A short YouTube monologue by Dr. Don Wood explaining why communicating with people who are narcissistic is difficult (they are self-absorbed and do not see others' perspectives) and proposing that narcissistic behavior often starts in childhood from neglect or lack of attention; he frames narcissism as a protective response to pain rather than a reflection on the partner.
Chapters
If you're in a relationship with a person who is a narcissist, it's very difficult to communicate with them because they only see their point of view. They'll never see your point of view. So they're very self absorbed. Everything's about them. They're the center of attention. The only thing that matters is what's important to them. They won't see your point of view or really care about your point of view. So that's what makes it difficult to be in a relationship with a narcissist. But the key is to understand where narcissism was started. Chances are, if you're in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, that's started when they were a child because they were neglected or not paid attention to, they started to develop that narcissistic behavior very early, from a lot of times a lot of neglect or not being seen or heard. So now this is their way of being seen and heard. And they just push everything else out of the way and become focused on themselves. It's how they're protecting themselves. I'm not saying narcissism is a good thing, but if you understand what narcissism is, narcissism is not about you. It's about the other person's response to their pain.