Timeless Wisdom - High Holiday Services - Your Family and the Families of Genesis

Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com. Always one of the biggest challenges of my year, what to talk about Russia, Shana'i, and Kippur, because They're supposed to be important talks, and that's my aim. And so, among the many other things, I ask myself, should it be about personal issues, should it be about philosophical, religious, like the first night of Rosh Hashanah was the 17 principles of Judaism. Well, you can't get more personal than this topic. And I, like I suspect every one of you, have learned a lot about this. I may have learned more than some because I think I started out more naive on the subject. And the subject is the family and its troubles. So I want to begin with the Torah. The Torah does a favor, and I mean this absolutely sincerely, I think the Torah does us a tremendous favor by having every one of the families in the entire book of Genesis dysfunctional. And I mean it with I mean with utter sincerity, it is a great service. Jews revere the patriarchs and the matriarchs. Abraham, Abraham, Yitzhak, Yaakov, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. And Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah. Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah. And they are properly revered. But not one had a family without serious problems. And it continues later— Moses's family, as I'll show you, Aaron's family. And there's a reason. But first, let me give you the text. And it doesn't even begin with the patriarchs. It begins with Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve. How is one spouse blaming the other for problems? But the Lord called to the man, 'Where are you?' He answered, 'I heard you in the garden.' This is Adam answering. 'And I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.' And God said, 'Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?' The man said, "The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree and I ate it." The woman you put here. Hey, I didn't even ask for her. It's bad enough when you blame the spouse you chose. So we begin the very first couple recorded in history has a problem. Who's at fault? Who's to blame for their getting kicked out of paradise? It doesn't stop. Genesis 4. So they have two sons, right? Guess what? Genesis 4, verse 8. Now Cain said to his brother Abel, let's go out to the field. While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. So the first couple recorded, the brothers, their only two children, one murders the other. How about the next family we know of? Noah. Noah's family. We've gone, let's see, we've had blame, we've had fratricide, the murder of a brother, now we have incest. Genesis 9: And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father— Noah had gotten drunk— saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. And their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him. Now, we don't know exactly. The Torah doesn't go into detail, but obviously something wrong was done. So this is the one family that's so good that it's saved from the universal flood, and it begins with some form of sexual activity between a father and a son on an unwilling drunken father. Okay, then we go to the first monotheists, the first Jews, Abraham and Sarah, and we get to jealousy and blame, Genesis 16. Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children, but she had an Egyptian servant girl named Hagar. Those of you who only know the names in English, forgive me, I only know the names in Hebrew. And so she said to Abram, the Lord has kept me from having children. Go sleep with my servant girl. Perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan 10 years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian servant girl Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering." See this? Look at that. This is the first Jewish couple, the first monotheist couple, the great patriarch and matriarch. She, it was her idea to establish a family through Hagar, and then says to him, "You're responsible for the wrong I am suffering." Remember Adam and Eve when the roles were reversed? "I put my servant girl in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me." 'Your servant girl is in your hands,' Abram said. 'Do with her whatever you think best.' Then Sarai mistreated Hagar, so she fled from her. A pause for a moment, because this is one of the great themes of my life, because on this rests so much else. One of the many arguments, sheer rational arguments, I give for the divinity of the Torah is that no people would ever make up such an ignoble history of its past. There is no, there is no example of this. This is Abraham and Sarah. Who would make up that Sarah mistreated her servant girl? And yet it is clear that she did, and the Torah says so. And they argue. And who would make up slavery? Nobody in the history of the world would have made up such, again, an ignoble past. We were slaves. Everyone who makes up a past has a noble beginning. Genesis 21, more resentment. The child grew. This is the child of Hagar and Abram. Ismael. And on the day Isaac was weaned— oh, excuse me, this is— then it was— this is about Isaac, not Ishmael. The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned, Abraham held a great feast. But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, and she said to Abraham, get rid of that slave woman and her son, For that woman's son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac. Next verse: The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. So, uh, any of you— you don't have to raise your hands— but any of you, uh, have any tensions in a stepfamily where one spouse doesn't like the attention being given to the stepchild? Or the half-brother or the half-sister. Here you go. Here's a classic example for you from the patriarchs. The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. It's his son, but it's not her son, right? So in effect, it's her stepson. Gets worse. I'll bet you you didn't know that Abraham and Sarah separated. Okay, I'll prove it to you. Genesis 22 and 23. 22:19, then Abraham returned to his servants and they set off together for Beer Sheba, or Beer Sheba, and Abraham stayed in Beersheba. 5 verses later, and the intervening verses have nothing to do with this. 5 verses later, Sarah lived to be 127 years old. She died at Kiriath Arba, that is Hebron, in the land of Canaan. And Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her. After the binding of Isaac, Abraham and Sarah never saw each other again. You know why? Wives don't tend— mothers don't tend to appreciate when fathers wish to sacrifice their sons. That's why. Even if he's a prophet of God, it's not easy to be married to prophets. But there is no question. I do not read into text. I don't like when Orthodox, Reform, Conservative, or anybody else does. It either says it or it doesn't say it. And it says it. He moved to Beersheba, she moved to Hebron, and she died there, and he went there to mourn her. He went there because he wasn't living with her there. They never speak again after the binding of Isaac. They separated. The first patriarch and first matriarch separated. Isaac's sons, how did they get along? Isaac is the son of Abraham. Genesis 25: The babies jostled with each other within her. Isaac's children— Isaac and Rebecca's children started fighting in the womb. You think your kids have—

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They started in the womb. Next, Genesis 26. How many parents today have grief from their child's choice of spouse? Okay. When Esau was 40 years old, that is one of the sons of Isaac, the older son, he married Judith, daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Batsmat, daughter of Elon the Hittite. Next Torah verse: They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah. People skip over this when they read the Torah. But the Torah, these are the right— it's blatant. The matter distressed Abraham greatly. They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah. And this gets much worse. Deception. Genesis 27. Rebekah instructs Jacob to act as if he is Esau and thereby receive Isaac's blessings. For the firstborn. Jacob said to Rebecca his mother, but my brother Esau is a hairy man while I have smooth skin. What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing. His mother said to him, my son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say. Go and get them for me. Up to 22. Verse 22. Jacob went close to his father Isaac who touched him and said— this is one of the great lines, this is Shakespearean in its profundity and poetry— Hakol koli hakol bahayadai midei Esav. The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau. It's one of the greatest lines ever written, where you're deceived because I hear a voice that is sweet, but the arms are violent. Which is it? He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau, so he proceeded to bless him. Are you really my son Esau? he asked. I am, he replied. Verse 30: After Isaac finished blessing him, And Jacob had scarcely left Isaac's presence, Jacob's brother Esau came in from hunting. He too prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Then he said to him, my father, please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing. His father Isaac asked him, who are you? I am your son, he answered, your firstborn, Esau. Isaac trembled violently and said, who Who was it then that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it before you came, and I blessed him, and indeed he will be blessed.' When Esau heard his father's words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, 'Bless me! Me too, my father!' But he said, 'Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.' And now listen to the next verse. Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his had given him. He said to himself, the days of mourning for my father are near, then I will kill my brother Jacob. Okay, your family's been doing very well in comparison to these families. Genesis 29, trickery. Laban was Rebecca's— that's Jacob's mother is Rebecca. Right? Her brother is Laban. That's Jacob's uncle. With me? After Jacob had stayed with Laban for a whole month, Laban said to him, just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages would be. Now Laban had two daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, I'll work for you for 7 years in return for your younger daughter Rachel. Laban said, it's better that I give her to you than to some other man. It's a charming response when you think about it. Jacob must have felt great. Stay here with me. So Jacob served 7 years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. Isn't that a beautiful verse? Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her." So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant. When morning came, there was Leah. So Jacob said to Laban, 'What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?' By the way, notice it's very— I could go on and on on this, but remember, he tricked his father in the dark, and he got tricked in the dark. His father's darkness was because of blindness. His dark was because it was night. Laban replied, 'It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter's bridal week then we'll give you the younger one also in return for another 7 years of work. Okay, next, more marital resentment. When Rachel saw that Leah was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. Right? Rachel saw that she herself was not bearing any children. This is 7 years later. Leah, however, was bearing children. So when Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister Leah. So she said to Jacob, give me children or I'll die. Another difficult marriage, obviously. And I'm, I'm not kidding. Jacob became angry with her and said, am I in the place of God who has kept you from having children? You're blaming me for having children? Every couple since Adam has had blame between the two spouses. Genesis 31, more deception. Jacob deceives Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. So he fled with all he had, crossed the Euphrates River, and headed for the hill country of Gilead. Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there too. Then Laban said to Jacob, What have you done? You've deceived me and you've carried off my daughters like captives in war. Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of timbrels and harps? You didn't even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters goodbye. Anybody know any families where the grandchildren and the grandparents are not getting along because the parents have stopped relations? I do. And, uh, I have— God knows how many callers on my radio show have told me about that. Now, next, bad parenting and sibling rivalry. Genesis 37. Now Israel— that's Jacob— loved Joseph more than any of his other sons. Can you think of a worse way to raise your children? Showing preference to one of your children? So here's another patriarch doing a fundamental error in family life. So he made him an ornate robe. That's the coat of many colors. When his brothers saw that their father loved him, Joseph, more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, listen to this dream I had, which is not too bright on Joseph's part. All right, just— I want you to— but again, please understand the humanity of the Torah. It is so— to me, I can relate to these people. That's the— that's the beauty of the book, plus its brilliance and its profundity and its morality. Joseph had a dream. Listen to the dream I had. We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright. While your sheep's gathered around mine and bowed down to it. Well, it deserves to be laughed at because it's— you can't believe it. It's all— so the father shows favoritism, and then he tells them a dream where they all bowed down to him. He had two of those, by the way. His brother said to him, do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us? And they hated him all the more because of his dream and because of what he said. 17. So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan, but they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him. So how many have already wanted to get— Cain kills Abel, Esau wants to kill Jacob, and the brothers want to kill Joseph. Here comes that dreamer, they said to each other. Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of it.

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Dreams. Verse 28, 26. Judah said to his brothers, what will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him. After all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood. His brothers agreed. By the way, I just want to note, he's not their full flesh and blood, but they still called him flesh and blood. Remember, he's— they're all from different mothers. Not all, but many of them are from different mothers, which shows— and I make this point, it's another huge issue— the Torah teaches that blood doesn't matter, values matter. That's why you have heroes who were not Jewish, like the daughter Pharaoh. But they say blood, flesh and blood, but he's not. He, he's from, uh, Rachel. They're not. So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for 20 shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites who took him to Egypt. Then they got Joseph's robe, slaughtered a goat, and dipped the robe in the blood. They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, 'We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son's robe.' Notice, not our brother's, your son's. He recognized it and said, 'It is my son's robe. Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.' Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, and mourned for his son many days. Think of the cruelty. Not only do they sell him as a slave, but they make their own father believe that their child has been murdered— not murdered, but killed by a ferocious animal. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. No, he said, I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave, so his father wept for him. Then the brothers, of course, meet Joseph. Joseph is, by the way, described as weeping 4 separate times in the story. And 2 more examples of family difficulties. Leviticus 10: Aaron, Moses' brother, Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu, took their censers, put fire in them, and added incense, and they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord. So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. Moses then said to Aaron, this is what the Lord spoke of when he said, among those who approach me, I will be proved holy. In the sight of all the people, I will be honored. Aaron remained silent. He understood why they were killed by God. But Aaron, the brother of Moses, loses his two sons. So now we have the death of a child. And finally, one more example, Numbers 12, gossip and jealousy. Moses has two siblings that we know of, Miriam and Aaron. Miriam and Aaron began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife. Cush is Ethiopia. So he had a black wife, Moses, and they apparently didn't like that, either the color or the not being Jewish. We don't know, or not being from Jewish stock. I don't know if she converted. For he had married a Cushite. Has the Lord spoken only through Moses, they asked? Hasn't he also spoken through us? Okay, have I given you enough examples of dysfunctional families in the Torah? Family life is fraught with pain. If your family is relatively painless, I want you to say a prayer of thanksgiving you tonight when you go home. But I am certain that every single one of you, within your extended families, something painful, really painful— people not talking to each other, people hating each other— it is— I don't know of an exception. I was speaking to someone recently who has an extraordinarily tight nuclear family. Their marriage is terrific, their kids are terrific, which already puts them in a fairly small part of the bell curve. But if you then ask them about their parents, then you get a totally different story. Totally different. I know people in this group, in this congregation, if you will, of whom that is true, whose, whose relations with their children are terrific and with their own parents are awful, or non-relations whatsoever. I know people who— I know, this is amazing to me. I have spoken on the radio often, I've written articles begging adult children not to avoid a parent. Even if you only send email, at least do that, but don't act dead. And then I learned that there are more than a few parents who have decided never to talk to their child. So it's, it's, I would say it's as close to universal as exists, pain in families. So here is the story, a very powerful statement. Do you, most of you know why Well, most of you know what Israel means. Raise your hand if you know what Israel means. Yisrael, the name Israel. So about half of you. Israel means struggle with God. Yisra is to struggle, El is God. Okay? But in the story, when Jacob is renamed Israel because he struggles with this angel in the form of a human, Oh, very few people remember what else the angel in the form of human said. So listen, Genesis 32. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, let me go, for it is daybreak. But Jacob replied, I will not let you go unless you bless me. The man asked him, what is your name? Jacob, he answered. Then the man said, your name will no longer be Jacob but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome. Very few people remember— everybody remembers struggle with God, because that's his name. To struggle with God and to struggle with humans is what humans are about. This is the Torah's message. I wish it were not true. I wish we did not have any struggle with God, and I wish we had no struggles with people. And every one of you has the same exact wish. But the Torah is rooted in reality. That's why I love it. That's why I study it. It's not make-believe. It's not wishful thinking. This is the truth. The nature of the human condition is to struggle. Why do I tell you this? I tell you this— one reason undoubtedly is to give you an idea of how good the Torah is and how valid and so on. But another is to comfort you, to have you realize in the midst of struggles that you have, this is the human condition. Obviously we want to minimize these struggles, obviously, but that's what it— that's, that's when you give birth, when you raise a child, when you make a child, you are bringing someone into the struggling the human condition. Now you don't think that when this cute little thing is born because every child is, as one person said about those who marry after divorce, it's the triumph of hope over experience. Everyone who has a child is a statement of the triumph of hope over experience. I have had it tough. Humans till now had it tough, but you, little one, you're going to have it good. That's the hope, and it's correct. It should be the hope. But this is, this is the human condition, to struggle. To struggle with family, to struggle with humans, and to struggle with God. I don't want it that way, and nor does Judaism, incidentally. Judaism doesn't want that way. It wants you to have a happy family life, and a happy social life, and a happy life with God. So it has some suggestions. That's why something about the family is in the Ten Commandments. And those of you who were here for my Honor Your Father and Mother talk a few years ago, Rosh Hashanah, it's available to you, and I hope you get it through my website. The sense why it's the— it's, it's— there are only 10 things chosen for the Ten Commandments. One of them is to honor your parents. Nothing works if parents aren't honored. Now, I know that there are some parents who are so awful, so evil, if you will, that it's impossible to fulfill that. But most people who don't honor a parent today, it's not because the parent is evil. It's not because of that, but because of— they're difficult. Difficult is very different. The woman who told me she doesn't speak to her mother anymore called up my show, and I had this subject many years ago when I started talking about this. She was 28 years old. She hadn't spoken to her mother in years. So I said— she was from Santa Monica— and I said to her, I said, "Oh, I'm just curious, did your mother molest you?" "Oh no, not at all. She loved me up." "Did she abuse you in some other way?" "No, no, no. I told you, she loved me up." So I'm sitting there totally confused. So I expressed my confusion. I said, "Wait, so your mother really loved you and you don't talk to her now, 5 years?" And she said, "Yes, that's right." And I said, "Why?" She said, "Because if I let her in my life, she has a dominating personality and I couldn't take it." Well, there's no asterisk by honor your father and mother except if they have a charming personality. Only if they have a charming personality. Okay, so she has a dominating personality. All right, so you don't invite her over that much, but how about calling her up? My father called. I told you this.

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4 years ago, but I don't expect you to remember, my father would call his mother up every night of the week except Friday night because he didn't use the telephone on Shabbat. Every night he'd call her up and every night she'd yell at him. And it was, it was clockwork. Clockwork. So what he would do, he called her up in the kitchen. I so well remember this. He'd call her up in the kitchen. I would very often be around when he did. It was after dinner. And when he did, he would— and I'd hear the yelling, but I didn't understand the yelling because the yelling was in Yiddish. They spoke in Yiddish to each other. So I'd hear the yelling. He'd put the phone down, and about every 30, 40 seconds he'd go, "Yama." "Yum." And then put it back down again. But he was a terrific son. Picked up his mother every Sunday to bring her over for lunch. She was a difficult woman, may she rest in peace. I'll never forget, I was about 10 years old and she told me my mother was Hitler. Which I must say, in a Jewish home, is a severe statement. Hitler is a very bad name. And so, and I remember even thinking at 10, this is It was hilarious, my grandmother calling my mother Hitler. I even remembered that. Anyway, I thought, well, Mussolini maybe, but not Hitler. It was just, it was very funny. But, so, every family, you know, that's not big stuff. That's just other stuff. After, you know, and every Sunday my mother made this gigantic meal for both her parents and my father's mother. My father's father had died. And she'd make this huge homemade meal, about you know, 4 or 5 courses, and afterwards my grandmother would compliment her on the cantaloupe. And it was astonishing. And I thought it was— I thought this was like a Shakespearean comedy. It cracked me up to see this happen. But this is it. And she had a favorite. My grandmother had a favorite, just like Jacob had a favorite in Joseph. My grandmother's favorite was my father. And my father's brother and his sisters knew that, and they were wonderful people. So this, this stuff is, uh, doesn't end with the Torah. Then the Torah does another thing which is remarkable. It allows divorce. The Torah so wants happy homes that it allows divorce. There is a rabbi, Perry Netter, who happens to live in in Los Angeles, who wrote a book, Divorce is a Mitzvah, which strikes my Christian friends as one of those rare times where there's a divergence between the faiths on a values issue. And it strikes, totally understandably, my non-Jewish friends as bizarre. It's one thing to allow it, but to have a book, Torah's Divorce is a Mitzvah— mitzvah means commandment, And of course, what he goes on to say is there are circumstances under which it is a mitzvah, because it's no mitzvah to live in misery. You do whatever you can and whatever you can and whatever you can, but Judaism wants a happy home. Permanent is not the same as happy. Everybody, this is a long subject unto itself, and I knew at a very early age before I ever underwent the difficulty, and it's a pretty hellish divorce. But before I ever did, I remember thinking that when people said people divorce too easily, I always ask people, do you know anyone, forget Hollywood, do you know anyone personally who's divorced too easily? Your brother, your sister, your kid, your parents. I had this once on the panel, some of you will recall my first radio show was Religion on the Line, where I'd have a rabbi, priest, and minister each week, different ones each week, and I remember one week talking about divorce and they all said that people divorce too easily. And then I went around and I asked each of them, you know, you all You all said people divorce too easily, so I'm just curious, did anybody in your family divorce? So, started with the rabbi, yes, my parents divorced. Well, did they divorce too easily? Well, Dennis, to tell you the truth, it was a blessing for my mother that she divorced. Thank you. Father, anybody in your family divorced? Well, Dennis, I can give you his name. Father Gregory Coiro. He's one of my dearest friends. Man is a saintly man. Anybody divorced in your family? Yep, my parents. Did they divorce too easily? Well, to tell you the truth, it saved my mother's life. Thank you, Father. Pastor, anybody in your family divorced? My brother's going through a divorce right now. Is he divorcing too easily? Well, Dennis, the truth is they spent 5 years in marital therapy. Thank you. So they all said people divorce too easily, and then in every example that they knew well, they didn't divorce too easily. Judaism wants you to have a happy home. It's not easy. Some people it's easy and they're lucky. You know the secret to a good marriage? I will brazenly tell you what I'll tell you what it is. Luck. After all these years of life and what I have gone through and what I have seen, that's the reason. My parents were happily married for 69 years. That's a long marriage. And you know why? Not because they read one book on marriage. Not because they worked through all their difficulties through joy. But because they were so bloody lucky that they found each other. I am not sure that there is another female on earth who could have lived with my father, and what's more, he's the one who told me that. And when my mother died, it devastated him, and he's still devastated 4 years later. I just spoke to him today, of course. So, uh, It's good to choose right, and it's good to have luck, and it's good to marry. There are too many people today who think it's not important to marry. You speak to young people, including women, for the first time in history women don't think it's important to marry. Shows you the effect of the brainwash that has taken place in our society, that they really think they'll get greater joy out of about being a CEO, that's if they become a CEO, very few people do become one, than a good marriage and family. It's so, to me it is so absurd, it's so contrary to truth that, but nobody likes to admit it, it's the naked emperor, that career doesn't give most women the joy that a good marriage would. There are laws in Judaism for conjugal relations. You will have intimacy. I know there are kids here, so I'm just polishing my language. But you will be physically intimate with each other the following number of times. And it just— Judaism believes marriage is a contract. That's why there's a ketubah. Ketubah is a contract. It's contract. You, you owe him this, she owes you that, he owes her this. Uh, it's repeated, uh, the very same kind of idea is repeated in the New Testament, that, uh, her body belongs to him and his body belongs to her. Shabbat is a tremendous contributor to family harmony. That was my favorite day of the week not for theological reasons, but for family reasons. The house changed Friday night and Saturday. It was a happier home. And I'm not saying it was a miserable home, but it was a happier home Friday night and Saturday, and I loved it. And while in my home my parents didn't do it, in most observant homes, not even just Orthodox, parents bless the children, and I've been I am— I've been to so many homes for Friday night, and when I see it, I, I well up inside on how lucky the parent and the child is to have this blessing. And of course, the kid is 15 years old, and, you know, I'm going to be blessed by my mother or by my father? You know, I'm beyond this, I'm 15. But they never walk away, and I never heard anybody who said I wish I wish my parents didn't bless me Friday night. Never met anybody who had that. The Shabbat? Hmm? Well, that's more rare, but the husband blessing the wife would be another one. My father certainly would have done that, had he thought of it. Instead, what he did, he spent half the evening telling us how much he loved my mother and what soft skin she had. My father was very forward in these matters, and I can't prove it to you beyond that. Just take my word for it. And Judaism, by the way, there's another way Judaism does make for a good family life. And I think, when all is said and done, Jews have been known for pretty good family life. And that is that Judaism is house-centered, home-centered, not synagogue-centered. The home is called the Mikdash Ma'at, the little temple. It's a good name for it. That's where things happen. Non-Jews are amazed when they know intimately how, you know, that, you know, you get big family dinners in most Christian life, Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. But in Judaism, every Shabbat, And every holiday, and we have enough holidays for, you know, we could fill 3 religions' worth of holidays, the number of holidays in Judaism. But they all revolve around eating with your family and friends. They have an impact. So Judaism tried to work a way to figure out how to undo the natural inclination to dysfunction in family life. And I think if it's lived right, it works. And I will conclude with a very powerful verse from the prophet Malachi in Malachi 4. Malachi in Hebrew. Do you know, uh, he says that before the Messianic age, God will send Elijah the prophet to announce what is coming. But do you know the first thing that Elijah will do when he comes? Malachi 4, verse 5: See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. And you know what he will do? He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children. And the hearts of the children to their parents. That's the first thing he'll do. Our trick is to do it before Elijah comes. But I want you to be comforted by the Torah that says it's tough. It's really tough. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bible Devils.