Parents Can't Articulate Their Values - Sunday Fireside Chat

Hey there, this is Marissa Streit. I am the CEO of PragerU, and you are about to listen to a special edition of Fireside Chat with Dennis Prager. Those of us here at PragerU are continuing to do the very important work that we've been doing with him for over 10 years. We are educating millions of young people online. We have state partnerships to bring our content into schools and so much more. You can head over to PragerU.com to see the progress that we've been making. Also, I'd love to invite you to support our mission by donating to our 501(c)(3). It is a nonprofit. Your tax-deductible donation will go to an institution of higher learning that actually shares your values. So enjoy your podcast and thank you so much for all your support.

Hi everybody, I'm Dennis Prager. This is really my house. This is not a set. If it were a set, as I often tell you, it would look, I think, a lot nicer. A lot neater and nicer. So this is my home. This is what a lot of guys who come in here call my man cave, but it's not really my man cave, even though it has cigars. God bless my wife. She sits here with me all the time while I write. We talk and I smoke my cigar. She has no problem with it. She hates cigarettes, by the way. Talking about a cigar, For so many of these, I smoked a cigar during this fireside chat, but for reasons that are perplexing to me, we're not allowed. Because what was it, the YouTube? Was that what it was? Facebook? Facebook? What am I, a bad example for America's youth? Hmm. God. To think, to think about what now constitutes good example or bad example, that the decency of a person is like a non-issue, but do they smoke a cigar is an issue. Oh well, anyway, I just want you to know I miss it. Many of you miss it. But what can we do? So anyway, it's a chance. It's completely unscripted. It's a chance for me to spontaneously talk to you, take your questions spontaneously, and just get to know each other a little better. But for at least to be more honest, to get you to know me a little better and, and what makes me tick. So I always begin with the subject and then I take your questions. So today's subject, courtesy of Megan, works for PragerU. How old are you, Megan? 25. So she had a, she had a very good question. How come there are so many parents whose kids have different values, even antithetical values, especially in the case of traditional parents like specifically traditionally religious Americans, whether they're Catholic or Jewish or Protestant, Evangelical, Mormon, and their kids have contempt for religion. Why does that happen? Where, so to speak, did the parents go wrong? Or, for example, parents who love America, who believe in its essential values, e pluribus unum, in God we trust, and liberty, and their kids have contempt for those values as well. How does that happen? Well, the most obvious answer is they went to school. I'm not against people going to school, I just want to be honest. The schools have been taken over by educators who call themselves progressive, people who were on the left, and their values are antithetical to traditional parents' values. You name the area and it's probably very different. That's the most obvious answer. As I have often told parents, sending your kid to most colleges in the United States or Canada or Europe, or certainly Western Europe, is playing Russian roulette with their values. Well, they have to go with a pretty, pretty strong value system to survive the onslaught against what they believe. Some kids do. Some kids are drunk for 4 years and they survive it because they were inebriated during class. I am not advocating that. I've never been drunk in my life. I am one of the 11 Americans who is allowed to drink. In other words, my— if you're a Mormon, you're not allowed to drink. You're Muslim, you're not allowed to drink. Okay, but I'm allowed to drink, but I just don't enjoy it. I'm not against it. If you, if you don't get drunk and you enjoy drinking, drink. I have no issue with that. But I'm not advocating that in college. I'm just saying it's one of the, it's one of the silver linings of being inebriated at college is that you may have missed the brainwash. Alright, so that's one obvious answer, school. And I'd like to give you a less obvious answer. People don't know how to articulate the values that people like I, people like me, hold. This is a huge problem. Go to college and you learn God is wishful thinking, Just to take, let's take a religious example. God is wishful thinking, the Bible is a fairy tale, God is completely unnecessary for a good life, religion is the greatest, people have, there's been more murder in the name of God and religion than anything else. These are normative teachings in our schools. By the way, just on the last one, This is worthy, if you would please, I'd like to talk about this issue. More people killed in the name of religion than anything else. I mean, just as a matter of just fact, in the 20th century, more people were slaughtered than in any century in the history of the world. And it was virtually all done, 99% of it was done by atheist and secular people. And I'm not saying secular people are murderers, or atheist murders. I'm just telling you it wasn't done in the name of religion. Communism, which is the greatest killer of humanity in the 20th century, was anti-religion. Nazism had nothing to do with a religion. Its symbol wasn't the cross. Its symbol was the swastika. If it had been a Christian movement, it would have had a cross as its symbol. Now, a lot of Christians went along with it, which is a terrible, terrible thing. It's one of the reasons Europe has rejected religion because Christianity largely failed during World War II. I'm sorry to say, it's a very painful subject. But anyway, just know that that's just not true, the "Oh, religion people." More true is more good has been done by Judeo-Christian religions than anything else. The, just look at all the hospitals built in the United States by Jews and Christians. Beth Israel here, and you know, the Methodist Hospital over there, and the Catholic Charity Hospital over here. I mean, that's certainly in American history, that's who did most of the good, religious people. In the name, by the way, of their religion. So what has happened? Parents have been unable to articulate what they believe. I'm not blaming the parents, I'm just telling you that that's what's happened. And if you can't articulate it, they will be persuaded— that is, the children at school— by people who can articulate the opposite value system. So you have the inarticulate traditional American versus the articulate anti-traditional American. Who's going to win in the lives and minds of so many young people? The articulate. I've spent my life articulating the traditional value system, both the American and the Judeo-Christian. That's why I beg you, and you know, I can't be accused of doing this for money. Nobody writes a Bible commentary to get wealthy. But what I have, what I am trying to do in my 5-volume commentary on the first 5 volumes, first 5 books of the Bible, called The Rational Bible, that's my commentary, is to, on purely rational grounds, make the case for the greatness of the Bible, for the essential nature of the Judeo-Christian value system, and how powerful it is. And read the reviews on Amazon. I have nothing to do with those reviews about how people came into it skeptical, agnostic, atheist. They've left their religion, and then this persuaded them on rational grounds of the greatness of biblical religion. People don't know how to make the case. If you don't know how to make the case, you're gonna lose out to the people who can make a case. I could give you so many examples. Is God necessary for morality? Well, I have a bunch of videos on that subject. If God didn't say do not murder, murder isn't wrong. That doesn't mean atheists kill. It's amazing. People are well-educated, but they can't think clearly. The fact that murder is not wrong if there is no God, it's just a personal opinion, it's just personal opinion that murder is wrong, doesn't mean that atheists will all murder. One has nothing to do with the other. And there are religious people who murder, I acknowledge that. That's not my argument. My argument is, only if there is something higher than humanity from which morality emanates is morality an objective reality. That's all. That's— but atheist professors, atheist philosophers know that. That morality is simply a matter of personal opinion if there isn't an objective source. That's all. It's not objective, it's subjective. That's the whole point that I want to make. Parents don't know how to make that argument. Give you another one. You know, I've asked this question over and over. Would you save your dog or a stranger first? Which would you save first, the dog or a stranger if both were drowning? So people answer, since I was a kid asking this question, I began lecturing in my 20s, and I asked then and I ask now, which would you save? Two-thirds would not save the stranger. Why? I love my dog, I don't love the stranger, I follow my heart, I follow love. But the biblical view is humans are created in God's image, animals are not, therefore humans are intrinsically more precious than animals. And if you don't have a biblical basis for that, humans aren't more precious than animals. My animal is more precious than the stranger. And then people again who don't know how to think clearly will say, well, what if a toddler drowning? Then it's not a stranger. That my whole point is it's a stranger. Right? For all you know, the stranger, I mean, I might as well say, what if the stranger is your uncle? But then it's not a stranger anymore. You can't change the question. So people have not been able to articulate the system to their children. I am in the baby boomer generation, so my parents' generation fought in World War II, right? They had two— they had two values that they had that were huge. They, they didn't want their children to suffer the of a depression like they did, that is economic depression, and they didn't want them to have war. That was it. They hated the Depression. They were right to. They hated war. They were right to. I got it. But that's not enough. They didn't articulate what they stood for. So this generation, which many call the greatest generation— there are many great generations. I don't think it's the greatest, but it was a great generation. This great generation did not know how to articulate its great values to its children. That's what happened. They said, and I remember as a kid, I was a kid in my 20s, I would say, you know, our parents— I didn't mean my parents. My parents did a good job giving me these values. But parents, my parents' generation would say, we will give our children everything we did not have when we were kids. Especially thinking material things and even peace. The problem is, and I said this in my 20s, the problem is you didn't give us what you did have when you were children. That's the problem. They didn't give them religion well. They didn't give them a love of America well. They assumed that they would have it through osmosis. But they would just imbibe it. But it's not true. I'll give you an example. Or here's another one. Parents think, a lot of parents say, you just have to provide your children with a model and that your children will model themselves after you. But that's not true. Think about music, which I always think about because I love music. Now let's say you are a great pianist and you're the mother of bunch of kids, or one kid, and you play the piano really well. Will your kid play the piano really well? Of course not. You could be the greatest model of piano playing in the world. You could be a world-class virtuoso. It won't matter. You have to give your kid piano lessons. We didn't give— that generation didn't give kids character lessons, didn't give kids America lessons, didn't give kids Religion lessons, maybe, you know, Sunday school. There's our guy. Is he in the photo? There he goes. Do you know that as soon as I start talking, he leaves? It's a good thing I have a good self-image because he is a humbling animal to have around. Every week this happens. I start, he was dead asleep before this started. You guys want to let him out or he's coming back? Are you coming back, Otto? How do you want to look in the camera and say hi to everybody? Hey, Otto! There we go. Do we have a nice view of him? That's the man. That is truly a face only a mother could love. I have to admit that. Or a father, in my case. All right, take a nap. Okay, all's good. This is the issue. Your kid won't play piano because you play piano, because you're a great model of piano playing. You got to give the kid music lessons. They didn't give them character lessons. In American history before the '50s, kids routinely got all these character lessons in school and schoolbooks and from their religion and from their parents. This is how you have to be honest. This is, you have to be, you have to have integrity. You have to have loyalty. You know, I just spoke at a religious school, this case Jewish. In Florida just last week. Yeah, that's right, since my last event with you. And what happened was amazing. I walk into the class with the principal of the school. It's an all-girls school. And all, I spoke from 6th grade to 12th grade, the entire school. And when we walked in, the girls all stood up. Now, I don't know if it was— do they stand up for every visitor who comes to speak? I don't know, but I'm sure they stand up for their principal. I mean, I did. I stood up when the principal walked in. Does that happen now? I mean, kids curse principals, kids curse teachers. There were prayers said for teachers in America until 1962 when the Supreme Court in the beginning of the end of the American value system. I date it to 1962 and the Supreme Court decision against voluntary prayer in school. It was always voluntary. And you know what the prayer was? It was the New York State Regents' Prayer. That's what it was called. And I don't remember it exactly, but it went something like, you know, oh God, please bless our parents and our teachers something like that. So kids, kids, I mean, is that a good thing to bless your teacher? Is that a good thing to have kids say, God bless my teachers? So how do you not expect them to take liberty? Half of millennials do not believe in free speech for, quote, hate speech. But that's the whole point of free speech, is for what you think is hate speech. It's no big deal to have free speech for speech you agree with. The point is to have free speech for speech you don't agree with. But the parents didn't teach them that value. Liberty. Remember liberty, e pluribus unum, and God we trust. The American Trinity. I have a video on it, 5 minutes, it's worth watching. Or my book on it. Still the best hope. Wasn't taught. So parents don't realize, oh my God, how did my kid end up this way? And the answer is because in so many instances they were not well taught in the other way. I'm not blaming you if you're a parent. I'm not blaming you. My heart goes out to you, actually. I met a man on a cruise. I take cruise with listeners. I have been for 25 years, all over the world, from Antarctica to, to, to the, to Scandinavia. Africa, Asia, everywhere. And I get a chance to really know the people on board. Obviously we spent 10 days together on a ship and on land, obviously, but on a ship. And it's, you know, I get to speak to a lot of them. But this was, there was a man there who told me he had 3 sons, got, they have PhDs from Yale, Princeton, and Stanford. Now most parents would think, woohoo, that is success, right? Parent has 3 children, male or female, PhDs from the most elite universities in the country, or 3 of the most elite. But he said, you know, they all reject my values. He was a traditional Christian man. And he said, you know what? I wish they never went for their graduate degrees. I'd happily live without Stanford, Yale, and Princeton to have kids with whom I could share my values. As a good man, you have to learn how to articulate the values or there's little hope. That's one of the things we try to do at PragerU. And certainly my life has been dedicated to that. So that's, that's a big part of the reason for this issue. Okay, time for your questions. And we begin. Brandon 17 in Montana: Why do you think small towns or rural areas are generally more right-leaning versus large cities or urban areas where you seem to find large left-leaning crowds? Well, I'll tell you this. People in rural areas— this is a statistic you could look up— per capita, per income, give more charity than people in urban areas. Same if you have to do, obviously, wealth versus wealth or income versus income. Now, why would that be? There's a big problem in big cities: anonymity. When people are anonymous, they don't act as well. They don't feel as morally bound to the next person. It makes perfect sense. Look at the internet. The ugliest, ugliest, vilest comments on the internet are there because the writer is anonymous. When people have to attach their real name, you don't get so much cursing and you don't get so much vile hatred. In the city, you could be anonymous. That— in the rural area, you can't be anonymous. People know, oh yeah, that's the guy on the farm over there, or the guy, you know, down the street. Yeah, sure, we know him. We know our neighbors. In big cities, you don't even— you don't even necessarily know the neighbors who live on the same floor as you in your apartment building. That's a big, big part of the reason. So yeah, all things equal, I feel that people are generally sweeter in the smaller cities. I do. As a visitor, I feel that. Forget as an inhabitant. All right. Kyle, 19, Kentucky. You and Crowder convinced me on cigars. Do you have any cutter recommendations? Well, that's one of my favorite questions ever. So this question I was told about, so I have in my pocket 3 different cutters. If some of you absolutely couldn't care less about what I'm about to say, doesn't matter, still fun. There are 3 types of cuts on a cigar: straight cut, V-cut, and just a hole. So I have 3 of the finest cutters. I love the paraphernalia. I love lighters. I love the cutters. So here they are. This one is a V-cut. That's tied with the hole for my favorite type of cutter. This is a magnificent one. Nice deep deep and clean. Here's a cut— here's a hole puncher. It's from France. So you see, watch this. I press in here. See that? It's coming through. This is quite sharp. Then you go like that, and in the top of the cigar, and it makes a hole. This is a terrific— they're both terrific. I purposely chose them. I, I, as I say, I love the paraphernalia. The most popular is my least favorite, but it's great too. And that is, you put the cigar in there and then you go like this and it takes off the entire top. A lot of people love that. Those are my recommendations. David 24, Texas: What is your favorite cartoon character ever? So that's a tough one. Uh, let's see, I like Superman because he fought evil. Batman fought evil too. So, but I don't know, but you know, Superman was Superman. And when I grew up, Superman represented truth, justice, and the American way. Superman has been completely changed because folks on the left took over the Superman comics, and he gave up his American citizenship, Superman, a few years ago. Actually did. He's now a citizen of the world, which doesn't mean anything. And I loved Truth, Justice, the American Way in that he fought. The other, I loved Heckle and Jekyll, which most of you never heard of. As I recall, they were somewhat devilish, these two crows. They were two crows and often causing and getting into trouble, which I related to completely. That was me. I caused and got I mean, not bad trouble, but I was thrown out of class a lot for talking and laughing and swapping the girls' briefcases. You don't have briefcases now, but you know, whatever you keep your books in. So I would arrange with some of the guys to surreptitiously during class take their stuff and exchange it with another kid's, and then the teacher would say, okay, take out your notebook, and then they would take out the wrong notebook, get all flustered, and I had the time of my life. I lived for that moment. Okay, anyway, Heckle and Jekyll were— I like Goofy of the Disney characters. I relate to the relate to goofiness. Next, Ben 22 Illinois: What have you done in your life that you suggest others should do also? Example: skydiving, long night in Vegas, bungee jumping. Well, they're not 3 examples that I really relate to, but thinking about that, I'll tell you what I did that's played a terrific role in my happiness. Hobbies. And I don't think there's many hobbies today. I can't speak for girls. I'm not a girl. So I could speak for guys. Guys had hobbies. I mean, as an example, a big hobby when I was in college was an audio system. Stereo speakers, a preamplifier, an amplifier, and Then it was a record player. Record players are actually making a comeback, interestingly, but could CD player, whatever. And so even kids say, hey, you got to come over and hear my new speakers. That we don't have that anymore. People think their iPhone earbuds are sufficient. You should hear music on a good system, and then you would understand the difference between that and you know, iBuds or what are they called? Earbuds. Earbuds, I know, but even iPhone earbuds are called earbuds? Because earbuds could be for anything. AirPods. AirPods. I knew there was a generic or there was a specific name. So that was a hobby. We would put things together. We would build a lot of things, whether it was model airplanes or battleships or build even stereo equipment. People collected stuff— stamps, coins, baseball cards. None of the things that I'm mentioning now are hobbies for kids. Everything's electronic. Video games is not the same thing. I'm not here to knock on video games. It's not the same thing as a hobby. It's because it's— I know you're involved, but it's more passive. It's not active like any of the things that I just mentioned. Hobbies are a wonderful thing to have, and then you get involved with people who share your hobby, so you're less lonely. Loneliness is an American epidemic. Part of the reason is people do everything at home. Are they going out to glee clubs to sing with other people in a choir? Are they going to a book club to discuss a book? You know, you could sit home, you know, anyway, most people— I don't know how many people are reading as much as in the past anyway. So hobbies, hobbies, an example I would— another thing I would suggest that I've done is travel. I've been to 130 countries and I didn't have the money to do it for most of my life. But I made it a priority. And I remember, I'll be totally open with you, when I was in graduate school and after graduate school in my 20s, so I would, you know, say to some friends, you know, during the summer break, you know, you want to, I'm going to travel this summer, you want to join me? Eh, eh, eh. We're going to, I lived on the East Coast, we're going to Puerto Rico and You know, you know, just lie in the sun. Lie in the sun? You could travel around the world for the same money, you're gonna lie in the sun? I mean, it's $200 round trip to Rome. It's not that much more today even. That's what's amazing. Airline tickets are much cheaper today than when I was a kid. It doesn't cost a lot to travel. But lie in the sun? I mean, aside from skin cancer, I don't, I don't Strikes me as a non-growth act. So travel, that's another thing that I did that I would strongly recommend to people. Let's see, Devin, 19, Rhode Island. Throughout my teenage years, I never felt close with my parents. What would be the best way for me to bond with my parents, especially my father? You know, it's an interesting and very touching question, and I— and God bless you for asking it. That, that you want to do so is great. First, let me make clear, it's not always possible. Parents are human beings. Human beings have a lot of issues, and there are parents who just don't bond well with anybody, let alone their children. And you got to accept your parent and you bond as much as you can. I'm behavioral, so you do things. You're 19, but when you leave your parents' house, call them regularly, get in touch with them, even text them regularly, but stay in touch with them. That's, that's important. That, that's one way to bond. Try to do something with them. If you're— if your father's interest— you said father is, is Football? Watch a football game with him. That's a bonding experience. If your father goes to church, go to church with him. In other words, do something with him. That's a big help. None of these are guarantees, but you know what else you should do? Let them know you asked me this question. If that doesn't move them, then it won't move them. God, I would be moved. My, my— if I, my— if I had a 19-year-old— my kids are older than 19— if I had a 19-year-old and he said to me, look, I, I just— there's this guy I, I watch or listen to, and I, I sent them this question about bonding with you, I would go, really? God, am I touched. I'd probably even cry to know that my child wanted to bond with me to the point of sending in a question to a stranger. That would be really nice. Father smokes cigar, have a cigar with him.

Hmm.

In other words, do something together and don't expect massive hugs and bonding. A lot of parents are not capable of that. You have to know the greatness and the limitations of people in your life— friends, children, parents— and accept that. It's very rare you can change somebody in your life. You— so you can't change your parent, but maybe you can change your relationship with them. That's after all what you're asking about. So they may not be the emotional type where the bond will be all that strong, but you— but it could be better than it is now. That's the hope. They're lucky that— they're lucky parents that you want to bond more. Samantha, Virginia, 25: What is your favorite play? Pretty much anything of Shakespeare plays, but it needs— but because it's in medieval English, you need it. You need to have a commentary with it. I've always envied non-English speaking people. They have more— they have in some ways better access to Shakespeare than we who speak English, because they are reading Shakespeare in their native language. We don't. Shakespeare's English is very different from ours. So they're lucky. They get to, you know, they get to read him in modern French, modern Spanish, modern Japanese, and they love Shakespeare. Shakespeare is translatable. I mean, his English is awesome, but we need explanations, whereas foreign readers don't. So pretty much anything, anything of his, but there are a lot of great A lot of great playwrights. Henrik Ibsen's a great playwright, obviously. Molière wrote a thing called Tartuffe. I remember watching that play in Manhattan when I was in high school, and I loved it. Okey-doke. Alright, are you a fan of Ayn Rand? What do you think of her view of selfishness being a virtue? I don't, I think she went too far. By the way, if you want to understand communism, the best known books of hers, of course, are Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. But if you want to know communism, her book We the Living is even more effective than Orwell in certain ways. She hated communism. As I do. But she went to the opposite extreme. She, in my opinion, obviously. So she went from communism to selfism. That's too much. There's more than the self. I do believe we should devote our lives to helping others, but I don't want the government to coerce me to do anything except not murder and not steal, obviously. That's— so I share her disdain and loathing of communism and totalitarianism, which is usually communism. But I don't agree with the— the selfishness is not going to get you very far. You have to take care of yourself, but that's not selfish. That's actually magnanimous. If I take care of me, that means the state doesn't have to take care of me. That's a beautiful thing. That's hilarious. Evan, 15, in Ireland: Do you think cereal is just for breakfast? Evan, I have to say this, and I hope it doesn't disappoint you. I've never given that thought. However, having said that, cereal is one of the gifts of the gods. Unfortunately, it's junk, as most of the edible gifts are. I haven't had cereal in a long time because I really watch what I eat, but I loved it. And when I did have cereal As a kid, I had it at any time of the day. It's— there's not much that can match it for sheer joy. Tomorrow on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. There is something exciting about developing a life with somebody, making a home, having friends, having a community, building a world larger than yourself. Join us tomorrow to hear more on Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager.