Dr. Don Wood talks with a guest about why women get trapped in people-pleasing patterns, often starting in childhood when safety felt uncertain. One woman broke free using specific exercises to rebuild self-worth and reclaim her life.
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So can you give me any examples of somebody that you helped with something like that and what showed up for them?
Yes, again, I deal mostly with women and most of their trauma is because they are stuck from the inside out, as you put it, and as I speak it, it's an inside job. You want to get unstuck, you want to live the life that you desire. Start within. So I can remember not just one, several women that were living in toxic, unhealthy relationships, whether it was a marriage or it was partnership, and they just couldn't get unstuck. And they were. And that segued off to other relationships. They were people pleasers because, oh, here I am living in this toxic, unhealthy relationship. Okay, I don't really want to do anything about it. So now I am going to please everyone around, everyone that surrounds me and affects me and that I affect and surround because that's where I'm getting my sense of self. That's where I'm getting something good coming back to me. Because it's certainly not coming from this significant relationship that I have. And I can tell you, and I think of one, just last week broke free from that with a number of exercises and she is now no longer a people pleaser, no longer living in that situation that she was in. She's enjoying her life, she's enjoying great health where she didn't have it and she's enjoying some new adventures along with it.
Very good. Well, it does, it makes, it makes a difference. Right. So if they can't do that, then they just can continue to be in the, in the issue that they're dealing.
With until someone says enough is enough.
Right.
I not only enough, enough is enough, but I'm enough. Not being here in this type of situation and subjecting to myself, subjecting myself to much less than I deserve, than I am entitled to. When people have a poor self image, they're going to grab wherever they can to highlight, to feel better about themselves.
What I find is when people get into people pleasing or those kinds of things, it's all coming from a lack of safety. You see it all the time, especially with children. They'll do whatever they can do to keep their parent happy. Even an abusive parent.
Absolutely.
Because they're trying to stay safe and they can't stand up. You got a child, they have no chance of standing up to an adult. They can't fight and they can't flight. A lot of times they freeze. And that's what I see a lot of times in women is a freeze because they can't get out of their own way. They just can't. They can't move.
They become paralyzed, and they stay in those situations, whether it's with a significant other or whether it's people that they're surrounding themselves with and oftentimes, unfortunately leads to addiction for them.
Yeah, we deal a lot with addiction with people. That's where it'll show up.
That's where it shows up. Well, very good.
I like the alchemy idea because it's a science. Right. I love the fact that you can mix stuff up. Right. And change it. You know, no matter what you can ingest in your body, anything, too much of anything can kill you.
Right.
Even water.
Right.
So you need to be able to dilute it to some degree. Know, maybe not dilute water, but you still may have to dilute something, Otherwise it will overwhelm your system. So the alchemy idea, I like the idea of that. That makes a lot of sense. So congratulations on that idea. I think I like that.
Than it's been years of taking my sorrows and saying, oh, I'm gonna make this work. I am not going under any bus. That's it. And. And because of that, I am able to. To be that example for others. Right. I got plenty of credentials, believe me. But you know what? My life is the biggest credential. And to go within. And people can do that.
