Confidence Starts with Safety: How Trauma Blocks Athletic Performance in Teens

How do you see trauma affecting these kids now that you have even a better understanding after going through the program what trauma is doing to these kids?

Yeah, I keep telling people, like, it was just like, such a aha moment and also a confirmation of when I had worked with that Minnesota west team. And I thought, man, these kids are going through all this trauma, and if we could just help them process this and do that. Holding onto that trauma limits you in so many ways that you have no idea. It is blocking so much of your potential because you're bottling that up and bogging it down. And I think about that for myself. Like, I was experiencing trauma when I was in college, and it blocks so many different opportunities. You know, you shoulda, woulda, coulda. Right? But understanding it now and how that would have helped me progress in my athletic career and took care of it, then if you are willing to tackle it or acknowledge it and go through the process to work through your trau, you'd be so unbelievably surprised on what that can unlock. And it's not just sports. It's just overall, in your whole life, the confidence that it brings in, just life in general. Just learning more and more about it through you and studying it and through other people and mentors, it becomes more and more evident that trauma held in our bodies is limiting us from so much that we're able to conquer in our lives.

So true. And like I said, I was so fortunate to have an amazing childhood. And so the things that I learned through that, this is probably a great example of just that. I remember we were playing in a game. It was a playoff game. It was the semifinals. We were tied 1 1, and the winner moves on to the finals. And there was six seconds left on the clock. So the coach calls a timeout. And the face off was in their end. I'm the best face off guy in the league. So the coach says, okay, here's the plan. He sets up the play, right? And so we have our big shots, like, behind me. And the idea is the wingers supposed to block the guys from getting to the guys with a shot. I get the puck back, right? And so I still never forget this. So I look and I see the setup that their team is also setting, which is to get back to those guys and block the shot. I'm realizing nobody has defended the goalie. They're all anticipating the play. And so what I did is when the puck got dropped, instead of pulling the puck back, I pushed the puck forward. And everybody's going back and it's me against the goalie. Right. And I scored the goal. And so obviously that was the game. Right. And I come back to the bench, everybody's all happy. My coach says, he goes, you know, that wasn't the play. You're lucky at work, right? Yeah, yeah, but I wasn't afraid to try it. But I saw what I saw and I wasn't afraid. And my dad said to me after the game when we were getting back out of the car, he says, I could just tell. I saw the way you looked around. And he says, and you saw that that was the best play. But again, it's that not having fear and what trauma does. Right. So if I had had a lot of trauma, I would have been so afraid to make a mistake and take that chance. Even though it was probably the 80% play. Yeah, right. I would have said, I'll take the 10% because my coach told me I have to. And I don't want to get in trouble. I don't want to be yelled at.

Yeah. It just eliminating those different things that are holding you back allows you to look at the game in a whole different way and experiment with those different things and be in that flow state like we talked about. I remember playing in a conference tournament in college, and we were in the semifinals of the conference tournament. And the summer before, I had interned for the conference office, the nsic. And so I had gotten to know those people and I knew they supported me and cared about me. And I set the conference record for three pointers that tournament, and I hadn't shot that well my entire career. And looking back now, it was totally because I felt supported and I felt loved and I felt safe in that environment because I knew that they knew me and were supporting me. And I think about all the kids that I work with or a lot of the kids that I work with, and how they are so, so worried about what other people think of them. Whether they get brought up at a young age and they're afraid that other people or parents are going to judge them or if they make a mistake, then there other people are going to think that they don't belong out there. And if we could just get rid of those thoughts and what that allows you to do and perform at a different level, think about what that could do for your athletic career, for sure.

And that's why our whole program is called the Inspired Performance Program. Trauma's just interfering. So to wrap up, tell me what you feel after going through our program, how it's made you improve as a coach, a parent, a business owner. What did you get from it?

So many improvements. I just walked away with a lot of clarity and focus. I feel like I know my specific mission. I speak way more clearly. It's hard to describe but like all in is kind of how I like to describe it. I had this hint that trauma was a big part of the story that was going along with how I was coaching as well. But then meeting with you and understanding it even more and how you teach it, it hits home on everything that you know I have experienced in my life and I continue to work with these different athletes. So walking away with it and going through your program and your experiences and following through and doing the recordings and everything that you teach just continues to enhance my life each and every day and give me more and more confidence and push me on my mission to other student athletes.

Awesome.