https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvqo8h6hWwo

So do you want to just share with us what, what you learned and what your experiences are through doing the TIP program?

Yeah. So I had the, I was very lucky I got to, to work with you in two different capacities. The day that we met. I got to do a small mini session in front of the room. And that was really the first time that I had the, the experiential experience of what you do and not just the intellectual one. And I've always been fascinated by how the mind is responsible for so much of what happens in the body. And it's been very clear to me for many, so many of our physical ailments are actually due to repressed emotions and, and repressed trauma and things that we've just had to put away in order to survive. There's a quote that says, like, if you stuff it down, it's going to come out sideways, right? It always comes out in some way. And I've had nothing but experiences in my life of the thing coming out sideways. And as it showed up in addiction issues, it showed up in relationship issues, it showed up in so many different ways. And so I've been on this journey of learning to listen to what the cues my body is giving me and then trying to search for what is the underlying reason why my body's giving me this cue to begin with. And so hearing you speak about the mind body connection and all the research that you've done, I was like, oh, this is a new angle for me to approach this. And I found it so incredibly fascinating how simple. I don't want to say easy because it's taken you decades to develop your system, but the simplicity of it and how you walk us through an exercise that utilizes different parts of the brain and also sort of puts a pin on the thought and gives you something else to focus on that just wipes the slate clean. And I, you know, I've done so much talk therapy. When you sit in a chair and you talk in circles around your problems and you leave and nothing really changes. And here you've devised a way to get around the brain and get to the unconscious part of the brain instead of letting the conscious part just spin in circles. And, and it's just been remarkable to see how the work has helped others through the stories that you've, you've shown and the, the, the case studies that you've shown and then seeing really how it's shown up for me in the, the two little sessions that we've done. So I consider myself a high functioning person. Whatever Issues I've had in my life, I've sort of, you know, either stuffed them down or halfway dealt with them and just forged ahead. I'm a workaholic, basically. And it became evident to me just in the last 10 years or so that my workaholicism is a coping strategy and is actually not a healthy way of being. And it has served me well up until this point. But one of the things that. That I struggled with was the loss of my mother. When I was 12 years old, she just died very suddenly. She was here one moment, gone the next. And between the moment she was here and the time she was gone, we actually got into a fight. And I never got to clean that up before she passed. And so that had been looming over me my entire life. And you know how intellectually you know something. It's like, I know she didn't die angry at me. I know that all of that is water under the bridge, and the psyche holds onto what the psyche holds onto, and you can't convince it otherwise. And you had me do a really, again, simple exercise that had me see the moment in question and look at it from different angles. And what's interesting is, up until that point, whenever I thought about my mom and whenever I thought about that particular instance, it was instant waterworks. It's like there are a few things that can bring me to immediate tears in my life, even if I haven't thought about them in years. The moment I conjure them up in my mind, my tears just go. It's a visceral reaction that I can't stop. And up until that work with you in that room, that was one of those moments. If I replayed that, her walking out and saying, you ungrateful child, and slamming the door, and then my dad waking me up in the morning to tell me, your mother died last night. Like, every time I replayed that, it was instant waterworks. And now, no, I can.

Amazing, right?

I can be with the story and, like, sure, it's still sad, but it doesn't activate the same activate part of me that used to get activated.

You're a good student. All the stuff you're talking about, you really paid attention. You really.

Yeah. And I love this stuff. And for me, like, I'm legitimately trying to heal certain things, so naturally I'm going to pay attention if I think you have a solution for me, and a solution that's not going to take me a year, you know, because there's. There's things that can take a really long time And I'm an impatient person, probably another coping mechanism, and I want it now. So. So just observing, you know, and then. Then I get to ask myself, okay, what are the actual things that are on my emotional plate that are actually running the show in my life? And as we sort of worked through that one, I was like, you know what? Like, while that was emotionally activating for me, was that actually holding me back from anything in my life? And I haven't answered that question yet. I'm still sitting with it. But when I came in and did a full day with you, we went after something else. We went after my money issues because I'm an entrepreneur. And what tends to happen to entrepreneurs when they sort of find something that works and they start generating an income is now all of a sudden, we come face to face with our relationship with money. My relationship with money used to be such that it's better for me to not earn any, because I know that once I earn it, I'm going to lose it all. Because I watched my father lose everything he ever built. And I saw what that did to our family and what that did to him and to me. And so in my mind, it was like, you just better not make any money because it's safer that way. But when an entrepreneur, like, has that running the show, it's better to not make any money. That's going right up against the goal of creating revenue in your business. So that was one way I was rubbing up against it. I somehow managed to break through a few years ago. The it's dangerous to make money. I made the money. But then I was living with an underlying panic that it was all going to come crashing down constantly. And I saw that my setting goals and my setting milestones to reach in my business were not driven from a place of vision for what I want for my life. They were driven from a place of fear of, I have to reach this number, because if I don't, it's all going to come crashing down. But if I hit this number, then it means it's not going to come crashing down. It's delusional. But I found myself chasing and chasing and chasing. And last year, I set a goal of $2 million in my business that I didn't hit. And then I was faced with the question of why didn't I hit it? And it was again that fear running the show, because if I hit it, then the fall from grace is much higher. And now I have more people to disappoint because I have a team. And now to some degree, my family depends on the revenue that I'm generating, so I got to see all of that play out. And you took me back to, you know, the instances in my childhood where I made up a story in instances in my childhood where I was experiencing shame around not just losing the money that my dad had made, but also having money. There was a lot of shame around growing up in an environment where people were very middle class and I was getting picked up from school in a Rolls Royce. And the shame of that being better than my classmates, that was never something that I wanted to be. But the classmates would be like, oh, you're trying to be better than us. Look at you walking into a Rolls Royce. So, like, I all, like, stacked on. Stacked on, stacked on stories and, like, shame around money. And. And the work that we did together was really powerful. I discovered a lot of my resentment was towards my father, who really just did the best he could, who was and is living with his own set of trauma around money and what was passed down to him from generations prior. And I was holding this anger towards him that was misdirected because he was just doing the best he could. And I get to be the end of that story. Right. I can't hold that on him. It gets to be me who rewrites that. So I let go of a lot of resentment and I let go of a lot of anger towards my father because it's. It's pointless to hold that. I'm finding a lot more ease with it in the sense that did one session of working on this completely eradicate my money story? Not yet. And I see a huge shift. Like I was. It got to a point where my dad is now requiring financial support, and I was doing it with a chip on my shoulder. I was doing it. You know, I set up that wire transfer every month going, this is not fair. Like, you should have. You should have figured it out in such a way that it wouldn't be up to me to support you. And I'm like, okay, well, that. That's not healthy for him to be receiving the money with that energy behind it, and it doesn't feel good for me. And the last two wire transfers since we worked together, I've sent them with love and with knowing that he paid for everything my entire life, and how grateful am I that I'm in a position that I'm able to help him? And how awesome is it for him at age 81 that he should not have to worry about where he's going to get his living expenses that they can just show up in his bank account and, and the gratitude that surrounds that for me now, and that in and of itself is a huge, massive shift.

That's a huge shift. Yeah. Because I knew that was a big thing with you.

Yeah. And not to say that like, you know, when he sends me a message about something money related, my initial is still like. And then I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. That's my old stuff.

That's.

That's the code.

That's the code. So that's what the audios work on, right?

Yes. As I was saying before we got started, part of your program involves a follow up of a month long audios to really seal in the work. And as I was sharing with you, that month long commitment is where I, I'm, I'm the most challenged with myself and sticking to commitments. But I know there's still work for me do there and we will, we'll solidify it when I do finish the, the whole program. But, but already just even without the month long audios, like the fact that I'm able to see it, catch it and shift in the moment rather than playing out my anger and then thinking about it three hours later, I'm able to catch it in the moment.

Beautiful.

Really powerful.