Dr. Don Wood presents a formula for empowerment: gratitude plus forgiveness. He recommends writing three things you're grateful for each day, then practicing forgiveness by writing unsent letters to yourself and others before destroying them. Resentment harms your health; these practices help release it.
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So I'm also often asked, so what is a lifestyle that's empowered? How do you live an empowered life? So don't worry, I have a formula. Because not being a scientist, but my formula is gratitude plus forgiveness equals living an empowered life, living the life that you desire, living the life that you want. I'm grateful for everything. Well, name, can you name three things? Right? Well, I don't know. I said, no, you must name three things. And you, I would like you actually to write them down. Here, take, take 60 seconds and write them down. Because 95% of the world learns visually. So here, write them down. And that's a chore. Looking in the mirror becomes easy and deciding whether you like it or not. But being grateful, well, I don't know what you mean. I said, well, let me give you an example. I'm grateful because I wake up in the morning. I'm grateful because I can hear birds singing. I can look at my garden. I can have a cup of coffee. Well, that's silly. I go, not to me. Are you grateful for any of those things? And it becomes this, almost like a competition. Well, you can be grateful because you got it made this that I go, no, I can be grateful because I'm present to what's going on in my life. And then they get the gist of it. Are you grateful? Oh, I got to go to my lousy job. I said, well, okay, but this, that's a blessing because now you know you have a lousy job or you think you do, what would you like to do about it? You have choices. The gratitude thing is big with me. And it's one thing that's going to make you or break you, no questions about it. And the other part of that formula is forgiveness. I have several relatives that say, I could never forgive him. How can you? And I say, well, here's the thing. Forgiveness and non forgiveness is either helping or hurting you. Not that person. I said, really? Science proves that if you are carrying resentment and non forgiveness, you're doing more to your insides than you can even imagine. And that is probably contributing to possibly some, some ill health and ill. Well, being ill, not being that you may have. So to forgive someone and start with yourself, start with yourself, look in the mirror. I forgive you. I forgive you for A, B and C. An exercise I use with forgiveness is to write a letter. Some people look at me like, oh, don't worry, you don't have to send it to the person you're forgiving. Don't have to send it. But I want you to write the letter because remember, 95% of the world learns visually. Let's start with yourself. Write yourself a letter. Dear self, I've been meaning to write to you for some time. How are you? First of all, how are you? New paragraph. I know that you didn't mean to hurt me. When you fill in the blank, you did whatever you did, some hurtful thing. You're writing to yourself now. I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I forgive you. Then write another letter. Pick someone that has hurt you, has done some hurtful thing to you. Write them a letter. Dear person, I've been meaning to write to you for some time. How are you? I know that when you betrayed me, cheated on me, really used me as a doormat, you didn't mean to. I don't know what was going on with you, but you didn't mean to. I was hurt, but I forgive you. The letter's over. Then do whatever you want to do with the letter. Rip it up, flush it down the toilet, put it down the garbage disposal, burn it, whatever you want to do. But the point is, you're releasing because you are stuck. If you are not forgiving yourself or someone for something, you're creating another trauma.
So what do you do if somebody just can't do it?
They're not ready. They're just not ready to do it. And so I don't abandon them and say, go home. I say, you know, you're not ready. And I can totally understand that. Let's talk, if you'd like to, about something that would help you be ready for that.
Yeah, people have a hard time getting to forgiveness.
Absolutely. That forgiveness word, boy, it's not a popular subject. I once did a summit on forgiveness, and it was the first thing I started out with. I smiled and I said, you know, I've been asked to speak about forgiveness, but it's really not a popular subject. So that, you know, loosened everyone up. But it's so essential to forgive. We've all been hurt, we've all been wronged, from the littlest thing to the biggest thing. But all you're doing is contributing to your own dis. Ease, your own not so well being by not forgiving yourself and by not forgiving someone else. Just get rid of it. Release it. Very good. So that's a strong formula for living an empowered life.
