Jacob Makes A Vow With God - Genesis 28:1-29:35

On today's episode of Timeless Wisdom.

Now listen to this. This is the only instance in a biblical narrative of a man kissing a woman who is neither his mother nor his wife. This is it.

That's coming up on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.

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Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to dennisprager.com. Any questions from last week?

Are you all— by the way, how do we make this room cooler? I feel like I am in a solarium. Is that the word? That's not doing it, believe me. That's 1 watt. But maybe we can make it a little cooler. No questions? So you all agree with me that Jacob is defensible in his conduct, except one woman didn't Yes, you did. Really very good. By the way, you notice I spent 2 sessions on that chapter for those of you who were with me in the previous. That's how rich I thought it was. We'll be going faster now though. We're up to chapter 28, uh, in Genesis.

I have a question.

Yes.

Okay, there was one point that stuck with me like since the last meeting. Yeah, I can't get it off my mind. It's that when you make mistakes in your life, whether they're purposeful or not, yeah, you get consequences, right? Now, in your opinion, God give you a consequence that he didn't want you to have, even if you made this innocent mistake?

That I think a lot of our mistakes are innocent mistakes, and there are consequences to be paid. I think that God lets the world go in its way, on its course. If you choose the wrong partner for your marriage, you will have consequences from that. God is not happy that you did that, but God will not right your bad marriage. Just to give an example, if you raised your kid the wrong way, there are consequences. God doesn't want it. I mean, if, if God only allowed the consequences he wanted, this would be a perfect world.

But you still believe in a personal God that knows you very deeply?

Believe in a personal God.

Then how would he allow a person to meet that person that's not really right for them?

What is God's choice? The only choice God would have is just as about— you're about to, uh, go on a date with the wrong guy, he will have him have tuna dribble from his mouth, and you will then reject him. I mean, in other words, God would have to intervene miraculously to prevent that. But it's— but then life becomes absurd. It's one of the most important points, I think, that I make in the issue of divine intervention, that you wouldn't want a world where God did what you wanted. You only think you want that. Also, by the way, it's a very tough issue because what you want, somebody else may want the opposite. Let's say he wants to marry you, but you, but you don't want to marry him. Who should God listen to? Who should God intervene on behalf of? You see what I'm saying? It's, it's, and, and it's in there, it's, it's constant. I mean, I always give the example of your house burning at the end of the block, and you're driving home, you see a house on fire, you go, "Oh God, let it not be my house." You're, of course, praying that somebody else's house is on fire. Alright, that's a dramatic example of where we wouldn't want God to intervene. But even when it is not like that, what if you say, "You know, LA has a real drought, and we'd love it to rain for the next few days." But what if your daughter has an outdoor wedding tomorrow and you say, "Oh God, let it not rain tomorrow." So who's God supposed to listen to, the state of California or your daughter? You see, it's just, it's constant. It's the minute God would start getting involved like that, the ramifications are enormous. And if God affects one life, what is it somebody once figured out? Every human on Earth is within 4 humans or 6 humans of every other human in the world? Did you ever hear that? And it's true. It's actually true. Play downtown just recently, Six Degrees of Separation. Six Degrees of Separation, that was the name of the play? Well, that's, that's right. There are 6 degrees of separation between you and a peasant in northwest Mongolia. Isn't that amazing? So it shows the ramifications of actions. It's very important to think that way, by the way. It puts a burden on you not to do evil and to do good. The ramifications of good and bad are very great. What do you mean by 6 degrees? Are you talking genetically? No, no, not genetically. In other words, that between me and anyone else on Earth, any other one person, I could get to that person through 5 contacts. I know X who knows Y who knows Z who knows A who knows B who knows the 6th. Man, it's true. I've thought about it. I mean, socially, socially, socially, in any way, familiarly, socially, you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows that person. That's not very far away. It is astounding, but it's true. I've often thought, well, you know, what about the, uh, the Prime Minister of Dahomey. Okay, and then I thought for a minute, I know people in the State Department, I'm within probably 2 or 3 people of the head of Dahomey, a country in West Africa. And that guy knows somebody who knows the peasant in northwest Dahomey, and there it is. But since you know me, so you're within 6 of the peasant of the— see, no, no, but that's how it works, you see. And so, and so it's a facet, it's a truly remarkable thing. Yes.

How about a terrible accident, a car accident, where somebody who is very traditional goes to synagogue, is on his way to synagogue, right? It happened 2 weeks ago.

Yes, it did. Yes, she asks the question about how do I rationalize good people on their way to synagogue get run over? I mean, they're doing a beautiful thing. And she mentions correctly, I know, I know of the people Two people were walking to synagogue very near my home two weeks ago, and a woman— and they were standing on an island. I mean, they were, they were doing exactly what pedestrians should do. It was Pico and Beverly, standing on the island waiting for the light to change, and a woman decided to make a right turn on Beverly after she had already missed it. So she was totally in the wrong and swerved right and drove right over them. Uh, uh, going there and, and terribly, terribly hurt. Now, so the answer is the exact same as what I was saying.

God—

I don't believe God swerved her car, because if God swerved her car, then she doesn't have freedom of choice. But if God had stopped her from swerving, she also doesn't have freedom of choice. But what is God supposed to do? That's what I keep asking people. What is God supposed to do? Do I When I believe in a personal God, it is not what I think a lot of people— and I don't think, I know a lot of people believe— which is a celestial butler, a butler in heaven. Uh, God, uh, here's, here's my list, uh, please fulfill it. I want to be healthy, I want my kids to be healthy, uh, I want to make the following, uh, I want to be protected from the following, and so on. It can't work that way. That's not what personal God means. Personal God means that God knows you and cares about you. Now, does God ever intervene? I think so. I just don't think that we have guarantees against tragedy. Also, when does God intervene? Ironically, will be something I'm going to talk about today when we get to Jacob's dream. I think that there is a hint there as to how God intervenes in, uh, in our lives. Yes.

I heard about a research study, uh, where with people that were prayed for— yes, did you hear about that?

Yes.

And they didn't even know they were being prayed for.

Oh, that's fascinating. Yeah, that I didn't hear. She says that she has heard of a study of people who were sick and who had recuperated more rapidly being prayed for, even if they didn't know they were being prayed for. I'd like to see that study. Yeah, that's, that's very interesting. By the way, I, I, it doesn't, doesn't violate my thinking that God does intervene, uh, but it is not a predictable intervention. I, I guess that's the best way of putting it, and, and it shouldn't be. Yes.

Were you just then saying how God may or may not answer our prayers?

That's another issue. I was first talking about, are you protected? The question was, is that, uh, am I talking about God answering prayer? On it, yes. Part of what I was saying is about God answering prayer, as for example, oh, let it not rain on my daughter's wedding, or let that not be my house on fire. By the way, I have similar problems with but not, not as great with regard to totally positive things, uh, as for example praying for the sick. Oh God, please heal my mother. But what about the mother who's in the hospital who doesn't have— or well, she wouldn't be a mother, but what about the woman in a hospital who doesn't have children? Should she therefore— and therefore she doesn't have as many prayers said for her as the one who has a lot of children— should she be less likely to have God help her than one who has the prayer said? You see, that's the problem I have with any assumption that this is what God will do. Also, I think it sets you up for atheism, to be honest. Uh, I, I know people who felt that they had the special relationship with God, a tragedy befell them, and they totally gave up on God. I mean, I truly know such people. This is not a theoretical That's because the God that they believed in, or somehow or other they believed, guaranteed them— of all humans, guaranteed them not to experience tragedy. By the way, it's an ongoing problem that I, I'm convinced people face, and that is not dealing with the reactions to tragedy until tragedy befalls them. I think in the last year of radio, the single most important lesson I learned, and I learned a lot from my radio show, is that in order to deal with trauma, you need to develop a philosophy of life before the trauma occurs. It's something I'm writing up now. It's— I think it's of such great importance. You have to develop an outlook on life before tragedy. Once the tragedy occurs, it's too late. You— and with regard to God specifically, you need to develop A, a relationship, but B, a sophisticated understanding of God that isn't of the variety of, 'I won't believe in you if anything bad happens to me,' then, then you're finished. Then you have not only guaranteed that you won't believe you when tragedy happens, you've guaranteed misery for yourself, because that's when you'll need God most. It's precisely when that— when the bad happens, and the bad will happen to every one of us. It's not possible. It's not possible to go through life unscathed. So I, I, that's why I think that this stuff is very important, that you develop a philosophy of life. I think ideally a religious philosophy of life, but at least a philosophy of life prior. I remember one call which is analogous to this. A woman called me up and she said, you know, I never agreed with you about capital punishment for murder. Then my brother was murdered, and now I completely agree with you. Well, the, the obvious reaction you're supposed to have to that as a talk show host is, oh my God, my heart goes out to you, which I was among the things I said, but it wasn't the only thing I said. I said, I have to tell you the truth, I'm a little annoyed with you. When other people's brother got killed then you were very understanding about the need of the murderer to live. Now it finally hits home, and now you think murderers should die. I think that you have to look at the world as if it's your brother who got hurt, then— and then make your reaction, not wait for the event to take place. So of course, if you're really thinking this thing through, you could— well, you can argue the other way. What if it's your brother who made— who committed the murder? Would you then be for capital punishment? And I would have to say I would still be for capital punishment, but not for my brother. I'mma be very honest. I'm too attached to my brother, and I wouldn't want him killed. But I wouldn't change my view on the larger subject, because I don't make my view on what's totally beneficial to my feeling at that moment. You have to transcend yourself to develop a view on these issues. And it certainly holds true with personal tragedy. That's why I think it's, it's important to, to work this stuff out now before it happens. Okay, all right, let me go on here because I'd love to get through, uh, at least one chapter, hopefully two. Chapter 28 in Genesis. This is a very interesting chapter, but it's not as, uh It's interesting in a very different way than the, than the really complex 27 and the drama. I mean, talk about drama. That was about as dramatic as you can get with Rebecca setting up Jacob to fool her husband Isaac. But now, what did Isaac think about being fooled? After all, he knows he's fooled. And look at chapter 28.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's Timeless Wisdom.

So Isaac sent for Jacob and blessed him. Now it's a very strange thing, isn't it? If he's so angry at Jacob, why does he send for him to bless him? He might— if he sent for him, anything would be to rebuke him, right? Wouldn't that be the most logical follow-up to what we had just read? Remember how, how he let out a shudder over having been manipulated by his wife and son? My suspicion is that this tells you that when he thought it through, he was not unhappy with what had happened, especially since Esau didn't kill him. My, I, I do believe he was afraid of Esau. Because that is what I said. Remember, Esau cried, but Isaac didn't. Isaac let out a shudder, but of terror, but not a shudder of sadness. So Isaac calls to Jacob, and he blesses him and instructs him, saying, "You shall not take a wife from among the Canaanite women," which of course Esau had done, remember, and it had bothered both Rebekah and Isaac a great deal. Go up to Padan-aram, to the house of Betuel, your mother's father, and take a wife there from among the daughters of Lavan. I'll use the Hebrew rather than Laban. Of Lavan, or Laban if you will, and your mother's brother. Okay, so your uncle. Take a, take a wife from among the family of your maternal uncle. With me? May El Shaddai— this is another name of God. El is a very common name in, uh, in Hebrew for God. It is one of the most common. It just means God. And in fact, it could mean God small g too. You have, uh, that, that term. Shaddai is a rarer but not uncommon form of, uh, of name for God. And they're not absolutely certain of the, of the origins Uh, he has theories on it, uh, in, uh, Sarna does. But it is interesting what the word itself is. The word for breasts in Hebrew is shaddayim. This could simply be a feminine, a feminine form of God, the, the, the, the breastly God, if there could ever— or the God of breasts for that matter, or the God of the breast. Is— and by the way, the word for compassion, which is commonly used for God, El Rachum, comes from Rechem, which means womb. There are a lot of references to the female in, in description of God, even in a what is called patriarchal text such as the Torah. And God is clearly not female, though God is not male either. God is sexless, or both sexes, if you will. But In any event, God is not one sex or the other, but there are times where feminine attributes might be used. This could be one of them. Anyway, God— may God bless you. This is verse 3. Make you fertile and numerous so that you become an assembly of peoples. So God— God— Jacob is giving— is getting these blessings from Isaac. Isaac is clearly at peace with what has happened. I mean, I don't think think there's any other way to read this. May he grant the blessing of Abraham to you and your offspring. I find it interesting though, I couldn't figure out any commentary on it, that it says, may God— it says, may he grant the blessing of Abraham. You, you might have thought he would have said Abraham my father. Uh, it just, you know, if I were to bless my son and call my father by his first name I would probably add the, the relationship. See, my father's name is Max. So if I said to my son, say David, David, may Max my father bless you, rather than may Max bless you. And I just, I'm just thinking that's the way I was putting it. So I found it interesting that it was left out. It may mean nothing to you and your offspring, that you may possess the land where you are going. Which God assigned to Abraham. So Isaac sent Jacob off, and he went to Padan-aram to Laban, the son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebecca, mother of Jacob and Esau. Don't ask me, I never know why they always add who these people are whom you just met the previous chapter. Who else is Rebecca? I, I don't know. I, I— it's, it's a literary thing Uh, which is done for some reason, and I never could quite figure it out. When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him off to Padan-aram to take a wife from there, charging him as he blessed him, you won't take a wife from among the Canaanite women, and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and gone to Padan-aram, Esau realized that Canaanite women displeased his father Isaac. Isn't that interesting? That it meant something to him that it displeased his father. So Esau went to Yishmael and took to, took a wife in addition to the wives he had. And it's Machalat, the daughter of Yishmael, the son of Abraham. So look at this. Esau takes a wife from his uncle just as Isaac— Jacob is going to take a wife from his uncle. But again, it's the maternal that matters here. And I keep pointing out the whole book of Genesis that these matriarchs are the ones continuing, or— and clearly continuing, and consciously so, the covenant between God and Abraham. It's not that uncle that matters. It's the uncle of Rebekah. It's the brother of Rebekah. Not the brother of Isaac, from where the wives will matter. So it's just an interesting thing to realize because you would think they both took from family. Why, why is any one better than the other? The Jacob left— this is a verse 10— Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran. Now we come to some very dramatic stuff. Not in a theologically dramatic as opposed to humanly dramatic as in the last chapter. He came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place. Okay, it's very important that it's just a place. Notice the word place here is, is emphasized. It's not a holy place, it's just a place. Okay, and, and the reason for that is God is everywhere. God is not just in holy places. God is any place. Hebrew, makom. In fact, one of the terms for God in Hebrew is hamakom, which means the place. The place that God is is the place, which is everywhere. Okay, so he puts this stone under his head and laid down in that place. Even as a kid learning this in 4th grade, I, I, I always thought that I personally would prefer to keep my head on the ground than on a stone. I— it never struck me as a comfortable thing to do. And, but, you know, to each his own, but if I needed a pillow and it weren't soft, I'd prefer no pillow to a stone. Does that meet with your approval? Does that strike you as a funny thing to do? Depends how hard the ground is.

They had pillows that were curved. I mean, they made stones that were curved in the shape of your head.

They made stones that were shaped in the curve of your head, or curved in the shape of your head. Yeah, but the presumption is they're not all around. He just found one. He found a pillow shaped like his head in that spot. Well, I would also have a dream about God if I thought that stones were made for my head all over the place. They use wooden pillows in Japan. They would relate better to this text, no question. Verse 12. Okay, now he dreamt and there was— how many of you have ladder? Okay, ladder is wrong. It's a very— no, this is very— it's, it's not critical, but the general overwhelming consensus is it's not a ladder, it's a stairway. How many of you have stairway? Well, if you don't have stairway and you don't have ladder, what do you have? I'm curious, does anybody have a third one? Sorry, one more.

No, no, look.

Oh yeah, okay, I didn't hear it, but it's okay. There is a stairway, there's a stairway set on the ground and its top reached to the sky, and angels of God were going up and down on it. All right, this is, uh, this is a very interesting dream. There's a stairway from the ground to the sky, to the heavens. And I'll have to go to verse 13. And God was standing by it, or I, I really, as I would understand it, at the top of it. Okay, and I'm not going to continue with what God said. First, let's talk about this part of the dream. The reason that stairway is important is because it makes sense in terms of ancient Near Eastern holy temples. Did you ever see a ziggurat? I'm sure you have, but where they're like steps up, and those were temples in the ancient Near East, and that, that's like a stairway up to heaven. So he dreamt of something that he would see all the time. He had obviously seen this. This was not an abstraction, this stairway. Something had led from the ground to the sky, and it was one of these Mesopotamian, or wherever it was in the ancient Near East, type of temples with stairways leading up. And God is, is above it, and, and angels of God are going up and going down it. Now, this is a fascinating thing. Why are they going up first? If I were to say to you, any of you— I've tried this— if you want to dream about a stairway to heaven and angels were going all, all around, what would you say? That they were coming down and going up, or going up and coming down? Everybody would think coming down and going up. Angels— that's the angel's address, heaven. That's where they stay, and then they come down to us and go back up. Clearly there is something intended here by stating they were going up and then coming down. I don't know what it is, but I just thought you might want to be aware of that. No, no, actually I have some theories. I just— but you should know that they are only theories. There is no absolute way of knowing. The only thing we know is it's intentional. The angels are going up and coming down. No, I have two personal explanations. Number one, the angels in mythology reside in heaven, but angels perhaps from the Torah's perspective reside on earth. Only if you believe that their residence is up there does this seem odd. If their residence is down here, it makes perfect sense. Got that from my wife, thought it was really good and wanted to share with you. That is how it would work, and it makes a great deal of sense because the word angel is not what it really says. Angel is a, a, an English idea where all of you picture these beings with little wings, uh, that are supernatural. But you remember already we met angels, remember, in earlier parts of Genesis, who show up, for example, at Lot's house. Remember in Sodom, it said angels use the same word, malach. Malach really means, and I use the term then, messenger. Remember the malachim that came to Abraham when he's sitting out in the midday sun, and they're coming to tell him that he's going to actually have a child, he and Sarah? Those are malachim. Those are, those are quote-unquote angels, but they're really messengers. And no matter what you hold about angels, the malachim, quote-unquote angels, of the Torah are humans. They are God's messengers in human form. I think it's a very important thing to realize. I think God does have messengers in human form. And if you get the word angel out of your mind and think of divine messenger, I think it makes a great deal more sense. Or if you still insist on angel, at least you have to acknowledge that at least from the Torah's perspective, these are people. Or angels coming in the guise of people. Maybe, maybe they are angels, but they come as people. So these messengers of God are going up and coming down, and that makes a great deal of sense. They start with us, and maybe we do have among us messengers of God, right? Who knows? But they don't reside up there. They reside here. And so that's one reason I am convinced Jacob dreams a dream of messengers or angels going up and then coming down. The second reason I hold this is this: we have here a divine-human encounter, God and Jacob. The question is, How— who initiates divine-human encounters? I would say that generally speaking, not always in the Torah, but generally speaking, and certainly in later Jewish thinking, by and large humans initiate divine-human encounter. If this stairway is Jacob communicating with God It is Jacob who is on the stairway. God doesn't communicate with those who do not wish to communicate with him. It's not a punishment. It makes sense. If you don't want to talk to me, how can we have a dialogue? I cannot impose a dialogue upon you. You have to want it, and I have to want it. That is why people make terrible mistakes when they think that they will become religious only and, oh, and when God makes some effort to communicate to them. It doesn't work that way. I believe that God has communicated with us by the very fact that God has created the world. I think that there is a natural divine communication, and you have a choice. You can look at the universe and say, what an extraordinary physical coincidence. Or you can look at the universe and say, as the psalmist does, magod luma asacha Adonai, how great are your works, O God. That's your choice. We all see the exact same thing. Whether you wish to see God in it or not is the question. You'll see later with Moses and the burning bush In a certain sense, we all have burning bushes in our lives. The question is, do you take the time to stop and notice it? He stopped and noticed that it wasn't being consumed. After all, most people would see a bush burning and walk by. "Oh, a bush is burning. Big deal." He stopped and noticed. Do you stop and notice babies born? Do you stop and notice things that happen in your life? Do you stop and notice the natural world? Or do you say, "Gee, isn't that something?" and keep walking? I believe that we initiate our own religiosity. If you are waiting for God to appear to you, it won't happen. If, however, you initiate and open yourself up to it, I still can't guarantee any strong dialogue with God, but I can guarantee that without it, nothing is possible. We do generally the initiating. It's almost like the Talmud has a very funny line. It's not meant funny, but I've always found it funny. And that is, it talks in the, in the Tractate Sanhedrin, I believe it is, at the end. It talks about olam haba, the hereafter, the afterlife. And it says that any Jew who doesn't believe in the afterlife doesn't go there. It's not a punishment, it's just the fact. If, if you have not been prepared to believe that there was something beyond this life and see this is all there is, then for you this is all there is. But for those who see more, there is more. I think that's the way I would put it. For those who wish to make this initiation toward God, God is standing at the top of the stairway. We live in an age which is so powerfully secular that it's very difficult to do. It was easier in pagan Mesopotamia, in pagan Canaan, for Jacob than it is for most of you in secular pagan America, as it were, because at least the pagans had religiosity. The secular society in which you and I live has no religiosity. So it is more difficult for you than it was for them in some ways, the earliest patriarchs, to have some sense of God, because at least pagans did.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

Precious metals dealers come and go. This is Nick Grovich, president of Ampfed Coin and Bullion. We've stood the test of time since 1983. With the flurry of coin and bullion dealers coming and going, how do you know who to trust and what to buy? At AmFed Coin and Bullion, we value educated consumers. We want to alert you to good bullion buys in the market and help you steer clear of the tricks and bad deals. Call AmFed Coin and Bullion for a free coin performance review. 800-221-7694 or americanfederal.com.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

So that's the two things I would argue. A, the angels reside among us, these messengers, and B, that we— the initiation starts from the earth, not from the sky, not from heaven. I acknowledge, however, for the sake of intellectual honesty, that, for example, when God speaks to Abraham, we have no basis in the Torah. And I made this point very clearly when it happened. I said, why did God choose Abraham? And the Torah's answer is, we don't have a clue. But interestingly, all of Jewish tradition tried to answer the question. When I studied Torah as a child, we were taught it in terms of stories before we got to the text, as I think most kids are who study in, in religious school. But what they did was they taught us things that are not in the Torah but are in the Midrash. Midrash is the rabbinic thought and stories to fill in the major gaps of the Torah. It's my way of explaining it. And the rabbis dealt with this. So why did God choose Abraham? Oh, well, we know why. And maybe some of you heard this if you went even to first grade Hebrew school. Well, Abraham looked around, and his father— what did his father do according to legend for a living? He was not a lawyer or a doctor, but, uh, he sold idols. That's what he did for a living. One day his father's away and Abraham smashes the idols. And, uh, the, uh, it was because they didn't mean anything. And so the, uh, he said, it doesn't make sense. If I could smash the idols, how could I worship them? So he said Oh, maybe the sun is the— is God, but the sun sets. So maybe the moon is God, but the moon disappears every month. Then he said, maybe there's something above the moon and the sun and the stars and so on. In other words, they're trying to say, in the way I am, even Abraham made the first overture to God, not God to Abraham. That's, that's the Jewish view. I don't hold it to be the Muslim or Christian view, but that is the Jewish view. God communicates with those who initiate communication. He— God does not out of nowhere, ex nihilo, initiate communication. And so that makes, that makes the stairway coming from Earth to me very Jewishly and humanly understandable. God's— God is there, verse 13, and he says I am the God, I am Jehovah, God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac, which is of course interesting how Abraham is described as his father when Isaac is his father. But, but obviously it's, it's your, your first father, as it were. The land that you are lying on I will give to you and to your seed. Your descendants will be as dust of the earth. In other words, as numerous as the dust of the earth. It could sound like a curse. The world will trod all over you. You shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants, just as God had blessed the patriarchs previously. Remember, I am with you. I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. Now this comes into what you and I were discussing prior to the, uh, to getting back into the text, and that is divine intervention. What does God in fact do for every one of you? It says here God will protect you So if God is going to protect Jacob, why won't he protect every one of you, right? Here Maimonides gives the answer that, that has been normative Judaism, and that is that God will— God has certain people who have a specifically divine role, and that God will protect them in order for the divine role to be played out. Okay, they are not to be used as models for, for the rest of us. That every one of us is protected, because it can't be. Because we are, we are in plane crashes, we are hit by drunk drivers, we get cancer, and so on. So it does not contradict what God is saying to Jacob, does not contradict the notion that God doesn't protect you from all infirmity. And even here it says, I won't leave you until I have done what I have promised you. There's, there's a specific reason that I'm with you. It's to achieve this particular promise. Okay, verse 16. By the way, it's only Moses who was dealt with directly, fully awake by God directly. This again is a dream where God is communicating in the case of Jacob. Verse 16. Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, surely God— now he uses God's pronoun here, Jehovah— surely God is in this place and I didn't know it. It's a fascinating little statement. How could Jacob not know it? The answer is that universal monotheism is an unbelievably radical idea in human history. Even the patriarchs who had to carry the belief didn't know it all themselves. God is universal. Every god on earth is— was local. You understand? Canaanites had their gods. Gilgamites had their gods. Mesopotamians had their gods. Babylonians had their gods. You left the place, you left the god. He left his father And lo and behold, he's here too. Isn't that amazing? You see the development of people being able to live with a monotheistic idea. It's a radical notion. You can't see God, and yet God is everywhere. Wow, I didn't know that. God is here in the middle of nowhere. No, it's an incredibly exciting thing that he must have come across. This is totally different. I can't, I can't even give you a modern analogy to the radical nature of the Jewish notion of this Torah notion of God. Invisible, unknowable, well, unknowable in any empirical sense, and morally demanding and universal. God is the God of everyone, not just the God of Abraham and Isaac. God is everywhere. But certainly this is the first statement, and it's beautiful. It's very human. That Jacob can't believe this. Wow, God is here too. And he, uh, he was afraid, which you would be too. What was he afraid of is an interesting question. He's probably afraid because it's a very awe-inspiring thing to meet God in your dream and to find out that God is everywhere and you can't escape God and so on. Others hold that there might be another reason because he might think that God is not happy with what he did for the birthright. That's another possibility. Let me read to you what Sarna says on, uh, "Surely God is in this place." The reaction of amazement is unprecedented in the patriarchal stories. Neither Abraham nor Isaac exhibit any surprise at their initial experience of God's sudden self-revelation. Jacob's exceptional emotional response requires explanation. Undoubtedly, it lies at least partially in his realization of the baseness of his behavior toward his father and brother. He must have been beset with feelings of complete and deserved abandonment by God and man. Having fallen prey to guilt and solitary despair, he is surprised that God is still concerned for him. I don't agree. I just wanted to read you how one person reacts. I believe it is far broader than his worry about what he had done vis-à-vis his father. I think it's because he was shocked to find out that God is all over the place, that which is what I just explained. You can pick whichever one you want, but I just wanted to read you a different reasoning as to why he was filled with trepidation and awe and shock. His is a very personal one. Mine is the, the, the, a more macro one, that he was just shocked that God is everywhere. God was not a very well-known idea at the time of Jacob. How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven, which of course is wrong. It's not the abode of God. God's abode is everywhere. He drew the wrong conclusion. Oh, God is here. Instead of saying, oh, God is everywhere, he said, ah, God is here, and this is the gateway to God. Jacob is the most— of all the figures outside of perhaps Joseph, we see the development of a person more with Jacob than anybody else. This is pretty primitive thinking. Oh, God is here too, so this must be the big spot. But it's not true. We now know, but we live thousands of years later. But it is very interesting to see what conclusion he draws from God being there, that this is where the gateway to, uh, to the heaven must, must go, because this is where I had a gateway dream. Verse 18, and, uh, He got up early in the morning. They all get up early in the morning, as you recall. It's clear one of the reasons I could not be a patriarch. And he took the, uh, the stone that he had put under his head, and he made it into a pillar, and he poured oil on the top of it. And he called the name Beit El, House of God. That's what Bethel means, House of God, or Beit El. And previously the name of the city had been Luz. And here comes the very toughest part by far of this chapter. Jacob then made a vow saying— this is really problematic, folks— if God remains with me, if he protects me on this journey that I am making and gives me bread to eat and clothing to wear, And if I return safe to my father's house, God, Lord, or Jehovah will be my God. And this stone which I have set up as a pillar shall be God's abode. And of all that you give me, I will set aside a tithe for you. It's, it's confusing and difficult on so many levels. Let's start with the simplest level. Not even how does he make a deal with God— that's the big issue that I want to talk about, deals with God— but on a very simple logical level, God just promised them all these, so what is he making a vow? If you give me all these things, it, it doesn't— on, on just that level alone, it doesn't make full sense. It's as if I'd say to you, listen, I promise that I am going to, uh, I'm going to take care of you and your kids. And then you say, okay, listen, if you take care of me and my kids— I just told you I'm taking care of you and your kids. Do you understand the problem? It is such a big problem to the rabbis of the Talmud that one rabbi says that the Torah got the order wrong, that he made the vow before the dream. That is how troubling it was to some of the rabbis Number 1, the logic, but number 2, and far more important to them, since there is a certain real sanctification of the patriarchs, how could he do this? How could the guy make this deal with God? Hey, you do this for me and I'll do this for you. Then I'll believe in you. I mean, do you realize what that sounds like? This is Jacob, our patriarch, talking like this? This is reason 8077 why I love the Torah. Because it gives it to you straight. This is not saintly talk. This is deal-making. But I find myself again, through absolutely no original intention, defending Jacob. And I want— I've thought this thing through a lot. There are a number of interesting things here. First of all, let's deal with the issue. We make a deal with God. Normally, as I have heard it from people, it is this: I will be religious and I will be faithful to God, and then God will protect me and my loved ones from tragedy. That is how I have heard people say it. I wrote an article on this which I beg you to read in, in my journal Ultimate Issues. It's called Can We Make Deals with God? And I'll tell you exactly how it happened. I was speaking to an Orthodox, an ultra-Orthodox in fact, audience in London for Orthodox Jews in London about 2, 3 years ago. And a man got up after the talk that I gave. I don't even remember the subject anymore, but I do remember the man's question. He said— and you have to understand, it's a very, very Orthodox— so Orthodox that even for the lecture it was separate seating, male, female. Okay, he says, Mr. Prager, I have a question. Dennis Prager. Why does God allow people who keep Shabbos, who keep kosher, keep the Sabbath, keep the law, the dietary laws, strictly observe the Torah— how does it happen that they get so sick or they lose a child? Well, I have been asked this question about good people suffering as long as I've been lecturing, and I've given all sorts of answers. And for whatever reason, it It just hit me that day to answer the question with a question and to be as directly honest as possible. I said, "Wait a minute, I'm just curious. Do I infer correctly from your question that you believe that if a Jew observes the Torah really well, he or she should somehow be protected from cancer?" And he said, "Yes." And I was absolutely— I was dumbstruck. I thought in 20 years of lecturing I had heard everything. I had never heard that. I couldn't believe it. So I figured maybe this guy is just a unique chap. And I said to the group, I said, "Well, I'm just curious, how many of you feel as he does?" And almost every hand went up. And I go, you mean to tell me you think because you observe the Sabbath so assiduously according to all the regulations that somehow you have a less chance of cancer than another Jew? And I, I was just taken aback. And I realized that a substantial portion of Jews, and I am certain non-Jews, because I raised this on the radio when it happened, when I came back from England. And Christians also, a lot felt, well, they'll, they'll do this following acts of, uh, that God wants, that Jesus wants, and that they will be recompensed for it in this world. I believe we're recompensed, but that's a separate subject which maybe I'll get into in a moment. But not in this world. I don't believe for a moment that all the good that I do, or think I do I don't want to be arrogant. All the good I think I do and all the religious laws that I observe make me less likely a candidate to be hit by a drunk driver. As the woman asked earlier about the two beautiful men walking to synagogue last Saturday, hit by this woman driving. I don't believe it for a minute. That's the normal deal that people think they can make. I'll act A, you God deliver B. Notice Jacob does not do that. Jacob says, God, you do the following, then I'll do the following. Who is the burden on in the first instance? The one from London. The burden is on God. I will act in such a way, then the burden is on you to deliver. Notice who Jacob's burden is on. It's on himself. God, if you do the following, then I will do the following. Once this happens, I will do the following. My— if I said to God, God, listen, if you keep me in good health, I promise to make a great case for your existence at Oxford University. Okay, what if I made that deal with God? Is that a wrong deal? No, for the following reason: if I'm in miserable health, I won't be able to do it. In, in other words, God, in order for me to do the work that I wish to do, you have to enable me to do it. I can't do it if I can't speak. I can't do it if I'm dead. I think there is a different sort of deal there. God, if you give me this, then I'll do this. But my biggest defense of Jacob lies in translation. I deeply believe that it is incorrectly translated because the if clause is cut at the wrong point. And my Hebrew is excellent, and others have read it this way, and I will show you how even not knowing Hebrew, it makes sense. Notice this: Jacob made a vow saying— we're in now 20— if God remains with me and protects me on this journey— I'm just checking Hebrew and English— that I am now embarking on or walking on, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and I will return in peace to my father's house. You now have that as the end of the if clause, correct? You with me? What will I do then if you do that, if God does that? God will be my God. The Lord will be my God. This stone which I set up as a pillar will be God's abode. And of all you give me, I'll set aside a tithe for you. Okay, there is absolutely no way to know from the Hebrew where the if clause ends, because all it does is have the word vi, which is not a word, it's a letter added to a word. Which means 'and.' I will translate to you literally verse 21: 'And I will return in peace to my father's house, and God will— and Jehovah, or the Lord, will be for me as God, and this rock which I put—' and so on. You with me? They're all 'ands.' Every one is 'and.' It's totally up to the translator where to drop the 'and' and make the, the reward for the, for the 'if,' the vow of the 'if.' Am I totally clear to all of you? If you give me— and therefore, and therefore, how can it then be read? Very simply. Jacob then made a vow, saying, if God remains with me, if he protects me on this journey that I'm making, If he gives me bread to eat and clothing to wear, if I return safe to my father's house, and if God— and the Lord will be my God, then this stone which I've set up as a pillar shall be God's abode. It depends. To use the word 'then' is totally up to the translator, and I have to tell you I think that the word 'then' belongs after 'and God,' or 'the Lord will be my God.' I mean, otherwise you have to assume the guy's an idiot. God just appeared to him. Obviously God is his God. Who's he talking about? If God will do this and God will do that and God will do this, then God will be my God. But if God doesn't do any of that, then who is God? He doesn't have any other relationship with God. And he had already just heard the promises anyway. So he's saying, now if you do all these things and you are really going to be my God, then I will set this place up as a, as an abode for you, and I will tithe and so on. Listen, I'm not thrilled with his vow. I don't think it's sophisticated theology. I don't think that way. But this is again a man who has just been made aware that God exists outside of his father's house. This is a very simple monotheist. He's learning now what is going on here.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

So I think that the word then belongs later. Do you have any, any reaction to that? Any Yes.

I, I the whole time didn't have a problem with it either. First of all, um, the first part was in a dream, and, uh, like you say, this is really his first feeling that, you know, maybe there is a God here. I better reinforce what I think I dreamt, and if there really is a God here, I better say this out loud so God can really hear me, and I'll proposition him, say, if you're really here and you do these things for me, uh, you know, then I will have understood. Yes, good.

That's right. It's not, it's not that obvious, right? I agree. That's why I didn't, I didn't agree with the rabbi who had this problem that he had to— such a problem that he had to put this before the dream, the vow, and then the dream. I think you could have a dream. First of all, also, it helps you understand something. Didn't you ever wonder, how could anybody talked to by God ever violate God's will, right? I mean, none of you, to the best of my knowledge, have had a direct revelation from God, okay? I mean, I'm just assuming that. And, and for us— and I haven't either— for us to obey God is an act in some ways of faith. But what if God actually came to you? Well, I mean, don't you often think that if God came to me and said I want you to do X. Wouldn't you do X? My God, if God said it to me, certainly, anytime. What else would you like? That's the— that's how we think. Obviously though, God's appearance, which is what you were saying, and it's very accurate, is not that obvious. This was after all a dream, and it's made clear that it's a dream, and the guy's not certain. And so, so now he gets up and he says, well, wait a minute, I'll act as if it's real, but here is the way I, I need to do it. Okay, I'm taking your word for it. I will do all these things and you will be my God, and then this will be an abode for you, and I will tithe. And what does the tithing mean? I'm gratitude. I will thank you for having done this. But it helps you understand how people who meet God can then violate God's will. It's always been a puzzle to me. It's much harder for us who don't meet God than for the people who do meet God. But meeting God is not as obvious. Let me give you another example. How did the Jews getting out of Egypt build a golden calf after the 10 plagues, after mana from heaven gives them a meal every day, and after the splitting of the sea. I mean, my God, if God just made this room cool right now, I would be— enough for me, right? I mean, that would be a miracle, and I would be, and I would be, uh, quite convinced that God would have done it. The proof of it all— I'll come to you in a moment— the proof of it all is even if you have miracles done to you, you know what your reaction is the next day? What'd you do for me lately? That is human reaction. Oh well, God split the sea then, but what'd he do today? And that is the way people will react. That is why I am convinced when people say, well, give me some evidence God exists, I think there's a ton of evidence. But even if I said, okay, what would you like God to do? How about— and I've used this, you know— how about if God had the walls of this room start to spin around us and sing Hava Nagila. Because that's pretty miraculous, I would think. There is no doubt in my mind you would all be very moved for an hour. And by next week you would be back to exactly the same lifestyle you were at prior to seeing the walls of this room start singing. It would have lost its impact. That is human nature.

Yes, maybe everything to them was more miraculous anyway. I mean, we're a pretty jaded group here. If the wall started spinning, I'd say, hey, this is something different. But maybe back in that time, everything was a miracle.

I mean, anything that happened was unusual or new or— right. She's saying that in that time, people saw more miracles, the hand of God, more readily than we, who are more jaded. I think that's very true. But again, they're the ones who built— but even so, they're the ones who built the the golden calf. Even that all said, sir back there, yes. Yes, you're making it—

if God will do this, you will do that.

I think it's the other way around. You can make a commitment to God, but God will not make a commitment to you. Oh, well, you're saying that, uh, that as a rule we can make commitments to God, but God doesn't necessarily make commitment to us. That's— I don't have a problem with that, that I was merely— or I'm against all deals with God in no matter what direction. So you don't have a problem with me, you have a problem with dealmakers. That's not a deal. You wish to have something, you make a commitment to God and hope that it will come back.

It may come back not in the exact form that you want, right?

But that's— that, uh, yes, what you're speaking of is prayer than commitment. But yes, I— you, you pray that something will happen the way you want it. That's a fair statement. So anyway, this is Jacob's vow. It's a problematic thing to begin with. I just do want to say the following though about vows, about making deals with God. This will be of particular interest to Jews, and I know there are a lot of non-Jews here, but I think you'll find this of interest as well, but it's a specifically Jewish point. Jewish law is divided into two groups classically. In other words, this is not my division, it's Judaism's own division. Laws between a person and God, laws between a person and another person. What's an example of each? Law between a person and God is keeping the Sabbath. Laws between two a person is not stealing, not lying, not cheating, not killing, not murdering. Right? Clear? My argument against those Jews who want God to reward them for keeping the laws between man and God is that you're asking for a double reward. The reward of keeping the laws between between man and God, as they're called, is the keeping of the law. The reward of keeping the Sabbath is that you have a Sabbath. If you don't see it that way, then you have a very unhappy religious life and an unhealthy one. If you truly say, I rather not I keep the Sabbath because I don't enjoy it, it's difficult, and I'm only doing it because I will get a reward, I would argue don't do it. Do only so much as you believe is a, is a reward. I give a secular example. It's like saying if I learn a computer program, make a great deal of effort to learn a computer program, I then want a reward from God. Or I want then a reward from my company. But the reward for learning a computer program is that you now can use a computer. The reward is intrinsic. I have a feeling, and this is a late discovery in my life, that a lot of religious people in any religion keep up a lot of religious laws law or practice or demands but don't enjoy doing so. And that's a serious problem. And that is why I realized, if all these people raise their hand that if they keep the Sabbath and the dietary laws, then they should be protected from cancer, that clearly they weren't enjoying keeping these laws, that there was no inherent benefit. The only benefit had to be an extrinsic one. An external one of God coming in and saying, I'll keep you healthy. Is that clear? That's what I divide between healthy religion and unhealthy religion. Those who do what they do not because it is— it brings them meaning and joy, but because solely it will bring them reward in this world. Then I would have to argue these people clearly, by definition, do not gain anything from doing it, because if they gained something from doing it, they wouldn't be such pigs and expect a double reward.

Yes. I think maybe a lot of that comes from how it's taught, because when my brother first started studying Mormonism, he said to me, "Oh, it's so weird. You have to say a prayer every time you see anything, when you see a sunset, when you see the ocean." and you see a beautiful woman who's taking prayers all the time. And I thought, God, that's too much. And now I see it as, it's the moment that we give ourselves appreciation and the kind of a prayer that is joy and appreciation. But if the rabbis teach it to you in the other way, then it becomes a drag.

Yeah, this is so important. And for those of you who are thinking of embarking on a more religious life, this is a very important guideline, I think. She's saying that when— was it your brother, you said— when he was starting to learn bar mitzvah, his bar mitzvah rabbi had taught him about all the blessings. You say if you see a beautiful sunrise, if you, uh, for food, for all sorts. There are, there are also, I mean, there are blessings in Judaism, as I often mention. After you relieve yourself in the bathroom, there is a thank you prayer about having all the orifices that should open open and all the orifices that Open, close, close, and so on. That's a very astute prayer, because if you've had an orifice that should open, close, you know it's not a good thing. And so you become very grateful when they open on time and close on time. And that is exactly what the prayer says. So, uh, you said though that you think the problem is the way it's taught, that you've now— you thought it was a burden in the beginning, and now it comes to be a very beautiful thing. To say this benediction, a blessing, at those times. Oh my God, right. Your brother said, oh my God, all these burdens. Religion, like learning a computer software, is a burden in the beginning. But I will tell you this: if you study a computer program for 2 years and you learn to use it, and you find that in fact it doesn't do what it was meant to do you. There's something wrong with the program, or there's something wrong in the way you use it. But something is wrong. And I would argue to a religious person, if after being religiously active for X number of years it is all burden and, and no joy, do less. I, I— because something is wrong either in it or in you or the chemistry of you and it. This isn't fully traditional, I understand, because after all, if God commanded it, you do it whether you like it or not. I believe that's true with ethics. Whether you like it or not, you shouldn't lie. Whether you like it or not, you shouldn't be deceptive, and you shouldn't murder, and you shouldn't steal, and, and, and, and you name, you name it in the laws between people. That's true whether you like it or not. But, but not between the laws between person and God. I think there comes a point where with diminishing returns you should take— you should take a break. And then I think you end up regarding it as a far greater gift, and then you really thank God. That's why I say if a Jew really does the Sabbath right and then one week doesn't observe it, ideally he misses it. She misses it. It's, as one rabbi once put, a Sabbath I don't observe is a lost opportunity for me to have a Sabbath. And so that's what I would argue with regard to deals. Anyway, he made a thing. They are going to pass a law on car alarms one day. I am for capital punishment for those who do that, but I don't want to get into that right now. or at least life imprisonment having to listen to car alarms. Okay, we have a Jacob who doesn't know where God is all the time. We have a Jacob who is, who is making these, these vows. Chapter 29, Jacob resumes resumed his journey, and it's a great— the Hebrew is great. You know what the Hebrew is? Jacob lifted his legs. It's so much richer than resumed his journey. By the way, this is one of my proofs for my understanding of the third commandment: do not take God's name in vain uses the same verb as is used here. It doesn't mean do not take God's name in vain, it means do Do not carry God's name in vain, which is another explanation I give when I teach it. But I want you to know that the verb is the same as here. He lifted or carried his legs. He had to force himself, as it were. And he, uh, and he moved, came to the land of the Easterners. There before his eyes was a well in the open. Three flocks of sheep were lying there beside it, for the flocks were watered from that well. The stone on the mouth of the well was large. When all the flocks were gathered there, the stone would be rolled from the mouth of the well and the sheep watered. Then the stone would be put back in its place on the mouth of the shell— of the well. Excuse me. Jacob said to them, my friends, where are you from? And they said, we are from Haran. He didn't know where he was. Jacob. We are from Haran. This is where he was headed, right? He said to them, do you know Laban the son of Nahor? And they said, yes, we do. And he continued, is he well? They answered, yes, he is. And there is his daughter Rachel coming with the flock. Sound a little, uh, memory jolt here, a little déjà vu with Rebecca at the well earlier. And you will see Moses at the well later. Very important things happen at wells. Of course, in ancient times there wasn't many other places to have interesting things happen. It's not like, you know, they met at the theater and they discussed it afterwards at a restaurant. He said— sorry, it's the water cooler, a water cooler analogy. Yes, he said, uh, it is still broad daylight, too early to round up the animals. Water the flock and take them to pasture. He chided them, which is very interesting. And the rabbis in the Midrash have a very good point here. They say, there's a guy comes upon total strangers and tells them to do something ethical. And the lesson he said is, no one should ever say, it's none of my business, when it comes to ethics. I tell you, one of the saddest things in our society is that people walk around with thinking nothing is their business. One of the things I remember, I don't know if it's still done, but I'll never forget, it's still much more so. Israel is of course a much smaller place, more homogeneous, and therefore it's more likely. But I remember, for example, when a guy went through a red light in the Jerusalem light once, and I saw just all the stand— people standing by start yelling at him. And it was such a great feeling. People say you don't do that. Now, Israeli— to use Israeli drivers as an example is about as silly as one can get, but that's— I'm not using the drivers as an example, I'm using the pedestrian's reaction. And where you just don't let that happen. How often are you in a situation where you will see, for example, somebody was telling me they were in a store, and I don't remember the story at all in detail, but just saw someone terribly mistreated, terribly mistreat the people. It was a drugstore, and they terribly— person terribly mistreated the people who were giving the prescriptions. And finally she spoke up on behalf of a total stranger, said, why do you— something— why are you giving them such a hard time? It's not right. How often do you do that? It's very rare that people do that. That's right, that's a very serious problem, and I acknowledge that. She said, "We might get shot." This is— that, by the way, is what I say— that when I say, which I always say, that crime is the most serious problem in our society by far, there is not a close number 2, That's exactly part of the reason, because the victims of crime are far more than the direct victim. The whole society suffers because we can't be as good as we want for fear that somebody will do something like that. Not to mention all the locks we do and all the privacy and that you can't walk out after certain hours. There is a de facto curfew in urban America. There's a curfew. On pedestrians. It's a tragedy. It's evil. And that's an example. The question is, do we let them win? Now, you also— there's another question is you have to take the risk, I think, with some degree of common sense. The likelihood that that person was gonna pull out a gun in the drugstore is minimal. It exists, but it's minimal. I still think it's worth our doing. To live in a society where we can't not to speak up for a fellow human being is not to live. And so that's why this is an important thing. He just speaks up, as by the way Moses did at the well Tus. He got up on behalf of a stranger, the daughters of Jethro. Taking care of strangers and animals is a big theme in the Torah. So they said, 'We can't until all the flocks are rounded up. Then the stone is rolled off the mouth of the well and we water the sheep.' While he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father's flock, for she was a shepherdess. And when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of his uncle Laban, and the flock of his uncle Laban, Jacob went up and rolled the stone off the mouth of the well and watered the flock of his uncle Laban. Clearly, at least in ancient times, the way to a girl's heart was through her sheep. Then Jacob kissed Rachel and broke into tears. He makes a very interesting point, Sarna. Listen to this. This is the only instance in a biblical narrative of a man kissing a woman who is neither his mother nor his wife. This is it. And of course, it is always considered to have been a very innocent kiss, but in light of the fact that he fell in love with her at first sight, I don't know if it was 100% innocent. At any rate, she might have thought it was. And by the way, I don't mean that the opposite of innocent is guilty. I just don't mean innocent as in platonic. Okay. Yes, that's correct. No, that's right. In fact, he was sent there to marry someone in that family. That's right. Jacob told Rachel, verse 12, that he was her father's kinsman, that he was Rebecca's son. And she ran and told her father. On hearing the news of his sister's son Jacob, Laban realized that he could make a great deal and have a slave for 21 years. Just joking, that is not in the text. He embraced Laban, ran to greet him, he embraced him and kissed him and took him into his house. He told Laban all that had happened And Laban said to him, "You are truly my bone and flesh." When he had stayed with him a month's time, Laban said to Jacob, "Just because you're a relative, should you serve me for nothing?" Apparently the whole month he had already been working. So he was put to work very rapidly upon visiting Uncle Lab. And he tells him, "Tell me, what should your wages be?" Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older one was Leah, and the name of the younger one was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes. This is a very famous thing about Leah having weak eyes. It's, it's, it could be weak eyes, and it, it could, but I think better is soft eyes, uh, which, so it could mean one of two things because look, it's counter It's counterposed to Rachel. Rachel was shapely and beautiful. Now, it could mean weak eyes means she just wasn't pretty, right? Or it could mean soft eyes and that, that's all she had. She had soft eyes, there was a softness, but Rachel was a beauty. That's, you understand, again, is a possible— I don't think weak eyes meant she was ugly. It would say ugly. Torah is very direct. I think it is. She had soft eyes. That was her, that was her claim to fame, as it were. That's how I read it. Maybe I just don't want to believe that she was ugly, but whatever it is, that's, that's— they're certainly counterposed in their differing beauties. And shockingly, absolutely shockingly, verse 18, um, Jacob loved Rachel. Right after it describes who was beautiful. Wouldn't it have been funny if it said, she had weak eyes, Rachel was gorgeous, and he loved Leah? Didn't work out that way. Life is not fair, which is a separate issue for another time on God and fairness. Jacob loved Rachel, so he, so he answered I will serve you 7 years for your younger daughter Rachel. Laban said, better that I give her to you than I should give her to an outsider. Which is— you want an answer? I mean, think about it for a second. Well, okay, better you than somebody I don't know, but you know, but it's like I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel to have you. That, I mean, it's an incredible response when you think about it. Not like, that would be wonderful, you're wonderful to have. Well, better you than an outsider. I think it's so funny when you, when you think about these things as real live dialogue. So, uh, Laban is a real character, as you will note. And better I give you that an outsider— stay with me. So Jacob served 7 years for Rachel, and they seemed to him— this is such a beautiful poetic thing seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. By the way, it is so true about men. You know, it is often said when you think romantic, men are in some ways more frighteningly romantic than women. I think women, you always think romance, women think of romance, and they do obviously, but in terms of blinded, sheer blinded and fantasy life in and so on. Men are guiltier, and especially young men, and especially with looks. And so it's probably true, this guy just every day went and went back to his tent and fantasized Rachel. And the thing went 7 years waiting for gorgeous Rachel was like a few days. And old men too, it's added in the front row, and that is extremely accurate. And, uh, verse, uh, That's good. But yeah, well, I will talk about that another time. The, uh, but a few days, 21, that Jacob said to Laban, give me my wife, for my time is fulfilled, so I can cohabit with her. And Laban gathered all the people of the place and made a feast. When evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to him. His daughter Leah. And brought her to him, and he cohabited with her. Laban had given— this is now a parenthetical statement— given his maidservant Zilpah to his daughter Leah as her maid. Now, what I always, as a child and now, find fascinating is how did he not know it? Yeah, now, well, the only thing I can tell you is the reason we ask that question is because we live with light. We have artificial lighting. How many of you have ever been in a third world place where there was no, no electricity? Very few. 3 people. I have, and it is an entirely different experience. You govern your life by the sunset and the sunrise. I would go to bed at 7 o'clock and wake up at 5:00 because there was nothing to do, A, at night, and B, it's pitch dark, especially if there's no moon. So he's in a tent, and there's a very good chance there's no moon. And, you know, they, they had apparently not talked very much, or he was just not a talker, or when you're waiting 7 years, you don't talk no matter who it is, which is probably the bigger truth of it all. You know, hey, 7 years, we can talk later, is probably the way he felt after— poor guy, 7 years. And but it is a fascinating thing, isn't it, that he didn't go, hey, wait a minute, this is not Rachel. But he didn't until the morning, which means it had to be by sight. He obviously couldn't know the difference sexually. The only way would be the sight of the face. And so it's a fascinating thing, the power of the— of, of not seeing, of not having light. Yes.

What do you think about Jacob being tricked after he tricked his—

oh well, this is the whole point. What do I think about Jacob being tricked after he had done a trick? That's the whole point of this. That's what I kept saying earlier. There are consequences to the way we behave. That's the lesson of Genesis, of this part of Genesis. That as you act, so there will be act. Not in a karma sense, not in the cosmic, but that— yes, in somewhat of a cosmic sense, things come back. And I think we can all— I think most of us would, would verify they don't come back with great evil. That's the one thing I want you to understand which confuses people. If you— how, how could a Nazi mass murderer ever have what was done to him come back to him? Right? It just— there is a level of evil wherein life cannot recompense. That is true. But for normal life, the cheat does get cheated. The shrewd one gets outshrewded at some point. That does happen. And so it is a fascinating lesson, and it also is a lesson for him to learn. Hey, wait a minute, now you know how it feels. And so As it happens, and I want to just finish this chapter so that we could start a new one next time. And, uh, morning came, verse 25. There was Leah. So he said to Laban, what is this you've done to me? I was in your service for Rachel. Why did you deceive me? Can you not imagine for a second— you imagine for a second that it did not occur to him the very words that he was uttering Uh-oh. I mean, it is so— it was poetic justice, as we say. Why did you deceive me, cheat me? Laban said, hey, hey, you may not see that part. It is not— hey, it's not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the older. Again, also a play on this thing, young and old. Hey, there are, you know, We'll let you have the younger, but it doesn't quite work the way you had it work in your case, where you just come in as the younger and take over what the older does. There are rules, young man, right? There are younger-older rules, and we play by them, unlike you. Now, I know Laban didn't know it, but I'm just saying that's what the Torah is putting in parentheses. Unlike you, we have younger-older rules. Wait until the bridal week of this one is over. And will give you that one too. He's a charmer, Laban, the way he speaks. Provided you serve me another 7 years. Hey, listen, if the first 7 were like a couple of days, what's a couple of days more, right? Jacob did so. He waited out the bridal week of the one, and then he gave him his daughter Rachel as wife. And again, parentheses, this time it was Bilhah given to Rachel as her maid. And Jacob cohabited with Rachel also. Indeed, he loved Rachel more than Leah, and he served him another 7 years. That's how I said earlier, 21 years. By the way, wherever men are married to 2 women that I know of in the Tanakh, in the whole Hebrew Bible, it is shown to be a bad thing and that one is more loved than the other. The Torah permitted polygamy, but it always depicted it as awful. Okay, it's a very important thing to, to recognize. There is no such thing as loving the two wives equally and everybody being happy. Humans don't work that way. It's only in theory. Yes, two women in one kitchen. The woman who noted about the older men earlier is noting about This is my Rashi. And Jacob, oh yes, 31, the Lord saw that Leah was unloved and he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. God came across, as it were, just like in a certain sense earlier with Abraham, right? And Leah conceived and bore a son, named him Reuven, for she declared, 'It means the Lord has seen my affliction. It also means now my husband will love me.' Isn't that— isn't that sad? It's really— it's very powerfully powerful and sad. She conceived again and bore a son, declaring, 'This is because God heard that I was unloved and has given me this one also.' So she named him Shimon, from shama, which is to hear. Again she conceived and bore a son and declared, this time my husband will become attached to me, for I have borne him 3 sons. I mean, the pathos of this is very deep, isn't it? How yearning for his love. Maybe it'll be because I keep giving him sons and then he'll become attached to me. Therefore he was named Levi. She conceived again and bore a son and declared, 'This time I will praise the Lord.' So I guess she gave up on his love and just praised the Lord. Therefore she named him Judah, and then she stopped bearing. I think that there is another implicit thing here, and that is that arranged marriages like Laban did aren't a good thing, that you should choose your spouse. You shouldn't be given away, and you shouldn't be taken sight unseen. You're right. I mean, think about it. In the case earlier, uh, where, where they were sent to find Rebecca, then it was to choose. There was a choosing that was going on. Here are the signs that will be correct, that would make a good wife. In this case, it's just Laban said, hey, in our society, the older daughter gets married first. It's interchangeable. That's why he didn't even use her name. Remember earlier I called him a charmer? It's when he said, this one and that one. He didn't even give them names because they weren't real. I think that there was an implicit attack here on the traditional family structure of children as owned by parents and do not have a say in whom they marry because it comes out so awfully. Leah didn't want it, Jacob didn't want it, Laban arranged it. But that's how it is done to this day in parts of the, of the Eastern world, and it's not a good thing. Romantic love or choice of the young person is filled with with danger. Are you mature enough to make the right choice? You've been blinded by lust or passion or some silliness. It's all true, but it beats, we'll give you this one because the laws in our society says this is the way it goes. That turned out to be an awful and tragic marriage as it's described here. I think it's a very powerful message too. Okay, uh, she raises a real great question which is worthy of its own session. I'll just be very brief. She says, "Well, if I say arranged marriages weren't good, people choose today and 50% of them end up divorced." And of course, the other 50% aren't always wonderful, they just didn't divorce. Some of them are awful and don't divorce. You're absolutely right, and the question then becomes, the question in life really becomes one of, do you prefer freedom or security? My friend Bruce Hershenson— and I will not make a political statement— but my friend Bruce Hershenson summarizes his outlook, political outlook on life, is that there are those who prefer security and there are those who prefer freedom. If the arranged marriage worked, I would say then there would be an argument, but it didn't work. And I rather therefore err on the side of free choice than on the side of arrangement. I think you're right. I think that society should train people on how to choose good partners. But the amount of garbage, psychological garbage, people bring to marriage, the choice is so rare or so frequently it is not made even consciously, but subconsciously, but things that are being worked out from one's upbringing, that I'm almost tempted to pass a law that you may not have a child in your first marriage for 5 years. Then if it's good, go right ahead. But that ideally people will all start with their second marriage because so much nonsense is worked left out in the first one. And it's a— so your point is well taken. But then I think of— I have some optimism, and it's thanks to, uh, it's, it's the attitude that a dear friend of mine who's a psychiatrist, Steve Marmor— I call it the Marmor Law— said the only hope for society is that we will all raise our children with 50% of the neuroses we got from our parents, and that if we all each keep having it One day it'll be pretty healthy, the world.

On tomorrow's Sunday Fireside Chat.

Hello, my name is Emily Martinson and I'm 18 years old. I'm enrolled at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. And my question is, in what ways has the Democratic Party become more extreme in their views?

In every way.

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