5 Questions That Make Any Argument Worse

If you've ever tried to talk it out during an argument, you've probably made things worse without realizing it. Here are 5 questions that will make any fight escalate. Number 1: What are you really feeling right now? When someone's angry, their brain is flooded with emotion and they can't name their feelings. They just feel them. Number 2: What's the real issue underneath this? That's a question for the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that shuts down when emotions are high. Number 3: What do you need to feel heard? When someone's defensive, this sounds like a trap. They hear, "You're not making sense," not "I care about you." Number 4: "How is this making you feel about us?" Now you've taken their anger and attached it to the relationship. Congratulations, the fire just doubled. Number 5: "What would help you feel understood right now?" They can't think clearly enough to answer, and being asked to will only make them angrier. So the next time things get heated, skip the questions and remember that talking can wait until the brain comes back online. Save this for the next time you're tempted to fix a fight with words.