A speaker shares how chronic exhaustion after his first child was born in 1991 forced him to rethink work-life balance. He built three habits that changed everything: a short daily to-do list including workouts, eight hours of sleep, and treating exercise as non-negotiable. He argues self-care isn't selfish, it's what lets you show up for everyone else.
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Today I want you to ask yourself, do you have a work-life balance? Now when I talk about a work-life balance, I don't mean that you have to be working. There are a lot of retired people who have things to do at home. If you're a homemaker you have things to do at home. If you're a student, you have studies to do. So when I say work, it doesn't— does not necessarily mean going to a job, doing a corporate job, getting out of the house, or running your own business. It doesn't mean all that. Many times I've heard a lot of people say that they don't have the time because you lead a busy life. There is no doubt about the fact that most of us are leading very busy lives. And especially for those of you who are working outside, you wake up in the morning, you go to work, no time to yourself. You come back from work, you want to spend time with your family or your parents or your spouse and your children, and the day ends and you go into repeat mode the next day. And in this repeat mode, you stop thinking about yourself. You stop thinking that even you exist. You even stop thinking that even your body exists because you're so tired at the end of the day. And the same thing happens if you're a homemaker. You're so busy looking after your family from the time you wake up in the morning, dabba time, Nashta time, Mami Rarika chai ka time, sending the kids to school, sending the spouse to work. It's never-ending. And a lot of homemakers tell me that, dear, I don't have the time, what do I do? So you have not struck that balance between your work, which is your housework, and yourself. And then day after day you go by, year after year you go by, life passes by, and you stop bending down and you stop looking at yourself. You stop grooming yourself, you stop going to the parlor, or you stop going for massages. You don't look after yourself because it's this vicious cycle of work Home, family. Now I wanted to start thinking about this today a little bit more. I wanted to start thinking that first and foremost, you will not be selfish if you look after yourself. If you want to look after your family, if you really love your children, if you really love your spouse, your parents, and your in-laws, and your extended family and friends, and you're one person who wants to go all out and do things for them, then first thing you need to do is start thinking about yourself. I did that many years ago in 1991 when my oldest son was born. Within 6 months, my energy levels finished. I was dead exhausted. I was working I was cooking for my family, plus I was looking after my little one who's 31 today. And then I realized I was getting exhausted, and because of exhaustion, I started getting irritable. That was the day I decided to start working on myself, and I started working on myself. When I started working on myself, I don't have that guilt factor. Oh my God, Am I taking away time from my baby? Because I took a decision. I told myself that if I have to look after them as they are growing older, I need to be fit and healthy. Now, a lot of you did not take that decision, and a lot of you are wondering, is it too late? I want all of you to know that it's never too late. It's never too late to strike that balance between your workplace and your family. I don't know whether all of you know, a lot of you know, I'm a workaholic. I can work 10 hours a day. I love working. But in the middle of my entire work day, I will get up, walk out of my desk, and do my workout and come back. I might come back to my desk. I will get up walk out, cook for my family, but I'll come back to my desk. And that is how I struck that balance between my personal life, my work life, and my own health. And because I struck that balance, I'm able to deliver whenever my family needs me. Whenever the young kids, you know, the young adults at home say that, Mom, you want to call over friends? Bring them on, I'm ready. I'm always in a state of readiness. If they say, come on, let's go for a coffee, I'm ready to go out for a coffee with them because I have the energy. Why? Because I've struck that balance. Now, how do you strike— how do you strike that balance? Let me tell you things that worked for me. The things that worked for me are I started writing down all the things that I want to do in the day. Which means in my notepad, in my, in my to-do list. This is my to-do list, this is my goal, this is my book in which I write every day what I have to do. And as soon as I come to my desk, I write what are the things you have to do in my personal life, what are the things I have to do at my place of work, if I have any meetings outside, what time is it, and if I have to go shopping, I even write that down. Now the trick over here is all of us have this very long to-do list every day. I have it too. But you know what made me successful is I discovered that if I wrote only a few things and I accomplished them, I would feel more in control. So make your to-do list very small and accomplish it. In your to-do list, write the things that you're going to do for work at your workplace getting a report ready, getting an Excel sheet ready, whatever it is. Or at your business, who are the clients that you're going to meet, or team meetings that you're going to have. If you're a homemaker, write down what all you want to accomplish in that day. And don't forget that you also have to write down workouts. Now, now I don't write workouts because for me it is already an automatic mode. I told you, no, it's not an option, it's an automatic mode. But if it is not in automatic mode, then make sure that you write it down. So when you see that, oh, I have not done it, then you go get up from wherever you're getting up, watching TV, wherever you are, get up, do 30 minutes of brisk activity. When you do that and come back and you put that tick on that, you say, wow, I feel good. So I want you to start thinking that we all have 24 hours in a day. Let's set aside 8 hours for sleep. Most of you don't sleep for 8 hours, I know that. Say, set aside 8 hours for sleep. The remaining time, you should be able to work on yourself. You should be able to balance your work your studies, your office work, your business, your personal life, your social life, and life with friends. Once you understand that there has to be that balance, then you will learn to create it yourself. I don't need to tell you how to do it. You learn to create it yourself. When you create it yourself, you're leading a very balanced life. You know that weighing scale? When one thing is too heavy, this— it is not stable, right? When I put many stones on this one, this is not stable, it's not pulling down. So if you focus too much on your place of work, there is no balance here. Strike that balance. Learn to be disciplined. Learn to use the power of your mind by programming your mind, by reprogramming your subconscious mind, by telling your subconscious mind that everything is balanced in my life. By doing that, your health will improve, your situations at workplace will improve, career growth will happen, your relationships will improve, and most important is you'll start earning more money by not spending it in hospitals. So go out there, strike that work-life balance. And I look forward to making many such videos so that you learn to get fit and healthy from your own home using the power of your own mind. I look forward to guiding you all the time. 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