Conversation between Dr. Don Wood and another speaker challenging a conventional view of ADHD. They argue ADHD behaviors often reflect adaptive coping to early childhood stress (especially ages 0–7), where children 'tune out' to survive stressors and thus appear distracted in school. The speakers note that interest re-engages attention—many labelled ADHD individuals can focus and excel when doing activities they care about—and that therapeutic, one-on-one, attuned approaches can reduce ADHD-like behaviors. The discussion references trauma, family stress, and Gabor Maté's concept of attunement deficit as organizing ideas.
Chapters
This is what I explain with adhd. I'll say to them, did you have a stressful home growing up? Whether it was intentional or not, you could have two professional parents that love their kids, but they're totally stressed out professionally. It's going to show up in the children. So they're not trying to do it, it's just the way they're dealing with their stress. So if during the most formative brain development years, between 0 and 7, this child is dealing with all of this stress, intentional or not, the child doesn't have fight or flight options. You and I, as adults, if we get into a disagreement, you can fight with me or walk away. A child doesn't have either. They can't fight, they can't walk away. So how do they deal with the stress? They literally do this. They tune it out. They'll focus on anything but that stress. So now they look totally distracted, they can't focus. But they trained their brain to do that.
Yeah.
And so to survive.
Yeah.
So now you stick them in a school and you say, now focus on that. That lady up at the front of the class. Well, they've trained their brain to do the opposite and then they diagnose them that there's something wrong. They have adhd. Well, no, they just need to retrain their brain. There's nothing wrong with them. It's a coping mechanism. They coped with their stress by unfocusing.
Yeah.
And yet now, here's what's fascinating. So many of them are very, very smart. And then I just had a rather very bright. I just had a. I was in a conference last week and this one gentleman said, you know, had ADHD and Eddie's super successful. And I said to him, tell me what you're really good at. And he goes, well, here's what. Here's where my strengths are. And I said, the reason you were able to do that is because you were interested in it. When you have interest in something, the ADHD doesn't stay because now you can focus because you like what you're doing when you found. But now, because you do things, you trained your brain. If I'm not interested in this, ignore it, don't pay attention to it. So they can diagnose themselves or get diagnosed with adhd, when in actual fact they're brilliant. All they have to do is find out what they're interested in and they can excel. And so it's actually a great way to train your brain, but it turns up in school as you've got big.
And some of the parents. Now I'm having more and more parents say I'm adhd and now my kid is, or I suspect or whatever. And I'm like, there's so much trauma probably lurking here that isn't being talked about. I'm sure you've heard of Gabor, mate.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He said somewhere he likes to. He likened it to attunement deficit. And I was like, that is exactly how I observe it in our kids too. And so I feel like we've had a lot of. We've had. There's lots and lots of kids who come who have a diagnosis, who are in the middle of a diagnosis or they're suspicious that they have it. They're starting meds in the middle of the med change or fully medicated and haven't, you know, it's better for them. Like we have all variations of that showing up here. There was a young boy whose father also passed away during COVID and mom was diagnosed with cancer and his ADHD was off the charts. And I'm like, well, no kidding.
Like, yeah, don't focus on that problem.
He, there's so much he doesn't want to look at. It makes perfect sense. But when they come and they work with us one on one, the ADHD usually isn't present.
No. Because they're interested. You make it interesting. And now they want to pay attention. And they can pay attention.
Yes. And so I'm like, I get asked like, why doesn't it show up here? And I'm like, it's the way we're working with them. But I don't know how to, I don't really know how to explain it well. But it's almost always a, A family will come in with a diagnosis, a medication or an IEP for their individual education plan, all these things, or an IQ or whatever. And I'm like, everybody just stop with the boxes, please, and let me just. Your student.
Yes.
And we have a great session. Like it's, it's all that noise I feel like is also contributing to what's happening.
And as soon as you give them something that's interesting and exciting, the way you're presenting it is not the way they got it presented to them in school.
And that's what they say often. I wish my teacher would have just said that, or can you come teach my class? I'm like, you wouldn't want me in your classroom. That would not be a good combo. I am a one on one girl. Like, this is our sweet spot. But I hear that because I, I'm catching that. Why didn't somebody else do it this way? Or that's what I needed. And honestly, it's someone taking the time and being attentive and totally calm place.
And making it interesting.
Yeah.
So the way you present the information, and that's what I said to this gentleman is I said, why are you able to do these other things so well, Right. When you tell me you have adhd, so you don't have it when you do what you like, and you do have it when you don't do what you like. Well, that's human, of course. And so it's, it's such a different way to, to look at it.
