Timeless Wisdom - Happiness Hour: Unhappy Kids

Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com. Hey everybody, welcome to the Dennis Prager Show, the Happiness, Happiness Hour. Every week at this time, come hell or high water, an hour devoted to the subject of happiness because it's the happy, happy, happy, happy hour. Yes, it is. It's the happy, happy, happy, happy hour. And unlike the happy hour at your local bar or tavern, you don't need to— you don't get inebriated. In fact, if you're inebriated, this hour will mean nothing to you. And it's free. Hi everybody. The older I get, the more importance— not the less— the more importance I attach to happiness. Happy people make the world better. Unhappy people tend to make it worse. And the happy have not suffered less than the unhappy as a general rule. There are exceptions, but as a general rule, they haven't. One of the things that the unhappy think is that the happy have suffered less. No, the happy have simply learned that there is a moral obligation to be happy, or at least to act happy, in spite of the fact that we suffer. Anyway, welcome to the show. I, I ascribe tremendous importance to this subject. That's the reason I have devoted an hour, probably for 10 years. I'd love to know when I first did it. I wish we had some record. We might, huh? By the way, we will be making available for holidays and other times the best of Happiness Hours, just on CD and on every other kind of smoke signals. Any way you want to get it, it will be available to you. Now, I want to talk to you today about a very serious subject, and that is unhappy kids. There are a lot of unhappy kids, and there have always been unhappy kids. It's, it's not a happy time, adolescence. How can it be? You're still a child, but your body tells you you're not a child. Your brain has a staggering malformities. It's not fully formed. Those frontal lobes, is that, is that the area? I don't know exactly, but I, I do know it's not fully formed. And you have hormones raging that are new to you. Uh, you are, you are trying to separate from your parents at the same time you need them more than you, you ever needed them. You need guardrails more than you ever needed guardrails. It is as if a person were just given a car and they wanted to smash down every barrier between oncoming traffic and themselves. It will lead to a lot of tragedy. So it's a very hard time, adolescence. There are certainly happy ones, but it's a very hard time. But that's not what I'm talking about. That's been true in every generation. But there was something in this, in the current generation, and for perhaps the last 20, 30 years, not more than that, maybe not even more than 20 years, there was something else going on with kids. There are a lot of things going on with kids today, but I want to address one in particular. We are teaching them And we are— and they are being enabled, not necessarily— and by the way, by we I mean our society. I don't mean parents. Some parents, yes, but by and large it's the society. Kids are being taught not to feel. Now, this has particular, I think, legitimacy coming from me because I'm the one who says I direct all my comments to your mind, not your emotions. But emotions are what make us human. Your computer— kids are being taught not to feel, and it is devastating, devastating. Not— they are— they, they don't know how to laugh. They know how to laugh at most kids' laughter. Is laughing at, laughing at someone in a comedy, on a TV show, laughing at a kid who, whatever, or a cynical laugh, but not a belly laugh of, God, that's funny, or a joyful laugh. Kids are today being taught everything is conspiring to have them not feel. It's true in school. It is true in, in their television experience. The music is emotionless. When you think about it, when you, when you, if you were to compare, I mean, most popular melodies in America, what is it called? What's the chart? The Billboard? What is it called? The top 10 or the top 50? You know, the top 50 songs of every single year for the last 50 years are available for your perusal. You got it in a book, you may even, maybe even on the internet. Or even more than 50 years, this Billboard stuff has been around for maybe 80 years. I mean, we knew that the most popular songs, I suspect for before I was born. Anyway, if you look at them, you will find how when I grew up, the top melodies, rock and roll was the most popular. I mean, they were all love songs. Venus, goddess of love that you are, right? See the pyramids along the Nile. And they were all about love, right? Ba ba ba ba ba ba, right? To take my hand. If a kid heard these songs today, just the words, forget the melody, they would laugh at them. At them. That's my point. Kids laugh at a lot. They would laugh at the words of the, of their parents' generation's favorite melodies from the '50s, the '60s, and maybe even the '70s. They would laugh at them as corny. And why are they corny? Barbara Ann, Take My Hand has feelings. The lyrics that they are used to in rap, there are no— the only feeling is anger. But that's not the feeling that makes you happy. Anger doesn't make anybody happy. This— we are raising a feelings-free generation. We, not parents. I'm not yelling at you parents. I would yell at you if I thought you were the problem. It is— see, what needs to be understood is parents don't raise children. In the vast majority of instances, parents and society raise children. I always, always agreed with Hillary Clinton's title, "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child." When conservatives knocked it, they were wrong. It's her— I don't like her village's values. But she's right, villages raise children as much as parents do, unless you isolate your child from the village, which by the way unfortunately may be called for, like in homeschooling. Those kids, if you meet a homeschooler, they laugh more easily, they have an openness and non-cynicism and non-jadedness that you rarely see in other kids. Other— there are other kids who are fine, I'm not saying This is always true. But we, this society, is teaching children not to feel. And I give you the example of their music, their lyrics, even the music itself. Metal is angry, metal is loud, it is exciting, but it is not feeling. It's exciting, but it's not feeling. It dulls feelings. That doesn't mean that everybody who likes metal doesn't have feelings. I'm talking about the music itself compared to music of melody and music of lyrics that have love in them. In fact, it's an almost anti-love generation that has been raised. Pro-sex, but not pro-love. There is far more sex with young people, but far less love. And that has been another area where we have taught them not to feel. The area where people associate the most intense feelings is called making love. Making love has even died as a phrase. If you would say making love to a kid today, they may not even know what you're talking about. It's called having sex. And that's what they have learned in sex, sex ed. If you're having sex, protect yourselves. Not, you might want to consider not having sex, but rather making love, which should be deferred because at your age, it's not likely that you're making love. It's more likely that you're screwing. The society is teaching kids not to feel. You can't be happy if you don't feel. I will continue and take your calls on this Happiness Hour. 1-800-PRAGER-776. I'm Dennis Prager. Alrighty, everybody, you're listening to The Dennis Prager Show, The Happiness Hour, and it's a very rare thing I We have a code here that if a caller disagrees, Eva puts up the letter D, because I go to those first. And I don't think in the history of the Happiness Hour, which is at least 500 shows, I've had almost all Ds, which is fine. I don't have any judgment on that. It's just a point that I'm bringing to your attention. But I still will finish my ideas, and then I will take your challenges. And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I don't have a vested interest in this. It's not politics. It's not religion. It's just a way of understanding. I believe that we have more unhappy adolescents today than we have had in the past. And I believe that part of it is that they are, that they have become feelings-free. And let me explain. Feelings are not appetites. They are filled with appetites. Yes, they want sex. They want fun. They want, They want what they want, but that's not the same as feelings. You know, feeling hungry, which is not what they're feeling, but feeling hungry is not what I mean. But when I say not having feelings, I'm talking about positive emotions that they are suppressed by television, by movies, by substituting sex for making love as a concept By, of course, by drugs. What do drugs do? The whole point of a drug, that's the whole point, is to suppress your natural feelings, is to get away from them, is to medicate pain if you have a painful feeling, or to try to feel for the first time. It could be the opposite. I don't feel normally, but oh man, if I'm on ecstasy, or oh man, You know, when I have a joint, then I really, then I really feel. Now let me take your calls here. It's jaded, in other words. It's jaded. They can't— that's what I said about homeschooled kids. I have a near-perfect record of meeting kids and saying, are you homeschooled? And being right. And I'll tell you why. I don't know their religion. I don't know if they're irreligious. I know nothing. I've not even asked them their views. It's not because of their views on anything. It's because they have a smile, a non-cynical joie de vivre, love of life, joy of life that you don't see generally. I don't say all other kids don't, and I don't claim that every single kid who's in homeschooling does. But as a generalization, there's a difference. And why? Because they are insulated from the jadedness around them. Okay, let's go to some of your calls here. And let's go to Tom. There are a lot of calls on this, so I'm not going to take a lot. I'll take this one as representative. St. Paul, Minnesota. And Tom, Tom, thank you for calling me. Dennis Prager, hi.

Hey Dennis, I'm in agreement with you basically about kids maybe today and the music that they're listening to and how it may not evoke happiness.

Or love.

Or love. But I wouldn't— you were kind of blanket statement, making a blanket statement about some genres like heavy metal. I listen to some metal music. But it's more— it's, it's a progressive, it's, it's, uh, it's symphonic, it's, it's bombastic, and, and I like all that, all those aspects of that music. The, the band I'm talking about is Dream Theater. They're, they're a wonderful outfit. They, they have basically positive, uh, lyrics in their music. It's more storytelling than anything, but it's, it's, it's not negative, and, and the music is heavy, but it's bombastic, it's symphonic. They got—

love it.

I said specifically there are many— I know I said that because I pretty much know what I say, right? But metal— and I have heard a lot of metal. I have a teenager. I have heard a lot, and I make it my business to listen, right? I don't tune out. I listen. I listen in the car. I listen at home. I put on the headphones. I have listened. I am very open in my taste. I admit that in my former life, so to speak, I was much more closed those, but I like almost every genre of music.

Okay.

And there— but I don't take back my comment that I have not heard any metal where the primary emotion is loving.

Well, I suppose you have a point there.

Okay, well, that's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. If kids— a lot of you are calling to defend— I mean, Danny in Tampa wants me to name metal bands. First of all, it's so easy to do that. That's pointless. It's pointless. I have heard plenty of metal. I have heard dozens and dozens, hundreds of hours probably. It is loveless. Loveless. I have no problem with fine, kind, decent people who have a full life listening to metal. None. Some spectacularly wonderful people I know, even adults, like metal. You're not even listening to me if you are reacting this way. You're not listening. You're just defensive. It's loveless music. If there is one love metal band, send me the name. I'll be happy to say there is one exception on earth. It's unbelievable, these matters, the immediate defensiveness. You're gonna compare that to Bob, Barbara, and Take My Hand, Venus Goddess of Love, or I Dream of This Girl, or I Want This Girl. Or, or, or half the Beatles songs? Oh, come on, folks, let's be honest. And I mean it, let's be honest. It's hard stuff. It's harsh. It's hard. There's a place for that. There's hard and harsh classical music. I'm not gonna tell you that some of Prokofiev's symphonies are filled with love. They're very harsh.

Hmm?

Oh, exactly. Well, he got pelted. There was a riot after Stravinsky's in Paris when they played him because it was too hard. But I wouldn't even go there because that you could say has some melody and so on. But in any event, the point is that the input— MTV, does MTV have love? MTV is jaded. It is jaded. It is feelings suppressive. It is kids as sexual objects and as morons. The people who— I truly believe if there is a just God, the people who produce MTV will be judged harshly by him. I say this with no exaggeration. They have hurt children more. The people who produce MTV, who own it, produce it, I hope you're listening. I swear from the bottom of my heart, you will have to answer to God for the crap you have injected into the veins of our children. We'll be back in a moment. Make just— now listen to this carefully, and we're going to contrast it with one of the most popular of the metal bands. All right, now all I want to— all I'm saying, this is the Happiness Hour, believe it or not. Dennis Prager here. I'm talking about why we have an inordinate number of unhappy teenagers, young adolescents today. And I certainly don't blame the music alone. I'm not an idiot, and you'd have to be an idiot to blame music alone, as powerful a force as music is. It is It is not determinative of a society, but it's one example of many of the de-emotionalization of children, of young people, of suppressing loving emotions, of suppressing their feelings. The people calling in to tell me there's no difference between metal today— I mean, I'll read you a list in alphabetical order, and you tell me that you compare that to, uh, to things that the Beatles did for my generation, for example, or rock and roll for, uh, One Ripe— you know, All You Need Is Love is an unbelievably popular Beatles song, right? All You Need Is Love. So here are, here are names taken from Wikipedia, uh, without just an alphabetical order: Acid Death, Acid Drinkers, Acid Rain, Addictive, Ancient Steel, Am I Blood, Angel Witch, Annihilator, Anthrax, Artillery, Attitude Adjustment, Atrophy, Aura Noir, Battered, Believer, Beowulf, Blind Illusion, Blood Eagle, Blood Tsunami, Brainstorm, Bulldozer, Carnal Forge, Carnivore, and so on. Under H: Hate Sphere. Now, is somebody going to call me like the fellow in Tampa who I did drop? I admit it, I'm sorry. I am sorry because I'm not going to spend the hour on metal bands. Now, does Hate Sphere— what is the flag? Is that— it's Scandinavian, I think it's Denmark. Do they produce something like I just played that my parents grew up with? A Jimmy Durante thing, you know, all it takes to make someone happy? Gives somebody happiness? The love songs that I grew up with and that so many others did? Sex has been reduced to literally, literally a biological function by the stupidest generation in history, my generation, the dumbest generation in American history. It is, there's no close, and part of the reason is we, most of us went to college. College makes you less wise. There are exceptions, but as a general rule, the dumbest generation is the best educated. My generation, the baby boomers, and we have reduced for children for the first time, certainly in American history, maybe in Western history, the act of sex has been reduced to a biological act. And this is the folks that said make love, not war. But it's not, it's not, make love is, is a your kids would look at the words "make love" and laugh in your face. What are you talking about, make love? What does that mean? You mean hooking up? So they have— we have— this is one of the most serious happiness hours I've ever had, but what am I gonna do? We have conspired as a society to make this generation of adolescents unhappy. I totally understand parents who wish to isolate their kids from, from all the influences of society. I'm sorry about that because I love when kids interact with society. I love it. Television, God, television, place to make you cynical. Alrighty, let's go to, let's go to Lana in Greeley, Colorado. Lana, Dennis Prager, hi.

Yes, I have always understood that the current trend in teaching is to make the children feel good whether they do well or not.

Yeah, but that's not a feeling. I mean, it's not the feelings that I'm talking about, feelings of love. And they're not meant— they're meant to feel good on a phony and superficial level, like the phony self-esteem. Give every kid a trophy who showed up at a baseball game. Even if he didn't play.

So that goes to appetite.

Well, yes, sure it does. Appetite. Well, it really goes to worse. It goes to narcissism.

Okay.

And the other thing is a lot of the liberal causes today, and you have pointed this out, are based on feeling, not reason.

Yeah.

Feel sorry for the drowning polar bears. Feel scared for the birds.

Right. So here's the irony. It becomes backwards, doesn't it? So then as adult feelings, the Yes, it's backwards. It's all upside down. But I don't want to politicize this hour, and I mean that sincerely. I want everybody to listen to me, and I will be back in a moment. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, the Happiness Hour, discussing why there are, I think, a disproportionate number of unhappy adolescents today. By the way, my proposition may be wrong. Maybe it is the same as it was when I was a kid or my parents were a kid? I don't think so. I, I, I, uh, and that, that would be interesting in and of itself. Maybe, maybe I'm wrong on that, uh, but, uh, from what, what I read, guests we have on the show, I'm, the books that are written today, I mean, how many books are written about the troubled teen compared to when I was a kid? What, we, we all of a sudden discovered it? I don't think so. I don't think so. Alright, let's take some of your calls today. 1-800-PRAGER-776. And again, if you're just tuning in, and if you are, you can go to DennisPrager.com, PragerRadio.com, get any show, order any show on CD, download, podcast, smoke signals. If it's a communication possibility, we will probably be providing it. And if you got in and you stay on, but I'm going to go to as many calls as I can. Oh yes, I want to just remind you what I'm saying is kids are taught not to feel. And I mean feel loving feelings, warm feelings, excited about life feelings. I mean, you know, rage is a feeling, if you will. So please understand. Don't say, well, are you kidding? There's a lot of feeling in that music by Slipknot. Yeah, the feeling is rage. It's not, it's not, I want to hold your hand. I mean, kids, kids, a lot of kids today hearing I want to hold your hand— I'm talking now Beatles, right? I mean, they would, they would want to throw up. Oh, turn that off! Turn that off! And I mean, to watch MTV— every so often I tune in on MTV, like when I'm on the road. First of all, the kids on it are functionally retarded. I'm serious, it's astonishing. They cannot self-express. The— it's— I don't know, don't start me on MTV. It's— it's— I may go over the top. Craig in Portland, Oregon, thank you for calling Dennis Prager. Hello, Craig. There is total dead air. It doesn't even sound like— like he's holding on. All right, he wanted to say he's a teacher and kids are much more empathetic. God, that— I want that call. Much more empathetic today. Hmm, like to visit his school. Maybe they empathize more with animals, and I'm not being sarcastic, they may. Uh, let's go to, uh, Salt Lake City. I was just, uh, just there. Hello, Brad in Salt Lake. Dennis Prager, hi.

Hi, how are you?

Good.

You know, I think it's a subtle distinction. The point I would want to make, which is I think what we do is we push happiness on our kids And that's what the drugs, the sex, and all these approximations—

But that's not happiness.

What's that?

That's not happiness.

I know, but it's quick and it's immediate and it approximates—

It's exciting. It's exciting.

Right, right.

And it dulls pain.

Right, right. And I think what as parents in society we need to do is hear, you know, give a place for that pain and that suffering that kids do feel, and I think the happiness will come. You know, I think if happiness becomes your goal, then you're more inclined to seek out things like sex, rock 'n' roll, Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't agree.

I, I, I don't agree. If excitement is your goal, you will seek out the things you mentioned. We have to distinguish for ourselves and for our children the difference between excitement and happiness. And I did a whole show on that, or a whole hour I should say, and I— we should do it again. Excitement is not this. In fact, I have a column on it. Please read it. Please, please, if you take these things seriously, if you have kids, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, or you just want to understand our problem, read these columns. I have a column, Excitement Makes Kids Less Happy. Excitement makes kids less happy. Please hear me. Then they can't enjoy a tree. They can't enjoy a treehouse. They can't enjoy the beach. They're not exciting, let alone, forget a sunset. I don't want to get carried away here. I mean, I don't expect a teenager to go, "Oh, look at that sunset." Although I don't know why not. I do. I mean, really, I don't know. I mean, now that I think of it, maybe I'm not getting carried away. What's wrong with that? Yes, I do want people to pursue happiness. I don't want them to pursue excitement or pursue fun, but I do want them to pursue happiness. The founders of this country were not idiots. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They wanted it too. That's why it's in there. That's why this was a unique country. Still is, but it's in trouble. All right, let's go to the next call here. Los Angeles, California. Carl. Hello, Carl. Dennis Prager.

Dennis, three little words: loss of innocence.

That's correct, but that's— what is innocence? The ability to enjoy the simple.

Well, exactly. And I think when they're real little, when they lose that innocence, they lose that security that they need to feel protected. So then they start looking for these other things that, as you said, provide innocence— I mean, provide excitement.

Excitement. Yes, that's exactly right, my friend. I thank you. That's correct. Let's go to Peggy in Flagstaff, Arizona. Hello, Peggy. Dennis Prager.

Hi there.

Hi.

My story is that I'm the mother of a beautiful daughter who will not believe that there's anything called love out there anymore. She thinks it's something that existed in my husband and my generation and the generation of her friends' parents, but she will literally not go on a date, and she's a gorgeous girl, she will not go on a date as a college girl because she believes that there cannot be anything but sex, that it's, that love—

Well, that's what they were taught by their adults. Well, that's what they were taught. That's what sex ed is. It's not love ed. It's not how to make love. It's not how to feel. It's how to screw and not make a baby.

I couldn't agree with you more.

That, that call guy has got to go in the Hall of Fame. That's right. I believe— I totally believe her. Kids don't believe in love. Believe in career. Believe in success. Believe in fame. They believe in hooking up. Now, there are exceptions. Don't tell me your kid is different. I know your kid is different. I'm generalizing. We'll be back in a moment. I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. Can you imagine playing that for the average teenager today? It would give them a headache. Give us a little Slipknot again so we could understand. Oh, you took it down. All right, when you got it, you let me know. We got our teacher from Portland. We actually sent somebody to Portland to wake him up. Craig, what happened earlier when I called on you?

You were, uh, oh, just a bad cell site.

Oh, bad cell. How good. Thank you for calling.

I really appreciate your show, and I've been teaching school for 22 years, and I've noticed many same things that you have mentioned, um, how the culture has gotten cruder. And, and I, I love your definition of the stupidest generation because, um, I view a lot of today's kids as what we call parent disabled.

And, uh, but, but they are, but, and that's fair to say, but I, I, the society as a whole that, uh, that my generation has created, whether it's MTV or, or sex ed as opposed to, uh, reducing sex to a biological function, uh, these, these things have deprived these kids of the, of the ability to have many loving feelings. Anyway, tell me quickly what you wanted to say because of the time factor.

Sure, sure. Two things. One, uh, Despite that though, I find kids are much, in general, more empathetic with each other, not just the animals as you mentioned earlier. They're nicer to each other than we used to be. There's less name-calling that I see. There's more acceptance of people with special needs and people that look different, different color. I think there's hope. The other point I wanted to make is it's ironic that you bring up the Beatles, "I Want to Hold Your Hand," because 20 years later they were saying, "Why don't we do it in the road?" So, well, you're right.

Isn't that interesting? That, that may be a legitimate point. I think the things did get coarser after the '60s, '70s. That's my whole point. That was the generation, that's my, my generation, that, uh, that blew up, blew up the beauty. It is, we destroyed beauty. There's almost no beautiful art. Beauty is laughed at in the art world, laughed at. If it means nothing, or, or even better, if it has something to do with an excretory function, uh, an entire exhibit of a female artist made out of menstrual blood that was in a major, major museum. I'm not talking about crackpot, the things that are fringe. A man puts crucifix in urine, it's called art, it's shown at museums. If he had done something just beautiful, where would it be shown? Beauty has been killed, and our kids have suffered for it. And that's what I talked about this hour. And forgive me, all the lines are taken, and I totally understand it. We end with, uh, whatever you can say about it, and I don't mind if people listen if it's part of their repertoire. But it's not loving, my friends. This has been the Happiness Hour, a tough one, on the Dennis Prager Show. Now call in on any subject under the sun. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.