Doug NollI'm called in when human dynamics are getting in the way of strategic leadership execution.

3 Levels of Reflective Listening #mindfulcommunication

24 Dec 2025 · 1 min

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In this instructional segment, the speaker outlines the second tier of reflective listening, termed Type 2 reflective listening. It consists of three core techniques: paraphrasing the speaker’s words, identifying the core message, and labeling the speaker’s affect. Unlike active listening, Type 2 deliberately avoids “I” statements; instead, the listener uses only “you” statements when reflecting another person’s words, meaning, or emotions, reserving “I” statements for expressing one’s own feelings. The presenter emphasizes that mastering these skills enables the listener to make the speaker feel deeply heard and validated.

Chapters

3 levels of reflective listening, Type 2 reflective listening: paraphrasing, core messaging, and affect labeling. In this kind of reflective listening, we don't use I statements. So it's very different from active listening. We only use you statements. And the way I teach this is you use I statements when you're talking about your own emotions or your own stuff. You use a you statement when you're reflecting somebody else's. Words or their meaning or their emotions. So the effect of all of this is that once you learn these skills is that you create, as the listener, you make the speaker feel deeply heard and validated.