Do You Self Sabotage

Self sabotage does not exist. It's a symptom of the real problem. People will say to me that I self sabotage. They may be changing a relationship constantly. And what they'll say to me is, I sabotage the relationship. And what I say to them is, it's not possible to sabotage. The reason it looks like sabotage is because you're maybe moving in a direction and some negative consequences come from it. So we assume that the purpose of what you did was to sabotage yourself. But it's actually not sabotage, it's protection. The mind is trying to move you in another direction because it's trying to avoid potential pain. So you were in a relationship and that person blindsided you by getting into a new relationship and dumping you. Now what your mind does is every time you get to a point where the relationship is getting to the same point where you got dumped, all of a sudden you'll start doing things to get out of this relationship from first. And so you'll look like, well, I do these things to sabotage myself. But you're really trying to protect yourself from getting hurt the way you did in the previous relationship. The idea is to start to look at what's the behavior that you're doing and why would that happen? So you need to look throughout your life. Where did that start? Was there a reason why I did that? You'll see a pattern, and that pattern will start showing up in different things. It could show up in a relationship, it could show up in your work. Most of the time where that's coming from is your mind is trying to protect you from getting hurt.