Dr. Don Wood says kids often misbehave because they're copying you or desperate for attention. Instead of shutting them down, teach them to speak up respectfully. How you react to anger and disagreement shapes how they'll handle conflict for life.
Chapters
Parents will say to me, I can't stop my child from misbehaving. I don't know what to do with it. They're just unruly. What I'll ask them is, what do you do? Have you looked in the mirror? Sometimes your child may be mimicking or doing a mirror of you. How do you behave when things go wrong? They're going to copy you. If you're getting angry very easily and then you see your child doing that, obviously that's where they're getting it from. Second of all, a lot of times what children are looking for is attention. So. So you may be behaving fine, but you're ignoring them. They're going to behave in a way to get that attention, even if it looks negative. So if you find your child trying to get attention, you turn around and you start to yell at them. What you're doing is you're taking away their voice. And that's not a good thing. And what that means is they can't feel free to express an opinion if you just shut them down every time they try to express an opinion. When they get into a relationship with later in their life and they don't have that ability to communicate what they want, the chances of them having successful relationships are pretty small. They won't feel like they have a voice. They won't feel like they can stand up for themselves. They'll get pushed around a lot. Chances are it's not going to end well for them or it's going to be a constant state of stress in that relationship. My father used to say, you can disagree with me anytime as long as you're respectful. Teach them how to use their voice. Teach them how to be respectful. If they want to get their opinion across. Doesn't mean you have to agree with it, but certainly give them the idea of why you're not agreeing with it. Don't just shut them down.
