Timeless Wisdom: Ultimate Issues Hour - What Do Women Want?

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This is the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show.

Every week at this hour, I talk to you about some great issue of life. And it might be micro, it might be macro, it could be religious, philosophic, moral, human nature, some of the great questions of life. And I am now—

you can't get greater than this one, certainly in terms of, of it mystifying much of humanity, if not all of humanity.

What do women want? And I, I raise it because of the news item today about this tragic story. And to me, it is a tragic story. I, and I, I, I must tell you, I resent anyone in the media making fun of the, of the, of this astronaut, of making jokes about it.

All I think of is that we have here a mother, a wife, a mother of 3 children, and, and all the lives that have been terribly affected by this, by this terrible story.

I don't find it funny at all, and I, I might even have a very dark sense of humor, but there's nothing funny about it.

But it does raise a tremendous question.

We have here the story of this astronaut. She has just, incidentally, just been charged with first-degree, uh, attempted first-degree murder.

And here is a woman who both literally and figuratively reached the greatest heights a, a human can achieve, being an astronaut and actually being in, uh, in outer space. You can't, you can't get a more prestigious position in this country. Maybe President of the United States, maybe that would be it. That would be the one more prestigious position or achievement. An astronaut is that highly regarded. And what does it all boil down to when all is said and done? She is in the midst of a romantic triangle or whatever the the facts may come out as, and she is not the issue for this hour, but rather I use this only as an example to say that I believe that a generation of women in the post and height of feminism period from the '60s on have been terribly, terribly misled to deny what for most women is the greatest single yearning of their life, and that is to find a good man who will love her and whom she will love. For the great, great, great majority of women, that is their greatest and deepest yearning. You cannot say this at a college campus. To say this is to be regarded as a patriarchal anachronism, as something from the Stone Age morally.

No, that's not what women want. In fact, there was a Los Angeles Times piece just this very week, in fact, 2 days ago, Los Angeles Times piece titled "She Earns More and That's Okay." And it's about how many, how often it is now that women are earning more, how they are now half the law school students, half the medical school students, that the ratio of college degrees is now essentially 6 to 4 in favor of females, and how wonderful this is.

And they have this historian, a family historian, Stephanie Coontz, whom I've had on my program, and she is quoted here: "There's a certain exhilaration that women are feeling," historian Coontz said. "Women have suddenly been freed to pursue ambitions that they once had to channel into finding a successful man rather than being a successful person." And that's the classic feminist and academic and elite statement. That is what you will read and hear and read and hear and read and hear over and over, and that is That is what girls are told. Now, there was an article in the New York Times Magazine by a feminist mother who was writing recently about how the idea of her daughter wanting to be a princess and having princess dolls disturbed her a great deal because it implied that what she really wants is to be a princess married to a great prince, when in fact what she should really want is to be a successful whatever it is in the outer world and make a nice income and be a success in some profession. And that's what women really, really want. They shouldn't have, as Stephanie Coontz writes, they shouldn't have to channel themselves, channel their ambitions into, quote, finding a successful man rather than being a successful person. And so On this Ultimate Issues hour, I'd like to venture an answer to the question of what do women want. And if they know their nature, that's what they really want. They want a good man to love and be loved by. That is the way it has been throughout history until the very modern, modern contemporary period in American life. 1-800-PRAGER-776. 1-800-PRAGER-776. Oh, if only you could see all the emails and on occasion hear the calls from women who have been very successful and don't have a man in their life and ask and say, you know, I was really led to believe that this is where the greatest satisfaction for me The greatest satisfaction for me really has been— I was told, I should say, I, a woman, I was told the greatest satisfaction will be in professional success. Well, here I am making into the 6-figure income, and I said, oh, I'll be successful and then I'll find a man one day. Well, here I am at 40 years of age, and by golly, I really am successful, run my own business with a really good top law firm or whatever it might be, and the prospect of another 50 years, and by golly, most women have every reason to believe that unless tragedy strikes, they will live till 90 or more, and then they'll have the great, great professional success. But that's not what they most want. Now, I'm not speaking for every single woman on the face of the earth. There's no such thing. But for the vast majority of women, it is a good man to— and I emphasize good man, not any man. And there was a time where basically any man who, so long as he made an income, made a living, that he might suffice as a husband. That should not be. It should be a good man. And I speak a great deal on this program and have written a great deal about what it means to be a good man, which includes first and foremost to take care of a woman and a family. But I believe, and it pains me that women, young women, and now they're not so young anymore, have been led to believe that their nature, they don't have this in their nature. Now, as this Stephanie Kuntz writes Women have suddenly been free to pursue ambitions that they once had to channel into finding a successful man rather than being a successful person. As if success, this defined success entirely in the outside of relationship realm. But women are relationship oriented. I remember the stories told by people who raised their daughters in non-sexist ways. They wouldn't give their daughters dolls. And I think of the former president of Harvard, Lawrence Summers, who told the story about his daughter. He and his wife gave their daughter trucks instead of dolls, and to his amazement, he found that his little girl had named the trucks, gave the trucks names, to have a relationship, as it were, with the trucks. 1-800-PRAGER-776. This is what the deepest yearning is in female nature. And to say this on a college campus today is equivalent to saying in an astronomy class that the Earth is flat or that the sun revolves around the Earth. Alrighty, let's go to your calls here. And 1-800-PRAGER-776 is the number. We will as soon as we come back.

This poor woman, and the, uh, the just the whole story is heartbreaking. I think of the families involved here. Came an astronaut and still what propelled her more than anything was, uh, in the realm of love and relationship. We return, and I will take your calls, including the many that differ, if there are, at 1-800-PRAGER-776 on the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

This is the Ultimate Issues Hour of the Dennis Prager Show, an hour each week on some great issue of life. And the issue today is what do women want? And I brazenly offer you the answer that they, they most yearn— female nature most yearns for relationship. And it is ideally with a man.

I say ideally because women are so, so yearning for relations that if it isn't going to be a man, it may well be, and I do not mean this in sexual terms, but it may well be with an animal. It is not coincidental that overwhelmingly it is single women who work most with animals.

At preserves, at places where animals are taken care of, in the animal rights movement.

And the passion to have a relationship is so deep, to love and be loved, that it has simply been thwarted because they have been told, as I read to you from this LA Times article about women earning more than men, and it is about the, the, this historian Stephanie Coontz says, you know what, it used to be that women had to channel their ambitions into finding a successful man rather than being a successful person. But now women have been freed to pursue those, those successful and their ambitions for success.

Without a man.

1-800-PRAGER-776.

Take your calls, your challenges. Sean in Fountain Hills, Arizona. Dennis Prager, hi.

Hi, Dennis.

Hi.

Hey, um, I understand and I appreciate your point and I agree with you, but I'm wondering why you're limiting it, making it exclusive to women. Why isn't this a discussion about the deepest yearning in human nature I mean, it may take more time for a man to realize it in his life, but isn't it a human virtue? Isn't it tacit to being a human to want to love and be loved?

Yeah, of course men want to love and be loved.

Of course.

But unless you hold, and you might, so let's analyze that. Do you believe that women and men have virtually identical natures?

Well, no.

Okay, then, then, Sean, then it is fair to say, what do women want as a, as a specific subject?

Well, I mean, you're talking about all the attributes of men and women, but to say that women are quote-unquote relationship-oriented, which—

that, that's their deepest yearning, yes.

Okay, but I mean, that seems to imply that men aren't.

And no, it implies that men have a, a somewhat different deepest yearning. And I'll give you, I'll give you the way I would answer it. I believe certainly it's true for me that that is, that is as deep a yearning as anything else. However, men are not capable of being happy with that as their primary issue in life, as their primary achievement in life, as women would be. A woman is far more capable of having satisfaction and happiness in life, being loved by and loving a good man, than a man is by solely loving and being loved by a good woman. For him, more than for female nature, outward achievement, conquering the world, is a yearning on that level. And what feminism has said is women are like men and wish to conquer the world just as much as men do. But that's not so. That's why I gave the astronaut story only as an example, only to use it as a springboard for this discussion.

She obviously doesn't typify all women. Most women don't get involved in the tragic circumstances that, uh, that this astronaut has.

So yes, men and women are, uh, are different in their deepest yearnings. Thank you, Sean. It was an important question. And we go to Lakeville, Minnesota.

Janet. Hello, Janet. Dennis Prager.

Hi, Dennis.

Hi.

Um, I have lived this, the whole nine yards. I was a tomboy. I went away to college. I got my first degree in education, and I taught elementary school, went back, got the MBA, the CPA, worked for two of the finest corporations in the United States, or practically worldwide. Absolutely phenomenal. I retired about 8 years ago, and I— so I had the career, I had the travel, I had everything. My first marriage in the early '80s was on the rocks from the get-go, but we did have one son. Part of it was my own issues, but I am now married to a man who is absolutely the dream of my life. If I would have met someone— like, I can say that, but hindsight, you know, 20/20. But he has become the father to my son. He is, he's a guy's guy, but we have a great relationship. But I have lived this independent stuff, the travel, the small family, and I am the happiest now that I have ever been.

Well, you know what, you need to write your story or go to colleges and tell young women at college that they're being served a false meal.

I actually teach college now.

Oh good, what subject, business?

I teach management information systems 'cause it's the business side of computer science. They wouldn't let me in the humanities department.

Naturally, but if you could ever sneak this into the women.

Oh, they get it.

That would be a very good thing.

I thank you very much. Alrighty, let's go to Ryan in Phoenix. Ryan, Dennis Prager, hi.

Hi, Dennis, this is Ryan. Love your show.

Thank you.

It's great to talk to you, I appreciate it. I'm 26, will be 26 on Saturday, and I'm married. And we've been married for a little over 5 years and my wife has always thought of herself as a princess. Um, so I think it was kind of funny when you said that. Um, even now, you know, I bought her like a Bible cover and it says princess on it. I know she loved that, but, uh, I, I just, um, I thought I really appreciate the fact that she is one of those women who is looking for a successful man and hopefully I can become that. Um, But she, uh, I'm sorry, a little nervous here.

That's all right, it's totally understandable.

What you're saying is at 26 years of age you, you recognize this to be true?

Yes, yes, I do. I mean, I'm— there are exceptions.

You're, you're religious, I got from the Bible, right?

Yes, uh, Christian.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, you know what, this is one of the reasons that a lot of people of the, the secular elite have a problem with the, with the religious in our society. Society, because you will take this view and this drives them crazy. My wife wants to be a princess. The Cinderella story is largely true, that that is the woman's yearning. There is a huge denial of this. There is in fact at the university, and I'm generalizing because a generalization means by definition that is generally true. Of course there are exceptions to what I'm saying, but generally speaking, at the university, the idea is offered to people, and especially to young women, this is not what you want. Deny your nature. You have a nature indistinguishable from that of men. Sexually, you want to be as promiscuous as male nature wants men to be. You want to be successful in the outer world. Relationships are nice but not, not central to your, to your self-assessment, and it's all a lie.

We'll be back in a moment. You're listening to The Dennis Prager Show, The Ultimate Issues Hour.

This is The Ultimate Issues Hour on The Dennis Prager Show. Some great, great issue of life discussed this hour each week.

This one is what do women want. Based on the tragic story of the astronaut who had theoretically the greatest success available to an American outside of the presidency, to be an astronaut and to be in outer space, and yet brought down by her yearnings and the tragedy of her being arrested now on charges of attempted first-degree murder. And I, I, my heart breaks for everybody concerned, frankly. I see no ability to make jokes about this, that situation.

I only use it though as a jumping-off point because of the enormity of the dishonesty of what is offered to young women today at college.

That they are indistinguishable from men in their sexuality, they are indistinguishable from men in their yearnings, that it was all a bunch of patriarchal sexist drivel that their biggest yearning was to find a man to love and be loved by.

No, no, not, not true. You want to be astronauts. 1-8-Prager-776. Trying to alternate men and women on this, on this particular issue.

And let's see, okay, in Cleveland, it's Simcha. Hello, Simcha, Dennis Prager.

Hi Dennis, it's the two Simchas you met in Cleveland, and if you ever want a great home-cooked meal, please call.

I remember you sitting in the front row.

Right, right. So I, I feel that the love for my child, my son, is much stronger, and the desire— and, and I wanted to have a husband only to have children, you know, not that I cared so much about a husband, but I wanted my child to have a mother and father. But, you know, if the husband and the son were drowning, I would definitely save the son.

You're married, right?

Yes, I'm married. I met—

yeah, I met him. Yeah. Does, does he know this?

Uh, yeah, yeah, he knows. I also called one time when you had a question and I said that I put up with the husband for the son's sake.

Well, all right, well, that, that may be a reflection of your particular circumstance, and, and I, I, you know, I, I feel that I— it's not something perhaps for the world to know.

And I appreciate your call very much. And I—

there are a number of people calling in saying, no, women's biggest yearning is for family, not for a man.

And that's— first of all, they have been somewhat indistinguishable.

But I would be very interested to ask women if they could have the love of their life until they die, or no love of their life but a child?

Which would they ask God for? That would be a very interesting test of the question. Not a husband to put up with, but the love of your life.

You know, my dear friends, I am crazy. I am crazy. About my children. I'm crazy about children. I have always wanted more than anything, even more than, more than outer world achievement, I have wanted to be a father. I love it beyond words. It has filled emotional holes in me that I wanted filled.

I am crazed by it. But so I only say that to preface the following: children have to grow up and leave you. You're a lousy parent if your children can't leave you. It is the bittersweet task of a parent to raise children so that they can leave. But that's not the case with the love of your life. Ideally, the love of your life is that doesn't leave you. That's the ideal. It's not common, but that's the ideal. It's tough to achieve and to find, but that remains the ideal. So I don't believe that women's greatest yearning is for children. Of course there is that deep, deep yearning, and thank God for it.

I think that's a yearning for many men too. But on the deepest level, it is to be loved and love a good man. That's my take anyway, and we continue on the Ultimate Issues Hour, 1-800-PRAGER-776, The Dennis Prager Show.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

Popular, happy, well-rounded kids across America are being exploited online through a sinister scheme that leaves them broken, defeated, or worse. January is National Human Trafficking Prevention Month in the U.S., and to raise awareness, SalemNow.com is offering Sexploited in America, the 4-part docuseries from AGA Media, at 50% off. Sexploited in America, now just $4.99 at SalemNow.com.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

Dennis Prager here, and This is the Ultimate Issues Hour, the hour each week on some great issue. This one is what do women most want, what do they most yearn for? And I believe that it is to be loved and love a good man, and that a, a real bill of goods has been sold to young women in the— for the last generation that no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you want that, you want outer world professional success, you have the same nature as a male does, the idea that men and women have different natures is sexist patriarchal drivel. You want promiscuity as much as male nature wants promiscuity, and et cetera, et cetera.

All right, now let's go to Carol in Encino, California.

Hi Carol, Dennis Prager.

Hey there, yeah, I love your show, I think you're awesome, and I just want to say like the media has taught men, okay, your prize is Pamela Anderson, so average looking girls out there If we don't do it for ourselves, we're— I can't wait around for a guy, you know. I don't look like Pamela Anderson. So I live in LA, that's what guys want. They want the Hooters girl. If you're normal looking, smart, have a good job and a personality, doesn't matter. If you're not arm candy, forget it. I mean, not to sound negative, but I've lived here. I see what happens. I know my hot friends, they get asked out constantly. My plain looking friends who own real estate, have great jobs, make good money, Really sweet people, wouldn't hurt a fly, kind, considering they're single. I don't get it.

I mean, well, all right, this is a very fair statement, but it's not fully accurate. It's very fair. First, there is probably a phenomenon in, in LA that is not quite as true in Milwaukee. So that, that there is some truth to that, given that LA has such a large number of actresses models and, and the like who flock here from the Milwaukees of America.

So that, that's true.

Uh, having said that, a, a vast number of, as you put it, normal-looking or average or plain-looking women get married.

Vast numbers of them, since by definition, if that were not the case, uh, the, the vast majority of women would never marry. But the vast majority do marry.

And the guys who only care about Pamela Anderson types are very possibly the type of guy you wouldn't want to marry anyway. Having said all of that, it is not wise, and I'm not saying you are doing this, but it is not wise for a woman to disregard how she looks because she can't be Pamela Anderson.

Alan, that should be a subject for an hour or two.

See, I would be very interested in your case where you feel your hot girlfriends, they get asked out and so on. I would be, and as difficult as it is for me to say this, I would be interested if with a serious infusion of money you went to some massive makeover place. I think they even had that on TV where, you know, they do all sorts of things with hair and with face and, and then, you know, have, I don't know, trainers and whatever.

But if, if the, if the time and effort and money were put in, uh, it's, it's hard for me to believe that you would still be considered by yourself even as, as plain looking. There's a lot that, that a woman could do, and a lot of women sell themselves short by saying, well, I'm not Pamela Anderson.

Pamela Anderson probably walks around thinking she's not Pamela Anderson.

And if you saw her, you know, in the morning before makeup and before every way that she appears to the public, that would be probably a sobering lesson for you.

Well, I'm just using her as an example.

I know, I know that, and I'm using her as the same example.

And I— all I'm saying to you, and I'm saying this to Carol because I'm saying this to all women who feel as she does. There are many, many reasons why men are attracted to a woman. Obviously, the physical is first, because that's the only thing that is known first. But over the course of time, and that is one of the reasons that I believe that there are good ways through the internet now to meet a person where you just get to know them as a person first and then as a physical being. But I also believe that a lot of women do not do, do not give the time and effort to how they look that they need to. I'm sorry to say this because a man doesn't have to give the same amount. That's true, but a man has to give a lot of time and effort to his job because men are judged by their job as much as women are judged by their looks. Each sex has its own burden.

And I say this only out of a desire that all the women who want to get married find somebody. It's the only agenda that I have in answering Carol this way. Alrighty, let's go to Philadelphia and Carol. Hi Carol, Dennis Prager.

This is Carlos.

Oh, I'm sorry, your name?

Carlos.

Carlos. It's down here as Carol. I'm sorry, I changed your sex, but that's Eva's fault and she'll be punished.

Go ahead, Dennis. Uh, I just wanted to say that I think, uh, I disagree with you. I think your point of view comes from a biblical perspective and from a cultural perspective. I think that people 10 or 20,000 years ago, uh, women when they were living in caves did not think about culture, I mean about men, the way they think about them after, you know, cultures became civilized. I think this is a cultural behavior.

All right, Carlos, I will modify, I will modify my statement to this is women's nature for the last 10,000 years, that, that for Cro-Magnon woman It may have been different.

Okay. Have I met— have I met you here?

I think it's a learned behavior that comes from—

Well, you can argue learned, you can argue evolution, you can argue divine, you can argue whatever it is. That has been women's nature through the recorded civilizations that we have. That is the way Homer described Greek women. That is the way the Bible described whatever women it was describing. The most ancient texts we have where, where people did write things in, in preliterate society in caves, it may have been different.

I can't address that.

1-800-PRAGER-776.

Final segment coming up on the Ultimate Issues Hour of the Dennis Prager Show.

This episode of Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

Popular, happy, well-rounded kids across America are being exploited online through a sinister scheme that leaves them broken, defeated, or worse. January is National Human Trafficking Prevention Month in the US, and to raise awareness, SalemNow.com is offering Sexploited in America, the 4-part docuseries from AGA Media, at 50% off. Sexploited in America, now just $4.99 at SalemNow.com.

Now back to more of Dennis Prager's timeless wisdom.

Dennis Prager here, final segment of this edition of the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. And a reminder for those of you in Philadelphia, I will be there this coming weekend, scholar-in-residence at Temple Sinai in Dresher, Pennsylvania. 215-643-6510. People of every faith are welcome. 215-643-6510. Saturday night is the happiness talk, and it's meant to be life-changing, to be perfectly blunt with you, plus some other important subjects such as the nature of America and Judaism as a vehicle to personal fulfillment. Some very real big talks there.

215-643-6510.

This edition of the Ultimate Issues Hour has been devoted to the question raised by the tragic story of the astronaut woman, been arrested now with charges of attempted murder, in pursuing a fellow astronaut in competition with another woman who I also believe was an astronaut, but I don't, I don't recall. Astronaut is the highest achievement you can achieve, attain in America today. Beats brain surgeon, beats anything but perhaps President of the United States. And her greatest yearnings, and it was all chucked for, uh, her, her desire for a man, apparently. Now I'm not saying her, her, obviously her, her conduct is not typical, neither of astronauts or of anybody else. I'm only using it to say that, you know what, little girls yearn for a prince more than they yearn to be astronauts. But they have been taught that they really want to be astronauts and lawyers and doctors and business people, that that's where their satisfaction will really lie, and they are being sold a bill of goods. And at the age— at ages when it's easiest to attract a man, they are overwhelmingly preoccupied with professional success. I have no desire to deny any female professional success. That is not even a subliminal part of my message. My message is to take human nature seriously, something that our universities do not. They don't even believe that there is a difference between male and female nature to begin with, and this would be one of those examples. And so what do women want? In the first case, a relationship. That's what they most yearn for. That is their genius. That is their gift. And it has been squelched by a generation raised to believe that they really want to be astronauts. This has been the Ultimate Issues Hour on the Dennis Prager Show. Thank you for listening.

This has been Timeless Wisdom with Dennis Prager. Visit DennisPrager.com for thousands of hours of Dennis' lectures, courses, and classic radio programs, and to purchase Dennis Prager's Rational Bibles.