A short talk by Dr. Don Wood explaining the concept of 'small-t' traumas—minor, often misunderstood childhood experiences that a child misinterprets and that can accumulate into larger emotional and physical problems if not addressed. He contrasts small-t traumas with 'Big-T' traumas (e.g., physical/sexual abuse, severe accidents, wartime) and emphasizes that emotional response signals trauma and that early resolution improves health.
Chapters
He's telling me the story and crying and said, I felt sick to my stomach and had to go home. My wife, when she grew up, she's six years old, invited to a tea party by some of the mothers in the neighborhood. When she gets there, she's all excited. And the mother who's greeting them says, oh, my goodness, look at Bridget. You're going to be such a heartbreaker when you grow up. And all the other mothers are agreeing, oh, yeah, Bridget's going to be a heartbreaker. She's telling me the story and crying and said, I felt sick to my stomach and had to go home. What she heard was, she's going to hurt people. She's going to break their hearts. Now, is that what the mothers were trying to say? No, they were actually complimenting her. But she took it as they see something bad in me. That's a small T trauma. Small T traumas, I think, happen a lot in childhood where there's not enough life experience by the child experiencing a situation. So they interpret it their way and put their own meaning to it. Big T traumas are obviously much different. That's physical abuse, sexual abuse, car accident, even living in wartime. Just a fear of constant death. That's a big t trauma. People really downplay the effects of small t traumas. I've had people tell me, you know, oh, I never really had any trauma in my life. I've always had a really good life. And then they start to describe a particular event in their life, and then they tear up. If you feel an emotion, then it's experiencing the trauma. Remember, an emotion is a call for an action. Those small t traumas can actually accumulate and become a much bigger problem. So they're not something you want to ignore. You really want to deal with it. The faster you can resolve it, the more your physical and emotional health will improve.
