51 Ways To Better Your Relationships

Give me that one word. How are you feeling at the end of the day, uh, at the end of the second day? Just give me a second, I'm just going live on YouTube. All set to reduce this, lose this, lose weight this week. Fine, that's awesome, very good. You're feeling energetic, cool, motivated to move forward in this journey. Yes, motivated, fantastic. Okay, it feels good to be on track. But now, I— most of you in this room are community members. There are a few guests. We'll know at the end, in the middle, what the number of people who are guests here. Okay, but I want all of you to know one thing, that I have been doing all this for the past so many years. The problem is you are not attending my sessions. You are not attending— the Diamond members are not— all Diamond members are not attending the Monday Mastermind class. All Silver, Gold, and Diamond members are not attending the Tuesday class. And that's where all the magic happens. So if you feel that just that one session yesterday gave you magic, and today's session is going to be even more magical, Are you going to commit to attending all our master classes? Give me a C in the chat box. Well done. Now, those of you who are community members and are here in this room today and this is applicable to everybody. I want you to know that the one thing that you need to do is to be more disciplined. How many of you feel that you need to be more disciplined? Give me a D in the chat box. Be honest. Yeah, I think Sujata Sardar, you said little more. I think you have a lot to do. You have, you have a lot of discipline, discipline to go in your life, because discipline is about to get your results Discipline is about listening to your mentor. First thing about discipline is whatever your mentor— surrendering to your mentor and listening to your mentor is discipline. Since months I have been telling all of you that next to your name put a dash and write your membership, and still there are loads of people who have not done it. So DFC community members, those of you are visitors here, that's okay. Go to rename, go to the three dots to the right, click on it and rename yourselves. And I'm going to give you 5 minutes. I think you're not saving it then. Just go ahead and try to save it today. Sylvia, change your name. Instead of Mangalore, take out Mangalore and put Lalitha Sharma. Change your name. Against your name, put your membership. Preeti Shah, are you a member? No, you're a guest. Yeah, okay, fine. That's okay. Pushpa Patel is a member. Please change your name on Zoom. After telling y'all also Some of you are just sitting there and not doing it. Try to do it, pushpa. Come on, you can do it. Those of you who know how to do it, let me see. Vanashree is in the room. Vanashree is not in the room. Lalitha Sharma, you can do it. Yeah, Vanashree, can you please— I'm just giving you co-host. Can you just unmute yourself and tell them how to do it?

Good evening. Am I audible to all?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So people, we can go on, uh, uh, the baseline, the black line that you can see at the bottom. Please go to participants and then go to your name. You can see three dots, please click there. There's a rename option coming in which you can then add a comma and diamond, silver, or gold as against your name because we can see many iPhones and others, but we would like to know your name. It would be nice.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Fantastic. Okay, so moving on. Today's session is going to be for an hour. Okay, in today's session We're going to be working on relationships, and I have already got all the information from you on WhatsApp. Sorry, there were a couple of people who tried to spam, and, uh, two people who have spammed the group, and, uh, we've thrown them out of the group. Thank you. A big shout out to Arunima Jain and Jayanti, who reached out to me personally immediately so that we could take action. So those of you who are non-members here, one of the things that you are going to learn in these— whether you come and join our community or not doesn't matter— one of the things that you will learn is purity from us. We as a community have a code of honor And we stick with our code of honor. And what— and there is a lot of transparency. So the transparency is because everyone needs to know everything. The transparency is about respecting the work that is being put in and respecting other fellow community members. So once a community— once anybody who joins the community after the 5-day boot camp, I noticed never ever, ever, ever spam any of the groups, whichever groups are open. So a big shout out to all the DFC community members. Give yourselves a heart emoji in the chat box. And a big shout out to all of you. Well done, keep it up and keep up the good work. Sujata Sardar, you finally done it. I like that, I like that. Okay, and all of you, those of you who are in the room, congratulations once again for coming into the room. Let me just scan the entire room and see who all are in the room. And I am super delighted to see that there are 254 participants in this room. That means where there is a will, there is a way. If you want, you will come. If you don't want, you'll sit on your butt. Doing nothing. Okay, you sit on your butt doing nothing. Am I right, Sindhuja? When you're not in the mood, you don't come. When you're in the mood, when things go south and west, you can't show up. So those of you are at the last, at the last few pages, there are still at least 50% of the people who have not switched on their videos. This is a live only session, and may I please take 2 minutes of your time, everybody? And please switch on your videos unless you are at your place of work. Thank you, Aditi. Thank you, Kala. Thank you, Reshma. Thank you, Nora, Tanvi, Preeti, Lalita, Sriram, Nancy. Okay, if you're in the car, that is okay, doesn't matter. If you're at work, it's okay, doesn't matter. Okay, well done. Keep up the good work. How many of you in this room feel that you're already feeling in control in these, just in these 2 days? Give me a C in the chat box. Let me tell you why you are feeling in control. You are feeling in control because you are being in the proximity of your coach. When you are in the proximity of your coach, you will feel more inspired and you will feel better. Out of 263 people in this room, I know that 90% of you attend the live sessions. And I know that 90% of you do not attend the mentoring sessions. And that is why all those messages that we have been getting in the WhatsApp group— I'm desperate, I'm menopausal, I'm in depression, You're not getting the results because you are focused only on the workouts. I want all of you to know, irrespective of what your membership is, I want you to know that not working out is not an option. So the workouts at the DFC community will continue with the grace of God as long as we can. But those who have taken action and have come in closer proximity to me, people who are coming into Diamond, people who have come into Quantum, they are coming one step, two steps closer to me, are the ones who are getting maximum results, are the ones who are understanding that is way beyond workouts. And it's only when I poked you all today did I actually come to know how many of— so many of you are having relationship issues. So the format of today's session is we will be talk— I will be talking to you about relationship issues, the causes of relationship issues, and 51 ways of handling them. And right at the end, for 10 minutes, I will be putting you all in breakout rooms. So I want each and every one of you to stay on with me right till the end. So if you're going to sit with me right till the end, give me an E in the chat box. Fantastic. Sit up nice and tall. Put your hand down. Thank you. Yeah, you all know who I'm talking to. Before we get started, let's quickly mark attendance. So look at your screen. If you're a silver member, click on silver. If you're a gold member, click on gold. Diamond, Quantum, I'm not a member, click on I'm not a member. Yeah, we'll wind up by 7:30. Pinky, we'll wind up. Because I'm on gallery view. Now check here. 37 silver members, 58 gold members, 89 diamond members, 22 quantum members, and 22 members who are not— 22 people who are not members. This morning when we took the poll, we had 99 silver members and 99 gold members. Now do you realize what I'm saying? That those who have not attended the room today, come into the room today after giving the WhatsApp link also, are the ones who will never ever, never ever get the results. If you want to transform— how many of you in this room want to transform your lives completely? Completely, guys. I want you to know that I was not what I am today. Give me a T in the chat box if you want a complete transformation. I have inspired hundreds and thousands. Today I'm a motivational speaker at top places, and I'm giving you my time for free. So I strongly advise that all of you attend these sessions on a more regular basis. Okay, so today's session I'm going to be talking about 51 ways to work on relationships. At the end, I'm going to put you all in breakout rooms and I want you all to interact with each other. As soon as I put you in breakout rooms, I don't want you to leave because it is very rude unless you have something very pressing. I don't want you all to leave. I want you to go interact with each other. How many of you in this room would like to interact with each other? Give me an 'I' in the chat box. Yeah, Vijay is ready. Well done, keep it up. So coming to the main topic of today, which is relationships. Everyone has relationship issues. Some people have relationship issues at work. Some people have relationship issues with their family members. Some people have relationship issues with your spouses. Some people have relationship issues with their children. A lot of people have relationship issues with their spouse— uh, with their siblings. And a lot more people have relationship issues with themselves. If you don't heal your relationship with yourself first, you're never going to be able to heal your relationship with others. So I want to set the context really well for all of you, is learn to look at yourself in the mirror, learn to be honest with yourself, and learn to mend the things that you need to mend. The main cause of relationship issues are We don't look within ourselves and we are always judging somebody else, and that's why we have relationship issue. Many times we don't, we don't have good relationship issues because we don't communicate with each other, and that's a very common problem with spouses. The other reasons for relationship issues are we have this mountain ego. We don't realize that we have this mountain ego, but we have this mountain ego over here. And because of this mountain ego, we always want to find fault in somebody else rather than us. So today I want to set the context really sharp for all of you, that if you want to improve your relationships in any areas of your life— so today's session, I'm not going to go in specific areas, but if you want to improve your relationship in any areas of your life You need to first look within yourself where you can improve. What are the things that you need to mend to improve your relationships? Rather than my mother-in-law not good, my father-in-law is good, my sister-in-law says things nonstop. My husband only, uh, taunts me. My children don't listen to me. There is a lot of what I call mind chatter. MC, MC in the chat box if you feel that you have this mind chatter when it comes to relationships. Give me an MC in the chat box. And this mind chatter can easily be eliminated by mind programming. So it is time for you to first mend your relationships with yourself. Mend— and I, I feel a lot of you have filled up the form. First and foremost, thank you very much for that. And when I asked the question about Health. You want— what do you want to sort out in your life, health or wealth? 99.99% of you have said that you want to sort out health. So obviously it's a big issue with all of you. Some of you are in good positions with work. A lot of you are earning money, but you're not able to heal your relationship with your own body. How many of you in this room feel that you want to heal your relationship with your own body? Give me a B in the chat box and give me a second. I'll be back in a minute. And it is not easy to heal your relationships with your own body. So moving into What are the things that are— you are really required for someone to improve their relationships? And these things will help you in improving your relationship in every area. Okay, so give me a second. The first thing that you need to do is start communicating effectively, whether it is with you, with, with yourself, or your spouse, or your children, or your in-laws, or your parents. Start learning to communicate more effectively. Learn to be more polite. Learn to be more soft-spoken. And speak words that are comforting to somebody rather than hurting somebody. And you need to start now listening to people actively when someone is talking. A lot of people have this dirty habit of sitting on the phone while somebody is talking. And yeah, you could. And this is going to mess things up completely for you. So learn to be a good listener. What do I do when I'm training in Quantum? Quantum is a one-to-one program. What do I do? In quantum. Besides life coaching, I'm listening to you when you're talking to me in the one-to-one call. I'm not interrupting you. Some people talk and pour out for 30 minutes, and all I'm doing is patiently listening to you. When all of you in the chat box are buzzing the chat box with something when I ask you By reading your message, I'm listening to you. And that's how you heal and better your relationships. And showing appreciation, like Sujata Sadr. I first told her that she's not disciplined. Then she messaged me that— she messaged in the chat that She's been trying to do it and it goes back to it. And then we taught her how to save and she came back. I saw her in the chat box in the Zoom and I told her this and I said, well done. What did I do? I appreciated her. Type up A in the chat box. If you're going to start appreciating people around you, type up A in the chat box if you're going to appreciate your own body irrespective of what your weight is. And when we are talking about relationships, we have a lot of ego, especially when the two people get into an argument. And then what happens? One goes east and one goes west. And when everybody is going in different directions, nobody wants to take the first step. In order to take the first step to mend that relationship, all you need to do is use that simple word called forgiveness. Forgiveness is a very simple thing to do, but for most people is very tough because of this mountain of ego that a lot of people hold. All of us have ego in our lives, okay? So learn to forgive. Learn to talk to each other by building the trust. So if your children are telling you something, for example, Ranjana, if your daughter wants to go to Dubai for a game, for her tournament, you sent her without you and your husband tagging along. Why? Because you trusted the kid. And a lot of parents have trust issues with this, with their children. I know how many of you have trust issues with your children or even your spouse. Give me a T in the chat box. So if you have trust issues you're not going to mend your relationship. And you need to work on building trust with your kids and show more affection. Like when you— when I was a kid, my mom used to send me everywhere because she trusted that I wouldn't do anything wrong. And we did not do anything wrong. We emerged as very independent children, all of us as siblings. And after you let go of— after you show, give them that trust, then appreciate them, show them the affection, tell them. Sometimes you want to tell them that, hey, you know what, I'm so proud that you went for that game. 'And you came back and you kept up my trust. I appreciate it.' So build up the trust and give them a hug. Show the affection. Okay, Hiral, if you're in the room— some people are messaging, they're having audio issues, so if— I don't know whether she's in the room or not. Yeah, Hiral, can you just reply to the comments? And set up goals for yourselves, for relationship goals. I cannot tell you how many goals my husband and I have set together and we have achieved them. We were out on a walk this evening and we set the next— the goals for the next 3 months of what we are going to do. Our financial goals, our relationship goals, our fitness goals, and our work goals, and goals for our children. What have we planned for our children? So set goals with your— with the people around you. And goals, most of the times, is better off when you have— when you want to work with your spouse in a better manner. Respect each other's boundary and be empathetic. If your spouse comes and tells you that I had a very long day at work Don't turn around and say, yeah, I also did a lot of work at home. Be empathetic. It's not about you, it's about somebody else. I always tell you that these master classes that I have for y'all is not about me. It's not because I want to come and show up in front of a camera. Or I want to speak. It's about you. I put myself in your shoes and I ask myself, what— how else can I serve you better? So be more empathetic to the people around you and respect each other's boundaries, whether it is children or whatever, or even yourself. Set yourself boundaries for your own body, for your own financial goals, for your own relationships. And if you're in a relationship like a spouse or a partner, do things to keep the tempo of romance going. Don't get so busy at work that you don't have the time at the end of the day We have a policy in our home. After the last master class is over, which is you guys Monday and Tuesday— Wednesdays are my webinars— but after I finish these two master classes, after 7:30, the computer is shut down and we do not discuss work. We discuss other things, we enjoy, we go out, we watch movies, we watch— we do things, and that keeps the relationship high. As a person, I can do work and talk about work 24/7. That's me, but that's not my husband. After 7:30, he wants family, all of us to give family time. So that will keep your relationship high. Be honest in your relationships. Have the guts and the courage to say, I am sorry, I did this wrong. Create that safe space for the communication to be open. And that comes with trust. That comes by spending quality time with each other. Mealtimes. Now, many times breakfast is a busy time in a, in a lot of homes. And I want you all to know that, again, I'm going to give you all my example because I practice all this. When my two sons were staying with us, they used to go to work from our home here. And you know what a hurried time it was. I would take my classes in the morning for all of you, 7 to 8, prepare breakfast or lunch early in the morning, 8 o'clock finish the class, 8:15, 8:30, all four of us would eat breakfast together. Now they would gobble breakfast and run out, but we'd eat breakfast together. In our home, I am married 35 years, unless one is traveling, we have always eaten dinner together. And that brings us to know that we are spending quality time with each other. So spend quality time for yourself. Make time for yourself also. If you want to heal your relationship with yourself, make time for yourself. When you're setting goals with your children or your parents or your siblings or your spouse or yourself, be supportive of your goals. If you're, you're on a weight loss program or you're, you're on a health program, don't show obsession to your family member, but share the goal subtly so that the family member supports you. Be respectful. If you respect your own body Somebody else will respect your own body. If you respect yourself, somebody else will respect you. And especially for women in the room, a lot of women have respect issues. Okay, be patient. That is one of the code of honors for our community. So be patient in every angle of your life if you want to, if you want to transform. See, I'm not talking about one normal relationship. I'm not interested in that. I'm, I'm, I'm talking about peak. I'm talking about, guys, 35 years is not a small— 35 years. We are parents for 31 years and very successful parents. So success to us has not come because we are lucky or we were born in one nakshatra. Yeah, it's, it's not that. We have worked with all these, and these are all things that I've practiced. Practice self-care, look after yourself, respect yourself. And learn to compromise. If you don't compromise with each other, it cannot be a one-way ticket. If you have to go from Mumbai to Calcutta, you have to buy a return ticket. This is not a one-way road. Show vulnerability. Allow the— your true— allow your true self to open up. Allow your true self to come out by being 100% present. Share your responsibilities and don't shout and say, you know what, it was your turn to make the bed and you did not make the bed. For 2 days, if somebody else did not make the bed, it's okay, go ahead and do it. Making the bed is not an ego issue. Doing one task extra will help you maintain and mend your relationship rather than making it tough. Express gratitude. Ranjana, what's that? 32 plus 6? We are doing some maths game over here. I think she's typed by mistake, probably. Express gratitude. For those of you who have received a message from me privately will know that I always end my message, or even the group messages that I send in the WhatsApp groups or Telegram groups, we always end with a thank you. Yeah, have fun. When you have fun, you start overlooking things. I never used to have fun. For me, it was all work, work, work, work. And I learned— I learned how to have fun from my husband. I learned how to have fun from my children, and now things are better. Be reliable. Learn to respect each other's differences and be reliable. Be accountable. If you say that you will do something, you will do it, and yes, do it. If he says he will do something and he doesn't do it, It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. No one's out there to take you for granted. You are an independent soul. You are your own boss. Do not let any relationship control you. I'm talking to you, Jasmine. Do not let any relationship control you. You control your own relationships. And when I talk about relationships, it's also about healing your relationship with the people who have crossed over, who are no more, like your parents, or God forbid, anybody. To heal your relationship with the— you cannot live My mother died, my mother died, my mother died. She's gone. You cannot live with that. That means you have not healed yourself, you've not healed your relationship. You will not be able to be successful in your health journey if you are not healing your relationships. And for that, you need to be a very reliable person. If you're reliable and if you're accountable, accountable to yourself— if I'll repeat this— if you're reliable and you're accountable to yourself, you will get better, you will get better results. Learn to adapt with change. Everything changes. People change. You changed in so many years. Show of hands, how many of you feel that you'll have changed? I have changed over this, over the years. Adapt, accept. Your taste buds will change, your likes will change. The person you got married to, who love, who you love dearly, maybe now you don't like him anymore. That's okay, Jasmine. That is okay. It's okay. We have to fight it out. You have to be strong. You don't let— I'm working with her very closely on something, and you don't let a relationship put you down. And I know that a lot more emotions are coming up, guys. Be flexible, show understanding, be flexible, but do not be a control. Do not, do not let someone control you. Be flexible, be open-minded. If you cannot mend it And if it is not your fa— if you cannot mend it at all, there are two things that you can do. Walk away, which is not easy. Number two is be at peace with the things that are bothering you. You understanding, Druti? Be at peace. No one is here to take you for granted. Learn to be at peace with yourself in that relationship. How many of you are understanding this? Give me a P in the chat box, guys. I told you guys, you all have two choices. Walk away or be at peace. Practice your honesty with kindness. Be kind, be committed in the relationship. If you cannot be committed in your relationship You cannot continue the relationship. And being at peace really means that there is, there is a relationship issue. I told you, you can do two things. You can walk away, or you can stay there accepting that. Being at peace is accepting that this person is not going to change. Let me give you another example. You will understand this better. I have a very close friend, very close friend. I know her since 30 years. Her husband was an— is— was an IAS officer, and because of some small thing They had a communication issue in the house, and one fine day the man stopped talking to his wife about 20 years ago. It's been 20 years since he doesn't talk to his wife, and at all. There is communication only by WhatsApp. Obviously they still speak. Obviously they live in two different rooms. I just spoke to her two days ago. I said, how do you manage? She said, I couldn't change it, so I've accepted it and I have created my own world. So I want all of you to create your own world, a world where you are at peace with the relationship. How many of you are now going to practice being at peace? Type up P in the chat box now. Let go of your grudges, na? Jasmine, connect with me after this class and give me an update. Let go of your grudges. I used to have— I 100 times I'm telling you guys, this is not me, this is not the real me. I was angry, had relationship issues with so many people. I would cry at the drop of a hat. I would have the poor me syndrome. And everything changed. And that gives Ask the freedom, not only with your spouses but with everyone, to have very nice intimate relationships. That is why when people talk about friends and people say that I don't have friends, I tell everyone that you really don't need a friend. I want all of you to know that I am my best friend. Poor me syndrome is, oh my God, my husband's not talking to me. Oh my God, I have a bad friend. Oh my God, that is poor me. So that's why Celebrate your own success every day. Increase your frequency, increase your vibration. Support everybody around you and keep an open mind. When you keep an open mind you will realize that there are so many more possibilities around you to better your relationship. So everyone hold this like this, everybody, and like this. And now do this. What you're doing, you're opening that my Mind. When you open your mind, as I'm doing it, I'm feeling so many things, lovely things coming into my heart. How many of you felt from sitting like this for the past half an hour or 45 minutes, when you did this, how many of you felt things where you felt open? This is Open. How many of you felt open? Give me an O in the chat box. This is how you work on your relationships, one at a time, at a time, at a time. And when you do that, you will set yourself free from any burden that you're possibly carrying. Now a lot of you might be wondering, what is the link? Why is Dinaz Coach talking continuously about relationships while we have paid her money for weight loss? Can't she just give me 10 diets and can't she do 6 days a week workout and I lose weight? What is the relationship of weight loss to relationships? How many of you want to know this? Give me a me in the chat box. When you have frayed relationships starting with your own body, when you have frayed relationships with members of your family or your children or your colleagues or your boss or your friends, Let me know in the chat box, do you think about it all the time? Give me a T in the chat box if you are thinking about it all the time. So a lot of you are in this room because you have relationship issues. A lot of you are in this room who want to improve your relationships. There's always growth for improvement. So you're thinking about it. Now when you're thinking about it all the time, your internal stress levels are going up. When your internal stress levels go up, the cortisol levels in your body go up. When the cortisol levels in your body go up, there is a craving for carbohydrates and sugary foods. And there is a direct link of a poor relationship to an unhealthy body. Does it make sense? Give me an MS in the chat box if it's making sense to you. Fantastic. What we're going to do now is we are 7:25 now. I'm going to give you all— we have about 267 people in the room. I'm going to put you in breakout rooms. A breakout room is a room where you will meet other colleagues. You might meet some guests. If they are— if you meet guests, please treat them nicely, okay? DFC members Be nice to them, okay? Thank you, Preeti. Go tell them, hi, I am Anita. I'm Dr. Anita and, uh, I'm a gold member. I'm from Chennai. And in one line open up and say, I don't have any relationships issues, I'm here to better my relationship issues, or I have relationship issues with one or two people and I'm going to work, I commit to work on myself. No extra chitchat because there will be almost 8 people in the room. And everybody should get one answer, one chance to talk. So please do not leave the room. This is a very important, important part of the session. By committing to 8 people, you are actually committing to yourself and you're putting it out there in the universe. Okay, if If you're ready, give me an R in the chat box. Proud of you, Kalavati. So we do all these things, we do a lot of these things in mind programming sessions in our Diamond programs. And for our Quantum members, I work on relationships very privately on one-to-one. Okay, so if you're ready, give me R in the chat box and I shall open up