Are You a People Pleaser?

Do you know people who are people pleasers? Or maybe you're even a people pleaser. Why is that happening? Chances are this is coming back from childhood. If you have a parent who is always critical of you, always telling you you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, so you go out of your way to avoid that criticism, you try to keep them happy. It's a safety issue. People pleasers are trying to stay safe. So I had a particular client that when she came in, she was really trying to please, please everybody, particularly in the relationship she was in. She would tell me that, oh, I'm having dinner with my boyfriend tonight, and I'm going to tell him this, and when he says this, then I'm going to say that. And she had a whole script laid out in her mind that was coming from fear. The more she could control the way things were going to go, that would keep her safe. So what I was able to do is say, where did that come in from? And it really came back to her childhood. Her mother was very, very controlling, tried to make sure that everything was perfect. And so she had learned how to keep her mother happy. Was it true that she needed to do that? It wasn't necessarily true. It was coming from her mind thinking she was in danger. Once we resolve those issues and we basically take some of those experiences and reset them, that's what Tip does. Takes the intensity out of the old experiences that you had and resets them so they no longer interfere with your current relationship.