Empathy Is Not a Feeling — It’s a Skill (And Here’s How to Use It)

Here's the default approach. You might say something like, "Your numbers are down. Pick it up or I can't guarantee your future here." Here is what leadership empathy looks like. "Hey, your numbers are down. You're feeling frustrated and you're angry and you're worried and concerned." And the other person says, "Yeah." "Tell me what's going on." Maybe their kid is sick. Maybe they're struggling at home. Empathy is not your own internal feeling of what they're feeling. Empathy is telling them what they're feeling. It's emotional validation from the person that you're talking to. When you lead with empathy, performance follows. Leadership is not a rank. It's not a reward. It's a choice. It's the choice to calm people in your charge, to make them feel heard when they're upset, to create conditions where they can do their best work. It's nervous system leadership, not personality leadership. And that choice is available to you right now.