Timeless Wisdom: Ultimate Issues Hour - How Do You Make A Good Person?

Welcome to Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Hear thousands of hours of Dennis's lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. And to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles, go to DennisPrager.com. You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show, to the Ultimate Issues Hour. Every week at this hour, I talk about some great issue of life, some ultimate issue as I call it, in the hope that we can understand life and live it, understand it better and live it better. I have talked to you on many occasions about the fact, not my belief, the fact that the human being is not basically good. That we have not, I don't believe basically evil either necessarily, But I do believe that what is pretty obvious, and that is that untutored, undisciplined, the human being is more likely to do more bad than good. That there is great work necessary to make good people. And that is the subject of this edition of the Ultimate Issues Hour. How do you make a good person? Well, the truth is, in order to make a good person, the first thing you have to do is realize that you have to make one. That is lost upon vast numbers of people, especially, especially, especially in our time. We do live, remember, in the age of stupidity. There was a Renaissance, there was an Age of Reason. There was the Enlightenment, and we now have the age of stupidity. And in the age of stupidity, people do not realize how significant it is to wage a war even, but to make great efforts at making a person good. Because we don't start out that way. Babies aren't good. One of the great misconceptions of life: babies are not good. Don't be offended. I didn't mean to offend you, but babies are not good. Babies are innocent. There are no baby pictures up at post offices. There are no baby rapists. There are no baby Bank robbers, I understand that. Babies aren't bad, but they're not good. They are, in fact, the most selfish creatures in the world. And there is no reason for us to leave the self-centeredness of babyhood as we get older unless we are taught to leave it. We are naturally narcissistic. We are naturally self-preoccupied. And to a certain extent, by the way, we should be. We should take care of ourselves and we should be concerned with ourselves. That is important. But not just with ourselves and not to be primarily self-preoccupied. So in order to make good people, you have to start out with the realization and the acknowledgement that we need to make good people. It's so obvious that it has eluded vast stretches of our society and of our Western world, where we think that, oh, if you just raise children with love and a good education at school, they'll be productive and good citizens and good people. But it is not true. It is not true. They'll just be well-educated barbarians. We need so much. It is the hardest task in the world. It is easier, hear me, it is easier to produce, and I mean this literally, it is easier to produce a rocket scientist or a neurosurgeon than it is a good person. We know exactly what we have to do to produce a rocket scientist or a neurosurgeon. You give X number of years of education under the following tutors, bah, da-na, you automatically get one. It's pretty much guaranteed. You give the following inputs and you get the following output. It's not so, it's not nearly as easy with goodness. Not nearly as easy. And there is no one solution that is as clear as how do you produce a good doctor. That's relatively easy. You give them a good medical education and unless they are incapable of absorbing the material, they'll be a good doctor. Maybe not a great doctor, maybe no bedside manner, uh, or, or some other— some— they will have some other lapses in their professional life, but they'll be, they'll be competent. How do you make a competently good person? We obviously fail in the cases of hundreds and or billions of people. There are a lot of people who are not good in this world. And by the way, by, by, uh, by good, I don't mean a— on the one hand, I don't mean a saint, and on the other hand, I don't mean merely somebody who doesn't murder anybody. I made a video, and I beg you to see this video and show it to your kids. I made one on goodness, a very, very funny Hollywood film that I made called For Goodness' Sake. Through DennisPrager.com, is that right? Just go to DennisPrager.com. And you know, I don't advertise like this, this is— but I'm telling you, this, this could change the way you and your children look at goodness. It's very funny, it's got major Hollywood folks in it, but it's, it's, it's, it's something that I've been preoccupied with for so long, and that is the issue of making good people. How do you make a person good? And it is not easy. So number one, number one, you have to acknowledge that you have to make people good. It doesn't happen on its own. Now there is a small percentage of humanity where it does happen on its own. Many of you may know a child who from birth was just a doll. You didn't have to teach them anything. They just instinctively did what was good. They were kind from the outset. But for the other 80% of humanity, we have to have the acknowledgement that someone needs to be made good. That's number one in addressing the issue of how do we make good people first realize it. Number two, you know what number two is? No, you don't. But you do. Number two is it has to be the most important thing that you, that you teach a human being. For most parents, it is not the most important. Their child's success, their child's academic success or athletic success or their popularity with other students are more important. More time is devoted and, uh, to it. Goodness is not number one. Character is not number one for most parents, even for many good parents, many parents who were good people. They don't— but goodness is not number one. And one way to figure it out is ask your kid, okay? Ask your kid. If your kid is 5, 15, or 55, it doesn't matter. I want you to ask your child this question. What do you think I, your mother, or I, your father, most want you to be? You gotta get the words right, folks. What do you think I— not what do you want— what do you think I, your mother or father, most— that's the key word— most want you to be? A success in life? Or just successful if you wish. Successful, happy, or good. What do you think I most want you to be? I want you to be all three, and we all know that, but I want— what do you think I most? That way you get feedback immediately. What is it that I have conveyed to my child that I most want from my child? I have— and I'll give you another example of where we fail in this regard. I wrote a piece— whoa, did I get hate mail on this. I wrote a piece— I should update this piece. I wrote a piece on the following question: would you rather your teenager smoke or cheat? And it is— it was astonishing to me how many said that they would prefer that their kids cheated on tests than smoked a cigarette or a cigar. So don't tell me that ethics is number one, or goodness is number one. So two— I've given you two guidelines On how to make a good person. One, to know that they have to be made. It doesn't come naturally. And two, to make it number one. We continue on the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. You're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, the Ultimate Issues Hour, the great questions of life. This hour every week is devoted to some ultimate issue, and this one is how do you make a good person? Number one, I said, was you have to acknowledge you have to help make a good person because it rarely happens on its own. It does, but rarely. We have to work as a society and as parents to make good people. Number 2, it has to be the number 1 priority. It has to be above all other goals. And you know, there are many goals in life, and I have many goals in life, and I advocate many. And as much as I give staggering importance to happiness, still number 1 is goodness. All right, now How do you do that? Once you have acknowledged that you have to try to make good people as a society and as parents, and once you say, okay, it is, it is number one, it is more important than any other single consideration, that is being a good person. Now, many of you will say, well, what is a good person? We'll deal with that. Put that down, Emma. We'll deal with that. What is a good person? I'd like to deal with that as a UI issue. I, I, I, I, if I don't narrowly focus each of these hours, we'll never get anything done. So please understand, folks, I understand that as a valid question, but I suspect that we have somewhat similar views of what a good, decent person is. All right, number, number 3 then, or number 1, now that we know we have to, and make a good person, and now that we know that it should be the priority. Okay, number 1, here it goes. You have to teach a child, and for that matter, an adult. We have to teach, we have to teach people to battle themselves first. This is not done. It is done in some religious homes, not all, and it is done in very few secular homes. The understanding that the greatest battle in your life is not with the outside world, it is with you. I have often characterized the difference between my religious education and a typical secular education, as many religious people, whether in our society Christian or Jew, have identified with this, that the greatest— that we were taught that the greatest battle is with yourself. I was taught, Dennis, the greatest problem in your life, the greatest obstacle to overcome is Dennis, not society. And in society, you get a very different, very often a very different view. The greatest obstacle is outside of you. Classism, racism, whatever it is. There is something out there that has to be fought. You're terrific, but the society is really the bad place. And I was taught society's pretty darn good. It's you, Dennis, that have to be battled, not this society. Now, there are societies where the battle is great. There are some evil societies in this world, and there, there it is different. There you have to battle the society and yourself. But in a free, decent society, which this largely is, I am my basic problem and you are your basic problem, and the obstacles to your being a good person and leading a good life are overwhelmingly within you. What are they? Well, they're all our weaknesses. We are born self-centered. Irresponsibility is the norm, not responsibility. What kid is born responsible? Uh, Jima, I'd really like to clean the table now that I finished eating. Uh, there's no reason for you to do this work since you have so much to do during the day. Allow me to do it. If there is a child who naturally said that, I want you to send me his name or her name. I, I, I cannot believe that that child has ever been invented, because it would have to be invented. They wouldn't have been born under normal circumstances. Laziness, appetites, prejudices. I mean, we're just filled. We are filled with stuff that we have to battle that is in all of these things within us naturally. So here is point 3 and rule number 1 on making a good person. You have to battle yourself. Because if you follow what you want to do You're going to hurt people. You are. It's just natural. You have to learn to share. How many times did you say to your kid, learn to share, you have to learn to share? You ever see the typical kid at a birthday party hoard the cookies? If the kid ate as much cookies as he was holding, he would have to have his stomach pumped. Why are you carrying 32 cookies? I want them. I want them. Well, there's a kid here starving, he doesn't have any. I don't care. I mean, I'm making up a hyperbolic scenario, but that would be the same thing. How many times have you told your kids, say thank you? Do you think gratitude comes naturally? Gratitude is entirely taught. Because we are self-centered, we think that things are coming to us. We think that we deserve it. Well, of course my parents do all these things for me because I'm the center of the universe. Of course people do these things for me because I'm the center of the universe. So you teach to say thank you. Say thank you. Say thank you. Say thank you. And we do that with our kids because they don't naturally say thank you. It is a completely unnatural gratitude. Completely. That, and that is a perfect function of being so self-centered. I am a gravitational pull. Therefore, does the sun thank the, the earth for staying within its gravity? No, because the sun is the sun and has such a gravitational pull, of course the, the planets will orbit it. That's how we think. We have such gravitational pull, of course people will orbit us. So number one, you have to teach the human being that you have to battle your nature. And there's a whole list, as I gave a list, just irresponsibility, laziness, appetites. I mean, we know, certainly we adults know about the appetites issue, whether it's food, sex, whatever it might be, fame, money. If you let your appetite run your life, then you're not going to— you're not— of course you won't be a happy person, but this is not the happiness hour. This is, this is about, this is about character and ethics. And it's a very good question for people and for society. Do schools teach kids to fight themselves? No, not at all. That's gone. Character education, by and large, is dead. Maybe a handful of schools will still have it in the way that I mean it. Where— and character education doesn't mean that you, you run for breast cancer. That's a very nice thing to do, but that's not character education. Character education is battling yourself. Yeah, I would like to get it. I really do want to get a good grade on this test, but I won't cheat on it. More coming up, and I'll take your calls and your challenges. 1-800-PRAGER-7777. 6. This is the, the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show. This is the Ultimate Issues Hour, and this The first one is how do you make good people? How do you make people good? Because we don't start out good. Number 1, acknowledge that we have to make people good, that they don't start out good. Number 2, make it the number 1 priority for society and for parents. Number 3, once you do it, you start with the notion that you have to battle yourself first. Character development means you battle your own self. Oh, I have a lot more. I have a lot more, and this may be just part one, but I do want to take your calls here from around the country. And, uh, boy, let's begin with, uh, Robert in St. Petersburg, Florida. Robert, Dennis Prager, hi.

Hey, Dennis, how you doing? I met you in Naples one time. Yeah, I, I guess a real simple answer to that is what my father always said. Set a good example and trust that you did well. And then that's, that's what he did, and that's what I did. My son's a very fine young man, just back from Iraq, and a good father and all that. And it just comes from living a lifestyle and knowing that you're doing the right thing, and always do the right thing.

So, well, Robert, I think there's a lot more. You may be selling yourself short. I want to respond to that. It's a very important call. It comes up all the time. Maybe just parenting is a matter of good modeling. Nope, I wish it were so. Oh boy, do I wish. From Robert's mouth to God's ears. Nope, I'm sorry, good modeling is important but not sufficient. Necessary but not sufficient. You know how many parents of the, in my opinion, how many parents of the baby boomers So many of whom became so narcissistic. My generation of college and graduate students, parents were just fine, fine people, and the kids were incredibly self-centered, spending their lives alternating between getting high on sex and getting high on drugs and getting high on drink. And yeah, make love, not war, man. Don't bother me, man. Don't bother me with any of these big issues. I, you know, I'm just— I want to enjoy myself. And those parents were fine parents. Also, on the modeling issue, let me ask you a question. Can you model music? You give your child piano lessons, or do you just play piano? You're a great model. Look at how great a piano you play, but you still give your child piano lessons. It doesn't help that you're— that you're a good model, or might help. But it's hardly enough. No, no, no, it's not enough to be a good model, and a lot of parents, I think, have been fooled by that. I think it may have come out well in Robert's case here, and I still don't think that's the only thing he did. He probably doesn't realize how many values he passed on verbally and how much his society or extended family helped in raising the children. But a good parent, a parent who is good, a parent who is a good person, is by no means sufficient. All right, let's go to Ryan in Gilbert, Arizona. Hello, Ryan. Dennis Prager.

Hey, how are you, Dennis?

Okay, thanks.

Good. Hey, I was just wondering what the definition of the word good is.

Yeah, I mentioned earlier that I'm going to spend an entire hour just answering what is a good person. But, uh, well, the beginning one, I guess, is to take the Hippocratic oath, and that is first do no harm.

Okay, okay. Like, even in the Old Testament, I know it talks about, uh, good deeds being righteousnesses, but if they're not done, uh, for God specifically, then they're considered like filthy rags.

Yeah, I don't buy that. I mean, that's a theological difference that you and I would have, and, and, okay, and, and theological differences are, are not something I tend to go I believe that God values the good deed of an atheist and a pagan. I don't think God looks at two atheists, one is a murderer and one spends his life in the hospital for terminally ill children, and says, well, since you both don't believe in me, I have no use for any of the goodness, and I don't care about any of the evil that the bad guy did. I do not believe in that sort of God.

I do think it culturally has an effect, and I do think that the good as the world sees it is one thing, and we can recognize what good is because of general revelation.

And okay, well, all right, that, that's an— that's— I am yet to come to that. And that is a code of goodness. It is not enough to come from inside the individual. A code of goodness is necessary. Absolutely right. Then comes the question, does— is it enough for the code to be human? Does it have to be divine? This is a complex question, but I am taking it part by part. We continue with the Ultimate Issues Hour and the question of how do you make people good on the Dennis Prager Show. All righty, everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, and this is the Ultimate Issues Hour, an hour each week devoted to the great questions of life. This one is how do you make people good since we don't start out good How do you make a person good? And as I said, it has to be the number one question of society. How do we make good people? Not, not, not how do we make good government? That's important, but how do we make good people? That's the— that is the first and most important question, and it should be asked by anyone in any religion, in and in, in, outside of religion. And that should be the number— that's the one thing that should unify all people of every religion and of no religion. How do we make people good? Then theology can kick in, that's fine. Different religions will have different methodologies. Different secular people may have different methodologies, that's fine. But the first question has to be asked is how do we make a good person? And if you don't put goodness at the center of your religion, then you're gonna suffer. That doesn't mean that other things can't be at the center. Of course, God is at the center of many religions. I understand that. But believe me, there are people who believe in God who do not place goodness at the center, and they produce bad people. God, even God is not enough. I believe God's necessary, but not sufficient even there. Goodness has to be stressed. And battling, battling oneself is of the essence, and that's what I was talking about. And now let's go to some more of your calls here. Thomas, Thomas in Minneapolis. Dennis Prager, hi.

Well, I commend you on your show, and it's an interesting question.

Good.

I have to disagree with you totally, Dennis.

Mm-hmm.

In this sense, have you ever heard the expression, "The devil made me do it"?

Yup.

Okay, so we don't make people good. People are not made good, but what we can do is through parentage form the conscience of the child.

It's the same thing.

No, it's not.

It's identical. It's identical.

It's not semantics, and I don't want to get into that.

Alright, well, then that's fine. Then, then we realize then there's no call. Well, you're only differing with me in the language you use, but we both believe— you say form the child's conscious and I say make the child good. What is the difference?

Well, because you can't impose goodness.

I didn't say you impose. I said how do you make a good child? It's like how do you make a good sculpture? How do you, how do you make a good—

you form it.

Yes, that's so, that's so that we don't disagree at all. We just— you use the word form and I use the word make. That's it. That's the whole difference. All right, folks, I hereby change the title of this hour: How Do You Form a Good Person? All right, now Thomas is with me. All righty, 1-800-PRAGER-776. Any questions, challenges? 1-800-PRAGER-776. And over to Maggie in Corona, California. Maggie, Dennis Prager. Yeah.

How are you doing? Well, good. I love your show, by the way.

Thank you, I love it too.

What I wanted to say is I have always taught my kids, uh, should. We use should a lot. For example, a normal thing that kids will do in the stores, they'll, you know, they'll grab something, they'll touch it, and I simply say, is that yours? They'll say no. I say, well, then you should you be touching it? They say no, and it's pretty much done. They've answered it for themselves, what not to do. And my kids are pretty good.

Listen, I, I— that's fine, folks. I don't believe there's only one methodology. As you notice, I haven't even given any methodology yet. All I have said is the first thing that we have to do to make good people is know that we have to make— excuse me— form good people. And that's number one. Number two is that we have to make it the most important goal of society and of parents, making good people. Nothing else will work. Nothing else. By focusing on, quote, social justice before making good people with character, it's putting the cart before the horse. Social justice is a product of good people. You make good people, they will care about making a just society. But you, if you don't build character, then social justice becomes a politicized term and it doesn't achieve any goodness in society. First thing is making good people. All right, so the next thing is you need a code of behavior. You need a code. It is not enough to rely— you can't rely on your heart. Well, child, I'm not going to tell you what the right thing is. I want you to— I just want you to ask your own heart. Consult with your own heart and see what you come up with. It is not— it is not sufficient. It may be helpful, but it is hardly, hardly sufficient. My heart is shaped by my desires. And that's why I said you have to battle yourself. That's the first thing you have to teach a child and an adult. By the way, the things that we have to teach children are the same things we have to teach adults. This notion that, you know, some notion that, oh, it only applies to children is absurd. We have to teach ourselves to battle ourselves every day to be a good person. We have to remember that goodness is number one in our own lives every day. We are weak. We have ethical battles all the time. Will I fudge the rules to get a raise? Will I lie in order to stay, to win some coveted place, whether it's in politics or in the office or what have you? We are confronted with challenges to our character every day. Every day in every profession, we are challenged. Doctors are, lawyers are, talk show hosts are, everybody is. And to see life in those terms is a very good thing, to see it in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, constantly. People fight that a lot because they don't want to be bothered by it, but it's the healthiest way to look at it. So we need a code. On another occasion, where does that code come from? That's, that's, uh, that'll be, uh, on another occasion. Final segment of this edition of the Ultimate Issues Hour, and I'd be happy to take more calls and challenges at 1-800-PRAEGER-776. For the video, the On Goodness that I Made, call 800-225-8584. 800-225-8584. You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show. This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

Popular, happy, well-rounded kids across America are being exploited online through a sinister scheme that leaves them broken, defeated, or worse. January is National Human Trafficking Prevention Month in the U.S. And to raise awareness, SalemNow.com is offering Sexploited in America, the 4-part docuseries from AGA Media, at 50% off. Sexploited in America, now just $4.99 at SalemNow.com.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom. You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show. You can download this show and all my others at prageradio.com. And this one is— is— I wish you would, because it is the most important issue in life, and that is how to make good people. This is the Ultimate Issues Hour, an hour each week devoted to some great issue of life, and that is how do you make or form good people. We go over to Charles in Denver. Charles Dennis Prager, hi.

Hey, Mr. Prager, I gotta tell you, I'm a bookseller at a major bookstore. A major chain store, and my staff pick is Happiness Is a Serious Problem. Oh. I love seeing that go out the door.

Thank you, thank you. That obviously brings me great pleasure. Thank you.

And my feeling is that it's a simple axiom that as long as you try to bring happiness to other people, as long as you think of other people before yourselves, you cannot be a bad person.

Oh, I agree. The problem is how do you get people to think about others first? That's not the natural— that's not natural. I'm sorry?

Well, the responsibility is to— yes, my example for your children.

Ah, but I answered— no, I answered the example issue. It's not enough.

The children, if they see that as the natural way to act, that they grow up feeling that I wish— I wish other people— that's the way people act.

You know what? You know what, Charles? Thank you. I am going to ask Alan to do this. Alan, I would like to have It doesn't have to be an Ultimate Issues Hour. I would like to ask people, do you know good people who have kids who are not good? And I bet you our lines light up within 10 seconds. That's, that's the thing. People— this is a myth. People who are good will have good children. No, they have a better chance. Than people who are bad? Of course, of course. Modeling is important. Again, it's necessary but not sufficient. And so that's why I'm strong on this. And folks, in this regard, never use the word simple when it comes to goodness. It is not simple to make good people. If it were simple, the world would be in terrific, terrific shape. It's quite difficult. In Floyd's Knobs, Indiana, Rob. Hello, Rob. Dennis Prager.

Hi, Dennis. Hi. I agree with a lot of what you're saying. It seems like you're saying that man is inherently evil.

Well, no, not, not good, but go ahead.

Okay, well, um, I want to come back to that, but in hearing you talk more, I wanted to throw something at you, and that is a non-subjective definition of good and evil, or of evil anyway. And, uh—

Oh, you know, all right, that I have to hold on for the next time we do that. Let me just leave you, and forgive me, Rob, let me just leave you again. Number one, we have to remember we have to make good people. They have to be formed. That doesn't come naturally. Number 2, it has to be the number 1 priority. Number 3, you have to teach people to battle themselves. The Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs. To purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.