Timeless Wisdom - Are Women Superior to Men? A Debate with Shmuley Boteach

Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I see that you all applauded when Dennis and I hugged each other. Little did you realize that I took his wallet. You know, Dennis's parents live in Englewood, New Jersey, where I live. You know, if his mother could see him now picking on someone shorter than him— All I ask is that you be gentle. My friends, thank you very much for coming to this debate tonight between me and Dennis Prager. Let me begin by saying that I want to thank the NESA congregation, especially my brother and very dear friend, Simon Etihad, who has organized so many of my lectures here. Let me also say that Dennis Prager is one of my favorite people in the entire world. He is a man who is responsible for mainstreaming values in our culture, and all those who follow in his footsteps, myself included, are but his humble disciples. Dennis is the one who courageously trailblazed this path of making values engaging and entertaining on America's airwaves and in America's publishing houses. But tonight I will be the rebellious son. I am here to debate Dennis because we genuinely disagree about the place of men and women in relationships and in our culture and in our society. My friends, the American male is broken. Ta-da! The American male is a shard of his former self. He has become a spirit that only haunts his family, bereft of a capacity to inspire his children, incapacitated in his ability to love his wife, reduced to an hour or two of porn digestion per night, incapable of really making passionate love to his wife. Becoming a sports obsessive who knows more about the statistics of his favorite football player or his favorite baseball player than his children's grades at school, we have a true crisis on our hands. And we can no longer ignore it. You know, it used to be that mothers, of course, knew every last detail of their children's schoolwork. They knew every teacher who taught in the morning, who taught in the afternoon. And the father was vaguely aware of short people who inhabited his house with him. It used to be that men— and we would laugh about this— that men thought that monogamy was a kind of wood. We could once laugh about the fact that when a man would propose to a woman, they would finally get engaged, and she would envision the beautiful bridesmaids that would be present at their wedding. And he too would envision the beautiful bridesmaids that would be present at his wedding. We can make fun of all this because basically the relationship between the sexes functioned. It worked. So we could tease men for their seeming inability to really be faithful. We could tease men for their seeming inability to remain focused and attentive. Whenever their wives or girlfriends spoke to them, it was Dennis Prager who said that whenever a man goes out with a woman on a date in a restaurant, his head is a roving radar tower. I mean, he is picking up a signal from every woman that walks by, every pair of legs. He's somehow attuned to it. And we could laugh at all this, but it's no longer a joking matter. Whoever is elected president of the United States Absolutely no difference to the core rot and the corrosion that has entered American society. Whoever the president is cannot stop the 50% divorce rate. Whoever is the president will not stop the 1 out of 3 women who go to a doctor— 1 out of 3 doctor's visits in America by a woman for an antidepressant: Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft. Whoever is the next president in politics will make no difference to the 80% of 17-year-old girls who forfeited their virginity to a man who doesn't love them and who has not earned them. Whoever is the next president of the United States will not change the fact that the United States consumes two-thirds of all the world's antidepressants. How could we be so successful and so miserable simultaneously? Because we have no home life. Because the American family is rotting from the head down. What happened essentially was that our culture gave men a single barometer of success. It told them that they are only successful if they make money. They're only successful if they've achieved their professional dreams. They're only successful if they've risen on the corporate ladder. They're only successful if their colleagues and their peers truly acknowledge just how influential they've become, because they're a player in their community. And as we men ingested the message that it's the Forbes 400 that really lends you significance, And as we ingested the message that being invited to the White House Christmas party is what will lend you human dignity, we began to put all our time into the office and we began to leave the family impoverished. The net result is that women have given up on us. 51% of all women in America live without a man. Three-quarters of all divorces are initiated by women. Just understand that these women who are leaving their marriages— when we speak about 50% divorce rate. This is a female phenomenon. It has almost nothing to do with men. It's women who are leaving their marriages, preferring to be alone and to be with a man who never talks to them, who doesn't make love to them. We think men are sex fiends, sex fanatics. I always say in my kosher sex lectures that the proverbial interaction between husband and wife every night is that the husband will turn to his wife and he'll say to her, "Honey, how about some sex tonight?" And she'll turn back and say to him, "Not tonight because I have a headache." And yet the man can have an axe lodged in his head and he's still ready. "Honey, are you sure you want to have sex tonight? I don't know how to tell you this, but you've got a chainsaw in your neck." "That's nothing! It'll heal! Are you ready?" That's not the case anymore, ladies and gentlemen. CNN reported 2 weeks ago that 40 million married Americans live in platonic marriages. They don't have sex even once a year. Heck, Newsweek magazine did a cover story, October 2003, that showed that 1 out of 3 American marriages is entirely platonic, mostly from men who just don't want to make love to their wives anymore. They don't talk to their wives when they come home, they don't touch them at night. And Dr. Mehmet Oz from the Oprah Winfrey Show, who was at our house for Shabbos dinner 3 or 4 weeks ago, He told us that sex in marriage lasts for— the average is once a week— it lasts for 3.5 minutes at a time. I'm not making this up. 3.5 minutes. And that includes the time the husband spends begging. So, these numbers— now why is it that men don't talk to their wives? Why is it that men don't make love to their wives? Simple! They feel like failures. When you have a culture that doesn't value when you do homework with your children, when you have a culture that doesn't value whether you're faithful to your wife, when you have a culture that doesn't value whether you come to synagogue and make up a minyan, but all it cares about is how much money you have, when we even have synagogues that will call a man up to the Torah based on how much he'll contribute at the end of that Aliyah, and a lot of us synagogues are guilty of just that. By the way, guaranteed applause line: attack the synagogue. Guaranteed. Attack the rabbi and guaranteed applause line. When you have a culture that only values what you do and not what you are, you become a human doing, you cease to be a human being. You know why men don't love their wives? You know why men are so hypocritical of their wives? Because a man who looks at himself as a failure looks at the woman dumb enough to marry him as an even bigger failure than he is. If I'm a loser, this idiot is a loser squared! How could she be stupid enough to marry a nobody like me? Judaism believes, my friends, in the innate superiority of the female nature to the male nature. Something that Dennis and I debated on his show today. There is only one time in the Torah that it says, "If you find X, you have found good," and it is when you find a woman, you have found goodness. "Matsa'isha, matsatov," from the book of Proverbs. Judaism is an innately feminine religion, trying to make men more feminine. Trying to make the world more feminine. That's why the prophet Isaiah said in Isaiah chapter 11, verse 6, in one of the great messianic prophecies, that whereas the Gentile nations gave us great warriors wielding giant axes and giant swords— they gave us Odysseus and Agamemnon and Achilles and Hannibal and Julius Caesar— Jews gave us a vision of Zechariah and Isaiah that said that the time will come when the world will be feminine and passive. Won't be masculine and aggressive. The wolf shall lie with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the young goat, the calf and the young lions and the fatling together, and the little boy will lead them. Men are more commitment-phobic than women in relationships. They are 8 times more likely to abandon their children. How often do we hear about a deadbeat mom? They find it easy to compartmentalize sex from emotions. How many women are there who have a serious porn problem? Raise your hand. Okay. "Rabbi Shmuley, I don't know, I just have this porn problem." It is time that we— and men are unfortunately 3 times more likely to cheat on their wives. That does not mean that men are bad, God forbid. It means that men are better when they are domesticated and devoted to a relationship to their wives. That's why Judaism, in our religion, Marriage is not a sacrament the way it is in Christianity and Catholicism. It is an obligation. We need men who love their wives, who are devoted to their wives. I know, as I conclude— I'm out of time, I believe? But you told me it was Jewish time, Simon. I thought I could be here the whole month. Persian time, okay. Get ready for Rosh Hashanah. My friends, We can no longer have the husband who comes home and doesn't talk to his wife. Number one complaint: 4 hours of television is the average that the American male watches a day. We can't have men who are articulate in the office and are able to string together long eloquent sentences suddenly coming home and his wife says to him, "How was your day?" "Oh, good." "How do you feel?" Let us acknowledge that the male nature needs to be feminized, and Judaism is a feminine religion that does just that. Not only did we promise a time when the wolf would lie down with the lamb, we believe that Shabbos, the bride of the week, is holier than the other days of the week. We— our greatest warrior, our greatest masculine hero, King David, is famous for having sung the Book of Songs, like the Book of Songs, with a harp and a lyre. Moses, our great prophet, calls himself a nursemaid. And above all else, the time that we all await when Mashiach will come, the Messiah, is a time, a profoundly feminine time, when men will beat their swords into plowshares. Men won't have to compete against each other to prove their masculinity. Rather, we will all join together as one people, one people of all nations. Men won't shoot each other in, in yeshivas to prove that their religion is better, we will all live together in harmony, in a time of great light and love.

I did the same thing he did. Okay. Well, I'll have to hold this, 'cause it's already biased in favor of Smule, I tell you. I want to say a kind word about Shmuley, given the kind words you said about me. Not just because I'm reciprocating, but because they're true. What he does on television is a big kiddush Hashem. He makes Judaism and Jewish learning and God look beautiful in his program, Shalom in the Home. People who have never heard of Judaism have a warm feeling to see a rabbi with a beard do what he does. He's a real kiddush Hashem. He deserves a real thank you for that. That in no way validates anything he said.

Health insurance rates are surging in America, leaving millions without affordable options. If you're sick of having paychecks eaten up by healthcare costs or dealing with mega corporations, then listen to this. Christians don't need to waste money on a broken system. That's why I want to tell you about Christian Healthcare Ministries. It's an alternative to traditional health insurance at half the cost. With CHM, fellow believers contribute monthly to help pay each other's medical bills. There's no enrollment period, so you can join anytime, and you aren't restricted to provider networks, so you choose the doctors and hospitals you want. It's that simple. CHM is not insurance. It's a ministry that puts faith into action. Feel the difference of financial support and biblical care from fellow believers. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness. Health insurance rates in America are surging, leaving millions without affordable options. But Christians don't need to waste money on a broken system. Christian Healthcare Ministries is an alternative to health insurance at half the cost. With CHM, fellow believers contribute monthly to help pay each other's medical bills while lifting one another up in prayer. It's financial and spiritual support when you need it most. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness.

But it validates his work. The picture of men that Shmuley painted— I don't know these men. And I know men pretty well, they open up to me a great deal in emails, in conferences that I've done around the country with regard to men and women. And so there are surely such men I don't know any. It's a sort of a caricature. That's higher? Okay. Yes, that is better. Thank you. There are such men, and indeed there are women caricatures that one could describe who do in fact feign a headache all the time to a man who is loving and kind and does care about his children. And one could paint a picture like that as well. In fact, Listeners of mine listening to the show today sent me emails telling me what they thought about our dialogue on my radio. I'd like to read you one from a man named Evan. Dennis, I am a straight male, but most women assume that male hairdressers are gay, which is correct 90% of the time. This has allowed me a glimpse— so this is a male hairdresser, can't get more feminine than that. This has allowed me a glimpse into the female locker room. Dennis, you have no idea to what extent you are right about the fact that women are romanticized. Do a little survey, Dennis, on how many women would rather have male or female coworkers. Then ask why. By the way, I have done that survey on my radio show. Both men and women much rather have male bosses, work for a male. And generally have male coworkers. They're easier to get along with as a general rule. Then ask why. Women take treachery to a level which would leave men with a bloody nose. I'm in the process of writing my memoirs. I've worked on every type and demographic of woman from Suzanne Somers to Jane Average. Trust your instinct, Dennis. You don't know how right you are. By the way, women have their own porn, which is every bit as destructive as male porn. Because it causes dissatisfaction in their marriage by setting up an impossibly high standard for their husbands to live up to. It's called romance novels and soap operas. I have a friend that writes romance novels. He tells me that 40% of women read this trash. The rate for soaps is about as high. This stuff pushes all the buttons for women that traditional porn pushes for men. They just have different buttons. Anyway, the, uh, The point is not that men are great, women aren't great. I think that, frankly, I think that members of both sexes are flawed. Women have their flaws, men have their flaws. I think that our society does romanticize women, and we do have a female problem, which I talk about often on the radio, because every man in this room was raised in a home, whether you are Jewish or not, whether you were from an Iranian Jewish or other Jewish home, you were raised, and every male in this room I am certain, to control your instincts. You were raised to control your, or our, as I was, our sexual predatory instinct and our violent instinct, our aggression instinct. I ask listeners, what bad things in your girls, in your daughters, do you ever raise them to control? And I get no answer. Only boys are told to fight their nature, and that is because so many of our society, since the feminist heyday, have bought what Rabbi Berkath believes, that women are superior. So obviously women don't have to control anything. They're so terrific already that there's nothing to really fight in their nature. Only we men have to fight our natures. So we have ended up with a society with a tremendous female problem because women don't know what to fight in their own nature, whereas men do know what to fight in their nature. That's one of the reasons that women are more depressed than men. They don't know what to fight in their nature. Parents think because they bought this baloney about female superiority that girls don't have to be taught how to control their natures. Female nature stinks and male nature stinks. And that's a fact. But nobody can identify what in female nature stinks, because to do so, you're called a sexist. Or even worse, you actually believe females are better, so there's nothing to control. Just let women be women, and the world will be beautiful. And there are people who believe that. I am not one of them. I don't believe in male nature undisciplined, and I don't believe in female nature undisciplined. A lot more women than ever are depressed, in part because they don't know how to fight their nature. That's the big problem. Because if women allow their nature and their feelings and their emotions to rule them, they will be depressed. But they're not taught to control that. We men are taught to control our negative parts of our nature, and the girls that we raise are not. And in part it's because of the philosophical zeitgeist, spirit of the time, that after all women are superior anyway, which is nonsense and Judaism doesn't believe it. I have to say I don't believe that Shmuley has correctly translated the verse from Proverbs. Matzah isha matzah tov is if you find any woman you have found goodness. It has nothing— it's just— I don't think that there's a single translation that translates it that way. If you find a wife, you have found good, because Judaism wants men to marry. It is one of the great teachings of Judaism that it is not good for man to be alone. Adam was such an idiot, he didn't even know that. So God had to inform him, hello, hello, animals won't do it, so get a woman. And that was obviously— men were clueless to that. That's true. We have to be taught, by and large, you need a woman to be fulfilled. It's not quite enough to have golf. That is correct. And that is— Judaism has done a terrific job on men, but it had a very strong sense of man's place. And this notion that Judaism is— if Judaism was feminized, as Shmuley says it is, I don't know if I could believe in it. For every verse that he quotes, I will give you 10, 20 verses in the other direction. God is a God of war. Moses is filled as— Moses is a warrior. When the Jews are killed by the Midianites, he says, go out there and take revenge on the Midianites. Moses as a feminized subject, it's— we don't have a word about his treatment of his wife in the Torah. Tora. We don't have a word about his being a good father in the Torah, and the odds are he wasn't a particularly doting father. Judaism is hardly feminized. You shall beat your swords into plowshares. Yes, that's what Isaiah said. Did you know that another prophet said beat your plowshares into swords? That's never quoted. In the same name of the same God, in the same Tanakh, we are told the opposite of what Isaiah says. Sometimes you beat swords into plowshares, and sometimes, damn it, you should beat plowshares into swords. But he's never quoted Joel. Most Jews don't even know Joel was a prophet. But that is exactly, in the name of God, the same validity as the one that we quote from Isaiah. The man who was described here, who can't love his wife, who's sports obsessed, 2 hours addicted to porn every day and 4 hours TV. First of all, when does the guy work? I mean, you know, that's a very busy life, I must say. When does he eat? That alone. The, uh, these are— I'll tell you what has happened. And I, by the way, agree that there are places that that overvalue men's earnings. I would argue, however, that it is universal in human history that men have been measured by their earning. I just came from India yesterday, and in India it is well known how important that is. That is how you get a woman. That is Hindu culture, very far removed from Jewish culture. As for being honored in shul, I grew up in an East European shtiebel Hasidic shtiebel in New York. All East European Jews born in East Europe attended it. The rabbi himself was from Romania, ultra-Orthodox. In order to do maftir Yonah, the greatest honor of the year was to recite the maftir on Yom Kippur, the Book of Jonah. You bought it. You got it by buying it. You bought Rishon, Seneh, Shlishi, Revi'i, Hamishi, Shishi, Shvi'i, Chagba, Galila, and Master. You bought every single honor at the shul. No dough, no go up to the Torah. No one resented it because it was the only way this poor rabbi could support this little nothing shtiebel on East 17th Street in Brooklyn. There is nothing new about the power of money in a shul. Shuls are not built by goodwill. They're built by people who give the shul money. My father bought Machter Yonah every year. He wanted that, coveted, and God bless him because he installed the air conditioning in that shul. And I'd much rather have had air conditioning sold to my father than no air conditioning and some poor schlep say Machter Yonah. So this romanticization of a past— this romanticization of a past that never existed, ever, ever. Men will be solely understood by their love of poetry. Does my man cry? Is he sensitive? Is he romantic? Women throw up with these men. Okay? That's a fact. Women like men who are ambitious. Now, have we gone over the top? We have. We have gone over the top. That is inevitable because that is the way people will behave. But by and large, I want my children, my boys in particular, I raised my boys, you will support a wife and children one day. And you can't do that if you don't earn money. That is how you will support them. And that is a good kid and a good boy who was raised that way. I make no apologies. I'll deal with more of his charges later. Thank you.

Anyone mind if I stand on a chair? Dennis, your father can pray at my shul anytime. So our sons are being raised to hear that you will grow up and you will have to support a wife, and you'll have to pay the electricity bill, and you'll have to take the family on vacation. But the fact that you'll almost never talk to your wife, the fact that sustenance will come from the pocket and not from the heart— I ask you, how many wives will leave a man because he cannot make a living? Who will really just get up and say, "Sorry, you're the father of my 5 kids, you are romantic, loving, you're a passion in the bedroom, but we can't go to Bermuda. I'm outta here." I counsel couples all the time. The women today, again, 3/4 of all divorces are initiated by women. They are leaving because they're lonely in their marriages. They're tired of having a man who doesn't look at them when they take their clothes off at night, who doesn't tell them how he feels, who doesn't talk to them about what happened during his day. They're tired of having guys who are monosyllabic, sports-obsessed, porn-obsessed men. And they have plenty of time to do this stuff. It's remarkable. My friends, the Torah says it is not by bread alone that man survives. It is through Love. It is the one thing that unites all cultures. That a loving man— studies show women only cheat on their husbands not when they get a Robert Redford guy who is a billionaire and makes them an indecent proposal. Women only cheat, according to Shear Hike, according to Masters and Johnson, according to every sexual survey that was ever conducted, wives are only unfaithful if they are neglected. Period. Our marriages— our marriages are bereft of love as men have become automatons, human machines who just compete constantly in order to succeed, to feel good about themselves. God Almighty, where will it end? I'm telling you, it's what explains the great paradox of American existence. We are the richest country in the history of the world, world, able to spend more on our military than the entire GDP of all 22 Arab nations combined, $530 billion a year. We are so rich as a nation, thank God, that we have troops in 122 nations. Rome at its height could only sit in awe at American military muscle. And yet we're miserable and depressed watching things like garbage reality TV to escape escape our own pitiful reality? That's because there's no love in our homes. That's why the American home is disintegrating. This is why your kids don't want to be at home. They don't want to be at a home bereft of light. You see, the man is the sun. That's what the ancients said. That's what the Kabbalah says. The woman is the moon. So he comes home and he radiates this great luminescence, and she reflects that light, and she feels a man cherishes her, adores her, and she's full of life. But what if the man who comes home is a black hole? He sucks out the light. He is bereft of any kind of inspiration. Well, the moon then doesn't shine, and then those stars, the children who are supposed to illuminate again, it's a dark firmament. Well, they just decide to hide behind the clouds, whether the cloud sense, their own bedroom, or their iPod earbuds, or the cloud of grass. Because kids are taking drugs? I mean, kids smoking drugs? What pain did they experience? What, did they have a buddy who died in Iraq? Did the bank foreclose on some teenager that he's in so much pain that he needs to take alcohol and drugs? They're in pain from the lack of love, and it's starting from us men. And if If we're honest about it, we'll look ourselves in the mirror and we'll see that the way a man is successful today is by burying his emotions. Our brave soldiers in Iraq are successful when they bury their very important mission, or the feelings from that mission, having to shoot other human beings who unfortunately have chosen an evil path, or watching their buddies die. The successful doctor is he who's objective and does not feel the pain of his patients. He won't do a good job if he does. The object— the successful Wall Street investor is he who has no reaction to the volatility of the markets. He basically quashes the butterflies in his stomach. He is trained not to feel. From the time our boys are young, we tell them that boys don't cry. And then suddenly he comes home after all that, and he's supposed to love his wife and express his emotions when the world has really purged him of any kind of feeling. Who would have thought we would live in an age where women don't want to get married. Who would have thought we live in an age where women would exhibit the same commitment phobia as men? I, I try this all the time, and I'll do it right now just to prove my point, how much women have given up on men, men who are not trained to love them. All the women in this audience, please raise your hand if you need a man. Raise your hand if you need a man. Okay, 4 hands. 4 hands, women who need a man. And even the ones who are raising their hands, you know, if you think that I asked, raise your hand if you have a venereal disease, I mean, the way they're raising their hands is like— Now to the women, raise your hand if you need a refrigerator, please. Raise your hand if you need a refrigerator. You don't even need a refrigerator. Okay, why do women acknowledge A dependency on a refrigerator, not a man. Something that can warm, you know, something that can cool their milk instead of warm their hearts. Because GE brings good things to life, right? We don't know what men bring to life. Dennis Prager— and I, my 5 minutes are coming to an end— Dennis Prager is one of the world's foremost exponents of Judaism. He has brought Judaism to more souls than, I don't know, anyone alive, but he's certainly up there. He is a great, great man. I am amazed that he is denying the core and essence of our religion. God Almighty, do you know why those terrorists walked into a synagogue where people were learning and studying and praying and blew away 8 innocent people today? Because they were going to flex their muscle and show that Islam was not humiliated by the West. Oh, the fact that we are bankrupt and and starving in Gaza, if we can still blow up your yeshivas and rain rockets on your homes, then we're real men. Isn't that the mistake of men throughout history? And along came Judaism. And yes, Dennis can quote certain examples from the Bible where war was necessitated because of an enemy intruder. But Judaism, no one denies, not Yoel, not any other prophet, that the essence of Judaism is the ultimate abolishment of all war, when men will permanently beat their swords into plows. An era of peace. That's why Shabbos is the holiest day of the week. It's the day where we don't make money. It's the day where we don't get invited to fancy cocktail parties. It's the day where Dennis and I don't compete for ratings. Shabbos is the holiest day because it's the day of love, community, family, oneness, where men are They're not great aggressors, but when they come home to their families and they come to shul and they pray like everyone else. And yes, shuls need, need money to survive. But the moment someone feels that unless he bought a membership he has no right to take a seat, that shul has become an abomination, my friends. The doors of God's home are open to all. They must remain open to all. We Jews dare never feed the criticism of our great enemies who say that we are nothing but shallow materialists. That's what they've said about us for centuries and generations. We dare not give it credence or credibility. We are a nation who uses money to do good things, but who does not live for money. For it is not by bread alone that man will live, rather it is by the word of the living God, the God who told us that our highest aspirations must be peace, brotherhood, and love, not vengeance, and not war, and not competitiveness. The time will come when everyone will serve the one God as equals, because a more feminine radiance will shine even in men. And then marriages will be strong, and children will choose to be at home rather than with their friends.

Oh, here we go again.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Health insurance rates in America are surging, leaving millions without affordable options. But Christians don't need to waste money on a broken system. Christian Healthcare Ministries is an alternative to health insurance at half the cost. With CHM, fellow believers contribute monthly to help pay each other's medical bills while lifting one another up in prayer. It's financial and spiritual support when you need it most. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness. Americans have a big healthcare problem. Over 100 million citizens carry medical debt while paying for overpriced and complicated health insurance. As Christians, we don't have to pay for a broken system. Christian Healthcare Ministries is an alternative to health insurance at half the cost, plus You can enroll at any time. Stand up to health insurance with a biblical solution. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness.

Take some of the points that I, I could jot down as they were said. First, about women. More women are, uh, what, for divorce? What's the What's the word?

Applying?

No, no, no, no, more women are filing, that's the word, are filing for divorce than men. First, there are two things to be said about that. One is, who files may represent nothing. It may well be that the man wanted out and the woman filed, it may be the other way around. I don't know what statistic, what that statistic means, knowing people who've divorced. Number 2, I have done a number of shows where I have asked women who did initiate divorce, now that they look back, let's say— and I would always ask, if you divorced more than 5 years ago, would you call me up and tell me that you're happy that you did? Now, I don't have a scientific survey. I only have people calling my show. But I was— and I had no idea what I would hear, because there are clearly women who should divorce. There's no question about it, as there are men who should divorce. And Judaism, to its great credit, understood that. But it was remarkable to me how many women did call to say that they regret that they had divorced. He was not a bad man. He was not unfaithful. He was not a cheat. He was a good man. But she, she was convinced that there was something better out there. Because society, like soap operas or novels or imagination or Cosmopolitan magazine or a movie or just simple human fantasy, that there was always something better out there. Taught her that there might be somebody better out there. So it doesn't prove to me anything, that anything, certainly nothing about the inadequacy of men, that women file more frequently than men do. One might as well say that because there are women not marrying, in fact, in fact, she really did say that, because so many young women are not marrying, women or have commitment phobia, this is a reflection on men. I don't, I don't believe that at all. It is a reflection on the brainwash done on a generation of young women. As the phrase went in feminism, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. And since fish don't need bicycles, women don't need men. I'd like to do a test based on what Shmuley I did, where women, and only 4 raised your hands that you need a man. If you're a man and you think that you need a woman, raise your hand, please. So either men are a lot more romantic and healthy, and you have a lot of explaining to do for your theory. Now, why is it that 10 times more more men were willing to raise their hands that they need a woman than women were willing. I don't feel— I believe because, hmm, because women are embarrassed. That is exactly right. Give this woman something. I'd give you a cigar, but most women— I don't like when women smoke cigars. That's exactly right. That's the tragedy. Two generations ago, if you would ask an audience like this in a synagogue raise your hand if you feel that a woman needs a man. Nearly all the hands would go up. You have been so— your natural inclinations have been beaten out of you that to be a woman with normal female reactions is to be considered inferior. That is what feminism has done to women. So you are— she is— this is a young woman who said this, by the way. She is 100% right. The women were embarrassed. Men are actually— I mean, this is not scientific either, but in this particular little test, men were less embarrassed to acknowledge they need a woman than women here were to acknowledge that they need a man. I believe we both need each other. It's a non-issue to me, and that we need each other absolutely equally. Absolutely equally. There isn't the slightest amount more one than the other. So what, what has happened is not the inadequacy of men. If anything, here's the irony: I think a lot of men are inadequate in that they have also been drummed out of them their masculinity. Women love masculine men. Even feminists do. Even feminists want men who earn more than they do. When Barbara Walters married, very few men on earth earned more than Barbara Walters. She still married a man who earned more than her. Jane Fonda married a man who earned more than her. Women have a basic primal desire for having a man. Now, there are men who take care of the home beautifully, that's a separate issue, but in general there is a desire for a man. And masculinity is not only earning power, not at all, not at all.

It is—

I'll tell you, there are many aspects to it, but ironically one of them is that I don't live to please my wife. That's the irony. Women don't want that in a man. They want a loving man, but they don't want a man— they want a man who is strong, who is willing to live by a code, like a Jewish code for that matter. We agree on a lot, Shmuley and I. We agree on Shabbat. But I would hardly argue that the great deficiency today is that men are too masculine or too male. Halavi, if only that were the problem. There is a terrible dearth of masculinity among males today. That's what women tell me almost universally, that they're boys, that they're not men that they're dating, they are boys. What is it? What is the difference? A man takes responsibility, and one of them is When I take you out, I will actually pay for dinner. Most women prefer to go to a cheaper place where the man will pay for dinner than an expensive place. And then he goes, well, let's see, you had the steak and I had the fish. You had— I mean, which wine did you— would you have the red wine? That's not a man in my book. That's not the type of man I'd rather— I'd rather a boy take a woman to Subway and pay for it. Than to go to the best restaurant and have the bill split.

You know, Dennis, that's hitting below the belt. That story I told you about the time I took Debbie out and asked if she had the red or the white wine was very private. Debbie, I apologize. My wife is actually here, so Dennis has to be even more gentle. Of course, when you ask men if they need a woman, they raise their hands. It's because what the man hears is, "Raise your hand if you want sex right now." The depression that's being experienced by the American woman, these astronomical numbers that are hardly humanely. They're dangerous. 1 out of 3 women on an antidepressant in America. 10% of our girls having anorexia, bulimia, an eating disorder. Anorexia being a more lethal disease for those who have it than even cancer. Where did this come from? Is it something about feminism that told them that their body is the only thing that matters? Was that the message of feminism? Are we really going to blame feminists for a message that they are as capable as men, one that I welcome? I'm raising 5 daughters. I want to hear that women are as smart as men. I want to hear that women are as capable as men. I want to hear that women ought to be as educated as men. What I don't want to hear is the Victoria's Secret fashion show that says that a woman is unique when she parades around on national TV. In her underwear. To be a woman in America today, if we— we're talking about men not being masculine enough. Our society couldn't get more masculine. In our society, the guy throws the long touchdown bomb that does the serious work of winning a Super Bowl, and the girls jump up and down and like her pom-poms. And this is supposed to be serious? Newsweek magazine just reported last week, and I'm sure many people read it. It was one of the saddest stories I read this year. I wrote a Jerusalem Post column about it. It said that at Harvard, at Boston University, at Yale, the biggest-selling magazines right now among the student population are sex magazines published by the girls at Harvard. That's called H Bomb. The girls at BU, it's called Boink. And the girls at Yale, it's called Sway, Sex Week at Yale. You mean even at our top universities the cyber smut has now taught the girls who are getting 1600 on their SATs that they ought to do what the girls who dance on a pole does? For God's sake, if our society became more masculine, if we made women want to live up to the male sex dream anymore, I don't know, I mean, I come to shul, I see women dressed to the nines, I see women having painted their faces. Did they also read a book before they came to shul that morning? Did they read the newspaper? When people go out on a date, when the women go out on a date, do they go to a library so they can have an opinion to express over that dinner? Or do they go to the gym and run on the treadmill like this, because that's the way you prepare for a date? We can't get more masculine. The feminist dream is dead. Dennis has nothing to worry about. Feminism is completely dead. Completely and utterly dead. No one takes women seriously. We take a woman's body seriously. That's why the only 3 women in America who are famous for their brains are Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleezza Rice. The rest are Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. And Lindsay Lohan, who's a talented actress, had to take all her clothes off. And I blame her, not anyone else. But it is a culture that will give her more attention for doing so and for getting a PhD. Feminism is dead. And the one thing Dennis is absolutely right about is that feminists don't even object to this garbage. But a large part of it is women believing that that's the only thing men are interested in. I know a woman, and her family is here, who told me— and she's a brilliant, brilliant professional doctor— that when she goes out on dates with men, She has to tell them that she's a nurse. She has to lie and say she's a nurse because men are intimidated by smart women. God help us if we become more masculine. Can I prove to you just— okay, can I just prove to you how sorry the American male has become? I'm a reality television host. I take no pride in saying that. Dennis is one of the country's most respected talk radio CEOs. Offers opinions. I'm a reality television host. Now, in the continuum of existence, the way it works is the lowest life form is a single-cell amoeba. Right above that is the reality television host. Right above that are cockroaches, vermin, creepy crawlies. The most successful reality TV show over the past 3 years was a show that no one would have believed would have ever made it on TV, let alone succeed. It was a show based on the idea that the American male is a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal who is so primitive that he needs the guys he used to give wedgies to in high school, the gay men, to come and teach him how to be a man. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was based on the premise that the only ones who can teach straight men how to make I don't know, chocolate mousse and choose draperies and even propose to their girlfriends are the Fab Five. Five gay guys. "Oh, you look fabulous!" Five gay guys teaching straight men how to be men. Unbelievable. The premise of the show was that the average straight man in America has got two brain cells and one eyebrow. And yes, I recognize I have one eyebrow. I am from Esfahan, that is true. I am not a metrosexual male. I'm one of what Dennis Prager calls real men. It's never been plucked. It's still there. The average American male has got two eyebrows— one eyebrow, two brain cells. He smells like a horse and he lives in a stable, and only gay men can rescue him. And everyone agreed with that premise. Everyone watched it. Yeah, my boyfriend doesn't know how to tell me he loves me. My boyfriend doesn't know how to just live like a civilized human being. That was the premise of the show. The point being that if men showed women that we value your minds, we value your hearts. Yes, we're attracted to your bodies, absolutely, but attraction is holistic. We want to attract it, to be attracted to the whole of you. We want your opinions, we want your book knowledge, we want your leadership. We're not intimidated by it, we welcome it. It makes you more beautiful in our eyes. If we gave them that message, then that stupid Victoria's Secret fashion show would not be on prime time on American television. We would begin to respect women in our culture, something that we've utterly failed at doing.

What did you say after 2 minutes? What? And then what? I understand. That's very kind. There are a few things I will address, some of the last comments, but there are a few things that were said before that I didn't get to address about no love in our homes. That was another of Shmuley's indictments. I will tell you this.

I would bet everything I own that the health insurance rates are surging in America, leaving millions without affordable options. If you're sick, of having paychecks eaten up by healthcare costs or dealing with mega corporations, then listen to this. Christians don't need to waste money on a broken system. That's why I want to tell you about Christian Healthcare Ministries. It's an alternative to traditional health insurance at half the cost. With CHM, fellow believers contribute monthly to help pay each other's medical bills. There's no enrollment period so you can join anytime, and you aren't restricted to provider networks, so you choose the doctors and hospitals you want. It's that simple. CHM is not insurance, it's a ministry that puts faith into action. Feel the difference of financial support and biblical care from fellow believers. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness. Health insurance rates in America are surging, leaving millions without affordable options. But Christians don't need to waste money on a broken system. Christian Healthcare Ministries is an alternative to health insurance at half the cost. With CHM, fellow believers contribute monthly to help pay each other's medical bills while lifting one another up in prayer. It's financial and spiritual support when you need it most. Join CHM today by visiting chministries.org/wellness. That's chministries.org/wellness.

Average father today spends more time with his children than in the history of the world. I don't think there is a culture in history where men spend as much time with their children as the United States of America. America today. So I don't even know where that indictment is from. My father spent— took me to about 2 ballgames and once to the Hayden Planetarium in New York, and that was it. And this is not an indictment of him. That was utterly typical of the fathers of that generation, that a couple of ballgames and one trip to the planetarium. The trip to the planetarium was less than successful because as soon as the stars came out, he fell asleep. And, uh, I don't know, you've obviously not been to a planetarium, but they do approximate the nighttime sky, and when he saw the stars, he just fell asleep, which was fine. But the point is only that this was not something that one expected. It was not done. My grandfather never took my father anywhere. I mean, the idea— if you'd have said to my grandfather who came over from Russia, you know, "So, nu, did you take Mendel to the ball game?" He wouldn't know what you're talking about. Take Mendel to where? You don't take kids anywhere. You provide room and board, and you're lucky if the anti-Semites didn't have a pogrom. That was the reality of life. Men are spending more more time with their kids and probably more time in some ways with their wives. I can't vouch for that fact, but I can vouch for the children one, knowing what is going on out there. About this love issue, remember Fiddler on the Roof? Does he, do I love you? Does he love me? And the question is that together for any number of years, And the love factor was not major, the commitment factor was major. And that was what I saw with my grandparents who stayed together for so many years. And let me tell you again, let's not romanticize the past. I will tell you of a story when I spoke to the head of the Bed Inn of Los Angeles, a bearded, Polish-born, born Orthodox rabbi many years ago, and I said to him, "It must be difficult for you living in California in the late 20th century with all this divorce." And as I stand in a shul with the Torah present, I tell you what he said to me. I'm paraphrasing. He said, "Mr. Prager, I would just like you to know there was not enough divorce in the old shtetl world." There were so many miserable couples, but the pressure to stay together was so great. And I was amazed. I was sure he'd say, 'Oh, this new world with all this divorce, it's a shame.' And he didn't. He said there should have been more in the old world. I just don't want to romanticize issues that didn't have a reality. Now, about the Torah is quoted, and the Tanakh is quoted regularly, and about this idea of women being seen as, as sex objects or as visual candy. I just like to remind Rabbi Botteach and all of us here that 3 of the 4 matriarchs are only described as beautiful, not as brilliant, not as talented, not as possible surgeons, Sarah is described as particularly beautiful, even beautiful at 90. Rivka is yifei toar vifei mareh, beautiful to look at and beautiful of form. And she's also described as good by Eliezer, who has gone to search for a spouse for Yitzchak. That's true, and that's fine. And Rachel is beautiful, and Leah has weak eyes. Leah is only a matriarch by virtue of the fact that she was sneaked into a tent as a trick by Laban. So the, the matriarchs, 3 out of 4, are described as beautiful. I'm sorry, it's the reality of life on Earth as opposed to the spiritual universe we will one day inhabit is that women do in fact like men who are is strong and can provide shelter and provide a good— and I don't mean excessively good life, that's not an Imelda Marcos shoes life, but rather a good life for her, provide for her and her children— that is very attractive to a woman irrespective of his looks. And a woman's beauty is very important to a man irrespective of her earning ability. That's the way it has worked through eons. That is the way it will work forever. And the reason that there are girls writing so much sex and showing so much skin at Harvard, Yale, and on television is in fact because of all of what has been said. And that is this: women have been told, you are men. You think like men, you love like men, you have sex like men. There is only one area left for young females at Harvard to show that they're a female, and that is by baring their skin. That's the, that's the origin of this. Women have been sold the bill of goods: you are a male, you are no different from males. They know they are, and the only way left to show that they are a female is by showing their body. That is it.

That is what has been created.

That's right. I know, I agree with you. I do. I hope this— this has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit dennisprager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.