had like 8 cookies, in fact, or one kid had so many cookies, if he ate them all, we'd have to pump his stomach. But he never shared them. If we were basically good, the kid with 22 cookies would walk around, say, hey, see, I see you don't have a cookie, let me give you one of mine. How many kids do that?

How many parents have yelled at their kid, you know what, you share too much, you have to learn to be more selfish? Um, not often. That does not happen often.

Uh, you know what, uh, Timmy, you Why don't you offer one, like, to your sister? Why the hell should I give her a cookie?

I mean, he may not have had the hell in there, but you got my point.

Anyway, Joe, the question in life is how do you make people good? That's it. Everything else is secondary. How do you make people smart? That's our fixation. We want smart kids. Play Mozart when they're in utero. Put the headphones on, on his or her mommy's tummy. By the way, I conduct orchestras. I love classical music. All right.

I take it very seriously. But I don't think that making smart kids, even if putting earphones with Mozart worked, is the most important thing.

I told my kids, I don't care if you're brilliant, I care if you're good. I told it to them, okay? Because it didn't matter to me. Their grades didn't even matter to me. That's really sick for a parent, isn't it? Oh, don't you love my— what is it, the bumper sticker? My son or daughter is on the, you know, is at the so-and-so school honor roll or dean's list, or is that what it is, honor roll? Yeah, I, I, you know what message you're sending to your kid? That you value their brains more than anything else. But, but you shouldn't. You should, you should value their goodness, their character more than anything else. It's so amazing. We complain about how bad the world is filled with racism and misogyny and sexism and all these terrible things. And then we still don't ask, how do you make good people?

Right?

People are complaining how all of these terrible things are so ubiquitous, so commonplace. So, okay, what are you going to do about it?

Pass another law in the government? That's what a lot of people think. Oh, that'll do it.

Okay. That's the most important thing we have to ask.

How do you make good people? Now, I think that there are a lot of ways that work better than others, let's put it that way. My favorite way, it's called ethical monotheism.

You ready?

It's, it's going to sound very unsophisticated if you went to graduate school, but on the other hand, if you went to graduate school, um, you're intellectually challenged. Immediately, because you learn a lot of nonsense in graduate school. I know, I went there.

And my, my method is—

the best method I know is God wants you to be good. Now, some of you don't believe in God.

Fine, do it without God. Society wants you to be good.

Your parents want you to be good. I, I think they're all great. But I still think ultimately, "God wants me to be good" is, is a very strong thing to teach a child, and for that matter, an adult. But we'll put that aside. I just want to leave you with the understanding that every other question— how do you make kids smart, how do you make kids successful, how do you make kids rich— It's all secondary to how do you make them good.

So here's a question I'd like you to ask if you're a parent. I'd like you to ask your child, if your child is 5 or 50, I want you to ask this question.

Ready?

But you got to get the wording. You have to memorize the wording.

What do you think I, your father, or I, your mother, most want you to be?

Not what do you most want to be? What do you think I, your parent, most want you to be? Happy, successful, smart, or good? I have been asking this question of parents for about 30 years.

I began broadcasting 35 years ago, and shortly thereafter I posed that question on the radio.

So interesting how many parents would meet me at functions or even in the street or at a restaurant and say, you know, I asked my son or daughter that question and I thought they'd say good, but they didn't.

And the reason the kid didn't is because they really don't think that's the thing you most want. You most want them to be successful, happy, and smart. Now you, in your heart, I'm sure want them to be good, but you didn't emphasize that in raising them. Everything was, what college will you get into? Or what team will you play for? Or how successful will you be? Not going to make a very good world that way, will we?

So that's my answer.

And it could only be done one by one by one by one. You make a good world by making this one good and this one good and this one good and this one good.

Okay.

Is that clear, guys?

Alrighty.

Time for your questions. How do I get this? Uh, how do I get the, um, There it is. I see. Okay, here we go, folks.

Sebastian in New Mexico, 17.

17 is the age.

Hello, Mr. Prager.

Hi, Sebastian.

My question is, throughout your entire life, what job have you enjoyed the most? Well, the immediate response that I have is the one I enjoyed the least.

That I can tell you. That's easier.

Shoveling snow. I really dislike that.

I grew up in New York City, in Brooklyn, and that was the first way I made money. I always wanted to make money because I always wanted to spend money. And since my parents weren't going to give me that much money, I had to earn it. So, uh, already at about the age of 12, I was shoveling, uh, snow in the neighborhood.

If you haven't shoveled snow, you don't know how hard it is.

Snow weighs a lot, especially when it's slush, a combination of water and snow.

And I really disliked it, but it was the first $8 I ever made.

And I remember to this day what I spent it on. I spent it within an hour of earning it. I also think I created a herniated disc shoveling the snow. But in any event, I got—

this is what I got.

I remember it.

That's how dramatic it was.

I had money to spend that I earned.

It was so exhilarating. It is to this day, by the way.

I feel bad for people who are bequeathed a lot of money by their parents.

It sounds great.

It isn't. As one wonderful thinker has put it, All happiness is earned. That's correct. So anyway, I got— you know what I got? What did I get?

I bought a board game called Clue, and I bought two Hardy Boy books.

I loved reading Hardy Boy Adventures. I don't know if they're read today. They were in hardback and they were, you know, not very expensive.

And I think that's what I got.

I think I got 2 Hardy Boy books and, and Clue. For $8 is not bad. All right.

Now, what did I really love? I loved being a waiter at summer camp. I really did.

I got a big charge out of it.

I don't know why. I just got a big charge out of it. Being a waiter in a regular restaurant is tough work.

Being a waiter at a summer camp is not tough work, but it was a lot of fun. Um, but the truth is, um, I love being a radio talk show host, which I've been for 35 years. I love it. I love it every day. And I never lose sight of the, the, the gift that I make a good living telling people what I think. That's, that's very rare, and I never lose sight of that fact. That's part of the reason I work so hard to give people the very best 3 hours I can every single day, because I know how valuable a job that is, and I, I do love it. Okie doke.

Uh, let's see.

Jeffrey in Boston, 18 years old. Hi Dennis, my question is, how do you regain someone's trust when you have broken it? That's a very important question. And I, I think the, the only way— well, the only ways perhaps is more accurate— is first to somehow convey to the person how regretful you are for losing their trust, for whatever you did that made them lose your trust.

Obviously that's the issue.

Can you convince them that you really regret having done X, Y, or Z to lose their trust? Then, oh, if they, if they have not severed relations with you, uh, you try to, uh, earn their trust every day from then on.

I'll give you one dramatic example.

Is where one spouse has, uh, been unfaithful, sexually unfaithful to the other, or for that matter, I guess even emotionally unfaithful. And I will tell you the interesting thing. I have, I've covered this subject for decades on the radio, and it is amazing— or it's not amazing to me, it might amaze many of you— to know how many couples after the terrible initial hurts actually got to have a better marriage afterwards. I've always told couples, do not automatically divorce if your spouse has been unfaithful. Do not automatically. That doesn't mean nobody should. It means that you shouldn't do it automatically. That I do believe very strongly. And it's amazing how that break opened up the spouses to talking better, to learning what was really going on in the marriage, and how often over time not only was trust built and rebuilt, but they even had a better marriage. So it's possible.

Okay, Haley in Israel, 23 years old.

Do you believe there is an ideal timeline, quote unquote, for people to reach certain milestones in life such as marriage, buying a house, etc.?

It's a very good question.

And yeah, I think I— now that you posed it, I didn't think about it. Think of it using those terms, ideal timeline. But this will sound pretty shocking.

As soon as you can.

That's my answer.

I think the statement that I hear all the time, well, I'm not ready to get married, as an example.

Okay, I got to take a puff for that one. So it's an interesting one. I'm not ready to get married.

So let me give you a very interesting insight.

No one's ever ready to get married.

You know when you're ready to get married?

The day after the wedding. That's when you're ready to get married. And you may not even be ready then. You may be scared out of your mind the next day, or even that day.

That's, uh, you're ready to get married when you decide two things have to take place.

You decide that you would be a better person if you got married, and in most cases that is true. Not in every case. Nothing is true for everyone on Earth. Okay, let's be clear.

Um, but for most people, ask them, ask people who got married, did you become more mature after you got married? Even if they divorced, even if they had a lousy marriage, ask them, did marriage mature you? I don't know anyone who would say no, I got more immature as a result of marrying.

Maturity is a big component in being a better person and being a grown-up. If you want to be a grown-up. A lot of people don't want to be grown-ups today. This is a very big problem. When I was a kid, boys were told, be a man.

You know what be a man meant?

Get a job and take care of a family. That's what it meant. That's, that's what I, I was raised to believe in. It was a good thing. Not anymore. In fact, you can't even say be a man. You're imposing gender identity on a boy. Which is so beyond belief that I won't even— I won't get there now. I'll talk about that another time. We're not living in a healthy age, to say the least.

So, uh, timeline, yes. Now obviously you don't get married just because it's time to get married.

You have to meet a person that would be a good fitting partner for you. I fully acknowledge that. But you're not going to meet somebody to be a fitting partner if you don't want to find a fitting partner. It's like, uh, you will more likely find something if you look for it than if you don't look for it. If you're looking for a spouse, you're more likely to find a spouse. This is pretty elementary stuff, but that's the truth. You know how many young women I speak to and say, I ask them, you want to get married?

If the right man comes along. What does it mean comes along? What, parachutes into your house? I don't even understand the concept. If he comes along, who comes along? It cracks me up. It's so unreal. If he comes along or she comes along, it helps to look for what is valuable. That's like saying, so have you made your first $50,000? It comes, it comes.

Oh, you mean you're not trying to make your first $50,000?

You're not looking for it?

It's, it's, it doesn't, doesn't make any sense.

So you need both. You have to want to do it and find the right person to do it with. Agreed.

But my timeline is Why not do it as soon as you can?

As you can. And when men say— men have the other thing, uh, well, you know, I want to be financially stable. Why? You can't become financially stable with a wife? That all of humanity did that. That's when people became financially stable, once they got married. Nobody was financially stable, almost nobody was before they got got married? They got married young. And isn't it cheaper to live for two than for one anyway? So it doesn't make any sense. And by the way, men become far more financially stable when they get married. The data are awesome.

Unbelievable data, how much more money married men make than, than single men in the same circumstances.

So that's why I said as early as you can. And Maria in Arizona, 16 years old. What would be a wise way to shut down the thought that reverse racism isn't real?

Basically, how do I prove that it's just, that it's just racism and that everyone is capable, although not always likely, of being racist or having some form of racism directed toward them? Uh, this, this is when— this was one of the ideas that I heard in college that made me realize I was being taught nonsense at college. Most of what I learned at college outside of, uh, you know, just data was nonsense.

This was nonsense. I was actually told—

this is how long ago it goes back—

I wasn't in college yesterday, and I was told it's not possible for a Black to be racist.

So I remember thinking, you gotta be kidding. You're kidding, right?

Then the next teacher said only whites could be racist. That's so— that's like saying only whites could be bank robbers. You mean There's a bad thing called racism, but it is only available to one race? If I said only whites could be car thieves, would you think that was stupid? Then why is only whites could be racist not stupid? Racism is a bad idea. Bad ideas afflict people of all races. This is so elementary that you have to go to college to have your mind think otherwise. That's what happens in college.

You are taught not to think clearly.

I, I say this with no joy, and there are always exceptions.

There are, I know that, but overwhelmingly what I said, I stand by.

They're on— what is their argument? Because whites have power and only the powerful could be racist. So if a black man said, I hate whites, and then shot 4 whites, that was, that was not racist?

What would you call it?

What would you call it? By the way, the guy with the gun is the one with the power.

So if a white guy has a gun and black people don't, He's got the power. And if Black guy has a gun and the white people don't, he's got the power. And if a Latino has it, he's got the power. And if a Bulgarian has it, he's got the power. Can Bulgarians be racist? Hmm. Ask a teacher that one.

I mean, it's beyond belief.

This is why I, I worry, I really worry, I have to say, I worry about the future of America and the West because of the amount of truly, truly morally and intellectually stupid ideas you are told. That is one of them. Black, a Black can't be racist.

Can a Black in Kenya be racist?

Kenya's Black.

So ask a teacher that one. Okay, so a black in America can't be racist because whites have more power.

Okay, so blacks have more power in Kenya or Togo or Benin or Cameroon or Angola.

Can they be racist there?

Just curious.

And finally, Bunny. Yeah, we went from 16, 17, 23 to 72. Hi, Bonnie in Southern California. What do you know about intelligent design?

A lot, but the most thing— the most I know about it is common sense.

If you found— if we found—

we humans found a computer on Jupiter, would we assume it just got there over time through natural forces on Jupiter, or would we assume that intelligence is only created by intelligence? That's all intelligent design is. Intelligence comes from intelligence. Intelligence doesn't come from rocks. That's what atheists believe. It's not what common sense suggests, because there is zero I mean a zero explanation in science for going from the inorganic to the organic, from non-life to life. How did we go from non-life to life? So the atheist says, we don't know, but science will one day explain. Okay, maybe, but until that day— and I don't believe that day will come— but until that day The argument that intelligent information, which is what DNA is, for example, was put there by an intelligence.

That's all.

I don't think we went from pebbles to Mozart with no intelligent design. It doesn't make any sense to me. But you'll, you'll have to make up your own mind on that one.

So guys, are we okay?

We could wrap up. Well, it's been a joy to be with you.

And tell your friends about it.

Go to Prager University, watch our videos, and let people know that there's a lot of common sense out there. We're not the only place that provides it, but we do. Thanks for being with me. From my home to yours, I'm Dennis Prager.

Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.

What happened 5 minutes before creation? The answer is there was no 5 minutes before creation because time was created. But you don't understand that, and I don't understand that. What does it mean time was created? Time is time, right? That's the way we think. What will happen after we die? Let's say— so people say eternal life. Sounds great, but is it great? Eternal life?

Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.