Mastering Residual Anxiety: Simple Tools to Enhance Your TIPP Success [Inner Circle Webinar]

Okay, we're on, we're recording. Well, today we're gonna test a little different approach. You're gonna be enjoying the experience. European, no pro, AKA known as me. So I'm gonna be just to make this a little more engaging, be asking dog questions you guys have sent and obviously keep sending them. I'm still monitoring our chat. You can send them straight to me and that way I will ask them anonymously or you can send them to the group and then read it out so we can cover that. I got a few of them in our, in my email as well, so we'll make sure to go over all of those. But today we're going to be talking about mastering whatever residual anxiety you might be experiencing after tip, why it happens, how to deal with it, brush upon some of the TIP things that we might have forgotten or just, you know, get a docs view and feedback on how to implement those in our daily routines to really get rid of the anxiety once and for all.

Okay. We keep getting people in. I'm loving this. Okay, so to start like doc, what is it that brings us anxiety even after we complete the program? Why is it that there's some lingering anxiety left for some of us?

Well, first, and I'm going to ask that question in a second, but first of all, what I wanted to sort of talk about is to congratulate everybody who keeps coming back in here to learn more. Right? You are the answer to all the things that you need. Right? The fact that you're dedicated to keep coming in. You went through the TIP program, you're making an investment in yourself, which we love. So we're committed to continue investing in you. And I love the team we have. Maya, Brandon, Kirk, Jess, they're all committed to helping you. So we're here all the time with you guys. So whatever you need, we're here for you. And the fact that you guys keep coming back to keep learning and growing tells me that you're going to get maximum benefit out of it. So that's what we're here for. So what, what Maya just sort of asked is about anxiety. Sometimes anxiety can creep in a little bit. So I want to describe where that could be coming from, what that happens. So the idea is to understand what anxiety is. Anxiety is actually really fear. It's fear that your mind is not okay with. It's something that it's worried about. So what is it worried about? The idea is to try to identify what the fear is. So like I always say, if you came here for gardening Advice, you're not going to get anything out of this. You're coming here, right? So maximize these opportunities. Maximize what you're doing right now. The key is for you to continue to focus on your growth and changes that you want to make. That's where we can really, you know, help you. But the key is not just the knowledge. The key is the implementation of the knowledge. So I could tell you how to ride a bike, but until you ride the bike, it's not going to really mean anything. So you've actually got to get in and do it. So you've all gone through tip. And the advantage to TIP is to clear the old memory that was creating these habits and behaviors, and anxiety is part of that. So we clear the old issues. So now we've got these lingering codes that were hanging around that developed because of that either trauma or disturbing information. So double check and make sure that there's nothing from that that's still lingering around. So check in on some of the events that you cleared. Is there still any residue of feeling something there really shouldn't be, that should be out of the way. So TIP does that. The audios are designed to start updating the system, get the updates done, get the system updating. So what I want you to do, you don't have to write it down. You can if you want to, but I want to share this message. Anxiety equals distance. That's the theme. Anxiety equals distance. And I'm going to explain what I mean. Most anxiety is coming from conscious thought, not subconscious thought. The subconscious may have the trauma. You shouldn't be dealing with any subconscious issues here. This should be cleared up. Anxiety can come from consciously thinking about something that and then the distance is what I want to explain to you. So a lot of times you've heard me talk about the zebra and the lion, right? You remember that story that a zebra cannot feel fear of a lion unless there's a lion present? But there's a little more to that, that story. What I want to share with you is a zebra can be around a lion without the fear. How does that happen? A zebra can be grazing on the grass with a lion a thousand yards, 2,000, 5,000 yards away. Why is the zebra not feeling fear even though there's a zebra or even though there's a lion around? It's because of distance.

Until that lion gets into its proximity, into its danger zone, that zebra is fine just grazing. Because the zebra knows that the lion can't catch it, not from that distance. So it doesn't Worry about it. So if you ever watch some of the, you know, clips or videos of lions, you see them crouch down, they're low, and they just slowly start creeping up. They're trying to hope that the zebra doesn't notice them sneaking in because the lion even knows I can't catch that zebra if he's that far away.

So a zebra can run at 40 miles an hour. A lion can run at 50 miles an hour. So it would take 15 minutes for the lion to close half the gap. But a lion can't run for 50 miles an hour for that long. A zebra can run for about 30 miles.

At about. Or about 7 miles at about 30 miles an hour. So the reason I'm sharing this with you is to help you understand if you can identify what your mind is focusing on, you're going to be able to create distance. Is that thought, if you remember when we were talking, are thoughts beneficial, appealing and possible? So if you can identify. And I'm going to get a little bit more into this, but the whole idea is to identify what it is. The number one fear for the human mind is uncertainty. So it may just be that your mind is creating anxiety to make you create a plan on how to deal with this thing that it's concerned about in the future. So say you've got a wedding coming up, or you've got something coming up six months or a year from now, and you're having anxiety because of that. That doesn't make any sense. Why do you need to be anxious six months or a year away? So I'm going to give you a couple of different tools to sort of to work on this. But it's. Again, I'll give you another story. This is a story I sometimes share to sort of help the idea about distance. So you've got some firefighters, they're sitting in a restaurant in New York City, and as they're sitting there, they're having lunch, and somebody comes running into the restaurant and yells, there's a fire. There's a fire. And the firefighters jump up and get ready to go out. And as they're ready to leave, they say to the person, where? And he says, chicago.

Well, they're going to sit back down and finish their lunch because the information is accurate. There's a fire coming in Chicago, but what can they do about it in New York? So that information was pretty much useless. So it doesn't mean that the information that your mind is worrying about is useless. It just may not be in distance to do something about it. So can you do something about something now that is going to happen then? Doesn't mean it's not relevant, doesn't mean that you shouldn't have at some point, some idea what you're going to do about it. But I want you to really focus. If you still have some of this little lingering anxiety, try to really focus and identify it.

There's. I'll give you another funny story, you know, and talk about distance, you know, and how applicable it is. So I played hockey. Knows I play hockey. So when I was 18 years old, I was playing in the league that a lot of ex junior players, ex pro players were playing. It was really, really good league. And there was a guy that played on our team that played in the NHL and I'm 18, he's like 32, I think he's really, really old. I'm surprised he's still able to skate right? So he's 32, but he's phenomenal. He's so good. He's such a great defenseman and he can literally lay guys out all the time. And so he would do things. This is sort of a lost art in hockey today. But it was something called a hip check. So guys would come down and he would just slide over, hit him with his hip and they would flip literally right over him. And he did it over and over and over again against really top athletes, good players. And I was just like, I remember watching this going, how is he doing it? I don't understand because I never saw anybody do it the way he could do it. And so one time I'm on a power play and I was not a defenseman, but they put me on defense to play with him. Actually it was a penalty killing. And I thought, okay, some guy's coming down, I'm going to lay this guy out the way the guy does. And I sort of go over and it was pathetic. I mean, I missed him by about a mile and now they had a three on one against him. And he saved me because he actually was such a good defenseman. He actually stopped them from scoring. And we came over to the bench and I remember him saying to me, he's going, that was pathetic. That was really bad. Don't do that anymore unless I teach you how to do it. And I said, okay, well, teach me how to do it. And he says, well, I'm afraid you're going to keep trying it. And he says, we don't have enough time to teach you that. He says, but okay, I'm going to show you what I did. He said, we don't have enough time for you to learn this a slow way. He says, so let me tell you what I do. And this was so brilliant. He said to me, when that guy is coming down towards me, I'm skating backwards, he's skating forward. So we're moving like this. He says at some point he's going to take his eyes off of me, look down at the puck or look over to his other player. He says, and what do I do? I stop and come towards him. He hasn't seen me stop and move towards them. He's still moving forward now he has no, no space. I close the gap so fast. You know something? I never saw that until he told me. And then I saw it all the time. I was like, oh, my God, that's so brilliant. And then it was easy to apply. So the answer is very simple. It's not as complicated. We think anxiety is this huge, complicated problem. It's the same thing as that. We've got to create the distance, shut down the gap that your mind is being programmed to do. So it's saying, we need to worry about everything. No, you don't. You don't need to worry about things that aren't in proximity, they're not in the distance. So taking your eye off of that, understanding, what I really want you to do is learn how to understand where. And this is what TIP really did, is helped you to understand what your mind is doing and why it's doing it all the time. And so we want to also now take a look at future. What is your mind doing? And that's what the audios are designed to do, is to start making changes, start identifying what you need to change, what you need to be to.

Make adjustments to. Because codes got built up from your lifetime of dealing with these traumas and events and experiences. Now what we need to do is to rebuild new codes. And the only way you can do that is to be intentional about it. And the fact that you guys did the TIP program, you continue to listen to the audios, you continue to come here on a monthly basis. We love it because it tells me you will be successful with it. You just need to identify what it is. So I want you to give some thought and learn what. What it is that your mind is trying to bring to your attention. It wants a plan for something. What is your mind trying to plan for? So again, I wanted to sort of simplify what this is. And it's not as overwhelming, right? It feels overwhelming because your mind is really getting stressed out about it, but it's not as overwhelming if you can identify what it is. And so a couple of other stories. One of the other stories that I heard that I thought was great is Boris Becker, who was at one point the number one player in the world. Andre Agassi was the only guy that seemed to be able to beat him all the time. And Boris Becker had this booming serve. And so that Boris Becker figured out, didn't figure out why was Andre Agasse so good at returning his serve. And this was phenomenal. So Andre Agassi obviously not going to tell him during it, right to what he said was when Boris Becker was getting ready to serve, he would stick out his tongue to the left when he was serving to the right, and he would stick out his tongue to the right when he was serving the other way. He didn't know he was doing it. Boris Becker had no idea that he was doing that. But Andre Agassi studied him so much that he figured it out. It was that simple. So he think he can understand how Andre Agassi is returning his serve when he just boomed to serve down the middle. He says, but Agassi already knew it was coming. So the metaphor in that story is understand where it's coming from and you'll beat it very easily. It's not as complicated. So we want to start focusing on how to do that.

Anybody have any questions about that or Maya's anything?

I really love this whole like distance thing, but I just want to take a little pause to kind of like put an emphasis on what you mentioned. And that is that tip helps us clear, clear anxiety coming from our past, you know, trauma related or other disturbing events, emotional concussions related trauma. But then if we're still experiencing some of the lingering residual anxiety now, it's probably coming from it's the future anxiety, right? We're worrying about future. And to fix that, we need to train the distance part of it, right?

You need to train your brain on how to deal with it. And so the key is to identify it. Just like what I was saying is Agasse figured out what Becker was telling him. Right. Without Becker knowing he was telling them. Your mind is trying to tell you something. Have you examined it, have you looked at it, have you studied it? So some of the things that you can do is if you're feeling some of this anxiety as you're in it, I want you to journal what are you thinking about, what's coming to the top of your mind, Start thinking about it. And so if all of a sudden you say, you know, I'm feeling this, this little bit of anxiety. And then you say, okay, well what am I thinking about right now? Identify it and then start writing it down. And then you can start analyzing, trying to figure out, is that beneficial, is that appealing, is that as possible? And I saw Ken talking about the audios, right? Are those the 30 day audios? Yes, those are the 30 day audios, but there's also the walking, the fitness audios, the resilience audios, the optimism audios. List to those ones as well because they're also very, very.

Impactful in getting your mind to think. Anxiety is coming from not thinking about what the issue is. You're letting your mind run the show. So this is your mind, right? Take control of it. So it's almost like if you go to the mall with your child and then your child says they want to have ice cream, but you got to go back because you've got dinner ready. And the child says, but I want ice cream. You say, well, no, you can't have ice cream. So the child lies on the ground kicking and screaming and, and trying to create a scene to embarrass you. So you'll go get them ice cream. What happens if you get them ice cream? You just served what it was looking for. So the next time you go to the mall, the child's going to do the same thing. That's how they're going to get their ice cream. But if you sit down and you sit on the bench and you say, okay, as soon as you're finished kicking, screaming and crying, we're going to go home and have dinner, the child will eventually get up. You're not reinforcing it. So the more you continue to sit and dwell in this anxiety without really trying to get into where it's coming from, what it's all about, you're going, you're reinforcing it. This is your mind. What is your mind trying to get you to do? Does that make sense?

Absolutely. And you mentioned the beneficial appealing possible. Like we have those two, you know, pillars in depth, the training your mind to focus on beneficial, appealing possible thoughts, but then also our statement, anchor and symbol. How do these two pillars of depth that helped us resolve past anxiety can help us also with build, you know, the future anxiety and building this distance, recognizing it and hopefully eliminating anxiety.

Yeah. So what Tip really did was clear, clear the database. Right. So we haven't got the old data, so definitely check in and make sure that it's not coming from that, because if it is, we want to make sure that that's cleared. So I had a lady in yesterday who's gone through tip, and she had her mother come into town. And so she actually just went through it three weeks ago. And she said her mother came in because she's got a young baby. She had two young babies, but her mother came into town, and after going through the program three weeks ago, she started her own business, and they put an offer in to buy a house. She says, I would never have really done that before, she says, but I'm feeling really good. And what her mother did was beat her up and say, this is irresponsible. You shouldn't have done that. You should be focusing, you know, on your children. They're young and don't go and do all these kind. She was feeling great about it, and so her mother was creating a lot of stress and what she was dealing with. So I asked her, I said, let me ask you about the previous trauma that we worked on and you cleared. And she says, zero problems with that. That's all gone. So what was her issue now?

Her mom.

Right. Creating the stress. Right. So that wasn't anything. She now could handle that better because she's already cleared it. But her mom created a lot of her trauma, but her mom was still presently creating stress on her. So one of the things that I said to her, as I said, you have 100% of your energy available when you start the day. Think about it. If you charge your cell phone up, right, and you start the day and you got 100% power on your cell phone, how much of that energy that you have now to start your day, are you willing to give to your mother and the way she's handling you? Because whatever you give her, you don't have available for your two children. How much are you willing to give away? Now, that sounds harsh because it's her mom, but that's the child screaming and kicking for attention. The more she feeds into it, the more her mother keeps coming back with it. So it sounds really harsh, but you have to take control of those situations or they'll control you. So she can still love her mom and she can care about her mom, but she's got to be able to take the stand of saying, this is what my husband and I have decided to do. I appreciate your advice, but we're doing it so there's nothing left to talk about. And don't get into the battle because it's not worth the battle. And I always talk about that. Hang around positive people. I hang around positive people. We got a great staff that are positive people. We always try to stay positive. We can deal with problems when they come up. Doesn't mean your life never has a problem. But we're not going to let it control us. We're going to attack it and fix it or eliminate it. So can you deal with the problem now or is it something that you can put off to later but don't allow it to control your thoughts? Does that make some sense?

It does. Stock I. It makes me think of when the battle is with myself. And I. There's something in the future and I can't. The subconscious wants me to make a plan right now, but I can't fix it right now. I go into my calendar and I plan the day that I can fix it because I can't fix it right now.

That's it. So your mind wants a plan. So the plan is we're going to start working on this in three months and then do you need to think about it again? No, you've got it on the calendar. That's really what your mind was looking for. It was looking for some resolution to something that's bothering it. That's what anxiety is. Anxiety is saying, are we ready? Are we going to get hurt? Is there something we don't know about? And so it's going to keep calling you to do something about it. So if you can really start to journal and flow, focus on what you think it is, take some time, right, to think about it. When the anxiety comes in, what am I thinking about right now? What is it that my mind is looking for? What answers are my mind focusing on right now? And then give it an answer because it doesn't like uncertainty. So anxiety is saying, we're not ready. We're not ready for this thing that's coming up. Get ready. You may not need to get ready right now. It's not something you need to deal with. Just what Helen said it was a great, great way to approach it. Put it on the calendar of when you're going to deal with it. So a lot of times anxiety is coming from conscious something that's currently happening. The subconscious anxiety should be eliminated. But I want you to double check and make sure that it's not something you're thinking about that happened five years ago that you're getting anxious about. That's a glitch. That's what tip clears up. What you need to now do is train your mind to bring thoughts that are beneficial, appealing and possible. So if a thought comes in, apply those three terms. Is that a beneficial thought? Is that an appealing thought? Is that a possible thought? Is there something I can possibly do right now? If it doesn't hit all three criteria, then at least put a plan for it. Okay, I appreciate the thought.

But we're going to deal with this at this time. And even if it's at the end of the week, right? So you've got a meeting coming up next week, and you're. And you're sitting there all anxious, you know, on Monday morning, and you don't have it coming up until next Friday, a week from Friday, right? So put it in the calendar when you're going to work on it. Give your mind an answer that it's looking for. The answer to the child is, no, we're going home and having dinner. Don't feed it. Because if you keep feeding it, it's going to keep coming back to the same thing trying to get you to do something, identify it, and take charge. That's your mind. So, I mean, there's a way, I'll give you a quick little term if you guys, if you want to write this down, this is a good little tip or a little hack to deal with this. And you have to sort of write it down. And I'll give you a couple of ways to express it. So what you do is a thought comes in that doesn't fit that benefit, appeal and possibility. You can say to yourself in, in your own mind, or you can say it out loud. Whatever you want to do right now.

Write that down. Comma, I'm aware of the thought.

Right now. So what?

So what? It's just a thought. So what you're doing is staying in the present right now. I'm aware of the thought right now. So what? Because there's nothing you can do about it. So what? The key to, if you've got somebody who is trying to get your attention. Have you ever had this where somebody keeps, you know, on you and on you and on you? Right. And your response is, what's that?

My toddler?

Yes. Right. And so it's a little harder with a toddler, but, but anyway, the, the way to diffuse it is indifference.

So what? Whatever. Okay. So when you use indifference, you diffuse it, but if you feed into it, it becomes stronger because now it's getting power from you because you keep indulging it. And it's like, so again, I use the metaphor of the child. It's like, okay, whatever, kick, scream, whatever you want to do. Right. We're going to go home when you're finished, whatever. So what? And you're taking control but staying in the present right now. I'm aware of the thought right now. Whatever. So what? Who cares? That diffuses it. And you just do it in life in general. You do that to somebody and they're trying to get your attention and go, yeah, but what. What about this? What about whatever, But I want you to worry about it now.

No.

Whatever. No, I'm not going to worry about it right now. So what? Whatever. They'll stop. You can't. You can't get somebody's attention that has indifference.

I might be able to introduce you to someone.

What's that, Ken? I might be able to introduce you to the person I'm married to. Okay. If I said any of those, it would be very dangerous. Yes. Really? Yes.

But eventually get the message. They're not gonna. So don't expect it just to instantly disappear. You've gotta train, right. Your mind or train the person to accept that this is the way you're going to deal with it. You either accept it or you don't. Right. Your mind will accept it.

And sometimes you don't say it out loud to a spouse. Sometimes you just think, whatever, there you go.

At the same time thing. Just don't let it get to you. You can acknowledge it. I hear you. Right. I understand how you're feeling, but you don't need to do anything about it. Right. And then it tends to go away. So they may be all excited in the moment, don't engage in it. But it's the same thing with the thought. So I'm really more focusing on the anxiety. The thought is that trying to get your attention for something, what is it trying to get your attention for?

Right.

Trick. The only way to fix this is to consciously, intentionally build a new neural pathway, build a new code. It's the only way to do it. So let's say, let's go even further, a step further. If it's something that.

You really do want to do something about and you're still having trouble with it. So the anxiety maybe is coming from. I really do need to do this. And I need to do this. And I'm not doing. Or, and you're. You're frozen. Because anxiety can sometimes come from the freeze mode as well. You're not doing anything. So what you can do is to start imagining it happening. So when I deal with people who have, say, fear of flying, one of the things that we do is we actually don't have them imagining being on the plane. We imagine them landing and getting their luggage off the carousel. So now they're not focusing on what's threatening them, they're focusing on the destination. On what? So they want to see themselves. They've already landed, they've got their luggage, they're getting in the Uber to go to the hotel, they're imagining all of that. And so the fear is coming in from the trip, but the destination is where they're going. So the more you can imagine the the outcome you're looking for, your brain will wire it and will help you get to that destination effortlessly, but you have to train it to do that. So mental rehearsal over and over and over in your mind makes it easier and get you there faster. But what happens typically in anxiety, what do you do? You do a mental rehearsal of the thing that's going wrong, reverse it, flip it right. What if this goes right? What if this turns out the way I want it to be? Imagine that. And the more you do it. So when I developed the whole program, the whole four hour program, I can't tell you how many thousands of sessions I did in my head.

I did session after session after session in my head. So it became so natural and easy. I didn't worry about it. I've got all the information, I've had it for years, but I practiced it over and over and over before I ever did a session. So when I got into a session, it felt very easy. But if I had never practiced it and said, okay, I'm going to do this for the first time live, one on one, right. I would have probably created a lot of stress. But I was so comfortable with it and I saw the results. Do you remember in the program whether you did it live or you did it online? Do you remember the part where I said, I have a target for you?

My target is to you to have a hundred percent of your energy and your mind. Updating, rebooting, refreshing, adjusting, so it operates clear, calm, at peace with understanding, and thoughts are beneficial, appealing and possible. Do you remember that? I do it in every single session. What am I doing? I'm setting the intention. I see it. I even say to people, had people say, well, that sounds too good to be true, or I don't know if that's possible. I said, it's not important that you see it. It's only important that you know I see it because I'm going to guide you there. So don't worry if you can't see it yet. Trust Me, I see it, and that's my intention. So I'm consciously, intentionally seeing what I want for you. And so how does it happen? Because I've set the intention. So if you want to change the way your mind's working, you have to set the intention of what you want it to be. What do you. Where do you want your mind to be? And consciously do it over and over and over until it becomes ingrained, it becomes a neural circuit, and it'll do it.

So what's up?

I love that. It reminds me of the story you shared with athletes, how they ask you what are you thinking when you were playing golf. They're asking you, what are you thinking right before you hit, Right?

I'm not thinking. I've spent all the time building the drill, right? So now I don't have to think about it. Just let it work. It's when we overthink the problem, we start thinking about what could go wrong. Oh, my gosh. And I'll use the wedding as an example. I've got this wedding coming up. Oh, my gosh. I hope it's not going to rain on my wedding day. I hope you know, the. You know, this doesn't happen. That doesn't. Well, the more you think about what could go wrong, the more you're reinforcing fear. So what you want to do is imagine everything going right. And that's why I use the airplane thing, right? So I'm afraid. So this person's afraid to get on an airplane. So what do they think about getting on the airplane? Which is exaggerating. That I'm going to have a problem on the airplane. Well, what if we didn't have a problem on the airplane? We focus on what we're going. Why are you getting on an airplane? Because you're going to the destination. Focus on the destination. And then the trip really is immaterial. You're going to get through the trip because you're focusing on the destination. I'm focusing on what I see for you. So the whole time, my intention is to help you get there.

So 100 of my intention is getting to what you're looking for, what you need, and that's what makes it work. So intention, intentionally focus. Consciously focus on what you want. That may be what the anxiety is coming from. What? I don't know, in the fear of it. So become a fear detective, right? Write it down.

So, you know, whatever. And then that mental rehearsal over and over and over. It's neuroscience. It just works. The more you practice it in Your mind, the more you see the destination that you're looking for. Right? It'll work. And every time a thought comes in, set it up against the beneficial, appealing, impossible, and then keep using your symbol, statement and anchor to calm your mind down before you start thinking about the problem. You want to get into a restorative mindset to allow your mind and your symbol, statement and anchor is the fast track to alpha.

So if you start thinking about a problem, what brainwave state are you going to be in? High beta. And now you're trying to make a change in high beta. Your mind doesn't change in beta because it's stressed. So high Beta is going to keep it in a stress mode. So your, your symbol, statement and anchor is designed to bring you back into alpha where your mind will do restoration and when. So you can listen to the audios, even if you want to do that, and then focus on the things that you want to change. Why you're listening to the audios, right? Because what are the audios all talking about? What do you want to change? What do you want to focus on? So do it in a restorative mindset to change anything that's still lingering around.

We got a great question and it says, how often should you theoretically have to visualize before it actually happens? How long does this process of moving things in theory, I'm assuming like it's individual, but like, is there any like day, number of days or weeks or something that it takes for this path to be created and to go from conscious to subconscious?

So the conscious mind can only hold a thought for seven seconds.

So seven seconds is as long as short term memory exists. So the more you repeat it. And there's no simple answer to that question. And.

If you said to me, how long does it take? Really quick, why? Because I've trained my mind to do it. So if you've never trained your mind to do it, it's going to take a little longer. But the more you do it, the faster it gets. Your mind starts to make the adjustment. So there's no I, no way I could tell you exactly what an individual would have. But I do know it will change. It has to. It's just the science. It's just the way the brain works. The brain learns through repetition. Think of repetition as research for the brain. The more you repeat it, your mind is saying, I don't know if that's safe. Did it again. I still don't see it. Did it again. Not sure. All right, this is starting to make some sense. To do it again. All right, I'm starting to buy in, Right. Why can I do it faster now? Because my mind trusts me. My mind has built a neural pathway for quick. I can do it much faster. The more you do this, the more you use the tools we've given you, right. The better you're going to be at it. And you just have to continue to practice it. So if somebody goes, well, you know, I've done this, you know, for a week. It hasn't worked. I've done it for, you know, two weeks. It hasn't worked. I don't know when it's going to work, but it's going to work. It has to. It's just the way the brain works. It learns that way. And everybody's different. So there's no two ways. So identify your strengths, right? Always we focus on our weaknesses. Identify our strengths. So I want to share a story with you, which I thought was really interesting because I saw this Malcolm Gladwell, who's amazing author, he writes all kinds of great books, outliers and things like that.

He tells a story, and I thought it's a perfect story to sort of share is it's about the story of David and Goliath, right? We all know the story of David and Goliath. But he said, and this again, is just him looking at it differently. He said, you know, when I looked at the story of David and Goliath, everybody says David, right, is the underdog, right? Because he's fighting Goliath, who's a monster, a huge human being, right? So is David the underdog by every standard? If you looked at it, you would say, yes, David is the underdog. Goliath is probably going to beat this guy because he's a superior warrior. But he said, when you look at the story, he said that the idea was, is that the Philistines were on top of one ridge and the Israelites were on top of another ridge. And the only way they could go to battle with their armies was to both come down into the valley to fight. But nobody wants to be the one coming down because if you come down, the other one has an advantage that they're on top, right? And you're vulnerable. So they were at a. A deadlock. They both couldn't move. So they agreed, you send your mightiest warrior to fight our mightiest warrior, and that will determine who wins. And so the Philistines said, we're going to send our mightiest warrior. And they got Goliath ready. Now, Goliath is a Six foot nine person, all decked out in armor. He's got a sword, he's got a spear. He's. I mean, he's, he's a fierce looking warrior and he's 6 foot 9. So Goliath starts coming down the hill and all the soldiers from Israel are looking and saying, I don't want a piece of that. Like I'm not going to, right? So. And all the soldiers from Israel are looking and saying, I don't want a piece of that. Like I'm not going, right? So they couldn't get anybody. So King Saul couldn't get anybody who wanted to go and fight. And he got it, like, who wants to go fight that guy? And so David, he's just a shepherd boy, he says, I'll do it, I'll fight him. And so Saul basically says to him, this is a suicide mission. You can't beat this guy. Look at him, look at the size of him. And David said, I'll do it. So David, everybody thinks David had a slingshot. You know, typical, like two pieces of wood with a slingshot. It wasn't that kind of a slingshot. It was actually sort of material that he would swirl around and swing and throw a rock. So David goes down and Goliath is actually taunting him, saying, you know, why would you send this guy like this? You're. You're disrespecting me, right? Send a warrior. But when. And what I thought was great about the way Malcolm Gladwell explained it is he said Goliath didn't have a chance. David wasn't the underdog. Goliath was the underdog. Because if David had to get into hand to hand combat, he would have been defeated. And David knew that. So David was literally a sniper against an infantry man. A guy in the infantry, no matter how much armor he has, doesn't have a chance against a sniper, especially because of what distance.

If David had gotten close to Goliath, he was dead. Because Goliath was a superior warrior and could have defeated him. But David used the advantage of distance. And so when David swung and swirled and, and let the rock go, he hit Goliath between the eyes, right? And instantly killed him. And so that was the sniper. The sniper had the superior advantage. So.

Two things that I wanted to sort of talk about that make sense is the distance was one of the keys for David. It's the same thing for you. Figure out the distance, keep anything that you don't need to deal with right now in the distance, you'll deal with it later. That will eliminate the anxiety. Right? And focus on your strengths. Focus on what makes you strong, what makes you good. Have you identified all your strengths? Are you focusing on what you're good at? You have many Davids in you. What are the Davids that are your strengths? You don't have to be bigger and stronger and richer or anything. You just need to identify your strengths and use your strengths. So what are your Davids? And focus, focus on that. And then make sure you keep the distance in between anything that's bothering you that doesn't need attention right now. Your anxiety will go away. Does that make sense?

I love that. What are your Davids? I'm going to be thinking about it. What are my Davids?

I've been learning that when visualizing, you also need to feel the emotion of the outcome. But oftentimes it's hard to feel the emotion of, let's say, relief of a symptom in your body disappearing if you've been experiencing for so long. Any tips on this? What's your take about feeling the emotion along with visualization? And Megan and Rita also have a question after this.

Yeah, the emotion is great. I want you to feel the emotion of succeeding. I want you to feel. Remember when we did the.

Banking, your goals and targets. Remember what we did is I wanted you to see it, hear it, feel it. If you remember what we did in the banking part, I had you first taking a walk and what were you doing when you were walking? I said, look around, see the images, see the colors, hear the noises. What are you hearing as you're walking? What are you feeling? What are you noticing? What are you.

And what are you experiencing in this moment? The purpose of that was to get you ready to bank. I wanted you to see, hear and feel what you're experiencing. So that when we get to the banking part, your mind would be like, got it right. This is what we do. So visualization. Absolutely right. I want you to feel it, hear it, see it, experience it as if it's happening. It's a positive. So I want you to do that because what are you doing right? You're building the neural pathway on how to get there. And so your mind will then see it, hear it, feel it. Is it going to bring in any fear now? No. And so you're doing it visually, so you're building up the brain to be able to experience it. And the more real you make it, the better it is. And so a lot when I work with the athletes, I say to them, I said, especially the golfers. I say, I don't think you need to hit as many golf balls as you do. I really don't. I think you're physically wearing out your body. You could do visualization, and it would have about 75% of the impact it would of physical. I really believe that. I believe that visual will create a imprint in your brain, and then your mind will then feel safe in doing it, and it'll just be able to do it. The more you do it, the more the repetition, the more the research for the brain. So experience it as real as you can.

So what was that question from Megan.

And Rita.

We'Re gonna hear? They raised their hand.

Okay.

Megan and Rita, you can unmute your mic.

Can you hear me now?

Can you hear me?

Yep. Okay, now we can hear you.

Thank you.

You're on it. You're on air. Yay.

I have been thinking about the. The possible thoughts. Can you give me some examples? Like when you have what you would switch to, when you have a beneficial, appealing. And the possible part of that equation.

Yeah. So the positive. Yes. So what you want to do is think of a possible thought. So if you had you say, well, would it be beneficial to fly a 747? Yes. Would it be appealing? Yes. Is it possible? No, because I don't have any training.

So focus on things that are possible. And then if it's something that right now doesn't feel possible, what you want to do is put together a plan to make it possible. So, yes. I couldn't fly a 747 right now, but if I really wanted to fly 747s, what would I have to do? I'd have to go and train myself. I'd have to go through a lot of training to learn how to fly one. Could I do it? Yes. Right. But it would be appealing to me. Not really. That three criteria of benefit, appeal and possibility is what keeps you on a realistic track and a track that you can follow. So if it's something you want to do, then it's beneficial. If it's appealing, it's like, I like this idea. I can see myself doing it. Now. Is it possible? If it isn't possible right now and it's really beneficial and appealing to you, then you have to do whatever it takes to make it possible.

So when you're having a negative thought.

You just apply those three criterion and then it'll just drop.

Yeah. Because you just say, so what? It's not. It's a negative thought. It's just a thought.

But if you give it power.

What's that, Maya?

I said I'm going to say, like, if you bring awareness to it, it almost dissipates. Like, I had a big. Before going through tab, I was a big what ifer? What if this. What if I hadn't done that? What if I have gone the other way? What if I have said something better? And then I. When I started using the criteria, like, the thought is appealing. Like, oh, I like it. It feels good. Like, I'm trying to find these good different ways. But, like, when it go to the possible, like, it's not possible to do anything now about something I've done two years ago. And once you have that thought, then it kind of like dissipates the original negative ones. Like, well, yeah, I can't do anything about it.

So it's. It's like you. It's. It's like your criteria in order to enter the building. So the thought shows up at the door. Is it bad that the thought showed up at the door? No, it's just a thought. I can think about jumping 20ft in the air. Doesn't mean I can do it. The thought's not the threat. It's focusing on the thought. So you have to either take the thought and accept it or discard it. But don't be threatened by a thought. A thought's just a thought. That's not the problem. But you train your brain. So the more you train your brain and you discard any kinds of thoughts that come in that don't fit. Beneficial, appeal and possibility. What are you training your mind to do? Bring in thoughts that have benefit, appeal and possibility. You're training it. Does that make sense?

Very much. Thank you.

Okay. And again, I use this. This is really powerful for people with addiction because they say, well, what happens if I think about wanting to drink? Right. I say, is it beneficial? Yeah, because you'd feel good. Is it appealing? Yeah, I want to feel good. Right. Or is it possible? I'm sorry? Is it possible? Yes. Is it appealing? Yes. Is it beneficial? No.

So that thought came in. You keep training your brain to kick thoughts that don't fit the criteria. We're not admitting those thoughts. In order to get in to your life, what do you. What's the criteria that you're going to set up to be in your life? You take charge of it. This is taking charge. I refuse to let any thought in that doesn't have benefit, appeal and possibility. Give. Get that bold with it. Like, knock it off. Stop bringing thoughts like That I don't want them. So what? Right? Who cares? Whatever. Right? And it'll stop bringing it. That indifference will shut it down. But you have to practice it, because if you've spent, like Maya was saying, a lot of her life was built around having those kinds of thoughts. So she took charge and said, okay, I'm going to use these tools to stop it. And did it stop? Did it stop for you, Maya?

100. But I found it. Even where I find it so great is that you can apply this. I call it the bad criteria everywhere, like in an argument in conflict. I'm currently applying it to weight loss because I have a goal. And I keep thinking I want something sweet. It's not beneficial for my goal. It's possible. It's definitely appealing, but doesn't fit the whole three. Drop it.

Yeah. And then your mind stops bringing those kinds of thoughts. I love. I love the. The Nelson Mandela quote. It always seems impossible until it's done.

It seems like, gosh, I spend my whole life, you know, thinking this way, right? Well, it seems impossible until you do it. And the way you do it.

That's why the FIT program.

Yeah, it always seems impossible until it's done. You have all the tools. And, like, that's why I said, I wanted to compliment you guys, because you're here every week. You. You. You're demonstrating that you have the ability and the discipline. You just need to practice it. They said, I'm giving you the tools. We're practicing the tools. You can keep coming back here every month, keep improving yourself, which I love, right? And that's why I said, we're dedicated to helping you because you're dedicated to helping yourself and you. It'll work. It just has to work. The science is all there, right? Even doing the visualization, there is study after study after study showing that it works. So it's not a wishful, you know, thinking, you know, or I'm trying to think positive. It's not that at all. It's science. Science just works.

So I had a. I'll give an example. I had a veteran who came in who had had some severe trauma. We worked on the trauma. One of his goals was he wanted to get into a relationship, and he wanted to have a serious relationship. He says, but I am petrified to talk to women. I mean, petrified, he says, I just freeze up. He says, so it's going to be really hard to find a girlfriend if I can't even talk to women. So I said to him, I said, all right, here's the technique we're going to use. I want you to have a series of inconsequential conversations with women. He goes, what do you mean? I said, I want you. Where the problem comes in is you're leaping to a relationship. How do I talk to a girl and get a relationship? So what we're going to do is train your brain to be able to talk to women without any consequences. So if you go to the supermarket, right, you come up to a lady, it doesn't have to be somebody you're interested or attracted to. It's just a woman, right? Ask her a question. Do you know where the orange juice aisle is? I can't find the orange juice, right? She's not going to be threatened. She's not going to come across aggressive or dismissive, right? Because she's in a supermarket, there's lots of people, so she's not going to feel fear. But what you're doing is training your mind to start having inconsequential conversations with women. So you're going to take the fear down. And the more you do it, the more your mind starts to adopt, right? That women aren't a lion. And then eventually you'll be able to. So I was doing this actually with 10 veterans in three days. He came up to the room that we were using on the way down in the elevator, I was taking him back down, right? There were people in the elevator, and I just started talking to them. And so anyway, when we got off, I said, do you see what I just did there? And he goes, what'd you do? I said, I had the inconsequential conversation. What do most people do when they get in the elevator? They stare at the floor, right? And so because they don't want to talk, everybody's uncomfortable. I said, get out of that uncomfortableness, right? And start having conversations with people, right? And it's not threatening. We're in an elevator. They're not threatened. I didn't ask him anything like, I don't want to sit there and get in an elevator with a woman by myself and say, so where do you live? Right? That wouldn't be inconsequential. That would be frightening to her, right? So you don't. You have to judge it. But again, what I was teaching them and talk to him afterwards, and he's saying, I'm having dozens of inconsequential conversations all the time now. And it's so easy to do. He trained his mind to not fear it. There's anxiety. Train your mind to not fear what it's thinking about. And you have to just train it.

Make sense.

Or the great Charlie Chaplin Charlie Chaplin quote. You'll never see a rainbow if you look at the ground.

Oh wow. I love that.

Yeah. So you have to look up. You have to make the changes. And again, congratulations on coming here and doing this every month and continuing your audios, continue to learn and develop.

Was there anything else? Because I think we're pretty much right at the end.

We are on the time and I'm going to stop recording in a minute here. But I just want to invite that if you guys have any additional questions that maybe we didn't go over this time, please send them our way. And we will respond in the via email or in the community or in the on the next webinar. But we'll make sure to respond. And then I just want to. It's not anxiety related, but we got a very interesting question. Well too. And I'm wondering if more of our members experience it and just wanted your feedback on it. One wonderful lady asked, said that she noticed that her symbol is evolving. It's almost like changing and evolving every time she thinks about it. What, what's your take on that? Why does it happen?

I've heard that, I've heard that a number of times. I never tell people to think that way, so I never tell you what to do. I want you in your mind to do it, but if it does that, that's actually fine. So my wife Bridget, her first symbol was a horse. And then she saw the horse running and stopping like right close to her. And then she was on the horse. Right. So hers evolved that way. And she's not a horse rider, but that was a symbol. I think she wanted a powerful symbol. And then as she kept growing, she kept talking. I love the way she explained it. She says it was a gentle unfolding. She just kept noticing the things changing. And she says so she went from the horse being her symbol of strength to the horse showing its power and coming up close to her until she felt safe to get on the horse. Right. And then she was on the power that she needed and that was that again. Always keep on growing. Always keep on learning.

So it's a, it's a great, that's a great way. If that's the way your mind is processing, trust it. Your mind is actually always, if you remember you can't sabotage yourself. It's impossible. Your mind's always focused on your survival and keeping you safe. It's all about safety. So again, anxiety is about safety. So identify what's the safety issue. Right.

I'll make sure I didn't miss anything else. Oh, and I wanted to share this. We learn. I also learn, too, from all of you. So sometimes I'm picking up things, even in sessions and picking up things. I had a really good one happen the other day when I was trying to explain to the gentleman the difference between the human mind and the animal mind, that humans. Right. We have memory, we have consciousness, and animals don't have memory. Or I don't have consciousness. So he said to me, he goes. He says, so this is sort of like if you took your dog and you put the dog in the trunk of your car, and you put your wife in the trunk of the car with the dog, and then you close the lid and you drove around for an hour, he says, and then you open up the trunk, your dog's glad to see you.

Because it has no idea it's been in the trunk for an hour. But your wife, not so much. Right. And I thought, I'm using that. That is so good. That's the best definition of the human mind and animal mind. Right?

Really cool.

Yeah, I know. The whole office was laughing that day.

Oh, my. I couldn't stop laughing in the session. I. I just couldn't stop getting that out of my head. It was like. It's the perfect description. Right.

We also did another question that I thought it's interesting. It's more related to the tip program and clearing, and I wanted to make sure we touch upon that as well. Anybody that has to leave, please don't feel you have to stay on. This will be recorded. I know we're a few minutes over. We want to respect your time. This person said that they feel great after the program, but they have woken up several times now crying. They lost their mom six years ago, and now since starting the program, when they dream of their mom, they get emotional. It's like the blockages are removed. So what do you think is happening? Like, is this just the subconscious, you know, doing this?

All these techniques, continuing to process? Yes. They just did the program recently, right? Recently, yeah. So it's still processing. Your mind will continue to process. So remember, what's the purpose of an emotion? To create an action. So her mind is still processing about that death, and so she probably suppressed a lot of it for how long ago was the mother. Did the mother pass away six years ago? Yeah. So she hadn't processed it. So her mind's trying to process it, and it's bringing up the emotions to get an action until it clears it.

So great, great question though. And very observant, like be observant of these kinds of things and ask these questions on this. Nothing wrong.

Yeah. Can I ask a question? What would be the action in that situation?

Don't die.

Don't what?

Don't die.

Die?

Yeah. Her mind saying don't, don't die. Her mom passing away, she really hadn't resolved it. So her mind sees her mother dying and it's saying don't die. And it's trying to get her not to die.

Okay.

Is that possible?

No, no.

But her mind doesn't know that because it's looking at all the data as it's processing. It's seeing her mother alive. A great example is I had a, a 12 year old girl that had been actually hospitalized three times for attempting or wanting to attempt suicide. And the story was is that her mother passed away when she was 5. And then her father got married, remarried in a year they had two more children. So she now had her father and a stepmom and two stepchildren or siblings. And so she said.

I remember at five years of age, everybody being in our house and everybody was crying. And she says, and I remember as a five year old saying, my mother's just sleeping, she's not dead. Like she didn't understand what death was. She just said, why is everybody crying that my mother's sleeping? And she says, and then it hit her about 12 years of age that her mother wasn't coming back and her mind. Right. Was not okay with it. And so what I did is we took her through the process of getting her mind to update. Right. That her mother wasn't dying. Right. That there's no action we can take because she kept thinking, or the way her mind was looking at it is why we know she's dying. Why aren't they stopping it? And they kept. Her mind kept thinking, you can stop it because it's happening.

Or maybe like try to save her from, from not dying, Something like that.

Yeah. Savor or do something or take an action. Because a 5 year old doesn't have enough life experience to interpret that event. So in her mind it's stuck as she's dying and nobody's stopping it. So then her mind's starting to get her to stop it. Right. But she can't stop it. But it hasn't resolved it. So once we got, I mean it was so bad that they couldn't send her to school. The father had to work from home. They couldn't leave her alone, so he had to stay home, do his job. Because if they. They're afraid that if she went to school, she'd leave school and commit suicide. And what I said to her when I sat down with her is I said, I don't believe you wanted to die. You were just in a lot of pain. Your mind produced a thought that one way to start solve this pain is if I die. I said, but that doesn't mean you want to die. It was just a thought. And I don't believe she only talked about it. She never had any attempts at it. Right. So. But as soon as a 12 year old girl says, I'm gonna kill myself, right? Instantly, right. They hospitalize her and put her on all kinds of medications. But I don't think it was about. I don't believe a lot of times suicide's about wanting to die. It's about wanting to stop pain. And your mind will produce all kinds of thoughts to stop pain. And that was one of the thoughts that came up with. Didn't mean she was gonna do it, but she had no other way to stop the pain. And that was a thought that came up.

Can I ask another question?

Sure.

What happened? If you feel guilty.

That your father passed away and you didn't do anything, you know, as a child.

Right. So how old were you?

14. 14. So at 14, what could you have done?

Nothing. Right.

Was there an action that you could take at 14 to stop that?

No. So what's the purpose of the guilt? The guilt is to get you to do something different. But is it possible to do something different now? No. That's what we need to get your mind right. You can honor your father. Right. Your father's not in pain anymore. Right. So when you think about your father. Right. Most people, when they think about death, think about the person dying. I think about my parents now and I think about the hockey games we went to. I think about all the things that we did. I think about all the positive things. I am a product of my parents, right? Everything that I learned, everything that I do now, if I think about that day, that would. That's not what I want to think about. That's not who my father was that day that he died. That was just the body that contained his energy about who he is that died that day. But my father and my mother still live, I believe, with me and in me. Right? And they are who I am. And so I don't think about the day they died. I think about all the thousands of great memories that I had about my parents and I. And I think about my parents, I just smile.

Would your father ever want you to feel bad?

I guess not.

No. So. So we honor him, right, by thinking of all the great things that he brought to you, all the great things that he did for you in your life. That's what I do. And so I never feel bad. I always feel I'm literally happy when I think about my parents, because that's what they wanted me to think. I could just imagine if I. My dad heard me say, oh, I'm really sad that you died. You go, why? Why would you be sad? Right? So he would. He would always have said to me, like, he was always so positive about. About everything, and he'd want me to be positive about. About everything I am. And if I. I. My dad heard me say, oh, I'm really sad that you died. You go, why?

Why would you be sad? Right? So he would. He would always have said to me, like, he was always so positive about everything, and he want me to be positive about. About everything that I am. And that's how you honor the people we love. They never want us to be bad, feel sad. They never want us to feel pain, right? My parents never wanted to be sad, so they would have done anything to stop me from being sad.

And then the guilt is just your mind saying, louise, stop it. And that's how you honor the people we love. They never want us to be bad, feel sad, do something. Because what you said was very powerful. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything to stop my father from dying. So the guilt is right. All right. So if we can get you guilty enough, you're going to do something about it.

Right? Religion got that message a long time. They never want us to feel pain, right? My parents never wanted to be sad, so they would have done time ago. They can change all kinds of things with guilt, right? But guilt is useless. Anything to stop me from being sad.

And then the guilt is just your mind saying, louise, stop it.

Does that help?

Quite a relief.

Awesome. There you go. Just get a reboot, an update, right?

Very good.

Anything else that we had do something because what you said was very powerful. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything to stop my father from dying. So the guilt is right. All right. So if we can get you guilty enough, you're going to do something about it.

Right? Religion got that message a long time. Maya to cover.

I think those are all questions we Got for today. I think this was. This was great. Not just because I was, like, managing it, but this was usually.

That's right. Well, great job. You did a great job. I think that's. That's a little easier to do too.

Great job to everybody. Thank you for participating. Thank you for sharing.

They can change all kinds of things with guilt. Right? But guilt is useless.

Your stories, asking your questions. This is what this community is all about.

Focus on change. Make the change you're capable of doing it. Identify what the change needs to be. Once you identify it, you'll be able to make it change. Just like, once I figured out how this guy was doing those hip checks, I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so simple. That help?

Quite a relief.

Awesome. There you go. Just get a reboot, an update. Right, right, of course. And he looked like a genius. Right. And it was just that simple.

So chances are, all the thoughts that are coming in that have that anxiety built into them are very simple to fix. Just got to identify it.

Very good.

Anything else that we had, once you know it, you'll go, oh, my gosh, that was crazy. Really? I could fix that.

Cool. Well, have a great weekend, everybody, and we'll see you next month. Maya to cover.

I think those are all questions we got for today.

And that was fun, but I don't think I'm gonna put my wife in a trunk anytime soon. But have fun. No, I don't suggest it.

I think this was. This was great. Not just because I was, like, managing it, but this was awesome.

That's right. Well, great job. You did a great job. I think that's a little easier to do, too.

Great job to everybody. Thank you for participating. Thank you for sharing your stories, asking your questions. This is what this community is all about.

Focus on change. Make the change you're capable of doing it. Identify what the change needs to be. Once you identify it, you'll be able to make it change. Just like, once I figured out how this guy was doing those hip checks, I was like, oh, my gosh, that's so simple. Right. Of course, he looked like a genius. Right. And it was just that simple.

So chances are all the thoughts that are coming in that have that anxiety built into them are very simple to fix. Just gotta identify it. Once you know it, you'll go, oh, my gosh, that was creating it. Really? I could fix that.

Cool. Well, have a great weekend, everybody, and we'll see you next month. Yeah, that was fun, but I don't think I'm gonna put my wife in a trunk anytime soon, but have fun. No, I don't suggest it.